So, i am married with my Wife for around 10 years. She is naturally bossy and dominant and i as a kinky person in love with Her have developed a submission and servitude fetish. She however is naturally bossy but not into fetishes. i also have been fantasizing about being cuckolded by my Wife for some past years. Though i never pushed this idea to my wife. However, i had sometimes playfully suggested that i have no objections of Her having a lover in cases when She teased me with idea that if i will not follow Her lead or orders then She might find an obedient lover. She always reacted with silence and blushing to my answer. Although being bossy, dominant and liking to slap, kick or punch me when dissatisfied or angry, She at the same time is a good girl type and she is shy, and sometimes lacks self esteem.
One day about a month or two ago my Wife comes home all cheerful. At one moment She can't hold it anymore and says that She has bumped by accident into Her school time classmate and they ate lunch and She has finally had someone to talk to during work, as She does not like Her colleagues. i instantly noticed what is happening and told Her that i'm so happy with Her having someone to talk to during work.
After a while She brought me and kids during weekend to a new restaurant and told that She has been going there during work and She loves it. The place was located not far from my work, so i suggested that i can come during work to eat with Her. She ignored my suggestion as if She had not heard it. i instantly got suspicion that this is the place where She eats with Her classmate from school years.
Then one day She was angry with me for something and during outlash She told that She could be with someone else and i should value that She is putting up with me. As you might notice She is not good at keeping secrets or keeping Her emotions and thoughts to Herself.
She has been very jealous person from the day one. She has been occasionally taking my phone out of my hands and do a random search whether i am not writing any sort of messages to some other woman as it is prohibited. But recently She started non stop asking what i was doing so long upstairs, why i came late from work. And even more suspicious was Her starting constant remarks on how being faithful is important in our marriage. Which again made me suspicious.
She also started putting Her phone face down all the time and not letting it go out of Her sight. Then i recently got a chance to study Her phone while She was sleeping which i had never done before. And with no surprise, i found that She is scheduling lunch at Her work breaks with this guy. Specifically at the restaurant where She brought me and the kids. At one point She is writing that the lunch is too short for Her and She cannot relax as She is thinking about work during lunch, and She wants to spend more time with him. He then suggests going for a tea at evening. My Wife then backs down that evenings are hard for Her. She asks where he lives. She founds out that the place he lives is far away from our home but She goes at late nights to visit Her uncle who lives near his place sometimes.
After reading this I came to Her and said that i have not been doing sports for past months due to being absent at my new work all the time. And i am planning to spend one or two evening during week at the gym. Normally She would have objected instantly of this thought of me not being home immediately after work. However now She started joking and did not object the idea any way.
This night i was not able to sleep as thoughts rushed through my head and i felt strong emotions that i cannot describe. Mostly enormous excitement, sexual arousal, and some doubt and fear. At one point my Wife started moving in her sleep, i saw She was smiling during the sleep, then She pulled blanket over Her head (which i had never seen Her do) and started stroking one of Her hands up and down with the fingertips of the other hand and stopped after a while and pulled the blanket off Her face.
In the morning she came to me and hugged me and looked at me in silence. I saw Her eyes getting red. I hugged Her and cheered her up with some jokes. i asked Her how did she sleep, and she said that she had horrible dreams. i was supper nice to Her today and tried to make Her as happy as possible, told Her how beautiful She is and how i will always love Her and we made love and She was incredible. Latter that day we met a man who we both we knew. This man was walking with a beautiful woman who was not his wife. We greeted him and he explained in a hurry that he is going to visit a museum with his colleague. After walking past them my Wife to my surprise started shaming this man for spending time with another woman. I still quite do not understand how this double morale works for Her.
i do not have any anger. i have some little bit of jealousy mostly because the boyfriend is more successful than i am. A little fear as i know that if She cannot contain Her emotions that this might ruin our marriage, however i do not think the guy has serious intentions. Then again when he breaks up, She might be emotionally very vulnerable.
i am not sure how to proceed. i never really pushed her to do this. Although I encouraged her, I never explicitly said I want her to do this. But in reality i want them to keep on going. This brings incredible excitement to both of us. Probably i will not tell Her at least for a year (or not tell at all depending on situation) that i know of the affair and see how it goes. i would appreciate some thoughts and experience by others. How would you react and what could come next. Thank you all!
