Why??!!

[Stokedhubby]

I was listening to a podcast earlier and was reflecting on my own kink. I have been married for over three decades to my high school sweetheart. We dated for several years, and years two and three were long distance while we were at different colleges. Before we began dating, she had a long time boyfriend for around a year and she lost her virginity to him. I never looked at her as a possible companion until I gave her a ride home from a school event and we began talking. We talked about everything under the sun and realized how compatible we were. In our discussions, she shared her sexual experience with me and I found it oddly arousing, but of course didn't mention my arousal to her. We talked for hours every day before we had sex after only one week. It was my first time, and she must have been very disappointed with that first performance. I came so fast that she had no way of even getting close herself. lol I had no experience, so to say that I was afraid of not "measuring up" was a very real fear for me. I was worried about my size as well as what to do with it once I got it in her. We were nearly caught by her parents and I left really quickly after I had finished. My mind was racing and I am sure hers was too and I couldn't wait to debrief with her.

As I lay in bed thinking of losing my virginity, one of my thoughts surprised me. As good as if felt, and as excited as I was, just before I entered her, I thought about her previous boyfriend's cock penetrating her so many times. When we talked about our session the next day, I apologized and asked for a second chance. I also asked her how I compared in hopes of a better performance the next time. I was afraid my dick was too small. I knew my timing was going to have to improve. I had pulled out and wondered if I had a normal amount of ejaculate. All of these thoughts came from fear of measuring up to someone that was completely out of the picture. She would not open up and tell me what she really thought. She told me her ex was a little bigger and that I did cum too quickly for her to really enjoy it, but it was fine. She didn't want to talk abut her ex since it was a bad breakup and he was out of the picture. He was out of the picture, but I still imagined what his cock must have looked like as it went in to her. I didn't bring him up but I still thought of her under him.

She shared several sexual experiences that she and her boyfriend had. She was certainly no prude. She had a quicky with him while his mother was preparing dinner by taking a short ride on a 4 wheeler and had they sex outdoors, at the edge of a field by some woods. She had given him head. He had come in her mouth but no swallowing. She snuck back to the middle of his parents' RV and had sex from behind while his parent were 10 ft away. I remember so many of the stories, but she shared one logistical detail that had never entered my mind. When she told me about the RV sex, I asked if he had pulled out or used a condom. She said he did not pull out, came insider of her, and she just snuck back to the front bed after they had finished. That made sense to me since that way, there was no mess to deal with. She quickly informed me that all the cum runs out after a short while. I had never given a thought about what happens to cum after it is inside a woman. I just assumed it was absorbed some how in some magical baby making way. He knowledge of this very carnal detail was intoxicating to me. This epiphany would have an impact on my sex life and what turns me on for the rest of my adult life.

We dated and went parking to have sex every night that we could. I had put her comments about cum leaking out in the back of my mind and was learning new sex skills daily. One skill that I didn't realize I needed was oral sex. I had learned to slow down and I could give my girlfriend countless orgasms by hand. She would occasionally cum while we were having sex, but I would usually finger her until she tapped out and I would then mount her. I felt I needed to expand my kisses from mouth, neck and chest to her whole body. When I reached her pubic mound with my kisses, she pushed me away. She was still young and embarrassed by her body and her sexuality. I kissed all around for a very long time and went back towards her vagina. The pushing was less persistent and I told her to relax. I then realized that I had NO idea of what to do or how to do it. She was moaning and was more wet than I had ever seen. That is when my epiphany came back to me. As I parted her lips, I thought of his cock entering her. She was so wet and that is when I remembered that the cum leaks back out. I was about to dive in and I was thinking about cum from her ex leaking out of her pussy. As I ate her to multiple orgasms, I couldn't shake the thoughts of her fucking another guy. I came too quickly again that night, but she wasn't even disappointed. She had discovered how good she is at receiving oral. It was shortly after this that I told her that I thought it was hot to think of his cum running down her leg. That is the last thing that she wanted to hear since he was her ex for a reason.

