Hey there, from a Midwest USA curious wife

[beccaboo]

Hi, I'm new here, hubby has no idea I'm here. I want to learn more and maybe explore, but he is not on board yet.

[armyguyot1]

We are glad to have you. You are reversed from a lot of our couples. More often the man comes up with the idea and has to sell it to the wife. This should be interesting to help you the other way. Don't hold back, jump in and post and ask questions and just join us. Pretty friendly bunch. You might tell us a little more about you and your husband to give us an idea of where you are. A lot of us were jealous in younger years and grew out of it and into sharing later.

[Wantsomefunto]

Love to chat with you and help you understand and navigate what you desire

[Lucky Dog]

So what made you want to consider cuckolding your husband?

[Lucky Dog]

So what made you want to consider cuckolding your husband?

[beccaboo]

Love to chat with you and help you understand and navigate what you desire

Thank you! People seem very friendly and supportive here!

[beccaboo]

So what made you want to consider cuckolding your husband?

That's just it, I don't know if that is specifically what I want yet. I want to explore and I want and need more. I'm not sure yet how he will fit into all of this, whether its cuck or hotwife or something else.

[Fearlesspain]

Thanks for having the courage to post! That's really the first step.

I'm sure you've already read a ton of posts on OHW, but if there is a place to discover what lifestyle you're looking for it's here.

Would you mind telling us more about yourself?

What have you found here that you like? More importantly, what do you not like?

What kind of husband do you have? Is he more submissive? Do you think he'll like the idea or is he the jealous type?

When you say you "want and need more", what does that mean to you?

[beccaboo]

Thanks for having the courage to post! That's really the first step.

I'm sure you've already read a ton of posts on OHW, but if there is a place to discover what lifestyle you're looking for it's here.

Would you mind telling us more about yourself?

What have you found here that you like? More importantly, what do you not like?

What kind of husband do you have? Is he more submissive? Do you think he'll like the idea or is he the jealous type?

When you say you "want and need more", what does that mean to you?

We have 4 kids and our sex life has suffered. It is understandable, but it wasn't that great to start with. It's hard to find time, energy, or privacy, and I have put on a lot of weight. He is a bit insecure and the jealous type. He usually only likes a few positions and doesn't like eating me out.

I need more sex, cum, and orgasms. Masturbation is great but not the same, I need both. I'm open to trying anal, he has no interest in it. Too dirty and gross for him. I also would like to try going down on another woman. Something I haven't done since I was a kid.

[Fearlesspain]

Wow. You're in a tough spot Beccaboo.

Is it that he isn't attracted to you, or that he just doesn't have time?

We went through a busy slump and fell out of the groove and things got kinda bland. We ended up going to counseling and we were able to talk through some things and I was able to be honest about some things and we now have the best sex of our lives!

My wife tends to be the more dominant one and she also has a higher sex drive than I do. We lean into that kink and it's a wholelotta fun!

Are you more dominant than him or do you take on more of the traditional gender roles?

When it comes to your husband not wanting anal or to give you oral I have no advice. I love it when my wife sits on my face and grinds her way to her first O of the night before we get started. I'm also at a loss for the whole anal situation. My wife enjoys it. I'll never forget the first time my wife and I were sexually intimate. I guess I was going too slow for her taste, so she grabbed me by the cock and drug me across the room and bent herself over the couch and slide me between her cheeks and and proceeded to push back hard until the head popped in, then she slid all the way back on it until it completely disappeared and then she grabbed my hands and put them on her hips and had me fuck her wild. I told her I was getting close and she pushed back hard so I couldn't escape and she was able to collect her prize.

I hope one day you'll husband will come around on these things, but until he does could you explore plugs or anal toys. Would he enjoy a nice jewel plug as a surprise as you guided him to take you from behind?

Something else to consider would be to float the idea of a FFM threesome. That would get you option to go down on another woman and I can't imagine it wouldn't turn on your hubby. You could probably negotiate that he can't touch her but can watch and touch you. Then he's not getting the reward of fucking someone else when he isn't taking care of you and you're still getting the additional attention that you want. Is there a woman you have in mind or is it just a fantasy?

