She's playing along with my fantasy - does that mean she is considering it?

[Itasca]

After years of talking with my lovely wife about my hotwife/sharing fantasy - and years of her saying 'it isn't my fantasy, its yours' - things have changed in the last few months. Whenever she travels alone, I bring it up and she plays along with me...sending me suggestive texts, etc. Recently during sex, she started talking about her sucking my cock and then having "my friend" come in and fuck her. I, of course, nearly exploded immediately. And last week, just before she left on a short trip by herself (I joined her a couple days after) I said (again, during sex) that I'd be imagining her flirting with another guy, and she said "uh huh" and then I said "and you touching his arm" and she said "yes" and then I kind of jumped forward and said "you have amazing nipples" as if I were him, touching her for the first time (she does have smaller breasts and prominent nipples which were very hard) and then I jumped farther ahead and said "and then he is fucking you so good" and she said "sooo good" and it was such a turn on, for both of us and our sex that night was awesome.

Fast forward to me joining her on her trip after a few days, going out for dinner and then to a club. Long story short, she'd noticed a guy with the band and had said something like 'there's my boyfriend' so I knew she thought he was handsome. A bit later I got up to go to the bathroom, and, as he was taking a break, I leaned over and told him that she was a fan of his, and 'why don't you go over and say hello' - he jumped right up and went over and sat down by her. I actually waited a while before coming back, to give them some time. When he saw me return (after I watched them together for a bit) he got up and went back to his seat. She thought it was great and told me she'd touched his arm - to me, that kind of touch is an indication of sexual interest in a person. It made me wonder if he knew what was going on.

She is becoming more confident, sexier, more open and - in some ways, I think - even happier since she has started this. And our sex is fantastic. After that night at the club we had wonderful sex, and again in the morning.

I don't know what to think, other than to be incredibly grateful, and who needs Viagra when your wife can do dirty talk so well? But does this recent activity suggest anything else? We have a European trip planned for next summer and at one point she said "maybe it will happen in France" - is she seriously considering it?

Just having her acknowledge my fantasy and also seem to be enjoying it herself is a step forward, I think. I still would love to see something happen but am trying to enjoy where we are and not be too obsessed with it, though inside of my head, it is on my mind all the time.

[hubudig2]

Don't count your chickens but "your" fantasy will generally become a journey for both of you to share.
She's playing along right now but each time she does and she sees the affect it has on you, it'll make her feel good that she can do that for you.
That'll make playing along enjoyable for her and she'll probably want to push it further to see how far the rabbit hole goes.
All the other good experiences like you mentioned will boost her confidence and make her feel sexy.
Eventually "playing along" will take on a new meaning.
Just keep it fun, positive and enjoyable for her. Don't pressure her, shower her with love in return and there's no reason to think she won't continue to push both of your boundaries.

[Itasca]

Thanks, hubudig2 - that is great advice and counsel and I hope you're right! I appreciate your words.

[leggysman]

Seems like there's a good chance this will happen, if you play your cards right. Sounds like she's warming up to the idea

inside of my head, it is on my mind all the time.

Yeah, this kink is like that

[Itasca]

Thanks!

[tiedyeHotwife]

Yes.
Its a progression.

I played along - until I was ready to do it.

Enjoy the ride. Don't rush it.

[aztd]

Maybe considering it or just having fun with it. Time will tell, enjoy the ride

[PlayboyFan]

Excellent progress if you ask me. The fantasy talk is fun for sure, and typically its acceptance is a good sign based on the hundreds of journey stories I have followed over the years here on the board.

You certainly have good reason to be enjoying this new activity and its great for you both. The most encouraging info that you shared however, was the interaction with the man from the band. That was a bold and very smart move on your part. Well played Sir! Its hard to overstate how significant that small episode could be in your eventual journey.

Transference from bedroom dirty-talk to an actual other man is a huge stumbling block for most. The prevalence of stories that center on wives who are willing to play along with bedroom fantasy but absolutely refuse to take it further is the bane of probably 75% of the wannabes.

If I may, perhaps I can offer a small suggestion. The better gauge on your recent progress and its potential meaning is to take the discussion out of the bedroom and see how it plays. Perhaps you can lean on that episode with the guy in the band.

Someday when she is at work, you send a playful text. Something like: “Hey, you want to know what I haven’t been able to get out of my mind all day today?…. She replies: “No. What?”…..”You: I keep replaying in my mind walking back from the bathroom and hoping that guy from the band was still talking to you. I literally stalled for a while hoping to make your encounter with him last longer.”