My fantasy became true and I did not have to do anything
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Randytaylor
- Prepubescent
- Posts: 11
- Joined: Tue Mar 18, 2025 5:15 am
Re: My fantasy became true and I did not have to do anything
Alright, here is the thing. You are already deep in this, and the only reason you feel stuck is because you are half in, half out. You are letting things happen, but you are not really owning it. You encouraged this, you fantasized about it, and now that it is real, you are scared of what comes next. That is the real issue—uncertainty.
Most important of all, she doesn't know about your fetish, you have to open up.
The best way forward is honesty. Not just with her, but with yourself. Do you really want this? Not just the fantasy, but the reality of her having real feelings for another man, of her possibly wanting more than just the thrill? Because right now, she is confused too. She is guilty, she is emotional, she is still trying to justify it to herself. She is not in control of her own feelings, and that is dangerous because if she keeps going like this, she might either break under the guilt or go all in and fall for the guy.
So what do you do? You talk to her. Not in an accusing way, not in a controlling way, but in a way that opens things up. Tell her you have always wanted her to feel free to explore, that you see what is happening, and that you are not mad. Tell her you want her to be honest with you, that you want to share this with her rather than being on the outside guessing.
This does two things. First, it takes away the secrecy, which right now is what is messing with both of you. She is feeling guilty because she thinks she is betraying you, and you are feeling uncertain because you do not know where this is leading. Second, it keeps you in the picture. If you let her keep going like this without talking, she might start seeing you as the safe, boring, predictable husband while this other guy is the exciting escape. If you bring it into the open, you become part of the excitement, not just the guy waiting at home.
The risk? She might freak out at first. She might deny it, she might get defensive, she might feel exposed. But if you approach it with calmness and confidence, without acting hurt or weak, she will see that you are serious. And if this is really something that excites both of you, it could bring you closer instead of pulling you apart.
Bottom line—stop sneaking around, stop playing detective, stop sitting in silence while your mind runs in circles. Be honest. Own it. See where it leads together.
That's what I would do.
Most important of all, she doesn't know about your fetish, you have to open up.
The best way forward is honesty. Not just with her, but with yourself. Do you really want this? Not just the fantasy, but the reality of her having real feelings for another man, of her possibly wanting more than just the thrill? Because right now, she is confused too. She is guilty, she is emotional, she is still trying to justify it to herself. She is not in control of her own feelings, and that is dangerous because if she keeps going like this, she might either break under the guilt or go all in and fall for the guy.
So what do you do? You talk to her. Not in an accusing way, not in a controlling way, but in a way that opens things up. Tell her you have always wanted her to feel free to explore, that you see what is happening, and that you are not mad. Tell her you want her to be honest with you, that you want to share this with her rather than being on the outside guessing.
This does two things. First, it takes away the secrecy, which right now is what is messing with both of you. She is feeling guilty because she thinks she is betraying you, and you are feeling uncertain because you do not know where this is leading. Second, it keeps you in the picture. If you let her keep going like this without talking, she might start seeing you as the safe, boring, predictable husband while this other guy is the exciting escape. If you bring it into the open, you become part of the excitement, not just the guy waiting at home.
The risk? She might freak out at first. She might deny it, she might get defensive, she might feel exposed. But if you approach it with calmness and confidence, without acting hurt or weak, she will see that you are serious. And if this is really something that excites both of you, it could bring you closer instead of pulling you apart.
Bottom line—stop sneaking around, stop playing detective, stop sitting in silence while your mind runs in circles. Be honest. Own it. See where it leads together.
That's what I would do.
Re: My fantasy became true and I did not have to do anything
Yes l, you're probably right. Just this secrecy bring so much excitement to me. But probably it is dumb and immature. I also thought of maybe I could just simply tell Her that I have no objections if She explores Herself with other guys as long as She comes back home to family where I will wait with no judgement. Then let Her decide if She shares the honesty or not. But I just want to wait a little while, to see how this progress. Just out of childish thrill.