Also, do you watch porn? If so, does your husband know? Does he watch porn? Would he be turned on or put off if you do watch porn?

I would strongly encourage you not to cheat on your husband. I know you're hurting and unfulfilled. You've given up your body and your sleep and your time and your dreams for your family. But with 4 kids there's way too much at stake. This is a safe place to express frustrations and hopefully find ideas and solutions. We're here with you and hopefully you can have some fun on this journey as you work to restore the passion to your marriage!

[beccaboo]

Wow. You're in a tough spot Beccaboo.

Is it that he isn't attracted to you, or that he just doesn't have time?

We went through a busy slump and fell out of the groove and things got kinda bland. We ended up going to counseling and we were able to talk through some things and I was able to be honest about some things and we now have the best sex of our lives!

My wife tends to be the more dominant one and she also has a higher sex drive than I do. We lean into that kink and it's a wholelotta fun!

Are you more dominant than him or do you take on more of the traditional gender roles?

When it comes to your husband not wanting anal or to give you oral I have no advice. I love it when my wife sits on my face and grinds her way to her first O of the night before we get started. I'm also at a loss for the whole anal situation. My wife enjoys it. I'll never forget the first time my wife and I were sexually intimate. I guess I was going too slow for her taste, so she grabbed me by the cock and drug me across the room and bent herself over the couch and slide me between her cheeks and and proceeded to push back hard until the head popped in, then she slid all the way back on it until it completely disappeared and then she grabbed my hands and put them on her hips and had me fuck her wild. I told her I was getting close and she pushed back hard so I couldn't escape and she was able to collect her prize.

I hope one day you'll husband will come around on these things, but until he does could you explore plugs or anal toys. Would he enjoy a nice jewel plug as a surprise as you guided him to take you from behind?

Something else to consider would be to float the idea of a FFM threesome. That would get you option to go down on another woman and I can't imagine it wouldn't turn on your hubby. You could probably negotiate that he can't touch her but can watch and touch you. Then he's not getting the reward of fucking someone else when he isn't taking care of you and you're still getting the additional attention that you want. Is there a woman you have in mind or is it just a fantasy?

Also, do you watch porn? If so, does your husband know? Does he watch porn? Would he be turned on or put off if you do watch porn?

I would strongly encourage you not to cheat on your husband. I know you're hurting and unfulfilled. You've given up your body and your sleep and your time and your dreams for your family. But with 4 kids there's way too much at stake. This is a safe place to express frustrations and hopefully find ideas and solutions. We're here with you and hopefully you can have some fun on this journey as you work to restore the passion to your marriage!

Wow! Thank you so much for the insightful reply! I'll try to fill in some of the blanks.

He won't say it, but I don't think he is still attracted to me. He jerks off to porn and it's usually younger skinny girls. He also won't have sex unless either we are home alone (which is almost never), or he is really drunk, or both. And it's just hard to find the time when we have the energy for more thank a quickie.

I'm not very dominant. I don't think I would be an official sub, but I haven't tried, so who knows. However, he is not very dominant either, it could be a lack of confidence and he is self-conscious about his size. I think I'm more into the traditional roles, I would love to please confident men.

I have thought about starting with FFM. I know he does watch girl on girl porn. I watch porn sometimes, but usually it's just erotic stories for me. He doesn't like me to read or watch, he takes it personally.

I have been hanging out with and partying with one of our neighbors. She is divorced and having fun. She has told me that she has done 3somes, both ways, but usually when we talk about her hook ups, we stick to the men and what she did with them. So I'm not sure how much she has done with other women but I am definitely open to playing with her.

I don't want to cheat yet, but I really really want to experience more, and my clitty sometimes thinks too much for me when I'm drunk and or stoned. Unfortunately, I can't rule out cheating at some point.

[Wantsomefunto]

Sounds like you and the neighbor should find some fun together. Either eat her out or have a FMF with her and one of her fuck buddies. Ask hubby if he is ok with you trying another guy since he isn’t really into sex. Make it something regular for you, once a month or more often maybe. Does your neighbor say she has any hung guys who might be into fucking you?