I thought my girlfriend had the best pussy in the world, but I was clearly not experienced enough to say that. I was proud that I was getting to have sex with her and I was glad and proud that she was fucking me and no longer fucking her previous boyfriend. We had sex as often as we could and spoke openly about what we were liking and what we wanted more of. I was opening up and talking about sharing her and other fantasies. She actually agreed to a FMF with one of her cheerleader friends. The catch was that she also had to have a threesome with her friend and the boyfriend. We had our FMF and it was awesome although I actually never came. I fucked both of them for an hour, they were both sucking my cock and I wanted to make sure that they came first. By the time that happened, I never came. The really hot thing was when it was time for my girlfriend to make the reciprocal threesome I was at the same party and got to watch the proposal to him take place. Her friend told my girlfriend that tonight should be the night. It was already late at a farmhouse party that the boyfriend's parents owned. The time was one issue and the other issue was that my GF's friend had not mentioned to her boyfriend that he was part of this arrangement. He had no idea that she had cheated on him with me and he had no idea that he could have a threesome that night. My GF was given the task to convince him.

She had ridden to the party with me and asked me how she would get home. I told her I would just drive around in the country and come back and pick her up. She thought that would work and asked me if I was OK with her going through with this. I simply said "A deal is a deal. You have to do it." She asked me if I was going to stick around while she asked him and of course I said yes. She teased me and said something to the effect of: "You know when you come and pick me up, I will have been fucking another guy. I might even let him cum in me. Would you like that? Do you think my lips will be swollen from sucking his cock?" She already knew my thoughts, but I kissed her deeply and told her I could not wait to pick her up. I got to watch her approach this 21 year old boy, whisper in his ear and then lead him to a back carport area. Her friend and I were both in the garage and she asked me where her BF and my GF were. When I told her, she asked me if we should go and watch. Of course I followed her. When we got into the shadows and could see them talking, we were too far to hear, but they were well lit and we could see everything. I saw my GF lean in and shake her head yes. I saw her shake her head yes again and put her hands behind her back to offer up her tits that were being covered in a summer V-neck sweater. I saw her whisper some more and I got to see him reach under her mini skirt, pull her panties to the side and start to finger her. She arched her back and spread her legs to help give him better access to her pussy. More words were exchanged and my GF nodded each time. I was so hard. I was so proud! I was so incredibly horny! I was standing right behind the girl in our threesome and she had a miniskirt on too. It seemed fair that if her BF is fingering my GF, I should be able to do the same. I touched her ass and worked my way to her pussy. She was incredibly wet as she watched her BF fingering another girl...MY GIRLFRIEND! I began to finger her and the stars of the show were interrupted and pulled apart. We quickly went back around to where the remaining partiers were. My GF found me after just a few minutes. I thought I was getting a kiss goodbye but instead, she told me we should find her friend and then she was ready to go home. She found her friend on the other side of the barn, whispered in her ear to be heard over the music and then made a quick exit with me in tow. I was asking what was happening and she couldn't really answer with so many people around. We stopped on the road to kiss and I put my hand up her skirt and was met with deep moans. She pulled away to get to the car that was 1/4 mile down the road. Once we were in the car, she asked me to get my dick out so she could suck it. I loved it, but she couldn't tell me what is happening with my dick in her mouth. I was asking, but she was way too hot with my dick in her mouth and me reaching under her skirt. She finally pulled back and told me to drive her someplace to be fucked. On the drive, she told me that she was very aroused and wanted to fuck this guy, but he couldn't believe that his GF would agree to a threesome. He thought it was a trap. He thought my GF would not let him do anything sexual and pushed to test her. That is why she offered her tits. That is why she let him finger her. He was starting to believe, but then the person walked in and asked about where his GF was. That is when they split up to go back to the party. We fucked and we both came quickly. She asked if I would still want her and love her if she would have gone through with it. I explained how hot I thought the whole scenario was. It seems my kink was set for life after this situation.

