An Incomplete List of Things to Consider Before Playing

[athlete915]

Hey All,

I've been involved with couples for over ten years now and have spoken with a lot of wannabes in person and online. One of my consistent pieces of advice is that husbands/boyfriends should start their journey by trying to get a clear idea of what they actually want. Sure, they want their wives to be with others, but the variety from there is almost endless, and there is no "one-size-fits-all" approach (which is why I get frustrated with the focus on labels). I think it is worth spending some time going beyond just the idea of her having sex with someone else, as exciting as that is, and dig into the potential details.

Knowing what they want should help the husbands to tailor their approach to opening up to their wives about it and hopefully, get to a place where they're comfortable exploring the fantasy together. Ideally, the husband will share the topics with their wives and get an idea of what she is/isn't interested in.

Before I go ahead and outline the topics, I would like to offer two significant caveats. First, your opinions will evolve and change with time. That's normal and part of the process. Stay flexible and revisit the topics periodically. Second, as the title suggests, this is an incomplete list. I am sure that the moment I hit submit, I will think of other topics, and I am also sure that others will point out plenty that I have missed.

Lastly, as you consider the topics, think in terms of must-haves, want-to-haves, no opinion (i.e., don't care), areas of concern, and red lines. If and when you start discussing them with your wives, make sure to also get their opinions. Hopefully, you two will find a lot of overlap and mutual interest.

Without further ado and in no particular order:

- Would you prefer she have one-night stands or something ongoing? If you want something ongoing, how often would you want her to play?

- Do you want to watch? If so, would you insist on watching every time?

- If you watch, do you want to be an active participant before, during, and/or afterward? If so, active in what ways?

- If she plays alone, would you want her to share every detail with you? Would she need to ask you for permission to play each time?

- Would you still want her to play if it meant you had less intercourse with her? Does the idea of her lover(s) becoming her primary sexual partner(s) excite or repel you?

- Would you rather have her play with someone you know or a stranger? If it is someone you know, do you have a particular man in mind?

- Would you rather have one partner or multiple partners? If multiple partners, would you like them to be with her at the same time (e.g., 3some or moresome)?

- Do you want her to be with a man who is experienced with couples?

- Are you bisexual? Do you want her partner to be bisexual?

- Would you like her man/men to be of a particular racial or ethnic background?

- Would you like her man/men to have a particular body type?

- Do you want his cock to be of a particular size? Are you nervous about her being with a bigger man?

- Do you want him to be dominant with her? Do you want him to be dominant with you? Do you want her to be dominant with you?

- What other sexual traits and/or abilities would you like him to possess?

- How would you feel if she developed emotions for him? Do you see that as a positive or negative? Are there limits to what you would be comfortable with?

- Where would you want her to play? Hotels, his place, at home, etc.?

- What do you think about them going out in public together? With or without you?

- Would you be comfortable with her being open about playing with others? If so, with whom (e.g., her best friend)?

- What are your thoughts on condoms? Would he always have to use them? If not, what would be the rules for going bare?

- Would you like to clean her afterwards?

- Would you want to have any relationship with him (e.g., become friends)?

- Do you want to play with other women?

- Do you want your wife to be with other women?

- Do you want her to play primarily because of the excitement it would give you or because of the pleasure it would give her?

- Do you want her to play to fix a problem or to enhance an otherwise good relationship?

Again, I am sure I missed plenty, but hopefully those will offer you a good starting point. Feedback and questions are certainly welcome. Best of luck and play safe.

[Charlie Kennedy]

This list is great! These are not just important for you to know but also for your partner to know too. If you or any one else has any more to add please do. I would be very intrigued by what others see as an important question ask oneself

[athlete915]

This list is great! These are not just important for you to know but also for your partner to know too. If you or any one else has any more to add please do. I would be very intrigued by what others see as an important question ask oneself

Thanks for the response, Charlie. I would agree that the husbands and boyfriends considering these topics is really just a first step. The goal is ultimately for them to reach a point where they are comfortable discussing it with their wives or girlfriends, which in turn will hopefully lead to them exploring it in reality.

While the husbands and boyfriends may not have every answer when they first start discussing it with their partners, the more certain they are of their own wants and desires, the easier the conversation will go.

I may have missed it in a previous post, but where do you stand in the lifestyle?

[Charlie Kennedy]

I'll give you the short answer. Wannabe but in a very promising position. It has taken lots of time but is now an open topic in our lives and is a regular discussion in the bedroom. Both of us find the theory very exciting but translating this into reality is always the final and most precocious step. I would love this to progress but I'm in no rush. It's about her enjoyment after all. These questions have served as a great refresher on where I stand personally and I plan on sharing the Q&As with my wife the next time the topic arises. I believe she knows the answer to most of them already, but placed in such a format would help embed them further into reality for her I think.

[iwish]

Great question to consider. I spent a couple days answering them, knowing that my imagination might exceed reality. It took a couple days because I was imagining every situation and had to take breaks. I think you can understand. Unfortunately, when I went to post only a couple answers went through the process.


