My hopefully-hotwife-to-be and out journey towards hotwifing

[Wantsomefunto]

Maybe suggest one or two nights a month she goes to a bar or hotel lounge that has music to dance to? Tell her you can take care of the kids. See what she says?

[Wantsomefunto]

Maybe suggest one or two nights a month she goes to a bar or hotel lounge that has music to dance to? Tell her you can take care of the kids. See what she says?

[SmallTownGuy]

She occationally goes out and has sometimes been dancing with men. Not that often but sometimes. I suggested pretty much eaxctly what you said, going out alone to dance, a couple of months ago but she felt like it wouldn't be that fun.

Also as the name suggests we live in a pretty small town so if you go to a local nightclub it's very likely there is someone who knows you so being "free" there is a bit of a challenge. Then again taking the time and effort to get very far is also bit of a challenge.

However, I am very supportive for any kind of outgoing and happily will take care of the kids while she's out

[AZguy425]

This is a great thread! As someone with a semi reluctant wife also, it very much reminds me of some of the seeds I've planted and some of the progress: subtle, slow, and cautious!!

I think you can definitely take positives from this. If she's OK with kissing and public affection, and she's checking with you to make sure you're OK if she gets laid, then in the back of her mind she knows she can set a boundary of only kissing on public but that can be a slippery slope to more!

[SmallTownGuy]

Thanks for the comments! I very much agree this is very positive and I'm shocked that after years of nothing suddenly the gears are shifting!

I had to have a peek at their discussion again when given the chance. He is very active and keeps sending a lot of messages. Text, pics, voicemail. She is a lot less active but answering and commenting nonetheless. She has always been less eager to spend time chatting or checking the phone all the time, so I'm not surprised at all and she also explained that to him. He is still texting more actively with him than pretty much anyone else ever Many of his messages are praising how beautiful and lovely she is (which she is) and how he felt when they met and how time stopped when they look into each others eyes. I'm not sure if it's already a bit too much, either for me or for her She also had commented about him being quite a Shakespeare to which he replied he just wants to be honest about his feelings and to which she replied that is something she could learn about. She also commented that it is a bit difficult and awkward to receive these feelings in this situation of life. She also commented how much she has to tell to him and when he said he hopes they'll meet again she replied "We'll organize that". I also had captured a cute pic of her smiling at an art exhibition and shared that with her and she had sent the pic to him.

So my current understanding is that he has a crush on her, which I cannot blame him for, and she is also attracted to him to some extent. I think the main risk here is that he might be taking this a bit too seriously. Though I think some level of chemistry is needed to make it enjoyable and I like the idea of her having a bit of a boyfriend instead of just sex, but I'm not sure is he fully understands that she is not looking for deep and unconditional love, but she might be open for flirting, having fun, listening to music, going out together, kissing and perhaps one day even for occasional sex. I think she might be a bit afraid of him falling in love a bit too much and quickly.

She said to him she needs to organize her thoughts a bit so I'm curious to hear what she will tell to me about her feelings and how she will express them to him. I'm pretty sure she is surprised, puzzled and also perhaps a bit scared about herself, her feelings and her effect on him. She also commented to me that she does not want to rock the boat now and we have stayed together happily for a long time.

However I think this all is still super exciting and this has already now taken the conversations to the next level and I think this is a confidence boost for her and this has been to some extent the first time she is actually understanding the possibilities this hotwife thing could introduce to her life.

[SmallTownGuy]

I was thinking that I probably should define my limits a bit better... When she asked I mostly was thinking in terms of kissing/sex but the topic is diverse so probably should think a bit more broadly.

I'd say my limits are
-Him and their relationship must remain as an extra thing in addition to our marriage, not replace any part of our relationship
-No diseases and no risk of pregnancy
-Keep the arrangement out of public, I don't want our friends or families to know
-She must feel good about it
-No lying.