We had a couple more close calls with her almost fucking a few other guys, but she has never been willing to go through with it. After so many years, she is fully aware of how often I think of this. We have a dildo (named Phil) that fucks her frequently. I found out a few years ago that she was really surprised at how small I felt as I entered her that first time. She said she could tell immediately that her boyfriend was bigger, quite a bit bigger than I am. She does admit now that I don't fill her up, but Phil does. I have never seen her cum on my dick like she does this large dildo. Phil usually fucks her to several orgasms and then she cleans him off while I fuck her. I have told her many times that I want to witness the real thing. She has a physical response but assures me that she doesn't ever want to do that. When I eat her out, I sometimes still think about her first BF's cum leaking out of her nearly 40 years ago.


My question is this: Why?? Why would I want to see another man fuck my wife? Why would I want to see her enjoy a larger dick? Why would I want to see my bride sucking another dick? Why do I still think about her first BF leaving a load of cum inside her? My wife and I are best friends. We both retired recently, travel, and have a great deal of fun together. We have built a comfortable life which allows us so much freedom. We have a family that we travel to spend time with. We have sex a couple of times a week and, after menopause, she is taking HRT to continue this act. After all this time, I still want to share her. Why?

So, with my first question stated, another question is this: Was I predisposed to have Stag/Hotwife/Cuckold tendencies, or is this urge from what I experienced with my first love/partner? Did my early sexual experiences and insecurities thinking about fucking a girl who had sex countless time with a larger cock set my brain to desiring that thing? Why would I be willing to risk a lifetime of hope, success and family to see my wife with another dick in her? If anyone can explain, it might save me some money on a counselor.

If you have made it this far, thanks for letting me rant ; )

Stoked

[hubudig2]

Great story, I enjoyed it, thanks for taking the time to write it.

Why would I want to see another man fuck my wife?

Maybe it might help to consider there's a flip side to this.
For me, I've always had an instinctive urge to cuck guys. Single girls weren't interesting to me, seeing a girl's confused boyfriend stand aside as I increasingly made moves on her was intoxicating to me.
However, I'm now married, my wife and I have an amazing sex life, she is and does everything I could ever wish for but she can't satisfy this urge for me (not as my wife anyway, she cheated on previous boyfriends with me).
She allows me to do this and I can only be grateful to her, there's no way I could handle her being with other guys.
We (me, you) both have urges that put our relationships at risk, it's just human nature.

Was I predisposed to have Stag/Hotwife/Cuckold tendencies, or is this urge from what I experienced with my first love/partner?
Did my early sexual experiences and insecurities thinking about fucking a girl who had sex countless time with a larger cock set my brain to desiring that thing?

It's kind of a nature/nurture debate.
I think it's possible for someone to be genetically predisposed but I actually think most men are capable of having cuck/stag/bull fantasies and they may change from one to another over time.
Throughout your life there will be experiences that shape your desires, the same with anything. If you realise you're good at something, you're more likely to enjoy it and do it more. If you associate something with sexual pleasure, you're more likely to want to do that again. Most men will experience sexual dominance and take a liking to it, most women will experience sexual submission and take a liking to it but the opposite will also be true and the same can be said for other sexual kinks.

For me, growing up, I never thought my dick was big, I just thought every other dick I'd happened to see was small. Watching porn made me think I was on the larger side of average and it was never something I was concerned about. When I was a virgin, I always heard from other guys that making a woman cum from sex was like the holy grail, anyone that said they had done it was considered to be lying. They would all go on about how it was difficult to last long enough and it was all about making her cum from oral. When I lost my virginity (to my friend's gf) I had these low expectations in my head but I didn't dwell on it, I figured it would be expected that I wouldn't be great on my first time and just enjoyed it. This girl was in awe, I assumed it was all fake to make me feel better but she was making great noises and tensing up as she "pretended" to cum over and over. Afterwards she told me it was the best sex she'd had, I assumed she was trying to make me feel better but I overheard her talking to her friend about it and it turns out she wasn't faking. I started to realise this was something I was naturally good at and my confidence would grow as a result.