- Would you prefer she have one-night stands or something ongoing? If you want something ongoing, how often would you want her to play?

Both. She didn't see then and still doesn't recognize how attractive she is. We got together while young,and being a "nice" girl she never experienced the "dating scene." To correct that she'd have to experience life as a single woman, though she is married. This might mean accepting dates set up by well-meaning friends and with men she meets at work and socially. Some of these dates might end up with her in bed having been seduced by a handsome and confident man. After a few experiences she might become the aggressor after realizing her need/desire for her date. A one-night stand might become more after she experiences him and decides there is more than just a roll in the hey or that she wants a repeat sexual performance. I would hope that she experiences a number of men before settling.


- Do you want to watch? If so, would you insist on watching every time?

I'd definitely like to see her seduced and lured away from their meeting place. I'd like to see the effort he puts in and her reaction as the evening progresses. Seeing him extend his hand to her and the moment she decides that she is going through with it and allows him to guide her away. Maybe she would make eye contact with me on the way out, her look signaling that she's knows what's going to happen and she wants it. She wants to surrender herself to him.

I'm tempted to want to witness her first time with another man. Her second man. But, I know she'd be uncomfortable with me there, so I'd have to find another way. Ultimately, I'd like her to become so confident that she could unleash herself while I watched. Acknowledging my presence from time to time, but being completely into the encounter. I'd expect that there would be solo experiences (more than not) that will leave me at home imagining what might be happening.


I'll have to go back through the other questions, but doing so might take another few days do to my imagination running wild.

[athlete915]

Thank you very much for the responses. They offered some interesting insights.

While I think it is natural for couples to want to find an ideal partner to explore with long-term, playing the field, especially at first, can be a great way to test the waters. There will be some guys who seem perfect on paper, but who fall short in person. There may be other guys who don't check every block, but turn out to be great. As long as you're being safe and smart, you can look at these as learning experiences.

While I love being watched, which is a big part of what I enjoy about the lifestyle, some wives aren't comfortable being watched, especially at first. It is better to let them get comfortable first before slowly introducing their husbands into the mix.

There are plenty of ways to keep the husbands feeling involved and excited, even when they aren't there watching. It just takes a bit of effort and appreciation for the importance of doing so.

I would love to hear your thoughts on the other questions.

[iwish]

Great question to consider. I spent a couple days answering them, knowing that my imagination might exceed reality. It took a couple days because I was imagining every situation and had to take breaks. I think you can understand. Unfortunately, when I went to post only a couple answers went through the process.


- Would you prefer she have one-night stands or something ongoing? If you want something ongoing, how often would you want her to play?

Both. She didn't see then and still doesn't recognize how attractive she is. We got together while young,and being a "nice" girl she never experienced the "dating scene." To correct that she'd have to experience life as a single woman, though she is married. This might mean accepting dates set up by well-meaning friends and with men she meets at work and socially. Some of these dates might end up with her in bed having been seduced by a handsome and confident man. After a few experiences she might become the aggressor after realizing her need/desire for her date. A one-night stand might become more after she experiences him and decides there is more than just a roll in the hey or that she wants a repeat sexual performance. I would hope that she experiences a number of men before settling.


- Do you want to watch? If so, would you insist on watching every time?

I'd definitely like to see her seduced and lured away from their meeting place. I'd like to see the effort he puts in and her reaction as the evening progresses. Seeing him extend his hand to her and the moment she decides that she is going through with it and allows him to guide her away. Maybe she would make eye contact with me on the way out, her look signaling that she's knows what's going to happen and she wants it. She wants to surrender herself to him.

I'm tempted to want to witness her first time with another man. Her second man. But, I know she'd be uncomfortable with me there, so I'd have to find another way. Ultimately, I'd like her to become so confident that she could unleash herself while I watched. Acknowledging my presence from time to time, but being completely into the encounter. I'd expect that there would be solo experiences (more than not) that will leave me at home imagining what might be happening.

- If you watch, do you want to be an active participant before, during, and/or afterward? If so, active in what ways?

If she became intimate with another man I'd rather stand back and let her enjoy the experience. I'd like to see how she reacts to every one of his touches. I'd want her to be comfortable enough to surrender herself fully. Ultimately, she might become the aggressor. And maybe down the road, she would ask me to help her prepare herself for a date with a man that she knows where the evening will end, in his or our bed where she will be a willing and full participant.


- If she plays alone, would you want her to share every detail with you? Would she need to ask you for permission to play each time?


She would never have to ask for my permission. The idea is that she would be her own woman and will date as she desires. I would like to hear about her dates, every detail. Brad once described a game that hotwives can play with their husbands. She would describe her activities but stop when the husband cums. The next time she would start the story from the beginning, and stop when I lost control. What fun. At some point she might date without my knowledge and keep her activities hidden to some extent.