Today I did this another childish thing. We were at home remote working in separate rooms. I sent her joke message "where will we go for lunch today" similar the way her male friend did. She came to me with nervous smile all blushed red and asked what did I mean. I said that it is time for dinner and we should order something and she hugged me and pressed her face against my neck, I could feel her heart pulounding like drum.
And somehow this all has made us more close and more open. We spend hours discussing intimate things about our life this evening. At one point She even revealed that some friend told her this and that. From the messages I had read it was clear who this friend was. So she still is truly convinced that I do not know a thing.
Stupid, childish. But I am afraid that coming open will end this thrill, that feels like high.
Today I did this another childish thing. We were at home remote working in separate rooms. I sent her joke message "where will we go for lunch today" similar the way her male friend did. She came to me with nervous smile all blushed red and asked what did I mean. I said that it is time for dinner and we should order something and she hugged me and pressed her face against my neck, I could feel her heart pulounding like drum.
And somehow this all has made us more close and more open. We spend hours discussing intimate things about our life this evening. At one point She even revealed that some friend told her this and that. From the messages I had read it was clear who this friend was. So she still is truly convinced that I do not know a thing.
Stupid, childish. But I am afraid that coming open will end this thrill, that feels like high.
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Restarting
- Experienced
- Posts: 104
- Joined: Tue Dec 12, 2023 6:43 pm
- Location: Austin Texas
Re: My fantasy became true and I did not have to do anything
Hi SubK9.
I've read your posts and believe you have the potential to take your relationship with your wife to a new level.
Notice I said your relationship with your wife. That's more important than some hookup thrill you may be imagining.
I'm inferring you believe your wife won't let her experience continue if you know about it. Shouldn't she be able to share with you the experiences she is enjoying?
Your wife has to trust you are OK with her exploration to be comfortable without secrecy. There is a difference between sharing an experience versus her living a second, separate life.
Obviously, your wife makes her own decisions. Please, please, do not encourage dishonesty. Your vision builds on a foundation of deceit. Deceit creates unnecessary burdens and can stress a marriage.
Experience has taught me that communication and understanding lead to unbreakable trust, allowing everything else to flow beautifully. I thought I knew everything about my wife after decades of marriage until I actually asked questions and listened closely to her response. After years of assumptions, it was my responsibility to avoid any negative reaction and listen, allowing her to trust me enough to answer fully and honestly, without fear.
Steven Covey's 7 Habit of Highly Successful People teaches: "Seek first to understand, then to be understood."
When you wonder anything about your wife, ask her. It's really that simple if mutual trust is fully in place. If it's not, you both would be well served to slow down and focus on that first.
Without a solid foundation, any relationship can fall off a cliff (for any number of reasons, not necessarily sexual in nature). But when your relationship is built on real trust, you can both achieve unimaginable closeness and joy.
I hope the best for both of you.
I've read your posts and believe you have the potential to take your relationship with your wife to a new level.
Notice I said your relationship with your wife. That's more important than some hookup thrill you may be imagining.
I was guilty of becoming impatient and pushy with my wife rather than letting things happen naturally at my wife's pace. In my case, maximizing my wife's happiness is most satisfying to me. But being pushy doesn't accomplish that.i am not sure how to proceed. i never really pushed her to do this. Although I encouraged her, I never explicitly said I want her to do this. But in reality i want them to keep on going.
I understand your excitement. Take it from me (and my wife), it happens without sneakiness and dishonesty, too.This brings incredible excitement to both of us. Probably i will not tell Her at least for a year (or not tell at all depending on situation) that i know of the affair and see how it goes.
I'm inferring you believe your wife won't let her experience continue if you know about it. Shouldn't she be able to share with you the experiences she is enjoying?
Your wife has to trust you are OK with her exploration to be comfortable without secrecy. There is a difference between sharing an experience versus her living a second, separate life.
Obviously, your wife makes her own decisions. Please, please, do not encourage dishonesty. Your vision builds on a foundation of deceit. Deceit creates unnecessary burdens and can stress a marriage.
