hotwifegoddes4u wrote: ↑Mon Mar 07, 2022 3:51 am
So... More Interesting developments this past week. We had a SUPER busy week last week and there was no time for my wife to chat with her Skype friend M. At the same time, M didn't correspond much either (he usually messages me on Adultism). But my wife and I walked through several fantasies about her camming with him or meeting him in real life and fucking his brains out. Every time she was extremely wet and during sex she said she wants to fuck him in real life.
The best response was last Friday evening though. I had given her a fantasy to walk through while she was masturbating. Just like every other time last week, she came hard several times and was "gushing", for lack of a better word. She said that, yes, it is a lot of fun to be sexual with someone else outside of our relationship and she enjoys the chat. She said that she might be ready to cam with him in a few more hot chat sessions pretty much all of last week, so I think that will become a reality very soon! However, the best part came while I was fucking her from behind over the stair railing in the attic... I asked her, "Are you ready to fuck M in real life?" and she moaned, 'Yes"! Then I said, "Are you sure"? Again she moaned, "Yes"!! Then I asked, "And you won't change your mind"! She said, "No. I won't change my mind"!. And I asked one last time, "You promise"? She breathlessly said, "I promise! I swear! I want to fuck M"!
As hot as that was for both of us, we are currently operating in "test mode". Something we both discussed where she, I and her friend M can say and talk about anything we want and there is no commitment to anything in real life. All three of us are aware of this and we know that it will only change if and when she says it should. But I do consider this a way of gauging what her real feeling are. We have done this kind of fantasizing before without there being anyone and usually after the session she says something like, "Sorry to disappoint you sweetie, but I am not really going to fuck anyone else". This time she didn't say that. Instead she said, "Wow! That was fucking hot! I am THIS CLOSE to maybe saying yes. But for now I want a codicil on anything I say".
Once again, I am not going to let the horny side of me (which is like 98% of me) take hold and expect anything. I have been disappointed before and it's all my fault for expecting more than what is actually being said or offered. This is why I am trying my HARDEST to let her drive this and tell her that this is her experience to drive. So, no, until she tells me she wants to end test mode and tells me that yes she wants to fuck M, it is just a lot of REALLY hot fun. And the fact that she is nearly ready to cam with him is making it even hotter.
But it gets better too. Last week I told her I was going to set her up with her own Skype account for camming with other guys. In the past, she would have just humored me (and I can tell when she does) and nothing would have happened with the Skype account. This time though, she said, "OK". And she smiled! I got everything set up and we had some private time (kids out of the house for the evening) during which I recommended I give her Skype lessons. How to sign in on her laptop, how to unlock the old Android phone I have set up for sex related stuff with her own account set up in Skype there so she can send M selfies. We also did a practice cam session where I pretended to be another guy. She honestly took a few sexy but non-nude selfies while I sent her real tribute photos I made the night before.
She was very into learning how to do it and when we got around to fucking after the test cam session between us, SHE ASKED that I walk her through a fantasy about camming with M for the first time! Of course I was really excited and gave her the overall scenario of how her bedroom would be set up for camming, then I carefully gave her a slow burn fantasy about camming with M while she played with her Hitachi magic wand next to me. Once again, another set of incredible orgasms for her, and a soaking wet pussy. I fucked her afterwards and she said, "Chatting with M and getting wet for him has been hot. And now that I know how camming by myself with him could work, I think that could be VERY hot. I will need a little liquid courage to "loosen me up" and get me through the first time, but after that, if I have fun, I think I can say that the next time I can do it without any need for a couple glasses of wine". THAT sounds VERY promising.
This past few weeks has definitely been uncharted territory for both of us and feels like the closest we have ever been to her becoming a hotwife. But it still gets better! She also asked me to show her some women camming to get an idea of what she should do or would be expected to do. THAT is entirely new. It is the first time she has shown some level of proactive interest in something like this. For many years it just seemed like something to humor me with the occasional realization that some of these things make her hot too. But she has never before asked for more information, examples, and ideas around any of this kind of stuff. We also had some really good, long discussions of ideas and concepts I have read about on this site around the lifestyle. Again, I have spoken to her about these things before and she would listen and maybe consider things but usually it still ended with the feeling that she was just humoring me.
For the first time yesterday we talked about boundaries and expectations if anything like this were to become real and she gave me honest answers. I found out that if we met up with someone, she will need a couple of drinks the first time to "loosen up". She is encouraging that all on her own! She also told me that for that first time meeting she would want me to come with her and M to the hotel room and check things out to make sure no one else is there, etc... But when the action starts she would give me a thumbs up meaning she wants to be alone with M. I would leave the room and wait for her to text me or call me.