What I am comfortable with is
-Kissing
-Sex
-Bareback when all is clear and good
-Crush and feelings
-Missing each other
-Him introducing her as his girlfriend for his friends and such
-Traveling together
-Meeting him perhaps one day
-Overnighters

[Wantsomefunto]

Small Town, you are handling things well and making good progress. Maybe suggest she shop for some new cloths and intimates to help her feel more confidence with her looks. Have her show off a bit more for him

[SmallTownGuy]

Small Town, you are handling things well and making good progress. Maybe suggest she shop for some new cloths and intimates to help her feel more confidence with her looks. Have her show off a bit more for him

That is an interesting idea, let's see. She has some real nice lingerie and is generally against buying new stuff or clothes unless they are really needed but let's see if she'd like that.

Yesterday evening she was telling me how good it feels to get to sleep as she was tired. I said in that case she's probably not interested in cunnilingus but I'd love to do that to her soon. Turned out she was interested so I fingered her, licked her nipples, kissed her neck. She started using the dildo in her pussy and told me to enjoy the view for a while, which I gladly did. She looked so damn hot on the bed, her legs spread open, large dildo sliding in and out... She had a bit of flu so I told her I wouldn't dare to kiss her lips and she commented that "you probably get some kicks out of that too". She came while I licked her and she was pushing the dildo in her and then I fucked her in missionary right after. It was an enjoyable session and I have a feeling she was more horny and willing than she typically is which might have something to do with texting with the guy for couple of days

[Wantsomefunto]

Maybe she would text him some lingerie pics?

[SmallTownGuy]

Maybe she would text him some lingerie pics?

Don't think that is how she behaves...

Anyways, I was away for couple of days and when I got back home they had texted quite a lot and also had almost one hour of video calls apparently. She told me they had had a serious discussion about what is going on and she had told him she is willing to travel to meet again but she is looking for a friend and nothing more. He apparently understands and accepts this. She also had told him that it is a bit awkward for her if he's lovebombing her and she said the discussion has been more enjoyable and easy after that. She also had said that their friendship/relationship shouldn't block him from meeting or proceeding with anyone else to which he agreed. She also said to me she thinks me and her have somewhat similar thoughts about this but then added that most likely I am more open than she is. Which I think is very true.

They also had agreed to share a hotel room during the trip but with separate beds and she had said she wants to be sure there will be no surprises happening and they are traveling as friends. She said to me she will behave because of herself and us. I've said to her couple of times I am happy for her and OK with pretty much anything as long as she has a good feeling about it and she is having a good time.

I think this is a bit of an interesting situation if she is going to share a hotel room with a guy she has kissed and who obviously would want more than friendship, but she has no plans to go any further. I almost feel sorry for the guy as I'm 110% sure he is dying to have sex with her, but hey, the most important thing is that she is having fun.

I told her I recognize two possible risks here. The first being that he is not such a gentleman after some drinks and in this kind of setup. I think she is quite reserved with people and she said there are no red flags and he has so far been super nice. Another risk is that she ends up doing something she didn't want or mean to. This most likely will need some further discussion still. I'm sure he will try to make some moves and I don't want her to feel too surprised or uncomfortable about it.

[hornedhubby]

If they share a hotel room on the road, she will fuck him.

I'd suggest encouraging the trip, but you've been a perfect HW camper to this point and seem to know what you're doing. So does she. And your boundaries for her play are quite lenient.

Best wishes.

[SmallTownGuy]

If they share a hotel room on the road, she will fuck him.

I'd suggest encouraging the trip, but you've been a perfect HW camper to this point and seem to know what you're doing. So does she. And your boundaries for her play are quite lenient.

Best wishes.

Haha, we'll see and I hope you are right and things go smoothly and everyone involved has a good feeling about it afterwards and there will be more trips with a shared hotel room.

Anyways, now hotel reservation messages seem to be flying back and forth so preparations for her first trip to see another guy are actively in progress. Interesting times

[SmallTownGuy]

Yesterday when going to sleep and I mentioned how lovely, dear and sexy she is, she mentioned she feels like I'm more eager to comment things like that and asked if that might have something to do with the situation. I, of course, admitted that there may be a connection and told her it's not because I'd be worried about losing her but because I'm excited and happy about this. We also had a bit of chat about the situation and I once again told her I'm happy for her and as long as she has a good feeling about this she has my support for everything. I also told her I don't think anything they would have would be away from me or come between us. Even if feelings or crush exist, I won't be jealous.