[iwish]

Great question to consider. I spent a couple days answering them, knowing that my imagination might exceed reality. It took a couple days because I was imagining every situation and had to take breaks. I think you can understand. Unfortunately, when I went to post only a couple answers went through the process.


- Would you prefer she have one-night stands or something ongoing? If you want something ongoing, how often would you want her to play?

Both. She didn't see then and still doesn't recognize how attractive she is. We got together while young,and being a "nice" girl she never experienced the "dating scene." To correct that she'd have to experience life as a single woman, though she is married. This might mean accepting dates set up by well-meaning friends and with men she meets at work and socially. Some of these dates might end up with her in bed having been seduced by a handsome and confident man. After a few experiences she might become the aggressor after realizing her need/desire for her date. A one-night stand might become more after she experiences him and decides there is more than just a roll in the hey or that she wants a repeat sexual performance. I would hope that she experiences a number of men before settling.


- Do you want to watch? If so, would you insist on watching every time?

I'd definitely like to see her seduced and lured away from their meeting place. I'd like to see the effort he puts in and her reaction as the evening progresses. Seeing him extend his hand to her and the moment she decides that she is going through with it and allows him to guide her away. Maybe she would make eye contact with me on the way out, her look signaling that she's knows what's going to happen and she wants it. She wants to surrender herself to him.

I'm tempted to want to witness her first time with another man. Her second man. But, I know she'd be uncomfortable with me there, so I'd have to find another way. Ultimately, I'd like her to become so confident that she could unleash herself while I watched. Acknowledging my presence from time to time, but being completely into the encounter. I'd expect that there would be solo experiences (more than not) that will leave me at home imagining what might be happening.

- If you watch, do you want to be an active participant before, during, and/or afterward? If so, active in what ways?

If she became intimate with another man I'd rather stand back and let her enjoy the experience. I'd like to see how she reacts to every one of his touches. I'd want her to be comfortable enough to surrender herself fully. Ultimately, she might become the aggressor. And maybe down the road, she would ask me to help her prepare herself for a date with a man that she knows where the evening will end, in his or our bed where she will be a willing and full participant.


- If she plays alone, would you want her to share every detail with you? Would she need to ask you for permission to play each time?


She would never have to ask for my permission. The idea is that she would be her own woman and will date as she desires. I would like to hear about her dates, every detail. Brad once described a game that hotwives can play with their husbands. She would describe her activities but stop when the husband cums. The next time she would start the story from the beginning, and stop when I lost control. What fun. At some point she might date without my knowledge and keep her activities hidden to some extent.

- Would you still want her to play if it meant you had less intercourse with her? Does the idea of her lover(s) becoming her primary sexual partner(s) excite or repel you?

Definitely. This adventure would be about her. Spreading her wings. Experiencing what she missed. I would expect that her activities would take her away from me. And I know that some of her experiences will be better than me, far better. That's what I'd want for her. That being the case, she would likely want repeat meetings, and that would mean more time away from me. So I would have to compete with other men for her attention. I would have to earn her affection. That's the way it should have always been. And the idea that I would not be at the top of her list does excite me.

[iwish]

Great question to consider. I spent a couple days answering them, knowing that my imagination might exceed reality. It took a couple days because I was imagining every situation and had to take breaks. I think you can understand. Unfortunately, when I went to post only a couple answers went through the process.


- Would you prefer she have one-night stands or something ongoing? If you want something ongoing, how often would you want her to play?

Both. She didn't see then and still doesn't recognize how attractive she is. We got together while young,and being a "nice" girl she never experienced the "dating scene." To correct that she'd have to experience life as a single woman, though she is married. This might mean accepting dates set up by well-meaning friends and with men she meets at work and socially. Some of these dates might end up with her in bed having been seduced by a handsome and confident man. After a few experiences she might become the aggressor after realizing her need/desire for her date. A one-night stand might become more after she experiences him and decides there is more than just a roll in the hey or that she wants a repeat sexual performance. I would hope that she experiences a number of men before settling.


- Do you want to watch? If so, would you insist on watching every time?

I'd definitely like to see her seduced and lured away from their meeting place. I'd like to see the effort he puts in and her reaction as the evening progresses. Seeing him extend his hand to her and the moment she decides that she is going through with it and allows him to guide her away. Maybe she would make eye contact with me on the way out, her look signaling that she's knows what's going to happen and she wants it. She wants to surrender herself to him.

I'm tempted to want to witness her first time with another man. Her second man. But, I know she'd be uncomfortable with me there, so I'd have to find another way. Ultimately, I'd like her to become so confident that she could unleash herself while I watched. Acknowledging my presence from time to time, but being completely into the encounter. I'd expect that there would be solo experiences (more than not) that will leave me at home imagining what might be happening.

- If you watch, do you want to be an active participant before, during, and/or afterward? If so, active in what ways?