Experience has taught me that communication and understanding lead to unbreakable trust, allowing everything else to flow beautifully. I thought I knew everything about my wife after decades of marriage until I actually asked questions and listened closely to her response. After years of assumptions, it was my responsibility to avoid any negative reaction and listen, allowing her to trust me enough to answer fully and honestly, without fear.
Steven Covey's 7 Habit of Highly Successful People teaches: "Seek first to understand, then to be understood."
When you wonder anything about your wife, ask her. It's really that simple if mutual trust is fully in place. If it's not, you both would be well served to slow down and focus on that first.
Without a solid foundation, any relationship can fall off a cliff (for any number of reasons, not necessarily sexual in nature). But when your relationship is built on real trust, you can both achieve unimaginable closeness and joy.
I hope the best for both of you.
I'm T, Mkindling's husband.
Our story: viewtopic.php?f=47&t=71892
Our story: viewtopic.php?f=47&t=71892
Re: My fantasy became true and I did not have to do anything
Yes I agree with you. Last week She probably had I gut feeling that I already know about Her meeting this guy, so She just came completely open and told me about meeting this guy how cool he is. She says the guy is like a male version of Herself. She told me that he is married and even said we should meet, which I agreed on. She at least in words told that She likes having male friends over women, because She enjoys talking to men more.Restarting wrote: ↑Sun Mar 30, 2025 11:22 amWhen you wonder anything about your wife, ask her. It's really that simple if mutual trust is fully in place. If it's not, you both would be well served to slow down and focus on that first.
We have now becoming more close ourselves, we share our feelings and our own connection has deepened. We discussed polyandry and She was very supportive of such marriage setting with having multiple husbands. I also explained that I would not trust myself to meet other women, but I fully trust her meeting other men because Women control themselves better than men. She was fascinated about this remark.
So truly there was no need for the secrecy. Although I could not have known that She would react with such easy mind to the situation. Now it is my work to communicate and reassure that I am supportive of Her actions.
I guess She will be meeting him again this week. Last week they met only once.
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Restarting
- Experienced
- Posts: 104
- Joined: Tue Dec 12, 2023 6:43 pm
- Location: Austin Texas
Re: My fantasy became true and I did not have to do anything
Do they really? I have my doubts. Seems your wife might question that, too. How did she express her fascination?because Women control themselves better than men. She was fascinated about this remark.
Keep the communication going and please keep us posted as your journey unfolds!
I'm T, Mkindling's husband.
Our story: viewtopic.php?f=47&t=71892
Our story: viewtopic.php?f=47&t=71892
Re: My fantasy became true and I did not have to do anything
Dear SubK9
I just found this thread.
Thank you for sharing.
It seems to me that you and your Wife are both perfectly suited for a Cuckoldress/Cuck kind of relationship.
In particular, your Wife clearly needs to be in control and it is probably going to be important for Her that even if She is allowed to take in lovers, you will only focus on Her.
Have you talked to Her about moving to a more formal Female Led Relationship; these come in everything from very mild versions to more stringent version, but the basic idea is the same for all: The purpose of the relationship is to focus on the needs and happiness of the Female. The Female have final say in all decisions and the male will always do his utmost to please his Wife.
Sincerely
elina
I just found this thread.
Thank you for sharing.
It seems to me that you and your Wife are both perfectly suited for a Cuckoldress/Cuck kind of relationship.
In particular, your Wife clearly needs to be in control and it is probably going to be important for Her that even if She is allowed to take in lovers, you will only focus on Her.
Have you talked to Her about moving to a more formal Female Led Relationship; these come in everything from very mild versions to more stringent version, but the basic idea is the same for all: The purpose of the relationship is to focus on the needs and happiness of the Female. The Female have final say in all decisions and the male will always do his utmost to please his Wife.
Sincerely
elina
Re: My fantasy became true and I did not have to do anything
No, actually i think Women are generally as likely as men to have affairs and actually i think women more often create long affairs with the same lover whom they meet on regular basis. men, however, may have simple one night stands at party but not starting an affair afterwards.Restarting wrote: ↑Tue Apr 08, 2025 2:21 pmDo they really? I have my doubts. Seems your wife might question that, too. How did she express her fascination?