I know not every cuckold fantasy is from having a small cock, premature ejaculation or poor stamina but they are common factors. Sometimes it's just the insecurity, sometimes it can be overjealousy, sometimes it can be an erotic thought with a cuckolding element that gets stuck in your mind. A lot of guys can trace it back to a particular incident, some guys say it was there for as far back as they remember.

I think for me it came about by friend's girlfriends being drawn to me and their boyfriends acting so strangely. I found it fascinating how they would act like a deer in the headlights, knowing they should object but feeling frozen and unable to do so. I think each experience reinforced it as being something erotic for me. Likewise I imagine they had a similar/opposite reaction, having images of me fucking their girlfriends enter their minds every time they masturbated or had sex.

This might sound harsh and I don't mean for it to but I think it's nature's way of forcing sexually inferior males to step aside for sexually superior males to breed their women. You see it in other species how a particular individual may change it's role and even it's form based on outside influences (bees aren't genetically different to queen bees for example), I think cuckolding is similar to that. Through a series of experiences a guy will become turned on by the idea of being cucked or cucking others. Guys are instinctively controlled by their dicks (and stomachs and other things). Despite maybe logically not wanting his wife to fuck another man, ultimately his dick will override that and make him want it and that concept is really hot to me.

Why would I want to see her enjoy a larger dick?

I think it's satisfying for most men to watch a woman take a big cock. For some guys, they can self-satisfy this desire, for others they desire to see it with other men.

Why would I want to see my bride sucking another dick?

Again, I think it's satisfying for most men to watch a woman submit sexually to a man. Some guys can self-satisfy that, others fantasize about their wife submitting, others feel that other men would be able to turn their wife submissive.

After all this time, I still want to share her. Why?

Unless you have experiences that change your angle on it, why would your desires change?
With age, men are more likely to become cuckolds so it would be more unlikely that your desire would change.

Why would I be willing to risk a lifetime of hope, success and family to see my wife with another dick in her?

I ask myself a similar question when I leave my wife to go fuck another man's wife.
We're driven by our dicks (sexual desires), you can either fight it or indulge it.

[hubudig2]

In case you were hoping for a more personal analysis:

In our discussions, she shared her sexual experience with me and I found it oddly arousing, but of course didn't mention my arousal to her.

I don't think it's unusual to find it arousing hearing a woman talk about sex, especially at that age.
She may have teed you up for some potential cuckold fantasies by turning you on over her past experiences though.
If you were insecure at all, you may have started to see those past experiences as a benchmark to compare yourself to.
There's also different perspectives in how you automatically imagine these scenarios as she tells you. You might imagine it from his perspective or you might imagine it from a third person (fly on the wall) perspective. I'm guessing you imagined it from a third person perspective?
It probably doesn't seem significant at this point that it's a turn on to think of 2 people having sex, it's more about how that "image" stays with you through what follows.

We talked for hours every day before we had sex after only one week. It was my first time, and she must have been very disappointed with that first performance. I came so fast that she had no way of even getting close herself. lol I had no experience, so to say that I was afraid of not "measuring up" was a very real fear for me. I was worried about my size as well as what to do with it once I got it in her. We were nearly caught by her parents and I left really quickly after I had finished. My mind was racing and I am sure hers was too and I couldn't wait to debrief with her.

In your opinion you fell short of that benchmark set by her ex.
As much as you enjoyed fucking her, you know she's enjoyed better and who wouldn't wonder what she might've looked like enjoying better sex.
After all, it's much easier to imagine that now and you're not just wondering if it's possible for her to enjoy better sex, you know it's happened.

As I lay in bed thinking of losing my virginity, one of my thoughts surprised me. As good as if felt, and as excited as I was, just before I entered her, I thought about her previous boyfriend's cock penetrating her so many times.

When she told you about her previous experiences and it turned you on, I imagine it became a bit of a fantasy to imagine seeing what she described.
You're now seeing half of that fantasy, your mind fills in the other half because you enjoy thinking about that.

