budg282 wrote: āWed Jan 03, 2024 6:22 am
Your posts have a level of reflection and intention that, to me, goes against many of the common stereotypes about bulls. Please keep posting!
Thank you once again.
Sadly, the bar for bulls seems to be, ādonāt be an arrogant prickā and yet, most canāt seem to clear it. In the end, the bulls are guests in the marriages and are being given an incredible gift by the cucks. I donāt care how sexually capable you are, it doesnāt justify being rude or a jerk. Also, there is a massive difference between being naturally dominant and cocky.
āThese are jumbled thoughts, I know, but weāve still got a lot to figure out!ā Guess what? Youāre doing great. Youāve managed to admit your desires to her, she has been receptive, and it sounds like it has improved your sex lives. Thatās awesome. If you two never move beyond this fantasy stage, you can still be happy about this.
You two should only move forward if and when you are comfortable and ready to do so. Learn from others, but donāt feel pressured by others.
āI think we need to find the dynamic that gets us both excited.ā Thatās ultimately the most important thing. If you two do want to move beyond the fantasy stage, I would recommend discussing the more practical aspects of what playing would entail. Take the conversation out of the bedroom, pour yourselves some adult beverages, and talk about what you two do and donāt want. Donāt worry, those out-of-the-bedroom conversations will lead to lots of fun bedroom play afterward. But out-of-the-bedroom conversations will give them a level of seriousness that is hard to achieve when youāre also trying to get off
This is far from exhaustive, but a couple of topics to consider are the following. First, what traits (e.g., physical, sexual, personality) do you both find desirable in a partner (yes, you get a vote here too)? Would you prefer being with a friend or a stranger? Are you looking for something long-term or short-term? Where would the play occur? What would be your role? Would she be more comfortable having you there or playing alone? Most importantly, what are your redlines? What are the things neither of you will compromise on?
āOne thing is the level of attachment.ā Speaking of important topics, this is a great one. I just responded to a question about this on my bullās perspective thread.
In general, I think most women need at least some level of emotional attachment with any long-term partner. The most important thing though is that you never want those emotions to get out of control and come at the expense of the marriage. Your partner needs to clearly understand his role/place and only have good intentions towards your marriage.
āAnother question is my level of participation. . . as in would she play solo, would I be there and not participating, or would I be present in an MFM threesome?ā Again, a perfect discussion topic. A complimentary question is to ask your wife what would make her most comfortable, especially for those first sessions. Would having you watch make her feel safe and protected? Alternatively, would your presence be a distraction and make her more nervous than anything? Assuming that her playing solo is not one of your redlines, I would recommend going with whatever is most comfortable for her.
You want those first couple of sessions to be as comfortable and enjoyable as possible. If they go well, they will provide you with a chance to start exploring all the other aspects.
If and when you watch, pay attention to what feels ārightā to you. Maybe you canāt keep your hands off her and want to be a more active participant. On the other hand, no pun intended, you may find that active participation would distract you from watching her and seeing her pleasure (wait until you see her face the first time she cums with someone elseā¦).
āFor me personally, I am more drawn to celebrating her sexual freedom and empowerment.ā I laugh that weāre all a bunch of feminists. How else can you explain a bunch of men talking about how to please and support women? Thatās why I always come back to saying that if done right, this lifestyle offers the best of both worlds to the wives (don't worry, there's plenty of fun in it for us).
āNot into being submissive or humiliated.ā And thatās okay. A cuckold is simply a man whose wife sleeps with other men with his knowledge and support. Thatās it. It doesnāt necessitate dom/sub dynamics or any other kinks. Some of those tend to be correlated with cuckold desires, but they are not deterministic. In the end, do what feels right for you. Even if you do explore teasing or submission at some point, it should always be done with the intent of enjoyment and pleasure. It should never be abusive or cruel.
Thanks again and looking forward to hearing back from you!
I wasn't sure myself when I first arrived here years ago! 
if you or your want to read their stories/comments specifically