However i wanted my Wife to think that i trust Her to meet woth other men and that i have no doubts abot Her, so that She would feel safe and confident that i have no suspicion over Her.
She started smiling when i told this, and startsd asking many questions. i told Her that men can get errections during simple conversations at work with Women, and men often have sexual fantasies in their head during the day, for example when walking from work or sitting at desk in work. She was surprised to know this. She herself needs a good mood and calm atmosphere to get sexually going, and getting aroused for Her happens gradually and takes time. So she was fascinated that men can have almost spontaneous erections and can get ready to have sex almost instantly.
Re: My fantasy became true and I did not have to do anything
Yes, i have. When we just met i started developing servitude fetish towards Her. Probably it's because She was bossing me out and i was very attracted towards Her and She also used sex to command me as She only had sex with me if i had been obedient to Her during the day and did everything that She asked for. So probably servitude and sexual arousal got linked in my brain as i did not have constant and strong urges to serve and submit until i started living with her. Although i have been fetishist since early childhood (5 years old at least) and i constantly was aroused by differen sexualised non sexual situations like doctor visits but also many other things, but i was never focused on certain type of fantasy as submission became after starting living with Her.
So i started reading about submission and soon i found out about Female led relationship. i bought a book by Georgia Ivey Green Taking Back Your Marriage: How To Get Your husband to Fall in Love with You (Again). She read most part of it and was fascinated by many things there. However she was not interested in making some formal relationship. Nevertheless our marriage is Female led 100%, She's the complete Boss.
We had many hard spots in our marriage, but this friendship of Hers has had magnificent impact. We have become so close. Probably the sperm competition theory is true as i've become so submissive and focused to Her as never before and She really enjoys it. She asked why have i become so good. I told its because i stopped masturbating and decided its wrong and focus on Her instead, so She ordered me to stop doing it at all and that from now on She will allow me to have release of sperm only rarely when She wants to be penetrated. Other times sex will end when She has orgasm. We had discussed this dynamic before already and She knew that denying keeps me submissive, the problem was that i could masturbate without Her. She some months ago had come home with a car that linked to my phone via bluetooth whyle i was watching porn, and She heard in Her car that i watch porn and we had an argument about it. So this all came together and we have no a dynamic where She controls my release and She agrees that it is a good solution for our marriage. I had some years ago shown Her chastity cage, but She thinks it is gross.
However I have not found any texting with Her boyfriend for about a week, but She has left the home or dissapeared a few times without any explanation. So either She still does not trust me and has become mor secretive or She has ended the affair.
Re: My fantasy became true and I did not have to do anything
So things have progressed.
I had a discussion a time ago about him with my wife, where she revealed a lot of what they are talking about. I presumed that She knows that I know his name, but it appeared later that She on purpose had not told me his name.
One Saturday a couple of weeks ago I and my wife went out and she drunk two cocktails and got completely wasted (she rarely drinks). She started telling everyone how submissive and ascetic I am "in many ways", and laughing out loud (we agreed that I stop masturbating and focus only on her pleasure). Then we went to my brothers place where he lives with his girlfriend.
We talked and my brothers girlfriend told which school she went to. I asked her of she knew one colleague of mine that went to the same school and she knew. And then suddenly my wife asked if she knew a guy and said her boyfriends name who was learning at the same school as my colleague and my brothers Girlfriend (it appears it was not true that my wife knew this guy from her school which she later confirmed). The fun fact is that we had discussed her boyfriend in detail, but I had not paid attention to the fact that she had never revealed his name, so she thought I did not know that she asks about her boyfriend. I had secretly found out the name of this guy and I did not tell her that I know his name.
My brothers girlfriend said that this guy is arrogant and my wife jumped to defend him, and said that he was actually really nice. She repeated multiple times that she has not met him for years, that this guy is her childhood friend and she knows nothing about what he is doing now. All was of course untrue.