I also asked her how I compared in hopes of a better performance the next time. I was afraid my dick was too small. I knew my timing was going to have to improve. I had pulled out and wondered if I had a normal amount of ejaculate. All of these thoughts came from fear of measuring up to someone that was completely out of the picture. She would not open up and tell me what she really thought. She told me her ex was a little bigger and that I did cum too quickly for her to really enjoy it, but it was fine.

The insecurity has set in, although it's not just insecurity. She has told you in no uncertain terms that he was bigger and men seem to value cock size above most other measures.

He was out of the picture, but I still imagined what his cock must have looked like as it went in to her.

When you're learning to do something, anything, it's helpful to see someone who's better at it and learn from them.
In your frustration, you would've wanted to do better, this guy was the benchmark and you fixated on that.

She shared several sexual experiences that she and her boyfriend had. She was certainly no prude. She had a quicky with him while his mother was preparing dinner by taking a short ride on a 4 wheeler and had they sex outdoors, at the edge of a field by some woods. She had given him head. He had come in her mouth but no swallowing. She snuck back to the middle of his parents' RV and had sex from behind while his parent were 10 ft away. I remember so many of the stories, but she shared one logistical detail that had never entered my mind. When she told me about the RV sex, I asked if he had pulled out or used a condom. She said he did not pull out, came insider of her, and she just snuck back to the front bed after they had finished. That made sense to me since that way, there was no mess to deal with. She quickly informed me that all the cum runs out after a short while. I had never given a thought about what happens to cum after it is inside a woman. I just assumed it was absorbed some how in some magical baby making way. He knowledge of this very carnal detail was intoxicating to me. This epiphany would have an impact on my sex life and what turns me on for the rest of my adult life.

You already knew you had trouble shaking the image of her and her ex. The extra stories and this detail/image would've cemented those images in your head for every time you have sex with her.

As I parted her lips, I thought of his cock entering her. She was so wet and that is when I remembered that the cum leaks back out. I was about to dive in and I was thinking about cum from her ex leaking out of her pussy. As I ate her to multiple orgasms, I couldn't shake the thoughts of her fucking another guy.

This was the hottest part of your story for me btw.
In this moment you've not only realised you're able to better please her with your mouth than your dick but you've realised that imagining her taking another dick and potentially licking his cum from her pussy as you eat her turns you on.

Personally, women I've been with have never been enthusiastic about me going down on them. They usually can't wait to suck my cock and from there can't wait to feel it inside them. It's not that I'm not good with my tongue but that my dick gives more pleasure. My tongue tends to get involved later on if it's an extended session and she's feeling a bit loose, exhausted or numb.

I came too quickly again that night

I thought my girlfriend had the best pussy in the world

Cumming too quickly often inspires submissiveness. If you're too excited, it might be because the woman is too hot for you and people tend to go more submissive towards people they think are hotter than them. Also the feeling that you're not in control of your orgasm, that instead it has control over you, robs you of sex in return for pleasure is kind of a submissive indulgence.
Your comment about her pussy sounds like you put that "pussy on a pedestal" and your recently discovered that you can pleasure her well with oral which I assume was performed submissively. You're thoroughly into wannabe cuckold territory now.

She actually agreed to a FMF with one of her cheerleader friends. The catch was that she also had to have a threesome with her friend and the boyfriend.

How did you feel about this arrangement?
You described it as a catch as if the threesome with you was preferred but I'm guessing the threesome with him had some hotness to the idea? I assume you had reservations about it? How did they change as the prospect became more real?

[Stokedhubby]

How did you feel about this arrangement?
You described it as a catch as if the threesome with you was preferred but I'm guessing the threesome with him had some hotness to the idea? I assume you had reservations about it? How did they change as the prospect became more real?

I thought the arrangement was great! TBH, I was more excited about my FMF than the one that I would not be part of. That was more exciting as time was closer to it actually happening. The thought of her having sex with another was extremely arousing the night that we thought it was going to happen.

To be clear about the some of the ex boyfriend discussion: She never had an orgasm with him. He was a selfish lover and didnt care if she came or not. She got close to orgasm with him, but never actually came. She didnt cum during sex with me for some time, but was able to cum during oral as I described. So, I dont think her ex was really ever better than I per se, but he had a larger penis. Apparently, there is more to being a good lover than just having a big dick. Also, "big" is a relative term. While she admits that he was bigger than I am, she said it wasn't huge.

