Hello!
This is my first post and i want to write about my girlfriend Lisa and i.
I am, what you call, a wannabe.
Before i start describing our situation, a little background. Lisa is 26 and i am 25. We live in the beautiful capital of Austria, Vienna. We both came here to study and Lisa already started to work after graduating, me on the other hand need some more time at the university. Although we more or the less knew each other since childhood, we were never close till our teenage years. This came, because we grew up in the same small village and it was small enough that you know nearly everyone. At the teenage years we both attended different schools but there was this fateful party one summer as i was 15 and Lisa started a conversation with me what leaded to finally dating this incredible girl. Lisa was very popular in her school, me in mine, but i never thought that she had any interest in me. Big surprise.
We started dating 10 years ago and explored the universe of sexual things over the years. We were both virgins, but this was only for a short time into our dating. Since then we learned many different things. We have much in common, for example our birthday, but Lisa in one year older. We never had sex with anybody else, just the two of us. This is always a big fun in our circle of friends, because it is kind of unusual among our friends. But we like it and dating such a beautiful incredible girl is far enough for me.
To describe Lisa's physical appearance: She is 175cm (me 180cm), blonde hair, blue eyes, long legs, tight butt, smallish breast. The perfect package. We spend much time at the gym and doing sports. Lisa get hit on by guys constantly. Sometimes even by girls. Me too, but Lisa is very jealous and it is sometimes stressful for me to show her that this girls do nothing for me. But of course it is an ego boost.
Friends of us, a very good friend of Lisa she knows from university, lives in a poly realtionship with two guys. This is one of the things that brought me here and in my wannabe status.
The other thing is that in the last year i somehow found cuckold porn interesting and, unknown to Lisa, it unfolded some ideas.
Lisa doesn't know anything about my new interest and that is where i stand now.
Not knowing how to approach. Not knowing if this is a good idea. Not knowing in which direction this will go.
Lisa! Will she?
-
best_friend
- Experienced
- Posts: 172
- Joined: Mon Aug 17, 2020 9:10 am
Re: Lisa! Will she?
Welcome to this wonderful world of cuckoldry. May i ask the question, if you already know in which direction you are tending. More in the poly world or in the classic hotwife lifestyle? Or in the kinky cuckold universe?
It's not really the case that categorization is particularly important as long as you know what you want.
You will get some advices here, probably not always particularly objective, but it is a great community with a lot of cool guys around.
Always think of being honest to yourself and to your girlfriend Lisa and enjoy the ride what is called life.
It's not really the case that categorization is particularly important as long as you know what you want.
You will get some advices here, probably not always particularly objective, but it is a great community with a lot of cool guys around.
Always think of being honest to yourself and to your girlfriend Lisa and enjoy the ride what is called life.
Re: Lisa! Will she?
No, i don't know the direction. I don't even know if i should go this way. On one hand i find it exctremly erotic. The thought of Lisa wrapping her legs around someone else makes me feel real lustful.
But i don't want to jeopardise our good relationship. We know each other for so long and normally don't have any secrets from each other. But in this case I haven't told her anything. I don't know how to approach it and what she will think.
In the past we tried different things to lighten up our sex life. We did most of the things two people can do. But we never discussed bringing a third person into our life. In this case another man.
Lisa is kind of open minded when it comes to sex. She had the lead when we first slept together ten years ago. It was her who made the first step. It was a dream come true for me. This popular girl not only dated me, but she also was in love with me. She said that I was the only one she wanted to have sex with.
Lisa's open minded attidude to sex doesn't involve any more people as far as I know. Her special fetish, if you could call it that way, is cum. She loves it. She loves sucking me off and me coming on her, in her, everywhere. She likes my taste, she likes to play with her pussy after I came in her, she likes to lick it up her fingers. You name it.
My focus on masturbating and watching porn is now exclusively on the cuckold topic. But there is only few good one around. Lisa knows that I'm masturbating to porn and I know she is doing the same. Not always, but sometimes. We don't talk much about what we watch while doing so, but a while ago we talked about it. Lisa told me then that she even liked watching guys cum when watching porn. That's her point. We nearly never watch ponr together. That is something Lisa doesn't like and i have to say, I don't necessarily have to do it either.
Maybe something to our being virgins when we met. It is true, kind of. My only experience was kissing and groping some girls before we started being exclusively. When we had our first time it was a disaster. Two young kids not knowing what to do. On Lisa's side there was no blood as i broke her hymen. She explained it to me doing lot's of sports.
Lisa also had only sex with me. But there is something else what happened.
When Lisa was a young kid, 12 or 13, she had her cousins stay for the holidays at her family. Her cousins were twins, fraternal twins. A boy and a girl. I met them years later because they moved away.
This cousins were the same age of Lisa and Lisa told me after some years of dating that the three of them played doctor games grewing up. This particular summer they found Lisa's mom's vibrator. I know this is going to be a little gross and I hope not to violate any rules of the forum. Lisa confessed that it might be possible that her cousin broke her hymen with the vibrator as he was using it on both of the girls.
Lisa is still very ashamed what happened and we don't talk about it anymore.
The other thing. When Lisa was already studying and I was still in school, this one year, we haven't seen much of each other. This was a year I thought that we might break up, but we didn't. Anyway, this year Lisa was at a party and got a little bit drunk. There was this female friend of her and the two of them ended up kissing and making out a little bit. According to Lisa they didn't undress but felt each other up. After this event Lisa told me with tears in her eyes what happened and that she felt very sorry for it. I felt sorry that I haven't had the opportunity to watch, but didn't tell her so. This event has definitely contributed to the fact that she doesn't want to make out with girls anymore. She said that she once tried it, after all it gave nothing to her and it will never happen again.