Some days later my we made personality tests for fun about each other and I did not check faithfulness as my main characteristic (I basically just overlooked it), and my wife got furious. But I explained her that I did not pay attention to it as it is natural for me and I do not think about it as characteristic and that for me it is not that important towards her, as I would not get angry or care if she liked also someone else as long as she would be loving towards me. She was surprised and I spent some time explaining that I do not feel any need towards having any intimate relationship apart from her but at the same time I am not jealous and do not care if she developed feelings towards someone else as long as she loved also me. She smiled an hugged me.
Some week ago I had checked that she studies opera repertoire at least once a week. I offered her to go to opera with me and she avoided to answer. I then asked if she loved me, but she said that she does not know. I got upset. I discussed this with her. She said she was angry at me for some small thing I had done and therefore she didn't want to say that she loved me as she was angry with me. She said that opera has nothing to offer at this point and therefore she does not want to go and we should save money rather than spend it on weak performances that they have now at Opera.
I then asked her about her boyfriend, how is he named etc. She started stressfully laughing when I asked these questions. She asked me if I had anything against them meeting, I said that I cannot object her meeting anyone. She was very defensive of him. I asked who was she talking about two months ago when during an argument she said that "She has a chance to be with someone else". She refused to answer in the beginning. And she also refused to tell his name when I asked. She asked me what I am going to do to him. But she told his name (which I already knew) after I said that I just want to know. We then had a very warm conversation about our feelings and we had Sex for multiple days in a row. She started masturbating during our lovemaking asking me to watch. I watched but I also could not stop me from licking her nipples. She had never masturbated during our intimacy. After she was finished she asked me to tell what I crave to do to her, and she asked me to F her. She also had bought lace catsuit witch empty spot for her Yoni. So we had great sex. One day we had sex twice. We had not had so much sex for years. I thanked her all the time and bought her flowers every day.
However a couple of days ago I check her browsing history on her computer. She has Mazzy Star - Fade Into You, Chris Isaak - Wicked Game and Macy Gray - I Can't Wait to Meetchu on the day I know She last met her boyfriend a month ago (longer browsing history not available). The same songs also also that day. I decided to sneak Her phone, when I open it there is a messaging with her lover opened. All the messages have obviously been deleted as there is a single message stating: "Hmm yes, maybe I should once go. As they say: to look in the eyes of the devil. To get to know him. Otherwise I only have an opinion. Then I will have also an experience."
So feeling of being neglected crept in my heart. She also did not want to have sex for last couple of days, and I asked her if it is because she thinks of her friend, I asked about the message I had seen. At first She got stressed out that I will not allow her to meet her boyfriend. I calmed her down. She told that she misses their conversations, she had spent a lot of time with him in her childhood at summers, they shared a lot of past and it is so easy to speak with him and she basically is desperate to have those conversations. She had offered him to go to an art exposition, which she found would be a good thing to do with "just a friend". He did not like the owner of the exposition who was also owner of gambling houses. And apparently it was his message to her about looking in the eyes of the devil regarding going to this art exposition. I had not checked who had sent the message, but I never would have imagined a man would write such an emotional thing. I told her it is fine if they go but she hast to show care for me as well. She told me that I have nothing to worry about because she thinks cheating is a sin and her friend is married. Which makes little sense as she also had told me that he himself had said that men and Women cannot be "just friends". She also admitted to have strong feelings for him and that he was obviously crazy for her. Which looked to me a bit odd coupled together with her statements that cheating is a disgusting thing and a great sin. We ended the conversation in a nice and understanding manner I apologized for my accusations and told that I'm such a fool. We had a nice walk went to a restaurant, then a cafe and watched movie and it was a great day.
She is crazy in love for sure. The fun part about her is that she truly cares for the talking more than for sex, she really loves time spent walking and talking more than sex. She is basically cheating on me getting everything she craves (his attention, listening agreeing with everything she says and gratifying her) but she just does not need sex with him and therefore she considers this not to be a cheating. Then it all made sense why she chose to marry me not this soft guy. She apparently was dating him at the time when we were dating, he had carved a heart from stone and carved their initial letters in it. She thought that it was funny to throw this stone in nearby lake and dump him. All her other boyfriends also were emotional and soft nice guys. I however was also a nice guy but I also teased and harassed her and I also was doing sports and being a macho and rough. So she loved my vulnerable side but also my rough side, which at that time resembled her crazy father a lot. Those guys however were clearly too soft for her character. She actually appears to have had many guys spending time with her when we were dating and she had dumped them all and later felt very sad about having to spend time with a single guy (me). She basically used them for her gratification but did not see men in the other guys. She is dominating and aggressive in everyday life but when really horny she becomes sexually submissive. So she needs a submissive man for her everyday gratification of her aggressive and dominating nature, but she also craves the rough side in men for physical intimacy. At least these are my conclusions.
