Wife going away with her gf for a few days

[brisfun1980]

My wife is heading away for a few days with a girlfriend to Portugal and this will be her first trip away from me and the children since before they were born .. 12+ years ago. We've talked in depth about hotwife/sharing and made good progress in exploring but she's still on the fence with a mix of anxiety, self-consciousness and how it doesn't fit with her personality.

For now we role play a lot with toys in bed, or she'll send me pics saying XYZ just finished and left, etc - so she's really into the fantasy and happy to satisfy me.

This trip away is an opportunity to really see how it feels for her to be away from the drama of everyday life and if anything happened it would be amazing. I started to plan some challenges (eg; go braless for the day, say hi to a guy at the bar, sunbathe nude, etc) and my mind started racing but the reality though is she'll be with one of her good friends and she has said she's not interested.

So I dialed all of that back and will simple tell her she can do whatever she wants while she's away and to make sure she enjoys herself. I feel like every now and then us husbands/boyfriends need to take a step back and not push the point and I feel almost a sense of achievement in doing it

[Long Lurker 34]

My wife is heading away for a few days with a girlfriend to Portugal and this will be her first trip away from me and the children since before they were born .. 12+ years ago. We've talked in depth about hotwife/sharing and made good progress in exploring but she's still on the fence with a mix of anxiety, self-consciousness and how it doesn't fit with her personality.

For now we role play a lot with toys in bed, or she'll send me pics saying XYZ just finished and left, etc - so she's really into the fantasy and happy to satisfy me.

This trip away is an opportunity to really see how it feels for her to be away from the drama of everyday life and if anything happened it would be amazing. I started to plan some challenges (eg; go braless for the day, say hi to a guy at the bar, sunbathe nude, etc) and my mind started racing but the reality though is she'll be with one of her good friends and she has said she's not interested.

So I dialed all of that back and will simple tell her she can do whatever she wants while she's away and to make sure she enjoys herself. I feel like every now and then us husbands/boyfriends need to take a step back and not push the point and I feel almost a sense of achievement in doing it

BF1980 - I predict alot of wine drinking (14 different regions) and eating of very good seafood.

[PaNic]

Yes it’s a hard balance to find between not being too pushy/ obsessive and yet making sure our women really know how delighted we’d be if they went for it. Full credit to you if you’ve achieved that!
Good luck for some exciting fun for you both during her trip...

[brisfun1980]

BF1980 - I predict alot of wine drinking (14 different regions) and eating of very good seafood.

Absolutely! She's already said don't bother calling since she'll be at the pool surrounded by cocktails

[brisfun1980]

Yes it’s a hard balance to find between not being too pushy/ obsessive and yet making sure our women really know how delighted we’d be if they went for it. Full credit to you if you’ve achieved that!
Good luck for some exciting fun for you both during her trip...

This is exactly it, too pushy last time and she went from 100 to -100 in the blink of an eye. So now it's on her terms and if it happens then bonus points otherwise we're happy just playing it out.

[brisfun1980]

Well the trip went perfect for her and for us. I stuck in a letter telling her that although nothing would happen as she's with her friend, I encouraged her to think like she can do anything she wanted without consequences or feeling responsible to us back at home.

Well it worked for her mental game. She said during one point in the trip she was talking to a guy there and she accepted to herself that she would probably have entertained a drink with him and then fantasied about spending then night with him.

She came back reinvigorated and like she had moved forward a step in our HW story. She also acknowledged that we're in our 40s now and if we were going to do anything then it's time sooner rather than later to do it.

Huge win for us!

[SlimScott]

It sounds like things are progressing very well.
You know that you need to go slow. You don't want to have to start all over again!