Greetings from

[AdventurousCoupleAA]

Good evening, all! This is the husband writing. My wife and I are recently married with grown children. We have been discussing the hotwife lifestyle (stag/vixen type) and she is intrigued but understandably reticent about it. She is a lovely person, both inside and out, and she comes from a very traditional and conservative Asian culture. So, she is trying to wrap her mind around her husband’s interest in seeing her with other men and participating in mfm arrangements. I have had the opportunity to read many dozens of insightful comments here in the past couple of weeks and I want to express my thanks to all of you who have been kind enough to share your wisdom with us. I had experience with swinging more than 20 years ago in my first marriage, but I don’t recall seeing this website back then. In fact, I don’t recall the term “hotwife” back then either. Then again, maybe I am just becoming forgetful in my older age. :-). I will take the time to share our exploration, wherever it happens to lead - even if nowhere. Thanks again for all of you who take the time to express your thoughts about hotwifing. I will be sure to continue sharing those with my wife.

[Bogdan]

Welcome AdventurousCoupleAA, I wish you all the best in your advanture, don't be shy lots of good people here. Learn and share ;-)

[AdventurousCoupleAA]

Thanks for your kind and welcoming reply, Bogdan! I had a very nice lunch today with a true gentleman about my age who I met through the SLS website after he reached out to us. He is in a long term marriage which has been sexless (but otherwise good) for many years and has therefore found a sexual outlet with other couples like us, but not many. In fact, he has apparently not been with any other couples for more than 18 months. In any event, he has very positive reviews on the SLS website from four other couples over the past ten years. I have kept my wife apprised of my communications there, so she was aware of and (somewhat nervously) supportive of our lunch meeting today. The lunch meeting went very well well. My wife joined us during lunch by video call. He was a genuinely kind and authentic man, and very respectful. My wife and I will meet with him for lunch together next week. I don’t know if we will ever be anything more than platonic friends with him, but it was a positive development. We will see how this develops….

[Bogdan]

Thanks for your kind and welcoming reply, Bogdan! I had a very nice lunch today with a true gentleman about my age who I met through the SLS website after he reached out to us. He is in a long term marriage which has been sexless (but otherwise good) for many years and has therefore found a sexual outlet with other couples like us, but not many. In fact, he has apparently not been with any other couples for more than 18 months. In any event, he has very positive reviews on the SLS website from four other couples over the past ten years. I have kept my wife apprised of my communications there, so she was aware of and (somewhat nervously) supportive of our lunch meeting today. The lunch meeting went very well well. My wife joined us during lunch by video call. He was a genuinely kind and authentic man, and very respectful. My wife and I will meet with him for lunch together next week. I don’t know if we will ever be anything more than platonic friends with him, but it was a positive development. We will see how this develops….

Well that sounds promising, I'm curious how your luch date will go. Do they text each other?

[AdventurousCoupleAA]

They have not texted yet and that may be a while since my wife is still (diligently) learning the English language. I am hopeful that the lunch will make her even more comfortable with him and eventually lead to an mfm. I’ll post updates as they happen!

[Her number1]

Welcome, AdventurousCoupleAA.

[AdventurousCoupleAA]

Thanks Number1! I have enjoyed reading a number of your posts here. Thanks for sharing your insights with us.

[snoogaloo82]

Welcome to the site. It's good to hear that you've already gathered some information about the hotwife lifestyle. hotwife is a new term for me, too. i'm looking forward to you sharing ideas and thoughts on things!!
Rik

[AdventurousCoupleAA]

Thanks, Rik! I have read a number of HW background stories here where the wife often vacillates in the early going between excitement and reticence. My wife is no different in that way. Last night, we had sex while fantasizing about her being with me and the man we are meeting for lunch this coming week. She had two big orgasms in rapid succession right after we had that erotic talk. Then, this morning, as we had our coffee, we talked about how much fun last night was and I made another comment about bringing this other specific man into our bedroom, and my wife reminded me that as a Buddhist she would be violating one of the “Five Precepts,” specifically the one that prohibits “sexual misconduct.” We got into a little bit of a philosophical discussion about why in my view HW’ing is not “misconduct” as long as both partners are open and honest with each other and everything happens with true consent. Our philosophical discussion didn’t last long. It ended when she said she could not do this, and I said that I respected her opinion, that I understand, and that I love her more than anything. Fourteen hours later we were having sex again, talking about bringing this specific man we are meeting for lunch into our bedroom. Twice again, shortly after that discussion started, she orgasmed hard while saying, “I want that. I want that.” So, who knows? Post-nut clarity may resurrect the Five Precepts. Or, maybe not. At the very least, we are having fun talking about hotwifing. I’ll keep you posted…

[snoogaloo82]

It sounds like sexual misconduct is very open to interpretation. If it is okay with you AND your wife then how could it be sexual misconduct. And after all it's not like either of you are sneaking around. You are in a healthy place saying that she can have sex with other men. I think you should have more of a philosophical discussion or just leave that and next time you are going to have sex do the partner scenario. And then the second time actually sneak/bring your guy in with the provision that it may or may not happen and that he should be gentle with her. Just an idea to try.

[AdventurousCoupleAA]

Thanks again, Rik! I think we will just let nature take its course. The conversation we had yesterday about the Buddhist reference to sexual misconduct is part of her effort to reconcile her cultural background with the HW lifestyle. Candidly, if she feels as comfortable as I think she will feel with this other man when we have lunch in three days, that will help her see that there is no “misconduct” going on. At the end of the day, my wife needs to know that I love her and will keep her safe and protected - which I most certainly will. If she feels like the man I have been vetting meets my approval because he will also keep her safe, then it will be up to her to decide what she feels comfortable doing after that. If it is ultimately nothing, that is okay. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. On the other hand, if she feels comfortable enough taking things further with this man, then it will happen at her pace. My instincts tell me that she will want to take things further further. We shall see!

[snoogaloo82]

Thanks again, Rik! I think we will just let nature take its course. The conversation we had yesterday about the Buddhist reference to sexual misconduct is part of her effort to reconcile her cultural background with the HW lifestyle. Candidly, if she feels as comfortable as I think she will feel with this other man when we have lunch in three days, that will help her see that there is no “misconduct” going on. At the end of the day, my wife needs to know that I love her and will keep her safe and protected - which I most certainly will. If she feels like the man I have been vetting meets my approval because he will also keep her safe, then it will be up to her to decide what she feels comfortable doing after that. If it is ultimately nothing, that is okay. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. On the other hand, if she feels comfortable enough taking things further with this man, then it will happen at her pace. My instincts tell me that she will want to take things further further. We shall see!

Everything sounds perfect to me. Afterall her happiness is the main reason for doing everything for her! You're just offering her more options. I can't wait to hear about your adventures together!

[AdventurousCoupleAA]

Good evening! I am going to report on our lunch meeting today with our first potential threesome partner on the Wannabe board since it probably makes more sense to post it there. I look forward to your thoughts!

[Trevose]

Very intriguing. Welcome.

[AdventurousCoupleAA]

Thanks, Trevose!

[JeffCA]

AdventurousCoupleAA, you sound like a great husband. I am glad you are interested in having your wife join the lifestyle. I hope you are soon coaching other husbands of the benefits of hotwifing. Keep up the great work.

[AdventurousCoupleAA]

Thanks, Jeff! That is very kind of you to say. I had experience with the lifestyle with my former wife for several years more than 20 years ago. I learned a lot from that experience and I am very thankful that a great resource like this website exists to help all of us navigate this fascinating way of loving our spouses. I wish you the best with this. If recounting our experience helps anyone else, that is the least I can hope for since so many others have contributed so much here.