Exploring

[Curiousgrl]

Good morning all. I am new here and exploring the lifestyle. I’m not a hotwife, but I’m exploring the idea. My husband introduced me to this and I am looking for tips/advise.

[armyguyot1]

Welcome to the forum Curiousgrl. You will find more help and understanding than you can imagine here. Don't be afraid to ask any question. It is definitely and adult site and you should not be afraid to ask or say what's on your mind. We have different forums for different points of view but there is no penalty for chosing the wrong one. Just go for it.

[zorro]

Welcome. Whatever you ultimately decide, remember to always do what you want to do. Over time, you may find that you have desires you never thought you had. If so, respect and honor them. As a woman, you are a sexual marvel who may scare some men but can thrill your husband if he is open to worshiping you.

It is a brave and wonderful world.

[Curiousgrl]

Thank you for some responses. My husband wants me to try, but I’m not sure. I worry what would happen between us and honestly can’t imagine being with someone else. I really want to know more.

[Curiousgrl]

Thank u for the responses. Just wanting to know more. My husband wants me to try but I’m not sure about it.

[Mlghten]

Welcome to the site

[Farmgirl]

Thank u for the responses. Just wanting to know more. My husband wants me to try but I’m not sure about it.

Welcome! Are you unsure as in not really wanting to try, or are you intrigued by it?
I've been a Hotwife for going on 30 years. My husband and I have made pretty much all of the mistakes that could be made, we've hit every pothole in the road, but we grew together and have a better, closer marriage than anyone we know. It has been great for us and for many couples here.
I am very happy to answer anything you would be curious about, as well would be my husband, Her number1.

BTW, All Verified Hotwives, VHW, have bright blue names, except for 2inUP, she has a bright gold name.

[Curiousgrl]

I’ve only been with two people in my life. I grew up very religious and once ur married that’s it. I want to make my hubby happy, but I’m very nervous.

[Shadnaster]

I’ve only been with two people in my life. I grew up very religious and once ur married that’s it. I want to make my hubby happy, but I’m very nervous.

It's great that you want to make your hubby happy but it's not like cooking him his favorite meal. You have to want it for you too. At least a little.

[SilverStag]

Welcome to the adventure! How wonderful that you choose to investigate before making a decision. Once you are satisfied that you have all of the data you need, your decision (for or against) will be easier to make and justify.

There is a wealth of advice and histories available here. As Farmgirl said, don't be afraid to ask us anything as many of us have lived the experience.

[Wantsomefunto]

Curious
My wife was much like you, took her years before she experimented with any hot wife play. Once she took the plunge, she really began to like her freedom to have great sex. Take your time, decide for yourself, but you will never know if you like it until you try it. If you have questions, feel free to PM me

[Curiousgrl]

Thank u for the responses. Just wanting to know more. My husband wants me to try but I’m not sure about it.

Welcome! Are you unsure as in not really wanting to try, or are you intrigued by it?
I've been a Hotwife for going on 30 years. My husband and I have made pretty much all of the mistakes that could be made, we've hit every pothole in the road, but we grew together and have a better, closer marriage than anyone we know. It has been great for us and for many couples here.
I am very happy to answer anything you would be curious about, as well would be my husband, Her number1.

BTW, All Verified Hotwives, VHW, have bright blue names, except for 2inUP, she has a bright gold name.

So what was ur first step? I need to know what to do first and I want to start slow.

[Farmgirl]

So what was ur first step? I need to know what to do first and I want to start slow.

First off, have a heartfelt conversation with your husband about what you want. I'm sure you've talked about it some as I know he's wanted this for you and him for years. He loves you very much to want this journey with you, and he wants you to want it and to enjoy it.

I was a banker when I started Hotwifing. I had learned to flirt early on so I upped my flirting game with all of my customers. The nice thing about flirting is it's fun for you and them with no real attachments or expectations of anything real happening. It's a fun sexy game that will get you practice and build your sexual confidence while you learn which men are capable of playing the game.
Once I had a few very interested, I upped my flirting and innuendo finally giving one my number, saying " I'd like it if you called me, it would be nice to talk ".

The nice thing about flirting is that you can go as slow as you want, building your confidence, and your moisture . It's a very heady experience knowing that a man other than your husband wants you. You are in control of how things proceed, and it needs to be how you want it and when you want it.

[Curiousgrl]

So what was ur first step? I need to know what to do first and I want to start slow.

First off, have a heartfelt conversation with your husband about what you want. I'm sure you've talked about it some as I know he's wanted this for you and him for years. He loves you very much to want this journey with you, and he wants you to want it and to enjoy it.

I was a banker when I started Hotwifing. I had learned to flirt early on so I upped my flirting game with all of my customers. The nice thing about flirting is it's fun for you and them with no real attachments or expectations of anything real happening. It's a fun sexy game that will get you practice and build your sexual confidence while you learn which men are capable of playing the game.
Once I had a few very interested, I upped my flirting and innuendo finally giving one my number, saying " I'd like it if you called me, it would be nice to talk ".

The nice thing about flirting is that you can go as slow as you want, building your confidence, and your moisture . It's a very heady experience knowing that a man other than your husband wants you. You are in control of how things proceed, and it needs to be how you want it and when you want it.

How did u find the person to do that with?

[Farmgirl]

How did u find the person to do that with?