[Rip_isback]

Hey Becca,
Welcome! You certainly have your challenges in front of you. With 4 children, how do you have time for anything? Hopefully you've got the issue of birth control finalized. I could only imagine your husband's reaction if you turned up pregnant after a play date.
What are you and hubby's age ranges and how far along are the kids?
I hope this works out for you both.
I look forward to your story as it evolves.

[Fearlesspain]

Beccaboo it seems like you're feeling hopeless, but don't give up!

It's really annoying that he can watch unrealistic porn with younger skinner girls that he has no chance with, but then turns around and get jealous of you reading erotic stories. I'm sorry you are having to deal with that. I imagine it hurts seeing him look at them and not take advantage of the woman that he has and could have whenever he wanted! Maybe use this as a way to turn it back on him. Does he not thing that you would also take it personal and be comparing yourself to women who haven't given birth to 4 of his children!?!?

He should stop watching porn. It would be one thing if you couldn't satisfy all of his needs, but he's blowing his load on a fantasy and blowing his marriage by failing to take care of you.

I'll tell you what worked for my wife and I.

1. The counseling was huge for us. Even if he won't go, it will be good for you and if you do get a divorce, you'll have a counselor who's already up to speed with everything and can help nurture you during that transition.

2. My wife started taking care of herself. She started eating right and exercising. She was VERY intentional with telling me that it wasn't for me and that it was for her. I loved the confidence that it built in her and it also caught my attention. Saying it wasn't for me meant she wasn't trying to impress me and it got me to thinking that she may be getting ready to leave me (this was pre-counseling and during).

3. I stopped looking at porn and made a commitment to her that she had total ownership over my orgasms. I wasn't meeting her needs because I was doing it myself and my selfishness left her feeling unwanted and unsatisfied. When I could only get my release from her I came begging to her like a little puppy. That being said, you said you're more the submissive type. He may be able to still play into this by taking the lead in wanting it from you if he can't get it anywhere else. You could call him out on it and tell him that maybe you wouldn't be so sexually unsatisfied if he'd stop yanking on himself and do his job as a man. You could even ask what his friends would think of him if they knew that he turned down sex almost every night and that he wasn't able to satisfy his wife and even worse, he doesn't try. Pride and the impact to it can motivate a man.

The neighbor sounds fun and could be, but if she's that close to home it could complicate the situation. I don't have any advice on this though. I'm just repeating the advice of others that I've seen who do.

Best of luck and I sincerely hope you two can make it work. Communication is the key!

[sana9889]

Nice to see you.
Hope you enjoy exploring.
Sounds like there is a lot you are missing

[Bogdan]

Welcome beccaboo, glad to have you onboard

[sandy691196]

Wow. You're in a tough spot Beccaboo.

Is it that he isn't attracted to you, or that he just doesn't have time?

We went through a busy slump and fell out of the groove and things got kinda bland. We ended up going to counseling and we were able to talk through some things and I was able to be honest about some things and we now have the best sex of our lives!

My wife tends to be the more dominant one and she also has a higher sex drive than I do. We lean into that kink and it's a wholelotta fun!

Are you more dominant than him or do you take on more of the traditional gender roles?

When it comes to your husband not wanting anal or to give you oral I have no advice. I love it when my wife sits on my face and grinds her way to her first O of the night before we get started. I'm also at a loss for the whole anal situation. My wife enjoys it. I'll never forget the first time my wife and I were sexually intimate. I guess I was going too slow for her taste, so she grabbed me by the cock and drug me across the room and bent herself over the couch and slide me between her cheeks and and proceeded to push back hard until the head popped in, then she slid all the way back on it until it completely disappeared and then she grabbed my hands and put them on her hips and had me fuck her wild. I told her I was getting close and she pushed back hard so I couldn't escape and she was able to collect her prize.

