Can a realistic dildo be used to break the ice?

[TheBandersnatch]

Have not had "the talk" with the wife at all. But when she jokes about being with other men I always act chill and non-jealous, perhaps as a way to subtly imply that I'd be okay with it.

Recently I asked her if she'd let me buy and use a dildo on her, and she said yes. I'd like to get a realistic vibrating one. Has anyone had any success taking this path to hotwifing/sharing? Thanks all

[leggysman]

I'd like to get a realistic vibrating one.

Man oh man, I wish I could get my dick to vibrate

Yes, we got ourselves a big realistic dildo while we were still Wannabes. Not sure it made a huge difference, but then again we'd had the talk, and were in the planning stage at that point.

[Justaregularguy]

My wife has a huge realistic black one… it’s so hot watching her with it!

[parklife]

Worked for us…. She enjoyed the toy, we named it after a former flame… she later reconnected with said flame as her first foray into being a Hotwife.

And one small note…. Don’t just act non-chalant and u jealous. You don’t want her to think you dont care. That can be worse than being jealous. Make sure she knows you’re aroused by it. That it turns you on.

[HCTSW17]

I believe it can but take it slow. I got a realistic black dildo for my lovely vanilla wife. She knows about my cuckold fantasy but hardly ever wants to talk about it. I jokingly said after going down on her that I was going to get a dildo to use on her while I licked her clit. Surprisingly she didn’t protest about it and kinda dared me to order one. While I did lol. When it showed up and she saw that it was black and rather large she jokingly said “ what are you trying to do to me” lol. We used it the first night and it was absolutely amazing! It so beautiful to watch her slowly accept the whole dildo inside her. It was amazing to listen to her moans and her breathing and when she came she clutched the sheets her orgasm was so strong. Her body reacted completely differently than when we have sex. She was kinda high from it afterwards. She named it and said we had to keep in a safe place and even compared held it next my cock and compared it. I was a little humiliated but I loved it. She even talked dirty to me when we were having sex afterwards asking me if I was picturing her having sex with a real black man and asking me to go deeper when I was all the way inside her.

This is where I screwed up and it went downhill lol. I got too overzealous and wanted to use it all the time. We used it about six times in a row. Each time she came just as hard as the first but what got to her and her not wanting anything to do with the dildo was that when we had sex afterwards she could barely feel me. It started to mess with her mind even though I reassured her that she still felt wonderful and she was amazing! After the sixth time when we had sex she got emotional and said she didn’t want to use it anymore. It still sits on our drawer next to the bed hoping it will one day make an appearance again lol. So just take it slow! Good luck!

[Dream Weaver]

Have not had "the talk" with the wife at all. But when she jokes about being with other men I always act chill and non-jealous, perhaps as a way to subtly imply that I'd be okay with it.

Recently I asked her if she'd let me buy and use a dildo on her, and she said yes. I'd like to get a realistic vibrating one. Has anyone had any success taking this path to hotwifing/sharing? Thanks all

I suppose it depends on the woman. Some just hate big fake plastic dongs, some like them.

I'm puzzled about something. She teases you about other guys... and you act chill and non-jealous. I suppose that's better than meek and begging, but man, when she goes to tease you about this thing, give it to her good! Show a REACTION that she enjoys. Positive reinforcement is the best reinforcement, IMHO.

[BritishBull2k25]

When talking with cuck-friends, I've had good feedback from suggesting things start slowly with the toy and gradually changing your dirty talk over a long space of time..

"Does that feel good, baby?"

Becomes:

"Do you like the way that toy feels?"

To:

"Does that cock feel good when it vibrates?"

Asked because you really want to make sure you're using it well, but gradually over time changing your phrasing of the same question can massively affect the response.

Does one way of asking it elicit a different, more powerful response from her? Does one jarr her and bring her out of the moment? When asked at the right time, does it push her over the edge? That could be worth noting and leaning in to, later.

Similarly, if she's a regular masturbator, asking if she can use the toy in front of you to tease you could be incredibly hot. Does she default to lying back, or does she want to bend over or ride it?

When talking it through afterwards, you could always say you'd love to see her riding it, she just doesn't know it's so you can imagine her riding another man..

As well as turning you on because of the suggestive nature of what you're seeing and bringing you another step closer to realising your fantasy, it also helps demonstrate where she may be at with it all from her responses.

These things can all be incredibly vulnerable for someone who isn't used to showing off for sexual partners, so I think encouraging her with your reactions is huge. Don't play it cool - ask her outright if she can see/feel how hard it's making you. Make sure she has no shadow of a doubt that this has blown your mind and you appreciate her for it.