Thanks for your opinions and insights. It is an interesting discussion from a different perspective.

[hubudig2]

To be clear about the some of the ex boyfriend discussion: She never had an orgasm with him. He was a selfish lover and didnt care if she came or not. She got close to orgasm with him, but never actually came. She didnt cum during sex with me for some time, but was able to cum during oral as I described. So, I dont think her ex was really ever better than I per se, but he had a larger penis. Apparently, there is more to being a good lover than just having a big dick. Also, "big" is a relative term. While she admits that he was bigger than I am, she said it wasn't huge.

Fair enough. I was more referring to your perception of him being better, after your first time in particular.
Apologies if you felt I was mocking you or your abilities, that wasn't my intention.
I agree there is plenty more to being a good lover than having a big dick, sex is mostly in the mind, my focus is always the psychology, some people like to think it's all about size though for one reason or another.

Thanks for your opinions and insights. It is an interesting discussion from a different perspective.

No problem. Will you still be spending money on a counselor?
If so, I'm happy to have another go lol.

[Stokedhubby]

Fair enough. I was more referring to your perception of him being better, after your first time in particular.
Apologies if you felt I was mocking you or your abilities, that wasn't my intention.
I agree there is plenty more to being a good lover than having a big dick, sex is mostly in the mind, my focus is always the psychology, some people like to think it's all about size though for one reason or another.
Stokedhubby wrote: ↑Fri Jan 31, 2025 2:11 pm
Thanks for your opinions and insights. It is an interesting discussion from a different perspective.
No problem. Will you still be spending money on a counselor?
If so, I'm happy to have another go lol.

No apologies necessary.

I dont think I'll be seeing a counselor any time soon. I dont know if you saved me any money, but it is nice to hear your opinions. I suppose the answer to "why" is really irrelevant. I think a better question, and a question my wife and I have been working on for many years is: How do we best proceed to make certain that we are both happy?
So far, open discussion, sex toys, and pillow talk have done the trick.

[bbarnsworth]

"Why" is an interesting question.

It's clear from your posts that you are very much aroused by the idea of your wife having another man, and especially another man cum in her. There's a term for this; "compersion". It's effectively the opposite of jealousy. You take delight in another man loving your wife and vice versa (love in the physical sense and/or emotional sense). Your arousal from this isn't necessarily a thing that can logically be answered.

Consider; we presume it's 'normal' for two people to have sex with each other. Each person getting aroused is a 'normal' reaction. Our society raises us that way, to expect this in our sexual interactions. So we don't think about it; we don't try to figure out the intricacies of why we're aroused by having sex play with someone else.

We're not tooled with the idea of there being more than two (whether in parallel or serial). So, we don't automatically presume it's 'normal'. We thus become perplexed when we are aroused at the idea of our partners engaging in sex with someone other than ourselves. This isn't 'normal', so we try to analyze it to find out why. If we were raised with the idea of having more than one partner being 'normal' we wouldn't be analyzing it.

When my wife and I first got into swinging more than 15 years ago, we didn't know if we'd like it. We thought it sounded like a lot of fun, but we didn't really know, and couldn't know, how we would react. We talked a lot, read a lot, talked more, fantasized, role played, etc. Ultimately though we had to do it to find out if we liked it or not. That wasn't a reason to do it, but we knew if we were going to do it the only way to ultimately know if we'd enjoy it was by doing it. We got into swinging first with MFMs, and found that was what we enjoyed most, and thus what we've largely done over the years. The first couple of guys were kind of "meh" for her; not bad, but not great. I found that my reactions tended to be like hers; if she was "meh", I was "meh". The third time though...she just couldn't get enough sex with this guy. She made sounds with him she didn't make with me, always wanted him inside her, kept wanting more and more and more. She got to have several encounters with him, including her first ever solo play date. She loved his cock, loved having sex with him, giving him oral sex, wrapping herself around him, and on and on.

