Our Hotwives

Hey all,
Wisconsin couple, M/63-F43. No children.
I've been discussing this with the wife for a while now and have gotten off to a few false starts. She's given me the green light to start contacting someone to take her on a date for a little "get to know each other" leading to possibly more dates and further adventures. She's done this a few times but then backs out after the heat has died down. She is convinced of my love and sincerity but lacks the confidence to go through with it.
She responds very well sexually whenever I bring it up and I believe she wants to do this, but her hang-ups get in the way.
Looking forward to interacting with this community.

Hello wannabe, my wife is as traditional and reserved as they come, well outside her comfort zone, but damn does she come alive when a guy she thinks is cute is flirting with her. We are M/58 and F/53, may I suggest that she picks out her lovers, after all she's the one that will be fucking them? If you really want this to happen in reality, it is a very slow process if done right. Talk to each other very openly, very honestly, and read until you can't read any longer. There are very good articles, books, forums, etc that my spidy senses tell me will answer most if not all of both your questions. Let me know if you need some suggestions as we are just diving back in after a 6-7 year unintentional hiatus, re-starting is proving to be just as slow as starting from scratch. We've been married 30 years, hotwife 2016-2018 and 2025-? How long have you been married?

newtonmenlo wrote: ↑

Tue Mar 11, 2025 12:42 pm

Hey all,
Wisconsin couple, M/63-F43. No children.
I've been discussing this with the wife for a while now and have gotten off to a few false starts. She's given me the green light to start contacting someone to take her on a date for a little "get to know each other" leading to possibly more dates and further adventures. She's done this a few times but then backs out after the heat has died down. She is convinced of my love and sincerity but lacks the confidence to go through with it.
She responds very well sexually whenever I bring it up and I believe she wants to do this, but her hang-ups get in the way.
Looking forward to interacting with this community.

What seems to be her hang-ups?

Deeperlove1369 wrote: ↑

Wed Mar 12, 2025 5:07 pm

Hello wannabe, my wife is as traditional and reserved as they come, well outside her comfort zone, but damn does she come alive when a guy she thinks is cute is flirting with her. We are M/58 and F/53, may I suggest that she picks out her lovers, after all she's the one that will be fucking them? If you really want this to happen in reality, it is a very slow process if done right. Talk to each other very openly, very honestly, and read until you can't read any longer. There are very good articles, books, forums, etc that my spidy senses tell me will answer most if not all of both your questions. Let me know if you need some suggestions as we are just diving back in after a 6-7 year unintentional hiatus, re-starting is proving to be just as slow as starting from scratch. We've been married 30 years, hotwife 2016-2018 and 2025-? How long have you been married?

Thanks for responding.
We've been together for over twenty years and believe me, I've been immersed in the internet resources about this for almost as long. I "came out" to her about this over ten years ago and it's been a long hard slog. She's shy, not outgoing at all and very, very reserved when she meets new people. We've read books together about this and viewed videos.
As far as her picking out potential men, she's put that in my lap. I'll do my best in the future to enlist her help if it ever gets to the "green light" staying on.

snoogaloo82 wrote: ↑

Wed Mar 12, 2025 8:09 pm

newtonmenlo wrote: ↑

Tue Mar 11, 2025 12:42 pm

Hey all,
Wisconsin couple, M/63-F43. No children.
I've been discussing this with the wife for a while now and have gotten off to a few false starts. She's given me the green light to start contacting someone to take her on a date for a little "get to know each other" leading to possibly more dates and further adventures. She's done this a few times but then backs out after the heat has died down. She is convinced of my love and sincerity but lacks the confidence to go through with it.
She responds very well sexually whenever I bring it up and I believe she wants to do this, but her hang-ups get in the way.
Looking forward to interacting with this community.

What seems to be her hang-ups?