If she became intimate with another man I'd rather stand back and let her enjoy the experience. I'd like to see how she reacts to every one of his touches. I'd want her to be comfortable enough to surrender herself fully. Ultimately, she might become the aggressor. And maybe down the road, she would ask me to help her prepare herself for a date with a man that she knows where the evening will end, in his or our bed where she will be a willing and full participant.


- If she plays alone, would you want her to share every detail with you? Would she need to ask you for permission to play each time?


She would never have to ask for my permission. The idea is that she would be her own woman and will date as she desires. I would like to hear about her dates, every detail. Brad once described a game that hotwives can play with their husbands. She would describe her activities but stop when the husband cums. The next time she would start the story from the beginning, and stop when I lost control. What fun. At some point she might date without my knowledge and keep her activities hidden to some extent.

- Would you still want her to play if it meant you had less intercourse with her? Does the idea of her lover(s) becoming her primary sexual partner(s) excite or repel you?

Definitely. This adventure would be about her. Spreading her wings. Experiencing what she missed. I would expect that her activities would take her away from me. And I know that some of her experiences will be better than me, far better. That's what I'd want for her. That being the case, she would likely want repeat meetings, and that would mean more time away from me. So I would have to compete with other men for her attention. I would have to earn her affection. That's the way it should have always been. And the idea that I would not be at the top of her list does excite me.

- Would you rather have her play with someone you know or a stranger? If it is someone you know, do you have a particular man in mind?


Starting out I think it would have to be a stranger, or at least a stranger to me. That would be more comfortable for her and, possibly, more exciting. I see a man taken with her at first sight and putting the work to gain her attention and soon after seduce her. During that process I'd like to witness her battle between maintaining her fidelity and giving into her lust for adventure with a new man. And I'd like to witness her actual seduction to the point of her accepting his eventual invitation to be with him physically. It would be a treat to watch their final innocent meeting. Watching him lean in close to whisper in her ear and him touching her. The same actions from her to him. And finally his invitation and her internal battle to accept or not. He extends his hand to her. She tentatively takes it knowing that she has accepted his invitation to take their relationship to the next level. And with that she willing allows him to lead her out of the bar and to the location where she will surrender herself to him and his desires. Of course, what happens next will satisfy her desires as well. I'd love to see her expression and her eyes as he leads her out of the establishment.

As she gains more experiences with more men, there will likely come a time that she develops an attraction to someone we both know. Whether he or she starts the physical part of the relationship it would be exciting to know that someone I know has been with her. Satisfied her. How would it affect my relationship with him. Would they try to hide it? Would they be open about the relationship? Open with me or openly flaunt it in public? If he satisfied her more than me I assume he would want to rub that in. I can only imagine what the experience would be like.

[iwish]

Great question to consider. I spent a couple days answering them, knowing that my imagination might exceed reality. It took a couple days because I was imagining every situation and had to take breaks. I think you can understand. Unfortunately, when I went to post only a couple answers went through the process.


- Would you prefer she have one-night stands or something ongoing? If you want something ongoing, how often would you want her to play?

Both. She didn't see then and still doesn't recognize how attractive she is. We got together while young,and being a "nice" girl she never experienced the "dating scene." To correct that she'd have to experience life as a single woman, though she is married. This might mean accepting dates set up by well-meaning friends and with men she meets at work and socially. Some of these dates might end up with her in bed having been seduced by a handsome and confident man. After a few experiences she might become the aggressor after realizing her need/desire for her date. A one-night stand might become more after she experiences him and decides there is more than just a roll in the hey or that she wants a repeat sexual performance. I would hope that she experiences a number of men before settling.


- Do you want to watch? If so, would you insist on watching every time?

I'd definitely like to see her seduced and lured away from their meeting place. I'd like to see the effort he puts in and her reaction as the evening progresses. Seeing him extend his hand to her and the moment she decides that she is going through with it and allows him to guide her away. Maybe she would make eye contact with me on the way out, her look signaling that she's knows what's going to happen and she wants it. She wants to surrender herself to him.

I'm tempted to want to witness her first time with another man. Her second man. But, I know she'd be uncomfortable with me there, so I'd have to find another way. Ultimately, I'd like her to become so confident that she could unleash herself while I watched. Acknowledging my presence from time to time, but being completely into the encounter. I'd expect that there would be solo experiences (more than not) that will leave me at home imagining what might be happening.

- If you watch, do you want to be an active participant before, during, and/or afterward? If so, active in what ways?

If she became intimate with another man I'd rather stand back and let her enjoy the experience. I'd like to see how she reacts to every one of his touches. I'd want her to be comfortable enough to surrender herself fully. Ultimately, she might become the aggressor. And maybe down the road, she would ask me to help her prepare herself for a date with a man that she knows where the evening will end, in his or our bed where she will be a willing and full participant.


- If she plays alone, would you want her to share every detail with you? Would she need to ask you for permission to play each time?


She would never have to ask for my permission. The idea is that she would be her own woman and will date as she desires. I would like to hear about her dates, every detail. Brad once described a game that hotwives can play with their husbands. She would describe her activities but stop when the husband cums. The next time she would start the story from the beginning, and stop when I lost control. What fun. At some point she might date without my knowledge and keep her activities hidden to some extent.