I flirt with most men I meet. Flirting is fun even if you aren't interested, or they aren't interested, in taking it further. But by flirting with most of them, I get to see whether they might be interesting.
My boyfriend wasn't someone who stood out, but once he started flirting with me I saw that he was very interesting.
On behalf of our ranch, I do business all around the county so it's easy to run into men almost everywhere I go, and to flirt with them. That's how I meet men. Smile, make eye contact, and hold it a bit longer than usual gets it started.

Back when the kids were into sports, I met a lot of men at the kid's games and practices.

[zorro]

IMHO, listen to Farmgirl. She knows what the life is and what the life isn't, and she has the life.

She also knows the fine art of having your cake and eating it too, with love from the man of your heart.

One to take very seriously.

[Curiousgrl]

What is a good site for me to go to to meet someone.

[leggysman]

There are a few different sites that people here use - from more vanilla hookup sites like Tinder or ashley madison, to "lifestyle" sites like adultfriendfinder, and sls.com.

I've seen a number of people speak highly of kasidie.com but we haven't really tried that one, yet.

sdc.com is a good one. Most everyone is respectful and "for real". You don't have to spend much time explaining the fact that you're married, your husband is aware, etc. You can just say you're an aspiring hotwife, and the guys will typically 'get' it. It's a paid site (with free trial) but it's worth it -- when everyone's paying, the quality and seriousness of the participants tends to go up.

[irishmusicman]

My wife and I are exploring. My concern for you, based on the books I've read and what I've seen here, is that you don't seem interested in it for yourself and you're not experienced with casual sex. My wife has a lot of experience with hookups as recently as 2020, so all she would be doing is having casual sex while I watch. She knows how hookups work and how to navigate them. You have a lot to learn how to navigate so I would go very slowly and take your time. In the end, both people should be doing it for both of you. If one person is doing it for the other and not also themselves I think it's less likely to work. The more experienced people should correct me if I'm wrong.

[Mumfred]

My wife and I are exploring. My concern for you, based on the books I've read and what I've seen here, is that you don't seem interested in it for yourself and you're not experienced with casual sex. My wife has a lot of experience with hookups as recently as 2020, so all she would be doing is having casual sex while I watch. She knows how hookups work and how to navigate them. You have a lot to learn how to navigate so I would go very slowly and take your time. In the end, both people should be doing it for both of you. If one person is doing it for the other and not also themselves I think it's less likely to work. The more experienced people should correct me if I'm wrong.

She is on here asking questions and trying to learn. Seems pretty reasonable to me.

[manmuscle]

I have had a few GFs that became Hot GFs. Every time that situation happened it was because her sex drive and need for attention was pretty high. In my opinion, there was no way one man could satisfy their sexual needs. They liked having a BF, but they needed lots of sexual pleasure and attention. The first time I had sex with one woman, I said "I am going to need help to take care of your needs!" Once I freed her of the societal norms and supported her, she really had a lot of fun.

However, there have been more women that this wasn't their thing. You can't push a rope.

The women that became Hot GFs was because they wanted to do it and truly enjoyed it.

It is great that you and your husband are able to discuss this and that you are open minded enough to explore/understand the lifestyle. I can only suggest that you keep talking and understand your own desires.

[tiedyeHotwife]

My first thought is to point out the endless variations of how to go about this. You can find your own, completely unique way to play this game.

The first choice is -
- do you want to fully live a HW lifestyle, as in - it can influence how you dress everyday, your everday interactions with men etc.
- or do you want to silo it into what I call "special circumstances Hotwifing". Basically allowing my alter-ego to engage and have fun, but my day to day is exactly as it was before.

On this site - you will get far more encouragement towards the "fully embrace" way of doing it as many women find it super empowering and many men here have strong cuckold fantasies and this way of playing hits on that for them.
But there is another path, and its how I go about it.

In all likelyhood, your husband loves the fantasy but MANY can't handle the reality. But even with that - there is a ton of fun things to play with. Its a progression. You get more comfortable with each step ONLY after taking those nervous steps.

My suggestion as a starting point ?
do you belong to a gym? If so, buy a super cleavagey outfit, wear it one day and send your husband a pic of you at the gym in that outfit.
Tell him lots of guys are hitting on you (even if they are not), and ask if it would be OK to go get coffee with one of them.
Enjoy flirting at the gym and enjoy hearing that "gulp" sound in your husbands voice. Its fun. No risk.
This little experiment will tell you a lot about how much "reality" your husband is ready for.

no gym?
try the - bar game.
Buy the sexiest outfit that you would ever dare to wear.
Some saturday night - get dressed, kiss him goodbye and walk out the door.
He won't let you out the door. Enjoy the hot sex for that small attempt!
the next week do it again - but tell him if he wants a hot wife - he's going to have to let you leave.
Go to a bar, flirt for an hour, dance a bit. Come home. (unbutton your shirt even more than when you left). enjoy the hot sex. your husband is going to go crazy for you.

See? simple. no major lines crossed. And you will both be learning new things together and seeing how far both of you want to push it.

Try some variations and tell us about it. Have FUN!!!

[philxxo]

I would say that tiedyehotwife has it all figured out. Listen to her. She knows what she is talking about for sure! Have fun. Oftentimes the high level of communication and open honesty that develops between husband and wife is reward enough.