I just wanted to tell it to explain Lisa's attidude towards sex. She is adventurous to a certain degree.
Sorry for writing so much and not even knowing if there will come much in the future.
But i don't want to jeopardise our good relationship. We know each other for so long and normally don't have any secrets from each other. But in this case I haven't told her anything. I don't know how to approach it and what she will think.
In the past we tried different things to lighten up our sex life. We did most of the things two people can do. But we never discussed bringing a third person into our life. In this case another man.
Lisa is kind of open minded when it comes to sex. She had the lead when we first slept together ten years ago. It was her who made the first step. It was a dream come true for me. This popular girl not only dated me, but she also was in love with me. She said that I was the only one she wanted to have sex with.
Lisa's open minded attidude to sex doesn't involve any more people as far as I know. Her special fetish, if you could call it that way, is cum. She loves it. She loves sucking me off and me coming on her, in her, everywhere. She likes my taste, she likes to play with her pussy after I came in her, she likes to lick it up her fingers. You name it.
My focus on masturbating and watching porn is now exclusively on the cuckold topic. But there is only few good one around. Lisa knows that I'm masturbating to porn and I know she is doing the same. Not always, but sometimes. We don't talk much about what we watch while doing so, but a while ago we talked about it. Lisa told me then that she even liked watching guys cum when watching porn. That's her point. We nearly never watch ponr together. That is something Lisa doesn't like and i have to say, I don't necessarily have to do it either.
Maybe something to our being virgins when we met. It is true, kind of. My only experience was kissing and groping some girls before we started being exclusively. When we had our first time it was a disaster. Two young kids not knowing what to do. On Lisa's side there was no blood as i broke her hymen. She explained it to me doing lot's of sports.
Lisa also had only sex with me. But there is something else what happened.
When Lisa was a young kid, 12 or 13, she had her cousins stay for the holidays at her family. Her cousins were twins, fraternal twins. A boy and a girl. I met them years later because they moved away.
This cousins were the same age of Lisa and Lisa told me after some years of dating that the three of them played doctor games grewing up. This particular summer they found Lisa's mom's vibrator. I know this is going to be a little gross and I hope not to violate any rules of the forum. Lisa confessed that it might be possible that her cousin broke her hymen with the vibrator as he was using it on both of the girls.
Lisa is still very ashamed what happened and we don't talk about it anymore.
The other thing. When Lisa was already studying and I was still in school, this one year, we haven't seen much of each other. This was a year I thought that we might break up, but we didn't. Anyway, this year Lisa was at a party and got a little bit drunk. There was this female friend of her and the two of them ended up kissing and making out a little bit. According to Lisa they didn't undress but felt each other up. After this event Lisa told me with tears in her eyes what happened and that she felt very sorry for it. I felt sorry that I haven't had the opportunity to watch, but didn't tell her so. This event has definitely contributed to the fact that she doesn't want to make out with girls anymore. She said that she once tried it, after all it gave nothing to her and it will never happen again.
I just wanted to tell it to explain Lisa's attidude towards sex. She is adventurous to a certain degree.
Sorry for writing so much and not even knowing if there will come much in the future.
Re: Lisa! Will she?
It’ll be fun to see how this plays out!
-
athlete915
- Experienced
- Posts: 129
- Joined: Thu Dec 14, 2023 10:42 am
Re: Lisa! Will she?
Sema,
Welcome to OHW.
I can understand your concern about keeping a secret from her, but doing so is totally understandable, so don't beat yourself up. You're obviously still wrestling with your feelings and desires, so in many ways, it would be premature to open up to her. The first step for wannabes is just admitting their desires to themselves.
Before you move toward opening up to Lisa, I would ask yourself some questions. First, is this just one of many sexual fantasies for you or has it become your dominant fantasy? Do you only think about it when you are aroused or has it begun creeping into your thoughts at other times? Do you think about her with others even when you are intimate with her? Finally, how long have you had these fantasies for?
If it is one of many or not that intense of a desire, it's probably not worth the risk to open up about it. Keep it your own personal fantasy. If it has become your primary fantasy and you find yourself thinking about it often, I would suggest that it may be worth it to you.
While you are examining your own feelings, take some time to ask yourself what you want. I could give you a laundry list of topics to consider, but here are a few. What kind of guy(s) would you want for her? Would you want her to have one night stands or ongoing relationships? Would you like to watch or let her play alone? In short, what would be your must-haves, want-to-haves, concerns, and red lines?
(All of those will likely change and evolve over time, but you should have some sort of a starting point before talking to her)
In what I read about your relationship, a great sign is that you don't see playing as a fix to a broken relationship. Instead, you see it as an enhancement to an otherwise great relationship. I always tell prospective couples that I am there to enhance their otherwise happy marriages, not fix broken ones. So, you're at a good starting point.
If you decide you want to talk to Lisa about it, don't feel like you have to come right out and tell her everything. You can use your poly friends or share some cuckold porn just to test the waters. See how she reacts. If it goes well, use it to start further discussions. If not, you didn't do anything that will hurt your relationship.
Keep in mind that there are so many different ways that this can go. Just because you two talk about it and even enjoy the fantasy doesn't mean you ever have to act on it. Don't rush things. Don't put pressure on yourself. Just take it one step at a time and enjoy the ride.
Last, but not least, Lisa is extremely sexy. Thank you for including the picture in your profile. Fantastic body.
Welcome to OHW.
I can understand your concern about keeping a secret from her, but doing so is totally understandable, so don't beat yourself up. You're obviously still wrestling with your feelings and desires, so in many ways, it would be premature to open up to her. The first step for wannabes is just admitting their desires to themselves.