Self-confidence seems to be the main one. No matter how much I compliment and fawn over her, she has the typical response of not believing me because she thinks I have to say those things.
She works in an extremely confidential field within a very large company and her success there has a lot to do with her discretion. Most of her co-workers are married men and she has drawn the line over not indulging in that. I believe that she's been flirted with, there's been one instance when I know a guy came on to her at work, but she didn't realize it until later when I explained it to her.
She's very shy and reserved. It takes a lot to get her out of her shell.

newtonmenlo wrote: ↑

Thu Mar 13, 2025 6:50 am

Deeperlove1369 wrote: ↑

Wed Mar 12, 2025 5:07 pm

Hello wannabe, my wife is as traditional and reserved as they come, well outside her comfort zone, but damn does she come alive when a guy she thinks is cute is flirting with her. We are M/58 and F/53, may I suggest that she picks out her lovers, after all she's the one that will be fucking them? If you really want this to happen in reality, it is a very slow process if done right. Talk to each other very openly, very honestly, and read until you can't read any longer. There are very good articles, books, forums, etc that my spidy senses tell me will answer most if not all of both your questions. Let me know if you need some suggestions as we are just diving back in after a 6-7 year unintentional hiatus, re-starting is proving to be just as slow as starting from scratch. We've been married 30 years, hotwife 2016-2018 and 2025-? How long have you been married?

Thanks for responding.
We've been together for over twenty years and believe me, I've been immersed in the internet resources about this for almost as long. I "came out" to her about this over ten years ago and it's been a long hard slog. She's shy, not outgoing at all and very, very reserved when she meets new people. We've read books together about this and viewed videos.
As far as her picking out potential men, she's put that in my lap. I'll do my best in the future to enlist her help if it ever gets to the "green light" staying on.

Our wives are quite similar. She has never met a guy online as her former FWBs were guys she knew through work already, so like you, she has put the daunting task of finding good guys amongst the fakes, freaks, and creeps that troll lifestyle dating apps. I chat with SMs and couples and when I find a potential match, I show her their profiles and our conversations and she says maybe or no to each of them (not had a firm yes since we started our way back 3 months ago). She does have a consistent KiK conversation with one guy and has been on 2 non-sex dates with him, but it's not going any further than that as she likes him but not really that attracted to him. No doubt if she was more attracted to him physically, she would have already been fucking him, so it's all about finding the right men.

As armyguy said, when you have a girlfriend/boyfriend already, everybody wants to date you whereas if you are single, finding somebody to date isn't that easy. Just like finding a job is easy when you already have one, not so easy when you are unemployed, the same goes for a Hotwife. When my D already has an FWB, seems like everybody wants some; so once she is out of the starting gate, you'll be off to the races.

Yeah, she puts up all sorts of roadblocks when it comes to who she wants to date. No married men, (this is a hard no) won't be specific when she talks about the guys that she's attracted to, tells me the first time around should be with a white guy, even though whenever we play the game of pointing out guys in public that she's attracted to, she has pointed out black guys the majority of times. She uses the description of "sexy" when I ask her why she likes them. (An adjective I've never heard her use for a white guy) The list goes on.
Before I broached the hot wife topic to her, she had a guy she worked with that seemed to pay a lot of attention to her. They talked, he offered her rides and favors and complained about his wife to her. I sensed that he was trying to set her up for a little extramarital business, but he left the company shortly after. When I explained that the guy was trying to get her to feel sorry for him, with the intention of hooking up, she took it as quite the shock. "But he seemed like such a nice guy". So yeah, she, like many other people, has a hard time identifying when someone is flirting with/ hitting on them.

Hello, I'm also from Wisconsin!

Strack4 wrote: ↑

Wed Mar 26, 2025 3:05 am

Hello, I'm also from Wisconsin!

Welcome aboard! Are you close to Milwaukee?

Strack4 wrote: ↑

Wed Mar 26, 2025 3:05 am

Hello, I'm also from Wisconsin!

Welcome aboard! Are you close to Milwaukee?

Hi & thanks! I'm just east of Madison and I travel well, so I'd say yes, I'm close to Milwaukee. Are you in Milwaukee?

Strack4 wrote: ↑

Thu Mar 27, 2025 1:26 pm

Hi & thanks! I'm just east of Madison and I travel well, so I'd say yes, I'm close to Milwaukee. Are you in Milwaukee?

Yes, I'm in Milwaukee. PM me if you can and we can talk about what we're/you're looking for.

PM sent!