How to for wannabees

[LouiseQ]

Hi all

My name is Louise and I was for best part of two years a hotwife (now retired). I have for the last couple of years found myself as am agony aunt for couples and individuals struggling with the idea - some trying to work out how to how to proceed. With wannabees, I start from the assumption that either the husband has not broached the topic with his wife, or that he has, and has received a negative response.

First it's important to note that most sexually active women (and there's no age limitation here. I have helped couples in their 70's in the past) will fantasise about sex. Many will use memory to recreate past experiences. The main issue is inhibition. Many married women will recoil at the idea - is it cheating? What about my marriage vows? Is he trying to offload me? Is it just a pretext for him having other women?
What will happen to my reputation if it becomes public knowledge? What about my self-esteem?

Some or all of these are foremost in a woman's mind when the idea of her having sex with someone else comes up. These need to be defused or diminished in her mind. There is no concept of coercion or putting pressure on her and it is critical that the husband presents the idea as a loving gift, something he wants for her to increase her happiness. Most women will be at least curious about what it would be like to have sex with someone else, and the strategy involves increasing the level of desire and excitement.

I may not be able to help you, but I can at least try. If you think you might benefit from my knowledge and experience, email me - louise.q.watson@gmail.com

[Justaregularguy]

This is tempting for when my wife is no longer pregnant!

[LouiseQ]

Keep my email address on file then!

[albs19922]

Is there a reason you prefer emails, or are you open to DMs here?

[LouiseQ]

I prefer emails as every case is different and I need to think things through carefully before replying.

One other thing I think it's worth mentioning. More often than not a wife's initial reaction is 'oh I'm no longer desirable and no guy would want me anyway'. Each wife will need her self-esteem boosted in a different way, so I can't provide a one size fits all solution here, I'm afraid.

[nevertoolate]

Each wife will need her self-esteem boosted in a different way, so I can't provide a one size fits all solution here, I'm afraid.

Very important to mention the woman's motivators. So much of hotwifing is framed around men's desires; Certainly when the men breach the subject. Also, much male anxiety is generated if she brings it up first. No need for men to fret or default to feelings of inadequacy. Sometimes it is just her need to feel more desired because of a hungry self-esteem. Once that is nourished, then comes the much celebrated insatiable desires for more. We husbands can be so fortunate.

Thank you for offering your counsel.

[nevertoolate]

Bless you for the good work you do. Love the agony aunt label.

[hornedhubby]

I sent you an email, Louise Q.

For years I've considered myself king of the OHW's wannabe section. I first offered my wife-to-be a menage a trois 45 years ago with my prospective best man. She declined. I asked, "Don't you think you'd enjoy it?" She replied, "I know I would enjoy it. But I'm not going to do it."

Not a bad starting point, but she's never gone down the HW slide.

Thanks for the invitation. I appreciate it.

[hornedhubby]

And thank you very much for your reply, LouiseQ.



Best regards and best wishes.