I hope one day you'll husband will come around on these things, but until he does could you explore plugs or anal toys. Would he enjoy a nice jewel plug as a surprise as you guided him to take you from behind?

Something else to consider would be to float the idea of a FFM threesome. That would get you option to go down on another woman and I can't imagine it wouldn't turn on your hubby. You could probably negotiate that he can't touch her but can watch and touch you. Then he's not getting the reward of fucking someone else when he isn't taking care of you and you're still getting the additional attention that you want. Is there a woman you have in mind or is it just a fantasy?

Also, do you watch porn? If so, does your husband know? Does he watch porn? Would he be turned on or put off if you do watch porn?

I would strongly encourage you not to cheat on your husband. I know you're hurting and unfulfilled. You've given up your body and your sleep and your time and your dreams for your family. But with 4 kids there's way too much at stake. This is a safe place to express frustrations and hopefully find ideas and solutions. We're here with you and hopefully you can have some fun on this journey as you work to restore the passion to your marriage!

Wow! Thank you so much for the insightful reply! I'll try to fill in some of the blanks.

He won't say it, but I don't think he is still attracted to me. He jerks off to porn and it's usually younger skinny girls. He also won't have sex unless either we are home alone (which is almost never), or he is really drunk, or both. And it's just hard to find the time when we have the energy for more thank a quickie.

I'm not very dominant. I don't think I would be an official sub, but I haven't tried, so who knows. However, he is not very dominant either, it could be a lack of confidence and he is self-conscious about his size. I think I'm more into the traditional roles, I would love to please confident men.

I have thought about starting with FFM. I know he does watch girl on girl porn. I watch porn sometimes, but usually it's just erotic stories for me. He doesn't like me to read or watch, he takes it personally.

I have been hanging out with and partying with one of our neighbors. She is divorced and having fun. She has told me that she has done 3somes, both ways, but usually when we talk about her hook ups, we stick to the men and what she did with them. So I'm not sure how much she has done with other women but I am definitely open to playing with her.

I don't want to cheat yet, but I really really want to experience more, and my clitty sometimes thinks too much for me when I'm drunk and or stoned. Unfortunately, I can't rule out cheating at some point.

A lot of hotwives have started out by cheating. It gives the lady confidence in her sexuality and allows her to experience just how much of it you actually need vs just liking the idea superficially.

Maybe you will fund out that the reality ain't no big deal. Or you may find out that it's so good you can't do without it.

Either way you can decide on the next step with much more certainty and clarity.

You are lucky in having an experienced wing-girl in your neighbour. She can certainly fix you up with your first FB- male/female..

If getting another woman to seduce your hubby is the viable path towards getting him into the LS.. that too can come out of your own liaisons arranged through your neighbor..

So many possibilities. Think it over..

Have fun.

[beccaboo]

Thank you to everyone!

I have started talking with my neighbor and she would love to help out. She has a few ideas for me, not sure how far I want to go yet. I don't like the idea of cheating, but momma has needs lol.

[Swanilla]

Hi Beccaboo! My wife and I have dabbled in the LS for a while.. we've done MFM, FMF, MFMF, MFMFMFM, solo dates, she had a boyfriend for a while, been to countless parties, clubs, Naughty in N’Awlins, Desire Pearle, Desire RM.. well, you get the idea. While not super active, we do like the social side.. and play when the stars align. That said, I would REALLY recommend having "the talk" with your husband. If he is the jealous type and not into this lifestyle, it will likely destroy your marriage to move forward if you are not together in this journey. If he is on-board, it *can* make it better, but it all starts with open communication.

I wouldn't just drop the bomb and say, "Hey honey, I'd like to fuck others!" LOL. Instead, you may want to turn up the heat a little and get out of your routine by taking a simple quiz at MojoUpgrade.com. It’s free and may help open communication. Also it can help you each discover what you are open to… and what you are not. It’s a great, safe, and free place to start.

Whatever happens, please update us in this thread – always nice to hear peoples stories… and if you’d like to ask ANY questions, please feel free to ask (publicly or privately)!

[Traveler22310]

Welcome to the lifestyle