Before you move toward opening up to Lisa, I would ask yourself some questions. First, is this just one of many sexual fantasies for you or has it become your dominant fantasy? Do you only think about it when you are aroused or has it begun creeping into your thoughts at other times? Do you think about her with others even when you are intimate with her? Finally, how long have you had these fantasies for?
If it is one of many or not that intense of a desire, it's probably not worth the risk to open up about it. Keep it your own personal fantasy. If it has become your primary fantasy and you find yourself thinking about it often, I would suggest that it may be worth it to you.
While you are examining your own feelings, take some time to ask yourself what you want. I could give you a laundry list of topics to consider, but here are a few. What kind of guy(s) would you want for her? Would you want her to have one night stands or ongoing relationships? Would you like to watch or let her play alone? In short, what would be your must-haves, want-to-haves, concerns, and red lines?
(All of those will likely change and evolve over time, but you should have some sort of a starting point before talking to her)
In what I read about your relationship, a great sign is that you don't see playing as a fix to a broken relationship. Instead, you see it as an enhancement to an otherwise great relationship. I always tell prospective couples that I am there to enhance their otherwise happy marriages, not fix broken ones. So, you're at a good starting point.
If you decide you want to talk to Lisa about it, don't feel like you have to come right out and tell her everything. You can use your poly friends or share some cuckold porn just to test the waters. See how she reacts. If it goes well, use it to start further discussions. If not, you didn't do anything that will hurt your relationship.
Keep in mind that there are so many different ways that this can go. Just because you two talk about it and even enjoy the fantasy doesn't mean you ever have to act on it. Don't rush things. Don't put pressure on yourself. Just take it one step at a time and enjoy the ride.
Last, but not least, Lisa is extremely sexy. Thank you for including the picture in your profile. Fantastic body.
Re: Lisa! Will she?
You mentioned that Lisa has a close friend who is in a poly relationship with two guys. Did she express any curiosity about how such a relationship works? Was she judgmental about it, or was she tolerant?
Re: Lisa! Will she?
One thing is clear, you two are not ready for her to be intimate with somebody else. I don’t mean that as an insult or put down! The first thing you need to do is start opening up your communication. If you can’t communicate openly and honestly, then you will be playing with a hand grenade if she starts getting intimate with others.
Start with something you already know and go from there. Next time you play together, put on some porn as foreplay and have it be a guy stroking himself and then cumming. Get her to talk about what’s hot about it, tell her to imagine he’s doing it for her, and ask her how it makes her feel to see a guy hard for her, stroking for her, cumming for her. Then, talk about the experience afterwards, outside of a sexual time, such as over coffee or a meal, to get comfortable talking about desires openly.
Start with something you already know and go from there. Next time you play together, put on some porn as foreplay and have it be a guy stroking himself and then cumming. Get her to talk about what’s hot about it, tell her to imagine he’s doing it for her, and ask her how it makes her feel to see a guy hard for her, stroking for her, cumming for her. Then, talk about the experience afterwards, outside of a sexual time, such as over coffee or a meal, to get comfortable talking about desires openly.
Re: Lisa! Will she?
Thank you all for this advice and your thoughts about Lisa and myself.
Yes it is a big trouble for me to hide anything from Lisa. We are very close when it comes to what we tell each other. Lisa is and will always be my rock. A few years ago I was struggling with my studies, thought about quitting and getting a job. Lisa was the one who was there for me with all her endless empathy and I made it through this valley of my life. Lisa can read my mind. She has this ability. I also notice it if something is wrong with her.
If you summarise my feelings about lying or telling the truth I don't want to lie to her. She doesn't deserve it. I have to talk to her, but I simply don't know how to approach this stuff.
We seldom or nearly never watch porn together. It never happened many times and this is the way it is. We both know that we watch it when being on our own, we talk about it, not much. What can be said is that nobody has a problem with this kind of stimulation when being alone. I tell this because it would be something new and unfimiliar to watch porn together after so many years not doing it. .This maybe sounds stupid. I don't know if i would feel comfortable to do it that way.
Maybe it is easier to say what I don't want than what I want. What I know for sure is that I don't want to share Lisa emotionally. I don't want her to fall in love with someone. That means, if you take the idea further, that I'm not interested in poly either. The point it, I don't want to loose Lisa. Playing with love and emotional stuff this could happen. Maybe I'm naive, I simply don't think that you can fall in love from an one night stand. Casual sex would minimze the risk of falling in love. She did not express any curiosity about how such a relationship works. We talked about it in the past, more in an analytic sense. The poly realtionship of our friends is a very good friend of Lisa living with two guys. We both know them and they don't hide their thing. But what I think about this specific situation is that it can't go well in the long run. I get the impression that they're doing it because it's fashionable. Somehow they don't make an authentic impression on me either. It's difficult for me to explain what I suspect.
What we know about the sex is that they the female part switches between them and there is seldom a threesome. As far as I know the boys aren's bisexual. It was never been said that they are doing anything together. It is a more focused on her poly thing.
Maybe I find a way to talk to Lisa about the sex with two men under the idea of this poly thing of our friends.
My phantasies circle around Lisa having sex with some others. Casual sex. As neither Lisa nor I have ever had sex outside of a relationship, I don't know how she feels about it. It just never happened because we were always together.
Maybe I could talk with her about this. What I would be like to have sex with someone you don't know. My concern is that Lise might understand it wrong and would think about me wanting sex with someone else. You sometimes read this from others who want to start in the lifestyle.
I guess it is important to focus on what I want at first to express my feelings. Of course the main part is what Lisa wants. It will rise or fall with her attidude.