- Would you still want her to play if it meant you had less intercourse with her? Does the idea of her lover(s) becoming her primary sexual partner(s) excite or repel you?

Definitely. This adventure would be about her. Spreading her wings. Experiencing what she missed. I would expect that her activities would take her away from me. And I know that some of her experiences will be better than me, far better. That's what I'd want for her. That being the case, she would likely want repeat meetings, and that would mean more time away from me. So I would have to compete with other men for her attention. I would have to earn her affection. That's the way it should have always been. And the idea that I would not be at the top of her list does excite me.

- Would you rather have her play with someone you know or a stranger? If it is someone you know, do you have a particular man in mind?


Starting out I think it would have to be a stranger, or at least a stranger to me. That would be more comfortable for her and, possibly, more exciting. I see a man taken with her at first sight and putting the work to gain her attention and soon after seduce her. During that process I'd like to witness her battle between maintaining her fidelity and giving into her lust for adventure with a new man. And I'd like to witness her actual seduction to the point of her accepting his eventual invitation to be with him physically. It would be a treat to watch their final innocent meeting. Watching him lean in close to whisper in her ear and him touching her. The same actions from her to him. And finally his invitation and her internal battle to accept or not. He extends his hand to her. She tentatively takes it knowing that she has accepted his invitation to take their relationship to the next level. And with that she willing allows him to lead her out of the bar and to the location where she will surrender herself to him and his desires. Of course, what happens next will satisfy her desires as well. I'd love to see her expression and her eyes as he leads her out of the establishment.

As she gains more experiences with more men, there will likely come a time that she develops an attraction to someone we both know. Whether he or she starts the physical part of the relationship it would be exciting to know that someone I know has been with her. Satisfied her. How would it affect my relationship with him. Would they try to hide it? Would they be open about the relationship? Open with me or openly flaunt it in public? If he satisfied her more than me I assume he would want to rub that in. I can only imagine what the experience would be like.

- Would you rather have one partner or multiple partners? If multiple partners, would you like them to be with her at the same time (e.g., 3some or moresome)?


Since she failed to enjoy a proper period of dating when younger, I would hope that she plays the field for a while. There is little doubt that she would attract plenty of attention. She's beautiful. She's wonderful. She's a great person. I assume that she would attract all kinds of men. There would be men that want nothing more than to fuck her as another notch on their belt to men that want a full fledged relationship. From my point of view, I want her to experience what she missed. Since she's only been with me (that I know of) I'd hope that she'd multiply her body count by 100 before she considered settling. Even then, she should consider maintaining multiple relationships since this is about her expanding her experiences and her enjoyment. She should enjoy her dating period to the fullest.

On the other hand, hearing about her being the center of attention of several men at the same time would be exciting. I doubt I'd ever get the picture out of my head. And I'd like to hear the story directly from her, ideally while she was laying naked with me. She might follow that by describing her experience pulling a train until she was beyond satisfied. Then the train would start again until the men has all of her they wanted.

[thesvs_09]

The list is a great questionnaire set. Of course not exhaustive, yet a great tool for a quick analysis.

Three things that create problems are -
1. It is not a science. Whole deal is experience based. Like an art. You can never be sure what you would like before experiencing it. Again frequency of those experiences matter too.

2. Wife and Bull are person too. Their experience, likes and demands may not align with yours at all. What if she wants polar opposite things ? Communication and compromises are the way.

3. Not all factors can be decided by your desire. I mean not everything can be put into sexual likes and dislikes basket by you and your wife. E.g. Let's suppose you both like one night stands. Let's say once every 2 weeks. Now, it is way more difficult to arrange that with new persons on a regular basis. You need to be safe. Bulls may have certain demands too. Time constraints. Privacy reasons. So, you both compromise on having a regular bull, which may turn into a lover. Husband will have to deal with extra jealousy part, which was not anticipated as you were researching on ONS only.

The gist is a mind open to change and a heart able to communicate is what is needed. Of course, I am still a wannabe, so what do I know!

[iwish]

- If you watch, do you want to be an active participant before, during, and/or afterward? If so, active in what ways?

If she became intimate with another man I'd rather stand back and let her enjoy the experience. I'd like to see how she reacts to every one of his touches. I'd want her to be comfortable enough to surrender herself fully. Ultimately, she might become the aggressor. And maybe down the road, she would ask me to help her prepare herself for a date with a man that she knows where the evening will end, in his or our bed where she will be a willing and full participant.


- If she plays alone, would you want her to share every detail with you? Would she need to ask you for permission to play each time?


She would never have to ask for my permission. The idea is that she would be her own woman and will date as she desires. I would like to hear about her dates, every detail. Brad once described a game that hotwives can play with their husbands. She would describe her activities but stop when the husband cums. The next time she would start the story from the beginning, and stop when I lost control. What fun. At some point she might date without my knowledge and keep her activities hidden to some extent.