She also commented about her being a bit of an opportunist here, saying she knows he'll be happy to pay for much of the costs but also said she won't let him take care of everything. She actually used the word escort in s humorous way, saying this kind of escort thing where she gets a nice hotel and tickets and drinks and offers partying company, is OK for her. She also mentioned she knows that even if they are now going to meet and vacation as friends, she knows he wouldn't make this kind of an offer for a guy. I agreed and said I think it is important that they discuss openly and he doesn't think he'll be getting steamy and passionate nights at the hotel in exchange if that is not the case. I told her I'm sure he is optimistic about what is to come and at least I'm sure he hopes the kiss they had wasn't the last one and she said they've agreed to be friends so he shouldn't be too optimistic. She also said she won't get too drunk but will definitely have some drinks.

She also showed, without me asking, what kind of a kiss they had. It was a relatively quick and definitely not a passionate french kiss, but not the quickest see you kind of a kiss neither. Maybe lasted for a second and it was hot to think how their lips have touched and how soft her lips must have felt against his.

We had a lengthy, funny and romantic discussion about how we met and stuff like that and how lucky we've been to find each other.

So the current situation in a nutshell is
-She is clearly happy and eager to go see him and have fun
-She knows he admires and wants her
-She has no plans to go any further
-She thinks he should understand this as well
-She knows she has my permission for almost anything

[SmallTownGuy]

She just booked the flights

Oh, and she also said she'll take care of the preparations for the upcoming trip now and then she'll put this off of her mind for some time.

[Cuckcuckgoose1]

She just booked the flights

Oh, and she also said she'll take care of the preparations for the upcoming trip now and then she'll put this off of her mind for some time.

When is the trip?

[SmallTownGuy]

When is the trip?

It's still something like 9 months ahead. A long wait...

[newtonmenlo]

You're very fortunate that she's gone this far. She sounds like an ideal wife for this.
On the other hand, this guy doesn't seem like the ideal boyfriend. He sounds too romantic and clingy for it to work out well. If they do eventually have sex, he seems to be the type that will read way too much into it and start to push more boundaries. He doesn't seem to understand his role in this as a sexual fling.
I could be wrong, but your wife will have to be the one to decide to push it farther.

[Wantsomefunto]

You should suggest to her to dress sexy and go out some to flirt to practice for her trip

[SmallTownGuy]

You're very fortunate that she's gone this far. She sounds like an ideal wife for this.
On the other hand, this guy doesn't seem like the ideal boyfriend. He sounds too romantic and clingy for it to work out well. If they do eventually have sex, he seems to be the type that will read way too much into it and start to push more boundaries. He doesn't seem to understand his role in this as a sexual fling.
I could be wrong, but your wife will have to be the one to decide to push it farther.

Interesting comment and thanks for the food for thought. I have a feeling that he might still be a good fit for us and her.

The most important thing is that she seems to like him. She's never been interested in texting with anyone on WA much. In this case she actually seems to enjoy chatting with him. I'm a bit disappointed she thinks they will only be friends, but on the other hand it's a good sign he accepts that. Also one major factor here is that he lives in another country so it's not like they'd be meeting every other day anyways. So that pretty nicely protects this from getting too attached.

I don't think my wife would have fun, enjoyable and passionate sex without some feelings.

They both seem to be eagerly waiting for the reunion and even discussions about the next trip together have been seen. My best effort will be to make her understand I would be happy if they end up having sex on the trip and I'm more than happy she has a nice guy to vacation with. Also I try to ensure she would flirt just enough to keep him interested. Also I should try to ensure she is mentally and physically prepared for anything when she gets there so I would really want her to be shaved, wearing nice lingerie, have a sexy night gown and so forth.

Happened to see on her Whatsapp that they had been texting and told her I find it hot they are chatting. She seemed to be a bit surprised about it.