Yes it is a big trouble for me to hide anything from Lisa. We are very close when it comes to what we tell each other. Lisa is and will always be my rock. A few years ago I was struggling with my studies, thought about quitting and getting a job. Lisa was the one who was there for me with all her endless empathy and I made it through this valley of my life. Lisa can read my mind. She has this ability. I also notice it if something is wrong with her.
If you summarise my feelings about lying or telling the truth I don't want to lie to her. She doesn't deserve it. I have to talk to her, but I simply don't know how to approach this stuff.
We seldom or nearly never watch porn together. It never happened many times and this is the way it is. We both know that we watch it when being on our own, we talk about it, not much. What can be said is that nobody has a problem with this kind of stimulation when being alone. I tell this because it would be something new and unfimiliar to watch porn together after so many years not doing it. .This maybe sounds stupid. I don't know if i would feel comfortable to do it that way.
Maybe it is easier to say what I don't want than what I want. What I know for sure is that I don't want to share Lisa emotionally. I don't want her to fall in love with someone. That means, if you take the idea further, that I'm not interested in poly either. The point it, I don't want to loose Lisa. Playing with love and emotional stuff this could happen. Maybe I'm naive, I simply don't think that you can fall in love from an one night stand. Casual sex would minimze the risk of falling in love. She did not express any curiosity about how such a relationship works. We talked about it in the past, more in an analytic sense. The poly realtionship of our friends is a very good friend of Lisa living with two guys. We both know them and they don't hide their thing. But what I think about this specific situation is that it can't go well in the long run. I get the impression that they're doing it because it's fashionable. Somehow they don't make an authentic impression on me either. It's difficult for me to explain what I suspect.
What we know about the sex is that they the female part switches between them and there is seldom a threesome. As far as I know the boys aren's bisexual. It was never been said that they are doing anything together. It is a more focused on her poly thing.
Maybe I find a way to talk to Lisa about the sex with two men under the idea of this poly thing of our friends.
My phantasies circle around Lisa having sex with some others. Casual sex. As neither Lisa nor I have ever had sex outside of a relationship, I don't know how she feels about it. It just never happened because we were always together.
Maybe I could talk with her about this. What I would be like to have sex with someone you don't know. My concern is that Lise might understand it wrong and would think about me wanting sex with someone else. You sometimes read this from others who want to start in the lifestyle.
I guess it is important to focus on what I want at first to express my feelings. Of course the main part is what Lisa wants. It will rise or fall with her attidude.
Re: Lisa! Will she?
Am I interpreting this correctly, that you have already decided to tell your girlfriend and are now just waiting for the right opportunity?
That's a good idea. Because it's most likely to be fulfilling for you if you're both heading in the same direction.
That's a good idea. Because it's most likely to be fulfilling for you if you're both heading in the same direction.
Re: Lisa! Will she?
This feels like a slow burner to me. Don't rush into anything.
I think the porn suggestion above was good. Also as often suggested on other posts, the mojoupgrade questionnaire can be a great way to open the door to expanding horizons. For both of you.
I think the porn suggestion above was good. Also as often suggested on other posts, the mojoupgrade questionnaire can be a great way to open the door to expanding horizons. For both of you.
Re: Lisa! Will she?
We were at a party last evening. Some friends invited us to some food and booze. No dress up style event, just hanging up with friends. Although Lisa didn't dress up she looked amazing in her tight jeans. Such an incredible tight ass. She wore a sweater with an wide neck and it always fell from her shoulder showing she wasn't wearing a bra.
We haven't been on a party for some months, due to various reasons, and thatswhy it was fun to catch up with friends and talk shit and get drunk. Since this girlfriend-sharing/cuckold virus has infected my brain some deeper loops it was the first time we were out together. Thatswhy I was a little bit on needles and watched Lisa interacting with the men there. A few month ago it would not have been any different than a normal party, but with my cuckold wired brain I watched in a different motivation.
Lisa was talking with a guy we don't know very well and i let her some space and just watched. I can't describe what feelings and pictures went through my head. Did she flirt with him? Does she like him? Does she want to taste his cum? Silly questions, I know, but this was going through my head.
What I witnessed, and I hope this was not through the glasses of my current mental state of mind, that she touched his arm a few times and laughed about his silly jokes.
The point is, I simply don't know if she behaved different than normal. It was just my mind that saw it differently.
At home I asked her about him and she was very casual and said nothing that would let me assume that she had any interest in him. And why not? After all, she's in a relationship and isn't looking to (sexually) socialise.
But I found it hot watching her flirt with him.
There is something other worth mentioning. Prior to the party I started a conversation about our poly friends. During this conversation I asked her if she knows if the are doing threesomes. I wrote that as far as I know they don't. But probably Lisa has other further information.
Lisa told me, she doesn't know. Which led me to the question, and this was a hugh step for me, testing the waters so to say, if she would do threesomes with both of them or if she would just skip from one to the other.
Lisa's respond was something that she has doubts that poly relationships work out and that she could only focus emotionally on one person.
I heard the word "emotionally" very well.
Again, this may be heard through the ears of my current girlfriend sharing state of mind, but Lisa focussed on this word: emotionally. She didn't say "sexually".
A few hours later she brought it up on her own and this surprised me and I have to admit I got an erection. She said that she would be interested to know how the two sperms differ from each other.
I didn't ask further questions because I was too nervous to mess up the situation. I'll just let it seep out.
We haven't been on a party for some months, due to various reasons, and thatswhy it was fun to catch up with friends and talk shit and get drunk. Since this girlfriend-sharing/cuckold virus has infected my brain some deeper loops it was the first time we were out together. Thatswhy I was a little bit on needles and watched Lisa interacting with the men there. A few month ago it would not have been any different than a normal party, but with my cuckold wired brain I watched in a different motivation.