- Would you still want her to play if it meant you had less intercourse with her? Does the idea of her lover(s) becoming her primary sexual partner(s) excite or repel you?

Definitely. This adventure would be about her. Spreading her wings. Experiencing what she missed. I would expect that her activities would take her away from me. And I know that some of her experiences will be better than me, far better. That's what I'd want for her. That being the case, she would likely want repeat meetings, and that would mean more time away from me. So I would have to compete with other men for her attention. I would have to earn her affection. That's the way it should have always been. And the idea that I would not be at the top of her list does excite me.

- Would you rather have her play with someone you know or a stranger? If it is someone you know, do you have a particular man in mind?


Starting out I think it would have to be a stranger, or at least a stranger to me. That would be more comfortable for her and, possibly, more exciting. I see a man taken with her at first sight and putting the work to gain her attention and soon after seduce her. During that process I'd like to witness her battle between maintaining her fidelity and giving into her lust for adventure with a new man. And I'd like to witness her actual seduction to the point of her accepting his eventual invitation to be with him physically. It would be a treat to watch their final innocent meeting. Watching him lean in close to whisper in her ear and him touching her. The same actions from her to him. And finally his invitation and her internal battle to accept or not. He extends his hand to her. She tentatively takes it knowing that she has accepted his invitation to take their relationship to the next level. And with that she willing allows him to lead her out of the bar and to the location where she will surrender herself to him and his desires. Of course, what happens next will satisfy her desires as well. I'd love to see her expression and her eyes as he leads her out of the establishment.

As she gains more experiences with more men, there will likely come a time that she develops an attraction to someone we both know. Whether he or she starts the physical part of the relationship it would be exciting to know that someone I know has been with her. Satisfied her. How would it affect my relationship with him. Would they try to hide it? Would they be open about the relationship? Open with me or openly flaunt it in public? If he satisfied her more than me I assume he would want to rub that in. I can only imagine what the experience would be like.

- Would you rather have one partner or multiple partners? If multiple partners, would you like them to be with her at the same time (e.g., 3some or moresome)?


Since she failed to enjoy a proper period of dating when younger, I would hope that she plays the field for a while. There is little doubt that she would attract plenty of attention. She's beautiful. She's wonderful. She's a great person. I assume that she would attract all kinds of men. There would be men that want nothing more than to fuck her as another notch on their belt to men that want a full fledged relationship. From my point of view, I want her to experience what she missed. Since she's only been with me (that I know of) I'd hope that she'd multiply her body count by 100 before she considered settling. Even then, she should consider maintaining multiple relationships since this is about her expanding her experiences and her enjoyment. She should enjoy her dating period to the fullest.

On the other hand, hearing about her being the center of attention of several men at the same time would be exciting. I doubt I'd ever get the picture out of my head. And I'd like to hear the story directly from her, ideally while she was laying naked with me. She might follow that by describing her experience pulling a train until she was beyond satisfied. Then the train would start again until the men has all of her they wanted.

- Do you want her to be with a man who is experienced with couples?

I want her to be with men that she finds attractive. Men that are different than me. Bigger than me in all ways. Better than me in all ways. She should sample every kind of man that she finds attractive or even curious about.



- Are you bisexual? Do you want her partner to be bisexual?

I am not and have no interest in physical contact with another man. If she is interested in another woman should should feel free, even compelled, to experiment. She won't know what she likes until she samples all options.


- Would you like her man/men to be of a particular racial or ethnic background?

Again, it would be up to her, but I would hope she would experiment with anyone she finds attractive or simple wants to take a ride with. That's the point. She should sample every possibility so she learns what characteristics she enjoys.


- Would you like her man/men to have a particular body type?

Whatever she finds attractive, though she should be willing to experiment with all body types that grab her attention.


- Do you want his cock to be of a particular size? Are you nervous about her being with a bigger man?

Again, this is all about her and to find what she enjoys most. I'd certainly want her to experience a bigger cock than mine that is attached to a man that knows how to use it. A man that knows how to use it and her in a way that she must see him again and again. A man that she can't forget. A man that she would do things out of her comfort zone to keep him interested in her. She's realize that she has to compete with other woman for his attention. A player. A man that brings a bit of risk. Risk of falling for. The risk of being exposed as a cheating wife. Etc.


- Do you want him to be dominant with her? Do you want him to be dominant with you? Do you want her to be dominant with you?

I'd certainly want her to experience a dominant man. It would be a new experience for her. Would she give in? Could she let herself go. I don't know how I would fit in, though it would be interesting if at least one dominant man knew about us and took advantage of her attraction to him to test both of us.

- What other sexual traits and/or abilities would you like him to possess?

Again, this is all about her and to find what she enjoys most. I'd certainly want her to experience a bigger cock than mine that is attached to a man that knows how to use it. A man that knows how to use it and her in a way that she must see him again and again. A man that she can't forget. A man that she would do things out of her comfort zone to keep him interested in her. She's realize that she has to compete with other woman for his attention. A player. A man that brings a bit of risk. Risk of falling for. The risk of being exposed as a cheating wife. Etc.

