Our Hotwives

For me, this started 5 or 6 years ago when I came across the idea of Hotwife/cuck. At first I was just curious, nothing I was really into, and slowly grew on me. I found this forum and others to sort through my feelings, desires, and eventually coming around to the idea.

It totally escalated when I actually had a dream. I was on some pain killers post surgery and had a wonderful x rated dream that had my wife on her back with a model like dude. The next day I shared with my wife, and hinted that it was kind of a turn on. She thought it was weird, gross, maybe sick, or off pudding and thought I wanted to be a swinger. All the normal responses to a wife hearing about this for the first time. A few days had past since my disclosure, and she brings up a dream she had of giving head to some stranger. I’m thinking here we go, she has thoughts brewing that could lead to somewhere. That night we were having sex and I gave her details while I was inside her and it was amazing. I had never seen her cum so hard especially when i provided details of the stranger cumming inside her. Anyway, I felt liberated like a weight was off my shoulders And I felt we connected in a crazy wonderful way. Unfortunately, that was the peak of things thus far.

We have talked since a number of times, but it is typically brief and doesn’t amount to much. I often make comments about my average size, her ex BF was very endowed, and even bought an extender to add another element to our sex life. I love the added size but she seems to think it’s not needed. She typically will use a wand to assist, so I’ve always had the feeling she could use more if you know what I mean. I’ve tried exploring her fantasies, but that quickly gets shut down

Part 2 coming…sorry had an unexpected visitor.

As I was saying, my size has always been an issue for me, but she has never made me feel bad about it. It’s average, 6” and ok girth. I’ve never had an issue from my Ex’s and have been with my wife for over 20 years, as I was always very passionate and always made the experience about them. When I bring up the idea that she deserves to be filled and stretched, she typically will say that I feel she isn’t tight enough and eludes that I’m making it about her. This is so far from the truth as I just truly want to make her experience all the things and be fulfilled in every way.

Not sure what I’m looking for. Advice, support, a woman’s insight. I’m open for questions and a strong dialogue. Thanks for reading.

It seems when you approach the subject with her it's in the tone of what she deserves... which is sex with a more well endowed man. Her response is also focused on her in that she thinks you're saying she isn't tight enough.

I think in this case what you need to do is frame it as more about you. Maybe your emphasis should be on that it turns YOU on thinking of it... and that she also gets what you think she needs in a more well endowed partner. I think just framing it as a turn on for you could change the tone of the conversation. It still might be turned down but she'll then maybe understand the true reasons you bring it up.

That’s a good point, and I should definitely do that more. We were actually out to eat Thursday and talking about how we met and the guy she was with when I met her. I made the joke that she prob left with him and went back to his place to fool around. She mentioned maybe and I mentioned how that turned me on. Let her know that imagining her like that was hot. So it has come up, but shifting gears might be a great thought! Thank you!!!

Women experience post nut clarity too. I think that’s why it peaked.

If you want it to be about her pleasure, make sure to demonstrate that in a tangible way. That is how I moved the needle a little with my wife. She still hasn't done a real hotwife thing yet, but she did have an online fling with a younger guy for a while. She's taking a break from that for personal reasons right now. But I can say that anything where we've pushed the envelope has largely been due to me both saying and SHOWING that her pleasure is the primary reason for any of this. Yes, I get something out of it too, but it is clear that anything I get from it would be incidental. For example, I give her full body massages on Monday evenings before we have some play time. It takes effort on my part. But what I get out of it is pretty fucking hot because with her well relaxed she is more likely to go down more extreme and possibly filthy paths than she would otherwise.

Hey thanks for your thoughts. I feel I have communicated how much her pleasure is my pleasure, how I become whole when I see her reach heighten levels of satisfaction. Sometimes I feel like I don’t speak her love language, so I’m trying to better learn what makes her more willing to explore and open up. It’s like I know she has this wild side but she doesn’t want to admit it for some reason. Almost like she’s ashamed of have deep sexual thoughts. Good news is she knows I am turned on by the thought of her with someone else. She sent me a snap this week of her “confessing” she had a thing for another man…went on to say how much he fills her up and satisfies her. This went on for a minute or two, then holds up a take out bag from lunch to confess his name which was on the box. Anyway it was cute banter goating me about my wish for her. Small victories I guess. I made sure she knew I was a bit turned on and bantered back that it brings me happiness know mow much he “the meal” filled her up and satisfied her. Having another man’s meat in her mouth…you see where I’m going with this. Anyway thanks again!!!