Lisa was talking with a guy we don't know very well and i let her some space and just watched. I can't describe what feelings and pictures went through my head. Did she flirt with him? Does she like him? Does she want to taste his cum? Silly questions, I know, but this was going through my head.
What I witnessed, and I hope this was not through the glasses of my current mental state of mind, that she touched his arm a few times and laughed about his silly jokes.
The point is, I simply don't know if she behaved different than normal. It was just my mind that saw it differently.
At home I asked her about him and she was very casual and said nothing that would let me assume that she had any interest in him. And why not? After all, she's in a relationship and isn't looking to (sexually) socialise.
But I found it hot watching her flirt with him.
There is something other worth mentioning. Prior to the party I started a conversation about our poly friends. During this conversation I asked her if she knows if the are doing threesomes. I wrote that as far as I know they don't. But probably Lisa has other further information.
Lisa told me, she doesn't know. Which led me to the question, and this was a hugh step for me, testing the waters so to say, if she would do threesomes with both of them or if she would just skip from one to the other.
Lisa's respond was something that she has doubts that poly relationships work out and that she could only focus emotionally on one person.
I heard the word "emotionally" very well.
Again, this may be heard through the ears of my current girlfriend sharing state of mind, but Lisa focussed on this word: emotionally. She didn't say "sexually".
A few hours later she brought it up on her own and this surprised me and I have to admit I got an erection. She said that she would be interested to know how the two sperms differ from each other.
I didn't ask further questions because I was too nervous to mess up the situation. I'll just let it seep out.
Last edited by sema on Thu Jan 23, 2025 7:48 pm, edited 1 time in total.
-
athlete915
- Experienced
- Posts: 129
- Joined: Thu Dec 14, 2023 10:42 am
Re: Lisa! Will she?
I would suggest that you're not lying. The only reason you haven't told her is because you're still trying to figure things out for yourself. That's very different from intentionally telling her something that isn't true. I believe you will open up to her as you become more comfortable with these feelings and grasp what is that you want.
If you two don't watch porn together and you would be uncomfortable doing so, another alternative would be to send her a link to a video you liked. You both know that one another watches porn, so it wouldn't be a huge leap for you to say that you really liked the video and thought she would like it too. Once she's watched it, you could ask her what she thought about it.
It's okay that you are more sure of what you don't want than what you want. Knowing your red lines is an important part of exploring the lifestyle.
And not wanting her to become emotionally attached is understandable and common within the lifestyle. As you suggested, sticking to one-night stands could be one way to avoid that happening.
In my opinion, there are some downsides to one-night stands. First, sex gets better once you've learned a woman's likes/dislikes and helped her explore her desires. Second, a steady partner gives you the chance to get him tested for STDs, which allows you to go bare. Third, a steady partner could increase how often she can play. Finally, while I am sure you will find plenty of men who are interested in Lisa, finding a guy who is well above average sexually (size, stamina, etc.) is going to be more complicated and usually takes some work.
All of that is why my experiences with couples have been in the form of long-term, steady relationships.
To reduce the risks of emotional attachments, you can look for men who have experience with couples and who understand their roles in those types of relationships.
Is part of your fantasy for Lisa to be with men who are better endowed and great lovers?
Your experience at the party reinforces to me that this is more than just a passing fantasy for you. You're not just fantasizing about it when you're horny. Instead, these feelings and desires are creeping into your day-to-day life. That should give you some confidence that you do want this.
Good job bringing up the poly relationship. Although that's not what you want, it's a great way of testing the waters with her. That's good progress, so try to keep the conversations going.
If you two don't watch porn together and you would be uncomfortable doing so, another alternative would be to send her a link to a video you liked. You both know that one another watches porn, so it wouldn't be a huge leap for you to say that you really liked the video and thought she would like it too. Once she's watched it, you could ask her what she thought about it.
It's okay that you are more sure of what you don't want than what you want. Knowing your red lines is an important part of exploring the lifestyle.
And not wanting her to become emotionally attached is understandable and common within the lifestyle. As you suggested, sticking to one-night stands could be one way to avoid that happening.
In my opinion, there are some downsides to one-night stands. First, sex gets better once you've learned a woman's likes/dislikes and helped her explore her desires. Second, a steady partner gives you the chance to get him tested for STDs, which allows you to go bare. Third, a steady partner could increase how often she can play. Finally, while I am sure you will find plenty of men who are interested in Lisa, finding a guy who is well above average sexually (size, stamina, etc.) is going to be more complicated and usually takes some work.
All of that is why my experiences with couples have been in the form of long-term, steady relationships.
To reduce the risks of emotional attachments, you can look for men who have experience with couples and who understand their roles in those types of relationships.
Is part of your fantasy for Lisa to be with men who are better endowed and great lovers?
Your experience at the party reinforces to me that this is more than just a passing fantasy for you. You're not just fantasizing about it when you're horny. Instead, these feelings and desires are creeping into your day-to-day life. That should give you some confidence that you do want this.
Good job bringing up the poly relationship. Although that's not what you want, it's a great way of testing the waters with her. That's good progress, so try to keep the conversations going.
Re: Lisa! Will she?
Not long ago there was this cool young guy on the forum who called this kind of erection an ICE. An Instand Cuckold Erection.
the long stony way: viewtopic.php?f=6&t=57837
Re: Lisa! Will she?
I don't know if other has similar experinces.
I'm in the following situation that I now interpret everything from the perspective of girlfriend-sharing. My brain is fixed on the topic and every word in this direction by Lisa, every action she sets I think if I can find any hint. Confusing, I have to say.