[iwish]

- Would you still want her to play if it meant you had less intercourse with her? Does the idea of her lover(s) becoming her primary sexual partner(s) excite or repel you?

Definitely. This adventure would be about her. Spreading her wings. Experiencing what she missed. I would expect that her activities would take her away from me. And I know that some of her experiences will be better than me, far better. That's what I'd want for her. That being the case, she would likely want repeat meetings, and that would mean more time away from me. So I would have to compete with other men for her attention. I would have to earn her affection. That's the way it should have always been. And the idea that I would not be at the top of her list does excite me.

- Would you rather have her play with someone you know or a stranger? If it is someone you know, do you have a particular man in mind?


Starting out I think it would have to be a stranger, or at least a stranger to me. That would be more comfortable for her and, possibly, more exciting. I see a man taken with her at first sight and putting the work to gain her attention and soon after seduce her. During that process I'd like to witness her battle between maintaining her fidelity and giving into her lust for adventure with a new man. And I'd like to witness her actual seduction to the point of her accepting his eventual invitation to be with him physically. It would be a treat to watch their final innocent meeting. Watching him lean in close to whisper in her ear and him touching her. The same actions from her to him. And finally his invitation and her internal battle to accept or not. He extends his hand to her. She tentatively takes it knowing that she has accepted his invitation to take their relationship to the next level. And with that she willing allows him to lead her out of the bar and to the location where she will surrender herself to him and his desires. Of course, what happens next will satisfy her desires as well. I'd love to see her expression and her eyes as he leads her out of the establishment.

As she gains more experiences with more men, there will likely come a time that she develops an attraction to someone we both know. Whether he or she starts the physical part of the relationship it would be exciting to know that someone I know has been with her. Satisfied her. How would it affect my relationship with him. Would they try to hide it? Would they be open about the relationship? Open with me or openly flaunt it in public? If he satisfied her more than me I assume he would want to rub that in. I can only imagine what the experience would be like.

- Would you rather have one partner or multiple partners? If multiple partners, would you like them to be with her at the same time (e.g., 3some or moresome)?


Since she failed to enjoy a proper period of dating when younger, I would hope that she plays the field for a while. There is little doubt that she would attract plenty of attention. She's beautiful. She's wonderful. She's a great person. I assume that she would attract all kinds of men. There would be men that want nothing more than to fuck her as another notch on their belt to men that want a full fledged relationship. From my point of view, I want her to experience what she missed. Since she's only been with me (that I know of) I'd hope that she'd multiply her body count by 100 before she considered settling. Even then, she should consider maintaining multiple relationships since this is about her expanding her experiences and her enjoyment. She should enjoy her dating period to the fullest.

On the other hand, hearing about her being the center of attention of several men at the same time would be exciting. I doubt I'd ever get the picture out of my head. And I'd like to hear the story directly from her, ideally while she was laying naked with me. She might follow that by describing her experience pulling a train until she was beyond satisfied. Then the train would start again until the men has all of her they wanted.

- Do you want her to be with a man who is experienced with couples?

I want her to be with men that she finds attractive. Men that are different than me. Bigger than me in all ways. Better than me in all ways. She should sample every kind of man that she finds attractive or even curious about.



- Are you bisexual? Do you want her partner to be bisexual?

I am not and have no interest in physical contact with another man. If she is interested in another woman should should feel free, even compelled, to experiment. She won't know what she likes until she samples all options.


- Would you like her man/men to be of a particular racial or ethnic background?

Again, it would be up to her, but I would hope she would experiment with anyone she finds attractive or simple wants to take a ride with. That's the point. She should sample every possibility so she learns what characteristics she enjoys.


- Would you like her man/men to have a particular body type?

Whatever she finds attractive, though she should be willing to experiment with all body types that grab her attention.


- Do you want his cock to be of a particular size? Are you nervous about her being with a bigger man?

Again, this is all about her and to find what she enjoys most. I'd certainly want her to experience a bigger cock than mine that is attached to a man that knows how to use it. A man that knows how to use it and her in a way that she must see him again and again. A man that she can't forget. A man that she would do things out of her comfort zone to keep him interested in her. She's realize that she has to compete with other woman for his attention. A player. A man that brings a bit of risk. Risk of falling for. The risk of being exposed as a cheating wife. Etc.


- Do you want him to be dominant with her? Do you want him to be dominant with you? Do you want her to be dominant with you?

I'd certainly want her to experience a dominant man. It would be a new experience for her. Would she give in? Could she let herself go. I don't know how I would fit in, though it would be interesting if at least one dominant man knew about us and took advantage of her attraction to him to test both of us.

- What other sexual traits and/or abilities would you like him to possess?

