New to Lifestyle: Conflicting Emotions
Posted: Sun Sep 21, 2025 6:55 am
We are a couple in our early 30's and are first generation Canadians although I came to Canada when I was 2 years old, she was 22. We have been married for four years.
When we got married, neither of us was sexually experienced. To make a long story short, she was seduced at work by a client from another city (we both work in finance). She broke down and told me about it. We grappled with the emotions but I was turned on by this. Particularly since he was able to give her orgasms and I cannot. We agreed she could sleep with him when he comes to Toronto. Always at his hotel. Honestly it didn't impact our lives except for a couple of days every couple of months.
But a couple of weeks ago I came home early from a conference. She has been taking tennis lessons and when I opened our condo door, it was pretty clear they were making out.
I left for an hour. Came back to lots of crying and some anger. She said she hasn't been with him before and I believe her. But she did admit she wanted him badly. She has felt that she isn't attractive, because she is thin and not shapely. She melts when a caucasian male flirts with her.
Over the last week, I keep replaying what happened. I still feel a bit hurt, but am more aroused than angry. I sort of wish they'd had sex.
I am so conflicted about this. Am pretty sure if I told her it was okay to sleep with him, she would.
Am I insane for telling her to go ahead? She didn't cancel her next lesson with him but will.
Any advice would be so appreciated.
When we got married, neither of us was sexually experienced. To make a long story short, she was seduced at work by a client from another city (we both work in finance). She broke down and told me about it. We grappled with the emotions but I was turned on by this. Particularly since he was able to give her orgasms and I cannot. We agreed she could sleep with him when he comes to Toronto. Always at his hotel. Honestly it didn't impact our lives except for a couple of days every couple of months.
But a couple of weeks ago I came home early from a conference. She has been taking tennis lessons and when I opened our condo door, it was pretty clear they were making out.
I left for an hour. Came back to lots of crying and some anger. She said she hasn't been with him before and I believe her. But she did admit she wanted him badly. She has felt that she isn't attractive, because she is thin and not shapely. She melts when a caucasian male flirts with her.
Over the last week, I keep replaying what happened. I still feel a bit hurt, but am more aroused than angry. I sort of wish they'd had sex.
I am so conflicted about this. Am pretty sure if I told her it was okay to sleep with him, she would.
Am I insane for telling her to go ahead? She didn't cancel her next lesson with him but will.
Any advice would be so appreciated.