For example, we had this conversation about the different taste of the cum of various men. Lisa has only tasted mine and likes it. We talked about our poly friends and if the the boys taste different. Lisa is curious.
After this conversation we had sex and Lisa spend much time in blowing me. As I was ready to shoot my load she didn't let go of my penis and made sure to catch everything to the last drop. Was it just me observing with my cuckold brain that she paid particular attention to the “tasting”? She took her time swallowing, letting the cum in her mouth for a few moments. Always looking at me and waiting (?) for a reaction.
After cumming I'm mentally and intellectually not the brightest. I realized many many hours later that I should have taken the opportunity to start a conversation about it.
Another sign that could be intpreted in a special way. Although Lisa climaxed while having sex with me I think she masturbated afterwards. I came to the room later and she was lying there with some of this special dreamy expression and this skin color on her face and neck. Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe not and she is also aroused of our conversation.
I don't know this sounds stupid, probably for the most of you living in vivid hotwife relationships, but for me this is a hugh step and very exciting.
I'm in the following situation that I now interpret everything from the perspective of girlfriend-sharing. My brain is fixed on the topic and every word in this direction by Lisa, every action she sets I think if I can find any hint. Confusing, I have to say.
For example, we had this conversation about the different taste of the cum of various men. Lisa has only tasted mine and likes it. We talked about our poly friends and if the the boys taste different. Lisa is curious.
After this conversation we had sex and Lisa spend much time in blowing me. As I was ready to shoot my load she didn't let go of my penis and made sure to catch everything to the last drop. Was it just me observing with my cuckold brain that she paid particular attention to the “tasting”? She took her time swallowing, letting the cum in her mouth for a few moments. Always looking at me and waiting (?) for a reaction.
After cumming I'm mentally and intellectually not the brightest. I realized many many hours later that I should have taken the opportunity to start a conversation about it.
Another sign that could be intpreted in a special way. Although Lisa climaxed while having sex with me I think she masturbated afterwards. I came to the room later and she was lying there with some of this special dreamy expression and this skin color on her face and neck. Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe not and she is also aroused of our conversation.
I don't know this sounds stupid, probably for the most of you living in vivid hotwife relationships, but for me this is a hugh step and very exciting.
That is an absolut applicable description. It was instant.
-
armyguyot1
- Site Admin
- Posts: 6850
- Joined: Thu Aug 12, 2010 2:25 pm
- Location: Northwest
Re: Lisa! Will she?
You need to hone your skills. Women or at least many can cum multiple times and you should be able to give them to her. I try to make mine cum at least 2 to three times before I let her have my load. I have learn to enjoy hers nearly as much as mine so we have a great time.
-
armyguyot1
- Site Admin
- Posts: 6850
- Joined: Thu Aug 12, 2010 2:25 pm
- Location: Northwest
Re: Lisa! Will she?
You really missed an opportunity to discuss it when she brought it up. Don't waist those times as she is asking so it give you cause to ask for deeper clearer explanations. Ask her if she would be into MFM or FMF. A lot of women would not be into MFM but would go for FMF. A woman doesn't need a reason to have preferences she just has them.
Re: Lisa! Will she?
There is some good advise in your post.athlete915 wrote: ↑Sun Jan 19, 2025 7:05 amI would suggest that you're not lying. The only reason you haven't told her is because you're still trying to figure things out for yourself. That's very different from intentionally telling her something that isn't true. I believe you will open up to her as you become more comfortable with these feelings and grasp what is that you want.
If you two don't watch porn together and you would be uncomfortable doing so, another alternative would be to send her a link to a video you liked. You both know that one another watches porn, so it wouldn't be a huge leap for you to say that you really liked the video and thought she would like it too. Once she's watched it, you could ask her what she thought about it.
It's okay that you are more sure of what you don't want than what you want. Knowing your red lines is an important part of exploring the lifestyle.
And not wanting her to become emotionally attached is understandable and common within the lifestyle. As you suggested, sticking to one-night stands could be one way to avoid that happening.
In my opinion, there are some downsides to one-night stands. First, sex gets better once you've learned a woman's likes/dislikes and helped her explore her desires. Second, a steady partner gives you the chance to get him tested for STDs, which allows you to go bare. Third, a steady partner could increase how often she can play. Finally, while I am sure you will find plenty of men who are interested in Lisa, finding a guy who is well above average sexually (size, stamina, etc.) is going to be more complicated and usually takes some work.
All of that is why my experiences with couples have been in the form of long-term, steady relationships.
To reduce the risks of emotional attachments, you can look for men who have experience with couples and who understand their roles in those types of relationships.
Is part of your fantasy for Lisa to be with men who are better endowed and great lovers?
Your experience at the party reinforces to me that this is more than just a passing fantasy for you. You're not just fantasizing about it when you're horny. Instead, these feelings and desires are creeping into your day-to-day life. That should give you some confidence that you do want this.
Good job bringing up the poly relationship. Although that's not what you want, it's a great way of testing the waters with her. That's good progress, so try to keep the conversations going.
I do have red lines. For me a bright flashing red line is her getting emotionally involved into someone. I would be devastated. Lisa only had sex with me and she was always in love with me. I don't know if she can seperate those two things. What if if she falls in love? I don' t want to loose her and I don't want to risk our realtionship for this phantasy of her being shared.
For Lisa it would be very easy to find sexual partners. She is very outgoing and just drop dead gorgoues. Often guys hit on her and she knows exactly how to get attention. Although she never was in the situation of having one-night-stands I simply don't know if she would like to have one. Her best friend, Sophie, is also in a realtionship for a while and they both share everything. Thatswhy not even she can tell her much of her experiences.
