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Hopeless Cuckold for over twenty years. I discovered with my first wife that I desired to see her with other men. Though at the time she was against it she did however cheat on me later in our marriage with a hung older man. I'll never forget one early morning when she woke me up to tell me she had been going and seeing him to fuck for a few months and I knew nothing about it. She was a stay at home mom and would go see him during the day when kids were in school. After the first day of being upset I confessed to her that I thought it was hot. We would go to bed and she would tell me the details and our sex would be amazing. I never did get to watch her in person and we divorced a few years later.

Now I'm on my second marriage of 13 years. While dating seriously our sex life was hot and heavy and we shared fantasies. Among many I told her about the main one was me desiring to watch my lady be with another man. She asked me what kind of man and I replied a hung older black man. She had never been with a black man and she was brought up that it was wrong. Not her fault but it was true. So I asked her if I could show her some interracial porn and she said yes. We started viewing things together. She was saying she doubted she could do it but was fine watching it and seeing pics. After a week or two I asked her if I could use a BBC dildo on her while she watched some BBC porn and she said yes. I purchased an 8 inch with nice girth realistic BBC dildo. I used it on her while I played a DVD. She came very hard and admitted she was imagining a black man fucking her hard. After this experience I asked her if I could take pics of her in some hot lingerie and make us a profile on a swinger site and show other men her pics. She said yes. One day while being snowed in which isn't that common in Texas she putting on a nice set of garters with stockings and high heels. All black with a black teddy and thong. My wife is extremely voluptuous and she looked amazing. We made the profile that said I was a cuckold and wanted to see my wife fucked by other men. We loaded the hot pics and within a few days she was getting a lot of attention. Many hung men were hitting the inbox. She was hit on by several attractive and not so attractive men. I asked her to go through the messages and see if anything peaked her interest. Remember she's saying it's just fantasy and we won't do this for real. So she shows me some white guys with big dicks and we look at the pics and send responses. That was for a week or so then one day she says hey look at this one he likes to pull hair doggy style and smack your ass. When I went to look it was a black man in Houston. He was fucking a hot blonde from behind and had a hand full of hair. I could tell the pic made her hot. His dick pics were amazing. Probably 10 inches long and thick. I encouraged her to respond to his messages. She chatted with him for a week or so and turns out he was very educated and that attracted my wife. She enjoyed the way he talked to her and I was thinking this is it. This is gonna happen. My angst and nerves were crazy. So we started talking about going to Houston for a weekend and just maybe meeting him for drinks to see what it would be like. Well guess what? I came home one day and she said she wanted me to delete everything and that it was fun but we went far enough and needed to chill for a bit. So I deleted everything and we quit watching IR porn. It went away as fast as it came.

So fast forward and we get engaged then finally marry. We were married almost a year and something happened. I was on the couch one day watching football and a restricted number kept calling my phone. After numerous attempts and me swiping it away I finally answered it. It was a man telling me he had been seeing my wife for months behind my back and I needed to give her up. I was so shocked and taken off guard. I hung up and went to the bedroom and asked my wife about it and she started crying and came clean. She has been seeing this man for 6 months of the first year of our marriage lol. I asked why and she said I accidentally fell for a man at work. I was so blasted but within minutes I started asking her was the sex good and was his cock bigger than mine. She just looked down for a bit and wouldn't look at me but finally said yes. I was so confused. I was hurt but that very day I masturbated to the thoughts of her having sex with him. Needless to say the next few days were insane. She was begging me to stay with her and promising me how much she loved me. So after a week while me and her were texting I told her that I had decided to make this work but in exchange she had to give me details of their sex life. She asked me if I was sure and I said yes. For the next few days I asked and she gave me answers. The feeling is indescribable. How I was hurt by being lied to but yet so damn horny with the details of the sex they had. She obviously enjoyed fucking him and she admitted it to me. I would cum so hard from the things she told me. She actually lied to me two different weekends and went out of town to stay in hotels with him were they fucked continuously.
Fast forward. Our sex life is great. A few years ago she asked if I still had the same fantasies as years ago and I said yes. She said which one and I said you fucking a man in front of me. She just laughed. That led to new pics and us making a profile again. After weeks of fun she went cold again. So I hope this wasn't to much to read and I would love to here from anyone with advice. I am 50 and she is 42. She goes out of state for work 3 or 4 times a year and I always joke about her finding a handsome man.
We recently just this week had pillow talk about her affair but more about the negative side. He wound up being a little psycho and when she broke it off he kinda stalked us a a little while. She talks about regret and how after the new was gone that he turned out to be not so great. Therefore she doesn't really wanna go into detail anymore about the sex because she doesn't want to relive the whole experience.

Thanks for sharing your story.

As everyone here says, communication is key. She opened up to your questions previously. Can she also be open about her desires? Many women have difficulty with that. Maybe not because they fear their husband’s response (granted his emphatic encouragement), but because they’ve been conditioned to believe their desires for extramarital sex are an aberration. And that makes them a “bad woman.” Fear of judgement even in the absence of anyone ready to judge, is a psychological barrier for many people.

