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Fantasy or reality please help with next step

Posted: Sat Sep 21, 2024 3:44 pm
by two4more
Greetings
I believe I have posted the wrong forum earlier, and reposting it to the correct forum. What I am trying to find out if she is just role playing my fantasy or has genuine interest.

We have been married for 15 years . She is 41 y old, quite attractive but conservative while I am 10 years older and into open relationships. We had active sex life until about a year ago, as she become rarely satisfied. I have tried to spice up sex life gradually. We have watched porn together and gradually introduced MFM and then gangbangs porn including IR gangbangs which spark her interest. One time she indicated that she loves gangbang porn. at another time while watching a threesome with DP, She said : I want to be fucked like that- I have Introduced a black dildo which she enjoys in bedroom and more often climax while watching IR porn. She has gone commando in Sundress few times and seems to enjoy.

Recently after having sex, I asked her if she is interested in MFM threesome. To my surprise she said : when I feel better about myself ( though she is fit and in excellent shape., excercise daily). Next day she started role play. I commented on a new dress she was wearing- you look gorgeous- , she replied in a teasing way, it is not for you.

More recently, She randomly selected a porn movie. The wife in the movie asks three black men to her apartment. I was asking her to describe the scene while having sex. and during the description, she said: I know you like that, this is your type of movie.

My question if this is all fantasy and roleplay or if she is ready. If she is ready what is next step? I don't like to coerce her into something she is not interested in

Re: Fantasy or reality please help with next step

Posted: Sat Sep 21, 2024 6:38 pm
by Pufferfish
It may be difficult for you to tell if she's genuinely interested or playing along... but it's impossible for us to know. That being said, there is a genuine enjoyment she is getting from these scenarios, either that enjoyment comes from her "acting" so as to help satisfy you, which gives her great enjoyment, or she simply enjoys the fantasy as much as you do. It's impossible to know how she feels about it unless you ask her.

Prior to my own wife jumping into the lifestyle, she too was insanely self conscious about her appearance, and wanted to get into better shape before meeting someone else. She gained a great deal of self confidence once she actually started talking, flirting, and meeting/kissing other guys. So you can help that aspect along by helping her see that she's attractive to other men. Whether that's by dressing up and going out to dinner and dancing or something, and pointing out when other men are checking her out, having her make a dating profile to flirt, posting sexy pictures (maybe without her face) online, or some other activity, it should help.

For advice, I'd recommend just doing something special for her. Surprise her with a nice homemade dinner with candles, flowers, dessert, etc. She's bound to ask why, and when she does that's your opportunity to bring it up. Describe how much you love how "into" the fantasy she's seemed lately. Tell her how she's driving you crazy with how sexy she is and how much you are fantasizing about this. Tell her how much you appreciate her. And somewhere along the way you can work in that you aren't sure how much of it she really wants to do and how much is pretend and maybe she'll open up about it. The more you open up to her about what you like, and show her how much you love and support her getting into it, the further she'll want to go.

Re: Fantasy or reality please help with next step

Posted: Sun Sep 22, 2024 2:17 am
by frank12
Pufferfish wrote:
Sat Sep 21, 2024 6:38 pm
... snip...
And somewhere along the way you can work in that you aren't sure how much of it she really wants to do and how much is pretend and maybe she'll open up about it. The more you open up to her about what you like, and show her how much you love and support her getting into it, the further she'll want to go.
As Pufferfish notes, discussing it openly is a good idea, you may be surprised how well it works to bring it directly into your loving conversations.

Prof Wood

Re: Fantasy or reality please help with next step

Posted: Wed Oct 02, 2024 8:16 am
by olive2a
two4more wrote:
Sat Sep 21, 2024 3:44 pm
Greetings
I believe I have posted the wrong forum earlier, and reposting it to the correct forum. What I am trying to find out if she is just role playing my fantasy or has genuine interest.

We have been married for 15 years . She is 41 y old, quite attractive but conservative while I am 10 years older and into open relationships. We had active sex life until about a year ago, as she become rarely satisfied. I have tried to spice up sex life gradually. We have watched porn together and gradually introduced MFM and then gangbangs porn including IR gangbangs which spark her interest. One time she indicated that she loves gangbang porn. at another time while watching a threesome with DP, She said : I want to be fucked like that- I have Introduced a black dildo which she enjoys in bedroom and more often climax while watching IR porn. She has gone commando in Sundress few times and seems to enjoy.

Recently after having sex, I asked her if she is interested in MFM threesome. To my surprise she said : when I feel better about myself ( though she is fit and in excellent shape., excercise daily). Next day she started role play. I commented on a new dress she was wearing- you look gorgeous- , she replied in a teasing way, it is not for you.

More recently, She randomly selected a porn movie. The wife in the movie asks three black men to her apartment. I was asking her to describe the scene while having sex. and during the description, she said: I know you like that, this is your type of movie.

My question if this is all fantasy and roleplay or if she is ready. If she is ready what is next step? I don't like to coerce her into something she is not interested in
Hi.
For me, the most importante thing is to appreciate to have sex whith her.
Whatever if she play a role.
Step by step, she will make her choise.
But she thinks about it, that's for sure !