Of course when I am in my little phantasy world of Lisa sharing I think about potential sex partners for her. There are my friends, for example. I know for sure they would give their left nut for having Lisa and I know that one or two are Lisa's type. But what I don't know is if I want to share my emotions with them.
I can't imagine me going over and telling them about it. Or even ask them to have sex with Lisa. That would be creepy.
But the big point is, I don't know what Lisa wants. That is the most important, of course. I have to talk more about it with her.
Re: Lisa! Will she?
Your self-awareness level is very high. That is better than most of us on here.
Re: Lisa! Will she?
Yes, I missed this situation. There will be others and I will be prepared. Like the scouts.armyguyot1 wrote: ↑Thu Jan 23, 2025 8:49 pmYou really missed an opportunity to discuss it when she brought it up. Don't waist those times as she is asking so it give you cause to ask for deeper clearer explanations. Ask her if she would be into MFM or FMF. A lot of women would not be into MFM but would go for FMF. A woman doesn't need a reason to have preferences she just has them.
If I ask her which version of a threesome she would prefer, I know that she will most likely rule out FMF because of her jealousy. For example, we were at the gym recently. I was doing my stuff, Lisa hers. While handling the treadmill I was approached by a chubby talkative redhead short milf. Not my type. Really not my type. It was obvious she wanted something from me. Lisa watched from the distant and gave me a hard time afterwards. Even because I was only polite and talked a little with this woman and it must have been clear that I was not the slightest interested in her, Lisa was upset. It took some time to convince her of my lack of interest. To both of them.
Keeping this in mind it is nearly inpossible to have a threesome with another girl with Lisa. I wouldn't mind. Lisa, well, absolutely not.
Re: Lisa! Will she?
The central essence of a cuckold relationship is the aspect that the female partner is promiscuous and the male partner is not. That's nothing new here.sema wrote: ↑Fri Jan 24, 2025 8:13 pmYes, I missed this situation. There will be others and I will be prepared. Like the scouts.armyguyot1 wrote: ↑Thu Jan 23, 2025 8:49 pmYou really missed an opportunity to discuss it when she brought it up. Don't waist those times as she is asking so it give you cause to ask for deeper clearer explanations. Ask her if she would be into MFM or FMF. A lot of women would not be into MFM but would go for FMF. A woman doesn't need a reason to have preferences she just has them.
If I ask her which version of a threesome she would prefer, I know that she will most likely rule out FMF because of her jealousy. For example, we were at the gym recently. I was doing my stuff, Lisa hers. While handling the treadmill I was approached by a chubby talkative redhead short milf. Not my type. Really not my type. It was obvious she wanted something from me. Lisa watched from the distant and gave me a hard time afterwards. Even because I was only polite and talked a little with this woman and it must have been clear that I was not the slightest interested in her, Lisa was upset. It took some time to convince her of my lack of interest. To both of them.
Keeping this in mind it is nearly inpossible to have a threesome with another girl with Lisa. I wouldn't mind. Lisa, well, absolutely not.
For many people out there in the world, however, it is something new and they are not familiar with what we like. That's why you have to explain it to them. Or simply talk about it.
Lisa probably hasn't heard about our preference here. That doesn't mean she wouldn't like it if she knew about it. After all, you can only like or dislike what you know.
My point is this. She's insecure that you'll find someone else. That you like sex with another female third partner better. That you find the other one prettier. These thoughts that girls have. When ever talking about a threesome, make it clear from the begining, that you are not interested in any FMF-stuff.
By the way: Just learnd the difference about FFM and FMF. Never gave a thought about it before.
FFM/MFF = 2 girls, 1 guy, girls interact with guy, and girls interact with each other
FMF = 2 girls, 1 guy, girls interact with guy, but girls don't interact
Re: Lisa! Will she?
Re: Lisa! Will she?
Yes you are right, understanding your needs before you ask your girlfriend to make big changes in the way relationships work is pretty essential.
-
bbarnsworth
- Experienced
- Posts: 137
- Joined: Wed Mar 27, 2024 4:18 pm
Re: Lisa! Will she?
Yes, you are definitely viewing things through the lens of a cuckold-wannabe. That's understandable. The problem is that you will see things that aren't there, think things that aren't happening. Think of it this way; Lisa sees you talking to the redhead, and her jealousy stirs in her, and she "sees" things that aren't there, "thinks" things that aren't happening. It's the same thing, just from a different perspective. It's quite likely Lisa touched a guy's arm several times in other conversations and you never even noticed it before you began thinking of this cuckold fantasy. It's good you're self aware.
Don't read too much into the "emotionally" vs. "sexually" aspect. There are many (really; the wide majority) of women who do not separate sex and love. They are intertwined. For a woman, having sex with someone is literally taking them into your body. It's a different experience than it is for a man. That alone can drive it to be more emotional than it is for a man. There's plenty of other factors too.
As for moving forward, you are already doing fine. Bringing it up in conversation is good, and you're doing so in a light way. She may be having thoughts about what it would be like to taste another man's cum, and be very troubled because she doesn't want to tell you. Like you, she's afraid of messing up the relationship, afraid of destroying things with you. Society tells us it's not 'normal' for a woman to want to have another man while she's in a healthy relationship with a man. She could be spinning herself in circles trying to figure out why she wants another man when she has you, what does that mean, and all sorts of things.