Also keep in mind, many women who have affairs do so not so much because of better sex, but because of an emotional need, attention, or want for a greater/new/different/fresh (whatever) emotional experience. I can say this with strong confidence because before I met Shelley, I was the “other guy” in more than a few affairs with married and engaged women. (Mind you, it’s not something I’m very proud of today. But it was very educational.)

Since the affair she had is a sore subject for her and it’s unclear all the reasons she may have engaged in it, I suggest setting it in the past and focusing on the now. What are her desires today? Does she feel safe sharing them? And take it from there.

Thanks for sharing your story Hopeless.
Though not exactly your situation, I had something similar happen to me. I didn't start out as one but have developed into a wannabe after some short term cheating by my wife. Good luck to you and your marriage.

Greg_N_Shelley wrote: ↑

Fri Jan 17, 2025 7:42 pm

Thanks for sharing your story.

As everyone here says, communication is key. She opened up to your questions previously. Can she also be open about her desires? Many women have difficulty with that. Maybe not because they fear their husband’s response (granted his emphatic encouragement), but because they’ve been conditioned to believe their desires for extramarital sex are an aberration. And that makes them a “bad woman.” Fear of judgement even in the absence of anyone ready to judge, is a psychological barrier for many people.

Also keep in mind, many women who have affairs do so not so much because of better sex, but because of an emotional need, attention, or want for a greater/new/different/fresh (whatever) emotional experience. I can say this with strong confidence because before I met Shelley, I was the “other guy” in more than a few affairs with married and engaged women. (Mind you, it’s not something I’m very proud of today. But it was very educational.)

Since the affair she had is a sore subject for her and it’s unclear all the reasons she may have engaged in it, I suggest setting it in the past and focusing on the now. What are her desires today? Does she feel safe sharing them? And take it from there.

Thanks greatly for your response. Yes she has desires and yes she has expressed them. Her main two are 1. Desire to have sex with a women. She wants to go down on a lady and use a strap on also. 2. She wants to watch two men. I told her that I thought it was hot and totally supported her. I've known these since we were dating. I have had sex with a man but never in front of her or since we been married Yes I am bi sexual with a preference to be with a woman as a lifetime partner. When we were dating she found pics on my PC of me with other men. She freaked at first but I was honest about it and we talked and after an hour or so she was ok and wanted to know more. She admitted she thought it was hot. She pegged me two years ago on a weekend get away.
Now I'll tell you how this weekend went I mentioned that she went on a trip for work last week and before she left out of the blue we happen to start talking about her affair briefly and it went from that to discussing a man she thought was good looking that we both know. She admitted to masturbating to the thought of fucking him. He's older and very handsome. She hid her face and I immediately supported it and told her I had done the same thing and we busted out in laughter. There is no way it could happen. Trust me when I say it's impossible. So anyway I tell her that I'm supportive of her being with another man and she responded by saying " but it's adultery." I try to make her understand why I didn't feel that way. We had a masturbation session together through txt and we have never done that in our 13 years. It was awesome. That's when she told me that she liked me sharing my dirty desires. So I asked her dearing our session what she wanted me to tell her she replied " tell me someone you desire other than me that you would want to fuck. So I told her a lady that we both knew " again " and told her I would fuck her good if I had the chance. My wife replied with saying she would love to watch and masturbate. We both came soon and said our " I love you" and went to sleep. So Friday night I came home with wine and a nightie. A lesbian porn DVD. She said what brings this about and I said of course the session we had during the previous week. She said ok and it's fine to have your fantasies and talk about them but I don't wanna try and find someone to play. I said ok no problem. In my mind at least for now. We had amazing sex for two nights. While eating her out Friday night I asked her to tell me her dirty desires. She said she was thinking of me licking her clit while someones dick was in her. She got real worked up then said now he's coming around to put it in your ass. Well it was a great session and we both came very hard. So that is where I am now. Not sure where to go from here but one things for sure. I'm not letting it go this time. I'm gonna stay patient and let this be a slow burn. I honestly think she will do it in the right situation. Oh and last time when we were looking for playmates she was totally turned off most of the men or women that hit on her. Occasionally was someone she took a 2nd look at. Thanks again for your interest. I'll keep y'all updated if you want.

It's really hot all the stuff she'll talk about with you ! that alone would keep me going quite awhile !!!!

We have been having a lot of nice pillow talk lately. Especially concerning her lover from the affair. She is starting to open up about the details more and it's such a turn on. She told me that when they made out he was constantly pulling her panties off and she would pull them back up. But eventually she would give in and fuck. She also is becoming more comfortable admitting the sex was good. I feel like this is a big development in our discussion of this lifestyle. We discussed the lifestyle quite a bit. She expressed her worries about it ending badly and how she was worried that it's outside the marriage. I told her with both of us involved that it wasn't outside our marriage. Also told her that we can play in this lifestyle on a broad spectrum without actually meeting someone in person. She seemed to get more comfortable discussing it as we work through her concerns. I can't tell you how horny our conversation made me. I'm looking forward to the next opportunity to discuss her sexual romps with her past lover.