HI From Brazil!

[Jonny B]

Hi everyone, I'm from Brazil, 45 years old, married for 20, I'm kind of new to this lifestyle, I mean, the idea of ​​knowing that my wife has sex with other men always turned me on, but I only came out in the last few years, I still haven't opened up to her, kind of, maybe she's suspicious, the subject kind of became taboo after the first betrayal many years ago, but seeing how she's been doing things now, without worrying too much about hiding it from me, it gives me the impression that she already knows. Anyway, I'm here to exchange experiences and learn more about this wonderful lifestyle.

[Deeperlove1369]

Hello Jonny B. I held this secret for 21 years (now married 30) and I do regret not opening up fully to her years before. Here's the deal, you'll be vulnerable, but trust her and lay it all out there. She'll go through all the emotions and confusion all prospective Hotwives do - "Why would he want me to sleep with other men?" "Is my husband gay?" "Does he just want to use this as leverage to sleep with other women?" "Is he setting me up to use it against me in court?" Of course none of that is even remotely true, and she will have about a million other questions on top of those.

Good news, is there is a metric ass-ton of research on this topic and there's abundant resources available to you and her. Keep in mind, reality could be a bridge too far for either of you and there are other ways to role play this fantasy without actually doing it, plus role-playing it can open the door to desires and emotions she (or you) didn't even know you had. For us, reality was 1,000% better than the fantasy, but you better have lots of compersion and unconditional love, respect, and trust for each other. Be brutally honest with yourselves and each other and yes, this wonderful lifestyle cascades across your entire lives - not just the bedroom. I once told my wife this: "If you see a couple that have been married for 10, 20, 30+ years and they still act like newly weds, they are in some type of Ethical Non-Monogamy/Consensual Non-Monogamy relationship; monogamy does not achieve this level of happiness."

Welcome to a wonderful world.

[Jonny B]

Hello Jonny B. I held this secret for 21 years (now married 30) and I do regret not opening up fully to her years before. Here's the deal, you'll be vulnerable, but trust her and lay it all out there. She'll go through all the emotions and confusion all prospective Hotwives do - "Why would he want me to sleep with other men?" "Is my husband gay?" "Does he just want to use this as leverage to sleep with other women?" "Is he setting me up to use it against me in court?" Of course none of that is even remotely true, and she will have about a million other questions on top of those.

Good news, is there is a metric ass-ton of research on this topic and there's abundant resources available to you and her. Keep in mind, reality could be a bridge too far for either of you and there are other ways to role play this fantasy without actually doing it, plus role-playing it can open the door to desires and emotions she (or you) didn't even know you had. For us, reality was 1,000% better than the fantasy, but you better have lots of compersion and unconditional love, respect, and trust for each other. Be brutally honest with yourselves and each other and yes, this wonderful lifestyle cascades across your entire lives - not just the bedroom. I once told my wife this: "If you see a couple that have been married for 10, 20, 30+ years and they still act like newly weds, they are in some type of Ethical Non-Monogamy/Consensual Non-Monogamy relationship; monogamy does not achieve this level of happiness."

Welcome to a wonderful world.

Thank you for your words, I have a lot to learn in this field, but I have already noticed some changes in her behavior, to tell the truth since the first betrayal many years ago, she has become more receptive to having male friendships, and as I have always encouraged, I think over the years she has kind of "guessed", I don't know if that is the right word, that I wouldn't mind if something happened between them, but until recently nothing had happened, except that now she has been having very intimate conversations with a co-worker and They go out to lunch together, and it's not like she was too worried about doing all this in secret, maybe he's just another friend of hers, but this time something is different, anyway I intend to open up to her soon.

Thank you.

[Deeperlove1369]

Given her interest in other men, I'd suggest the sooner the better. There is a big difference between sharing and not sharing. If she is potentially sneaking around, or simply keeping you in the dark/hiding things from you (be it feelings, intent, or activities themselves), that is a recipe for impending doom.

When all is out on the table coupled with trust, respect, love, and wide-open communication, this lifestyle will bring you 2 even closer together. On the other hand, of she is doing her own thing behind your back, even if you think it's hot, she's still cheating and trouble is most assuredly on the way my friend. While this lifestyle is the most rewarding thing we've ever done, it is not free of risks and hard work.

Good luck to both of you, and be sure to get her to register on OHW as she can find many answers to get questions as well as lots and lots of support and encouragement, for you as well. Feel free to keep posting your progress and you are also welcome to send PMs.

[Jonny B]

Given her interest in other men, I'd suggest the sooner the better. There is a big difference between sharing and not sharing. If she is potentially sneaking around, or simply keeping you in the dark/hiding things from you (be it feelings, intent, or activities themselves), that is a recipe for impending doom.

When all is out on the table coupled with trust, respect, love, and wide-open communication, this lifestyle will bring you 2 even closer together. On the other hand, of she is doing her own thing behind your back, even if you think it's hot, she's still cheating and trouble is most assuredly on the way my friend. While this lifestyle is the most rewarding thing we've ever done, it is not free of risks and hard work.

Good luck to both of you, and be sure to get her to register on OHW as she can find many answers to get questions as well as lots and lots of support and encouragement, for you as well. Feel free to keep posting your progress and you are also welcome to send PMs.

If nothing extraordinary happens, I intend to talk to her this weekend. What worries me a little is that I feel in conversations with her supposed lover something beyond just sexual interest, but it's something I should already know, she would never go out with someone who didn't have at least some emotional connection, anyway, I can't postpone this conversation anymore, our marriage has been through so much in these 20 years, I hope it's just the beginning of a new cycle. I intend to post the results of the conversation in the appropriate thread, and I will let you know when I do. But I don't think she would register here, at least not yet, who knows in the future, but if everything goes well, I'll ask her permission to let me post a photo to present her in the appropriate topic for that.

Thank you.

[Deeperlove1369]

You're welcome and good luck. My wife again needs an emotional connection which I support and even encourage, it's the only way for her to be comfortable enough to be sexual with another man. It's actually pretty endearing, I love that about her. If that's what she needs, then if you really want this, you'll need to support her. If you do this together with the utmost trust, respect, and love, you might enjoy it too. Good luck.