Moving forward, I would build more trust with her. It's important for her to feel like no matter what she expresses, you will not judge her. Don't make sarcastic comments or jokes about what she says as you delve deeper into her fantasies. Help her to build on her fantasies, express them, explore them, and grow into them. Don't build the fantasy for her. Being a hotwife and making your partner a cuckold is a lot less about the guy than it is about the woman exploring her deepest fantasies. It's HER ride, not yours really. Make this about her exploring herself, and doing so in the context of your relationship with you supporting her 100%. Love her. Love her totally.
Don't try to move this too fast. Move at her pace. Let her grow.
Don't read too much into the "emotionally" vs. "sexually" aspect. There are many (really; the wide majority) of women who do not separate sex and love. They are intertwined. For a woman, having sex with someone is literally taking them into your body. It's a different experience than it is for a man. That alone can drive it to be more emotional than it is for a man. There's plenty of other factors too.
As for moving forward, you are already doing fine. Bringing it up in conversation is good, and you're doing so in a light way. She may be having thoughts about what it would be like to taste another man's cum, and be very troubled because she doesn't want to tell you. Like you, she's afraid of messing up the relationship, afraid of destroying things with you. Society tells us it's not 'normal' for a woman to want to have another man while she's in a healthy relationship with a man. She could be spinning herself in circles trying to figure out why she wants another man when she has you, what does that mean, and all sorts of things.
Moving forward, I would build more trust with her. It's important for her to feel like no matter what she expresses, you will not judge her. Don't make sarcastic comments or jokes about what she says as you delve deeper into her fantasies. Help her to build on her fantasies, express them, explore them, and grow into them. Don't build the fantasy for her. Being a hotwife and making your partner a cuckold is a lot less about the guy than it is about the woman exploring her deepest fantasies. It's HER ride, not yours really. Make this about her exploring herself, and doing so in the context of your relationship with you supporting her 100%. Love her. Love her totally.
Don't try to move this too fast. Move at her pace. Let her grow.
Re: Lisa! Will she?
Now and then I have to deal with Lisa's jealousy. Not always easy for me. I have to admit that I like attention from girls too, I'm just a guy, after all. I like to interact with hot girls but I would never do anything that would affect my realtionship with Lisa. She is gourgoues and has this incredible tight ass I would never want to loose.ccklvr wrote: ↑Sat Jan 25, 2025 2:05 amThe central essence of a cuckold relationship is the aspect that the female partner is promiscuous and the male partner is not. That's nothing new here.sema wrote: ↑Fri Jan 24, 2025 8:13 pmYes, I missed this situation. There will be others and I will be prepared. Like the scouts.armyguyot1 wrote: ↑Thu Jan 23, 2025 8:49 pmYou really missed an opportunity to discuss it when she brought it up. Don't waist those times as she is asking so it give you cause to ask for deeper clearer explanations. Ask her if she would be into MFM or FMF. A lot of women would not be into MFM but would go for FMF. A woman doesn't need a reason to have preferences she just has them.
If I ask her which version of a threesome she would prefer, I know that she will most likely rule out FMF because of her jealousy. For example, we were at the gym recently. I was doing my stuff, Lisa hers. While handling the treadmill I was approached by a chubby talkative redhead short milf. Not my type. Really not my type. It was obvious she wanted something from me. Lisa watched from the distant and gave me a hard time afterwards. Even because I was only polite and talked a little with this woman and it must have been clear that I was not the slightest interested in her, Lisa was upset. It took some time to convince her of my lack of interest. To both of them.
Keeping this in mind it is nearly inpossible to have a threesome with another girl with Lisa. I wouldn't mind. Lisa, well, absolutely not.
For many people out there in the world, however, it is something new and they are not familiar with what we like. That's why you have to explain it to them. Or simply talk about it.
Lisa probably hasn't heard about our preference here. That doesn't mean she wouldn't like it if she knew about it. After all, you can only like or dislike what you know.
My point is this. She's insecure that you'll find someone else. That you like sex with another female third partner better. That you find the other one prettier. These thoughts that girls have. When ever talking about a threesome, make it clear from the begining, that you are not interested in any FMF-stuff.
You are correct, I should focus in my future conversations with her about this: that I'm not interested in any stuff with other girls. Only because it is clear for me, it is not clear for Lisa.
Yes. And no. I mean the lens of a cuckold-wannabe. Of course most of the time it is so. But there was something else, what is probably worth telling and this gives me an other point of view.bbarnsworth wrote: ↑Sat Jan 25, 2025 7:16 pmYes, you are definitely viewing things through the lens of a cuckold-wannabe. That's understandable. The problem is that you will see things that aren't there, think things that aren't happening. Think of it this way; Lisa sees you talking to the redhead, and her jealousy stirs in her, and she "sees" things that aren't there, "thinks" things that aren't happening. It's the same thing, just from a different perspective. It's quite likely Lisa touched a guy's arm several times in other conversations and you never even noticed it before you began thinking of this cuckold fantasy. It's good you're self aware.
Right now we are in our home village for the weekend. Visiting family. While doing so we ran into an former teacher of Lisa with his family. We did some small talk and he was asking how she is doing. With the cuckold-wannabe-lens I saw an insecure little girl version of Lisa. Not the confident and articulate she normally is. Here was a little schoolgirl talking with her teacher whom she adore and find interesting. Hanging on every word he said, laughing hysterically about his jokes.
After we seperated I asked her what was going on. Lisa blushed and said that she had a major crush on him when she was a teenager. I didn't remember it, but after she told me it occurred to me again. Lisa and her best friend in school had huge crushes on him. This was a joke amougst our friends. We already were dating and at that time I was far away of any cuckold thoughts. At this time I was a very confused teenager not knowing what to do and what to feel.
What I want to say is that Lisa found others interesting at a time I was not into this stuff. I didn't see it then.
Re: Lisa! Will she?
Is there something new going on in Vienna?