Hello from TX and need advice

[txhuntercouple]

We are very new to this (have had discussions and dirty talk only).

I have tried join some sites (SLS, AFF, etc.) and posted pics but seem to only get crap dudes that want to send dick pics.

How do we try find someone to join (Male) that is willing to actually engage in conversation and "court" my wife ?

Do we have unrealistic expectations?

If we are in this lifestyle is everyone just about a quick hookup and don't care about any mental and physical attraction beyond the sex?

Appreciate any guidance or advice (even if it is telling me we are off base).

[MartasBoy]

I hear of people on here finding guys through various hookup sites, but I don't know which ones people find the most success with. We have found more success with things like her looking up old boyfriends, guys from work, and guys she has met "in the wild", at large hotel conference centers. She has been picked up while hanging out in the cocktail lounge as guys are coming out of things like insurance sales seminars, and medical conventions.

Other people on here will advise you on hook up sites, I'm sure.

You can also go on fetlife, and search your city for alternative groups that have social get togethers.

[txhuntercouple]

Thank you.
We have been together since we were 17 so there are not really any old boyfriend tracks we can take, and she does not work so that avenue is out as well. I kidded to her she might need to go get a job at a big company.
I will keep the conference/convention thing in mind.

[Nooch]

Hey there... also from TX & yeah, it can be tough to find quality guys.
Not sure what area you're in, but around the DFW area, SDC (.com) seems to be the popular site. Or you can try the apps (tinder, feeld, etc), but the bottom line is that you do wind up having to do a lot of weeding through the dick pics to find the quality guys.
If there are any clubs or parties in your area, that's always a good thing to check out. Even if you don't play, its a good opportunity to meet other like minded people who you already know are real & not flakes, make some connections, etc.

Best of luck to you!

[athlete915]

Do we have unrealistic expectations?

No, you don't have unrealistic expectations, and you shouldn't settle.

My advice to you is to state very clearly in your profile that you're looking for more than just sex. Any potential male partner will need to have some charm and wit, in addition to your desired physical trait. The ability to tease and flirt is a must.

Next, and sorry to be crude, but I recommend that you serve as the initial "shit filter" and be the first line of screening. That will save your wife from seeing every crude message and dick pic. The guys will need to prove to you that they are not complete idiots before they get to interact with your wife.

While this will be tiresome for you, the goal is to make your wife's experience as pleasant as possible. If things go well, it will be a small price to pay.

In the meantime, keep your eyes open in the real world. Don't become so focused on online searches that you miss out on people you encounter day-to-day (e.g., a personal trainer). Those can come with their own complications, but they offer you another potential source of partners.

I've been involved with couples for over a decade now. Most of my experiences have been long-term, steady relationships, and I was lucky to learn early on that while the relationships may be sexually focused, wives need a broader range of seduction. There needs to be flirtation and playful teasing. They need to feel a connection beyond just sex.

I point out that I am always going to spend more time apart from my couples than with them. The ability to charm and flirt helps build the anticipation for our next session and keep the fires kindled.

Anyway, that's a long way of saying good luck. This is too important to compromise, and you shouldn't. Be clear upfront about what you want, and you should serve as the frontline screener. I promise you that there are some guys out there who will appreciate your wants and will understand that a little effort outside of the bedroom will have big payoffs inside the bedroom.

[Wantsomefunto]

Maybe start out small and have her go out to a bar or casino dressed sexy and just have her engage in conversation and flirting. She should eventually find a guy she likes doing that.

[Greg_N_Shelley]

My advice to you is to state very clearly in your profile that you're looking for more than just sex. Any potential male partner will need to have some charm and wit, in addition to your desired physical trait. The ability to tease and flirt is a must.

Next, and sorry to be crude, but I recommend that you serve as the initial "shit filter" and be the first line of screening…

…I point out that I am always going to spend more time apart from my couples than with them. The ability to charm and flirt helps build the anticipation for our next session and keep the fires kindled…

Coming from the perspective of a husband in a couple that enjoyed many years of successful experiences, I agree with every point made by athlete915. We always found guys online (Craigslist or AFF) and only had one disappointing experience in 16 years of play.

In our first adventure, Shelley did the filtering and picked the lucky guy. And it was largely based on his personality and patience as they chatted over several weeks and she grew comfortable with him. Turns out he did have a big cock and knew how to use it, but that revelation came later.

Shortly later we had an awkward experience where Shelley unknowingly started dialogue with a married guy whose wife found out. After that embarrassing experience, she preferred I did the “filtering” and that ended up being a successful approach. My girl is naturally shy and often indecisive. I’m quite the opposite and I know what she likes. I had no trouble sifting through the BS to find the rare guys with both the personality and physical traits she liked.

Once I found a decent prospect, I’d refer him to her and let her make the decision. A few times we played a “blindfolded introduction” game which was also very successful. My girl is naturally submissive and really got off being blindfolded and fucked by an anonymous stud. Usually after an orgasm or two the blindfold would come off and she’d get properly introduced to our new friend. That’s actually how she met the guy who would go on to being her favorite FWB for the following 12 years she was active.

[Paradox2001]

My suggestion. Go to an airport lounge bar. There will be married men there on business trips away from their home and wife. Go in separately. Wife should be dressed professionally as if on a business trip. She should sit at the bar alone and look for any single man with a wedding ring on. A married man away from home on business is likely to be sane, disease free and horny. Catch his eye and don’t look away. Smile. Hopefully he will approach. Or maybe you approach him.

A good idea is to have your phone on and connected to your husband’s phone and ear pods so he can hear the conversation. If you like the guy and want to fuck him, signal your husband and then excuse yourself to the lady’s room. Then your cuck husband can approach and check out the man and explain your cuckold Hotwire relationship. Hopefully he will agree to fuck her either alone or with you in the room to enjoy the scene and maybe do more.

Try it out. It can’t hurt to try.
Roxy

[Reno1]

Hello Texas,
I was truly stunned to discover that sharing my wife was my ultimate sexual desire. Since it all started with her having sex with other guys and out of guilt, confessing it to me, when I finally worked up the courage to suggest that it turned me on, the obvious place to start was just to let her start affairs with other guys and then tell me everything that happened.
Later I discovered that male friends of mine or both of us made the very best lovers. They always were taken aback when I suggested it would be ok, but usually after a few days of thinking about it their horniness got the best of them and they were all in.
Since they were friends they could drop over anytime and we could all be in the same bed or anything that we wanted. With married friends we didn’t usually include the wives, but in some cases it started as swinging and evolved.
Just remember everybody says no until they have time to think about it.
Good luck.