And (lets call him "Mark" which would be transliteration into English) she also said that she feels bad that I was lashing out at the "innocent and poor nice Mark". So I think being so defensive also tells quite a bit about how strong her feelings are. She is also in the same way so defensive when talking about me to others. It feels as if she has this feeling of love when she protects the "boys she own". So even though she does not have sex with him it is a 100% love triangle. She basically considers that she "owns" him already.
So I've found myself in a very interesting situation. However in my consideration all that has come from this is a good thing. I've lost 5kg due to stress about all of this, I've been doing a lot of sports to calm my mind, and I am having really intense and interesting period in my life, and the relationship with my Wife is having a new spark and we have become much more closer and open about our feelings. The only downside I would say is big problems in focusing on my job, but from experience I will overcome it in a month or two.
I had a discussion a time ago about him with my wife, where she revealed a lot of what they are talking about. I presumed that She knows that I know his name, but it appeared later that She on purpose had not told me his name.
One Saturday a couple of weeks ago I and my wife went out and she drunk two cocktails and got completely wasted (she rarely drinks). She started telling everyone how submissive and ascetic I am "in many ways", and laughing out loud (we agreed that I stop masturbating and focus only on her pleasure). Then we went to my brothers place where he lives with his girlfriend.
We talked and my brothers girlfriend told which school she went to. I asked her of she knew one colleague of mine that went to the same school and she knew. And then suddenly my wife asked if she knew a guy and said her boyfriends name who was learning at the same school as my colleague and my brothers Girlfriend (it appears it was not true that my wife knew this guy from her school which she later confirmed). The fun fact is that we had discussed her boyfriend in detail, but I had not paid attention to the fact that she had never revealed his name, so she thought I did not know that she asks about her boyfriend. I had secretly found out the name of this guy and I did not tell her that I know his name.
My brothers girlfriend said that this guy is arrogant and my wife jumped to defend him, and said that he was actually really nice. She repeated multiple times that she has not met him for years, that this guy is her childhood friend and she knows nothing about what he is doing now. All was of course untrue.
Some days later my we made personality tests for fun about each other and I did not check faithfulness as my main characteristic (I basically just overlooked it), and my wife got furious. But I explained her that I did not pay attention to it as it is natural for me and I do not think about it as characteristic and that for me it is not that important towards her, as I would not get angry or care if she liked also someone else as long as she would be loving towards me. She was surprised and I spent some time explaining that I do not feel any need towards having any intimate relationship apart from her but at the same time I am not jealous and do not care if she developed feelings towards someone else as long as she loved also me. She smiled an hugged me.
Some week ago I had checked that she studies opera repertoire at least once a week. I offered her to go to opera with me and she avoided to answer. I then asked if she loved me, but she said that she does not know. I got upset. I discussed this with her. She said she was angry at me for some small thing I had done and therefore she didn't want to say that she loved me as she was angry with me. She said that opera has nothing to offer at this point and therefore she does not want to go and we should save money rather than spend it on weak performances that they have now at Opera.
I then asked her about her boyfriend, how is he named etc. She started stressfully laughing when I asked these questions. She asked me if I had anything against them meeting, I said that I cannot object her meeting anyone. She was very defensive of him. I asked who was she talking about two months ago when during an argument she said that "She has a chance to be with someone else". She refused to answer in the beginning. And she also refused to tell his name when I asked. She asked me what I am going to do to him. But she told his name (which I already knew) after I said that I just want to know. We then had a very warm conversation about our feelings and we had Sex for multiple days in a row. She started masturbating during our lovemaking asking me to watch. I watched but I also could not stop me from licking her nipples. She had never masturbated during our intimacy. After she was finished she asked me to tell what I crave to do to her, and she asked me to F her. She also had bought lace catsuit witch empty spot for her Yoni. So we had great sex. One day we had sex twice. We had not had so much sex for years. I thanked her all the time and bought her flowers every day.