I think you can imagine where this convo could go.

If she only says “You’re silly” and nothing more…..at least she will smile to herself and be reassured yet again that there is something powerful at work here and you think about it even when she is at work.

If she bites on it and plays along…..imagine where you could go with it.

Anyway, good luck. You are on the right track.

PBF

[Itasca]

Thanks, PBF! Your words are encouraging. We have, in fact, talked about that experience with the guy from the band a couple of times. Last night as we sat in the living room between trick and treaters, I asked what they'd talked about and she smiled and said "nothing weird, just small talk" and I said "but you touched him" and she said "yes, I often touch men when I'm talking to them" (again, my understanding of a touch like that during a conversation is that it indicates trust, as well as a possibly subconscious desire to go farther) - but, get this: right before we sat down, she said "I've been very horny...and I had a sexy dream last night..." but we were not in a position to talk about it more. There is no doubt in my mind that she is now turned on by this fantasy and game playing. I'll ask her today what the dream was about.

[PlayboyFan]

Thanks, PBF! Your words are encouraging. We have, in fact, talked about that experience with the guy from the band a couple of times. Last night as we sat in the living room between trick and treaters, I asked what they'd talked about and she smiled and said "nothing weird, just small talk" and I said "but you touched him" and she said "yes, I often touch men when I'm talking to them" (again, my understanding of a touch like that during a conversation is that it indicates trust, as well as a possibly subconscious desire to go farther) - but, get this: right before we sat down, she said "I've been very horny...and I had a sexy dream last night..." but we were not in a position to talk about it more. There is no doubt in my mind that she is now turned on by this fantasy and game playing. I'll ask her today what the dream was about.

Excellent. Really encouraging.

Not sure if she works at a job where she can send and receive an occasional text without causing a problem, but texting her in similar fashion to what I indicated above would be telling. Without your physical presence, your words alone would have to convey your naughty thoughts and she would use her imagination to respond.

You are doing vey well. What would she say to filling it an anonymous online profile with a fake name on a hookup site together, and reviewing the interested guys that send her messages? Thats harmless enough and also brings in the reality of an interested guy. Very powerful.

PBF

[Itasca]

I’m not sure she is ready for that, though I know she enjoys the attention of men. But I’ll consider it- I really don’t want to rush this or pressure her. I am also positive that she’d get a lot of men checking her out - she is very attractive in all ways - really a delight. But I also know that this is a huge thing for a married, classy, professional woman who has been socialized all her life to not be “trashy” or “slutty.” We’ve talked a lot about marriage and what it can be if both partners want something. Thanks for the opportunity to “talk” about this - I have lots of good friends but none I could talk about this with - at least I don’t think I do!

[Long Lurker 34]

Thanks, PBF! Your words are encouraging. We have, in fact, talked about that experience with the guy from the band a couple of times. Last night as we sat in the living room between trick and treaters, I asked what they'd talked about and she smiled and said "nothing weird, just small talk" and I said "but you touched him" and she said "yes, I often touch men when I'm talking to them" (again, my understanding of a touch like that during a conversation is that it indicates trust, as well as a possibly subconscious desire to go farther) - but, get this: right before we sat down, she said "I've been very horny...and I had a sexy dream last night..." but we were not in a position to talk about it more. There is no doubt in my mind that she is now turned on by this fantasy and game playing. I'll ask her today what the dream was about.

I - You could consider following the band, see where they are playing and sort of use that and perhaps go and see them a few times. You never know.

[philxxo]

This all sounds very promising to me. I would just go with the flow. Edging up a little bit each time. Sounds like she is just testing the waters to see how you react. Maybe she is thinking about it more now. The idea that she could have a number of sexy men and you will be totally OK with it. If you don't mess up then maybe she will go a little bit further. If you could convince her how much fun it would be to get on an app then I think you would be almost there.

[BBCfan]

I must say it aroused me to hear the way your wife plays along with you.

When I initially brought the idea up to my wife she played along at first but then got a bit bored with it and I believe I pushed a bit too hard anyway.

Fast forward a few years after me letting it go and keeping it to myself, it re-emerged this year when an old flame reached out to reconnect.

Now she is initiating the fantasy talk and seriously considering moving forward with it, so I like your chances.
Look forward to hearing how things progress.