Among many new experiences for us was the realization for me that the more she enjoyed it, the more I enjoyed her doing it, and vice versa. We fed off each other. I very much wanted her to have sex with other men as much as possible, so long as she enjoyed it. It's an incredible high, highly erotic, and very fulfilling to me knowing how much fun she is having. I really enjoying holding my wife while another man is fucking her. Kissing at the same time is awesome too, feeling her moans as he's fucking her. It was even better when she finally had her first real boyfriend in this, some years into it, and they started having bareback sex. Her coming home with his cum in her, or even better getting to have sex with her right after he'd cum in her was absolutely exquisite.

Early on, this was quite confusing to me. Like you, I didn't understand why I should be enjoying this? I'd been quite jealous with early girlfriends, so why am I not at all jealous...in fact the opposite...when my wife is fucking another man? It didn't make sense. I tried for quite some time to figure this out, and came up empty. There's no logical 'why' for it. It just is. What I came to learn was that it really didn't matter...why. What matters is her enjoyment, knowing how fulfilled she is, and knowing we're feeding off of each other in it. It's our love life on steroids, and it feels awesome. I don't have to know the 'why' in order to appreciate just how awesome this is.

There's no way to know for certain if you were predisposed to this or influenced by early experiences, or a combination thereof. What is obvious is that it isn't going away; it's not a fancy that you had in your younger years, now long gone. It's something that makes you...you.

No, I don't think your putting your marriage at risk...if...IF....you have wide open, totally honest communication between you and your wife. Not if you're 100% committed to each other, and treat this as something you're doing TOGETHER as a mutual adventure. My wife and I were concerned about things like what if it negatively affected our marriage? We felt it wasn't the kind of thing of a bell that couldn't be un-rung. We felt we'd keep communicating and if we felt like something wasn't going how we'd want we would pause and reevaluate. If we felt it wasn't for us anymore, then
we'd stop and focus just on the two of us. We've never run into this, though some couples have.

You've managed to get to a great spot in your lives where you have everything you need, and the freedom to pursue your dreams. You also now have fewer years in front of you than you did when you first got married. Are you prepared to never do something new in the hopes of preserving what you've created? Are you prepared to remain stagnant in all things (not just non-monogamy) in the hopes that no new challenges arise that cause growth? I'm not trying to convince you into anything, but these are things to consider.

Keep asking questions We'll be happy to answer!

[Stokedhubby]

Among many new experiences for us was the realization for me that the more she enjoyed it, the more I enjoyed her doing it, and vice versa. We fed off each other. I very much wanted her to have sex with other men as much as possible, so long as she enjoyed it. It's an incredible high, highly erotic, and very fulfilling to me knowing how much fun she is having. I really enjoying holding my wife while another man is fucking her. Kissing at the same time is awesome too, feeling her moans as he's fucking her. It was even better when she finally had her first real boyfriend in this, some years into it, and they started having bareback sex. Her coming home with his cum in her, or even better getting to have sex with her right after he'd cum in her was absolutely exquisite.

This scenario sounds very nice to me. I dont want to be humiliated. I dont want some "alpha male" to show me how good he is. I have made my wife cum more times than any other human would ever be able to so I know how that works. Her sexuality and enjoyment is part of my sexual spark.

No, I don't think your putting your marriage at risk...if...IF....you have wide open, totally honest communication between you and your wife. Not if you're 100% committed to each other, and treat this as something you're doing TOGETHER as a mutual adventure. My wife and I were concerned about things like what if it negatively affected our marriage? We felt it wasn't the kind of thing of a bell that couldn't be un-rung. We felt we'd keep communicating and if we felt like something wasn't going how we'd want we would pause and reevaluate. If we felt it wasn't for us anymore, then
we'd stop and focus just on the two of us. We've never run into this, though some couples have.

We have talked about it and we both know where the other stands on the subject. Years ago, she told me to go ahead and play on my own outside of the marriage. We had additional talks then about this togetherness thing that you mentioned.

Thanks for the input!