However a couple of days ago I check her browsing history on her computer. She has Mazzy Star - Fade Into You, Chris Isaak - Wicked Game and Macy Gray - I Can't Wait to Meetchu on the day I know She last met her boyfriend a month ago (longer browsing history not available). The same songs also also that day. I decided to sneak Her phone, when I open it there is a messaging with her lover opened. All the messages have obviously been deleted as there is a single message stating: "Hmm yes, maybe I should once go. As they say: to look in the eyes of the devil. To get to know him. Otherwise I only have an opinion. Then I will have also an experience."
So feeling of being neglected crept in my heart. She also did not want to have sex for last couple of days, and I asked her if it is because she thinks of her friend, I asked about the message I had seen. At first She got stressed out that I will not allow her to meet her boyfriend. I calmed her down. She told that she misses their conversations, she had spent a lot of time with him in her childhood at summers, they shared a lot of past and it is so easy to speak with him and she basically is desperate to have those conversations. She had offered him to go to an art exposition, which she found would be a good thing to do with "just a friend". He did not like the owner of the exposition who was also owner of gambling houses. And apparently it was his message to her about looking in the eyes of the devil regarding going to this art exposition. I had not checked who had sent the message, but I never would have imagined a man would write such an emotional thing. I told her it is fine if they go but she hast to show care for me as well. She told me that I have nothing to worry about because she thinks cheating is a sin and her friend is married. Which makes little sense as she also had told me that he himself had said that men and Women cannot be "just friends". She also admitted to have strong feelings for him and that he was obviously crazy for her. Which looked to me a bit odd coupled together with her statements that cheating is a disgusting thing and a great sin. We ended the conversation in a nice and understanding manner I apologized for my accusations and told that I'm such a fool. We had a nice walk went to a restaurant, then a cafe and watched movie and it was a great day.
She is crazy in love for sure. The fun part about her is that she truly cares for the talking more than for sex, she really loves time spent walking and talking more than sex. She is basically cheating on me getting everything she craves (his attention, listening agreeing with everything she says and gratifying her) but she just does not need sex with him and therefore she considers this not to be a cheating. Then it all made sense why she chose to marry me not this soft guy. She apparently was dating him at the time when we were dating, he had carved a heart from stone and carved their initial letters in it. She thought that it was funny to throw this stone in nearby lake and dump him. All her other boyfriends also were emotional and soft nice guys. I however was also a nice guy but I also teased and harassed her and I also was doing sports and being a macho and rough. So she loved my vulnerable side but also my rough side, which at that time resembled her crazy father a lot. Those guys however were clearly too soft for her character. She actually appears to have had many guys spending time with her when we were dating and she had dumped them all and later felt very sad about having to spend time with a single guy (me). She basically used them for her gratification but did not see men in the other guys. She is dominating and aggressive in everyday life but when really horny she becomes sexually submissive. So she needs a submissive man for her everyday gratification of her aggressive and dominating nature, but she also craves the rough side in men for physical intimacy. At least these are my conclusions.
And (lets call him "Mark" which would be transliteration into English) she also said that she feels bad that I was lashing out at the "innocent and poor nice Mark". So I think being so defensive also tells quite a bit about how strong her feelings are. She is also in the same way so defensive when talking about me to others. It feels as if she has this feeling of love when she protects the "boys she own". So even though she does not have sex with him it is a 100% love triangle. She basically considers that she "owns" him already.
So I've found myself in a very interesting situation. However in my consideration all that has come from this is a good thing. I've lost 5kg due to stress about all of this, I've been doing a lot of sports to calm my mind, and I am having really intense and interesting period in my life, and the relationship with my Wife is having a new spark and we have become much more closer and open about our feelings. The only downside I would say is big problems in focusing on my job, but from experience I will overcome it in a month or two.