She said, "For a first time, at least, I don't think I would be ready to perform in front of an audience" so we agreed that until she was ready for that, she would be solo with M. We also talked about and agreed on the idea that, yes, she wouldn't be looking for relationships with these guys, she would be looking for someone to have some sexy fun with and if it happened more than once, that's OK. But if it was a one time thing, that is OK too. (She feels most guys would just want a one time hookup, but I think she will be surprised) She is also seeing, through my reactions to her sexy chat with M, that I am really enjoying this experience so far and that is making her happy and more comfortable. I also asked her to try and accept that this experience and any real life action that might follow is a real part of her and she should try to integrate that into her everyday self. This part is hard for her. Mainly it is the "good wives don't sleep with other men" conditioning she has gotten all her life that is standing in the way. But she said that she is working at trying to enjoy and accept it when thoughts of M come into her mind during the day instead of pushing them away like she used to. That's 50 years of conditioning to overcome but I think it is happening.
She said that she is feeling a little less weird about sexy chat and possibly camming with M now. But she said that she still needs to compartmentalize this experience to preserve her sanity. Even there we got a little bit more understanding. I originally understood this to mean denial that it is even happening except when she is in a sexual context with M or I. But after our conversations over the weekend she means that she doesn't want to be texting/calling M every day or multiple times a week. She doesn't want that much of an involvement. Whether or not any real life action happens, she wants to limit the time she spends playing with M to no more than once a week. That was an assumption I had from the outset but I had not verbalized it with her. So we are now on the same page and to me "compartmentalization" no longer means denial, it is simply a boundary and it makes sense.
One thing she was clear on (and knows she has no limits on from me), is that she doesn't want a boyfriend. She doesn't want to date in the traditional sense. That would complicate things too much and require too much of her time. So, her compartment approach really makes sense for what works for her. She is aware that I have no real limits that apply to her. So I think that sense of freedom makes it easy for her to figure out what she really wants and how that could evolve. I would love to hear from other hotwives who might have started out like this but opened up to more frequency and possibly more intimacy in the relationship with their FWBs because, If she crosses the hotwife barrier, I think she could evolve more in that direction given how free she knows she is in our relationship.
The fact that she is open to and seems to be enjoying these discussions all seems VERY positive even if all she ever does is cam with M. I stressed to her during this that this is all about her and M and I have agreed to let her drive it. If she says in one or two chat sessions that she isn't yet ready to cam, that is perfectly OK. M and I don't want her to feel any pressure at all. We want her to come to her own realizations. Just like she has with accepting and now starting to enjoy and wanting to indulge in sexy chat with M.
She has also been trying to figure out why she is a little more open to this now. Personally I think it is a mix of hormonal balance shifts from menopause, combined with the fact that she has become more easily aroused by visual stimuli. She used to find it boring to look at pictures and videos of "hot guys". Not anymore... I also believe she has hit a level of sexual maturity that is making her open her mind to the fact that sexual pleasure can be enjoyed in a very large number of ways. She feels that it is also that the past decade has been rough both personally and on a global scale. So she thinks she might have hit a "fuck it... why not?" frame of mind to try and get a little more fun out of life. If that justification helps... I won't argue. But she really does seem to need a reason to justify it and I think she prefers it to be external rather than internal. That social programming of the "good girl/woman/wife" is a big hurdle to overcome in this lifestyle.
So my last thoughts for the day: I think she is much closer than ever before. I don't want to get my hopes up, so I am playing it cool. I also have gotten some indication from her that M might be a one time only thing (camming) especially if he only wants that once (I don't think he only wants that once). She also seems to feel the same if M became a real life action thing. Because of those being her current limits in her mind, I am not letting myself get carried away and assuming anything about her reactions of feelings unless she tells me something clearly. And finally... the sex between us the past few weeks has been REALLY hot. Just as hot as when she was fucking her college ex while we dated. (There was even a bonus there this weekend. She explained the reason that happened with her ex was there was some "unfinished business" between them. I guessed but didn't know for sure. Now I do!) Because of all of this I am reminding myself constantly to "enjoy the ride" no matter where it leads. Thanks so much to many of you who post advice here and in other threads. A lot of it has helped make her a little more comfortable with the notion of hotwifing. With any luck she could change her mind someday. But... one step at a time!
Fun to share her. Hope folks enjoy. If I get really lucky maybe I will eventually have an "our story" link too. But I am not holding my breath.