Win-win.

[BritishBull2k25]

Show a REACTION that she enjoys. Positive reinforcement is the best reinforcement, IMHO.

Couldn't agree more with this. I think a lot of cuckolds overthink it and try and play it cool by acting stoic and not reacting.

Cognitively her takeaways are probably:

"He doesnt care"
"He's not the jealous type"
"He's relaxed because he wants me to fuck another man"

And depending on the lenses she sees the world through and your feedback, some of those will be easier thoughts to have than others.

Personally, I think if you engage sexually after these comments it either shows an amount of possessiveness or arousal by it, but like @Dreamweaver says, positive reinforcement is always best.

[Greg_N_Shelley]

My girl was onboard from the first night I proposed the idea. But during the following weeks before her first playdate, we used a realistic dildo several times for role play. It was great.

[Jonjones1529]

I used a larger dildo on my wife the last time we had sex. While we were using it she said it felt good but was going too deep. I was hoping it would make her want something bigger but idk if it had that effect.

[Fapster69]

I used a realistic (apart from the size ) one on my girlfriend and we could barely get it in! She said to take a mental note because if it was a real penis then this is as far as it would go! She still came from just the tip though!

[hwlurker88]

I'd say it broke the ice in "some ways".
While she isn't fucking any other guys to become a hotwife, it was successful in the following 2 ways.
1) it conformed my suspicion that she would enjoy a large cock. Once she was able to let go of feeling like "it isn't proper for me to enjoy this as much as I do", she has absolutely latched onto the pleasure it gives her. And after a few years is comfortable enough to admit that she likes the feeling of it better than me. She is in a euphoric state when using it, but orgasms easier with me than the dildo. She said fucking me is more emotionally intimate and thus easier for orgasm. But the dildo just blows her fucking mind.
2) the dildo has a name/character "Carlos". So, she is willing to tell me about how he fucked her pussy so good before I came home. After we've used Carlos and then I'm fucking her, she will say "sorry I'm so stretched out, but Carlos came over earlier and fucked my pussy so good". Or, when we are doing some foreplay, she will ask if Carlos can come over be cause she needs her pussy filled. Her becoming willing to ask for it was the biggest move I think. Otherwise, before it was me always suggesting it. If I'm suggesting it, it just feels like she didn't necessarily desire it but was willing to have fun with me. But now that she asks to be fucked by Carlos, it's pretty hot to know that she actually desires it for real.

While we may never actually get to experience her being with another guy, the ice has broken enough that it has been very fun for us.

For those that are interested, it is the Nick Capra Medium from Mrhankeystoys website.

Circumference near head (rim):
7.10"
18.03cm

Circumference near middle:
8.65"
21.97cm

Circumference near base:
8.75"
22.23cm

Insertable length:
8.00"
20.32cm

[Jonjones1529]

For those that are interested, it is the Nick Capra Medium from Mrhankeystoys website.

Circumference near head (rim):
7.10"
18.03cm

Circumference near middle:
8.65"
21.97cm

Circumference near base:
8.75"
22.23cm

Insertable length:
8.00"
20.32cm

That's massive. What a champ

[hwlurker88]

Yeah, I didn't show her it before hand and used it in the dark the first time. She was flabbergasted when she held it in her hands in the light afterwards. I told her I figured if she saw it before she would have said "no fucking way". She said I was probably correct! She is still amazed she can take it, but she fucking loves it!

[Fapster69]

I got the Lampwick Uncut in jet black from Mr Hankey and my girlfriend can’t even get the head in!

[hwlurker88]

I got the Lampwick Uncut in jet black from Mr Hankey and my girlfriend can’t even get the head in!

What size did you get?

[Fapster69]

I got the Lampwick Uncut in jet black from Mr Hankey and my girlfriend can’t even get the head in!

What size did you get?

Large and 75% soft. I seriously underestimated how large it was! I guess it gives us something to work towards.

[hwlurker88]

I got the Lampwick Uncut in jet black from Mr Hankey and my girlfriend can’t even get the head in!

What size did you get?

Large and 75% soft. I seriously underestimated how large it was! I guess it gives us something to work towards.

Wow! Can't blame her! Also, that length is rather impressive! My wife couldn't do the length.

Circumference near head (rim):
7.75"
19.69cm

Circumference near middle:
8.25"
20.96cm

Circumference near base:
7.75"
19.69cm

Insertable length:
11.00"
27.94cm