Again, this is all about her and to find what she enjoys most. I'd certainly want her to experience a bigger cock than mine that is attached to a man that knows how to use it. A man that knows how to use it and her in a way that she must see him again and again. A man that she can't forget. A man that she would do things out of her comfort zone to keep him interested in her. She's realize that she has to compete with other woman for his attention. A player. A man that brings a bit of risk. Risk of falling for. The risk of being exposed as a cheating wife. Etc.

- How would you feel if she developed emotions for him? Do you see that as a positive or negative? Are there limits to what you would be comfortable with?

If there are going to be repeat performances, I would expect that she would develop feelings for some of her men. It's only natural. And, it would help her let herself go all in with a man. Becoming this familiar and comfortable with is part of what would make the experience. For a lucky man or two it might lead to overnights, weekends, and maybe even some travel where she can act like his girlfriend in public and fawn all over him with the hopes that he repay her later in bed.


- Where would you want her to play? Hotels, his place, at home, etc.?

Yes, yes, and yes. She should experience it all. Including in a public restroom, an alley, our car, hotel rooms, his place, and our bed.

- What do you think about them going out in public together? With or without you?

That's exciting as hell. The worry about whether anyone we know will see them together and realize they are more than friends catching up would certainly amp up the emotions for both of us. But, I would like her to have the whole dating experience and that means she would at some point dress properly for her date and to act as his date in public for all to see.


- Would you be comfortable with her being open about playing with others? If so, with whom (e.g., her best friend)?

I think should have to be able to talk to someone besides me. To relive her experiences. To gather advice and maybe recommendations from a girlfriend on guys that will likely blow her mind. Maybe her friend would set her up with men and double date, knowing that she is married. I can only imagine how my interactions with such a friend might change.

- What are your thoughts on condoms? Would he always have to use them? If not, what would be the rules for going bare?

I assume she would want new men to wear them to start, but those that she enjoys an ongoing relationship would discard them at some point so that she can accept them fully.

- Would you like to clean her afterwards?

I'd consider it, if that's what she wanted. I would want her to come home with her dates smell on her. His cum on her. And marked from their lovemaking.


- Would you want to have any relationship with him (e.g., become friends)?

Not necessarily, though it might be interesting to have at least one guy that she enjoys around. Would he act like it's nothing or would he rub it in. How would she act when he is around?

- Do you want to play with other women?

No. No one would ever compete with my wife in my eyes.

- Do you want your wife to be with other women?

If she wants. She ought to experiment.

- Do you want her to play primarily because of the excitement it would give you or because of the pleasure it would give her?

Both, but she would have to want it and want to continue to make it worthwhile.

- Do you want her to play to fix a problem or to enhance an otherwise good relationship?

I would hope that it would ramp up our sexual interaction. Maybe she would learn some new things that she could bring to our bedroom. Mainly, this would be about her and catching up on lost opportunities.

[mychubbyhotwife]

What if she falls in love?

[iwish]

What if she falls in love?

It would certainly be a risk, but I would hope that she would recognize that this is our adventure and that it's possible because we love each other completely. But, you never know.

[iwish]

What if she falls in love?

It would certainly be a risk, but I would hope that she would recognize that this is our adventure and that it's possible because we love each other completely. But, you never know.

But it would be hot if she did fall in love a little bit. Doing so would certainly make it easier for her to enjoy herself. To let go. Accept his attention and his advances. And to see how things unfold. And if she wanted, to give herself over to the experience completely.

[flexxxdee]

I’ve thought of every aspect on this initial list.

I’d love my wife to have an ongoing relationship with one guy whom she meets once a month or so. I’d rather not watch but I wouldn’t mind listening from outside the room. It’d be ok if we became friends but it wouldn’t be necessary. She has said she’d be into doing it in his place but no overnight stays. I’d personally like a younger, well-endowed man and she likes black men. I’m bi-curious but I’d rather not interact with him. If she develops feelings for him that’d be fine but I don’t want to ever lose her. She’s precious to me and a wonderful woman.

[athlete915]

What if she falls in love?

That's a very common and legitimate concern. Here are a couple of pieces of advice that I would offer:

- Seek out men who understand their role in the relationship and who want to be with couples. Be wary of men who seem to be seeking romance and whose focus is solely on the wife.

- Recognize that love is not zero-sum. We're all capable of loving multiple people and for different reasons. Just because a wife has feelings for her lover doesn't mean she loves her husband less. A wife can love her husband for being an excellent companion and care about her lover for the pleasure he gives her.

[athlete915]

I’ve thought of every aspect on this initial list.

I’d love my wife to have an ongoing relationship with one guy whom she meets once a month or so. I’d rather not watch but I wouldn’t mind listening from outside the room. It’d be ok if we became friends but it wouldn’t be necessary. She has said she’d be into doing it in his place but no overnight stays. I’d personally like a younger, well-endowed man and she likes black men. I’m bi-curious but I’d rather not interact with him. If she develops feelings for him that’d be fine but I don’t want to ever lose her. She’s precious to me and a wonderful woman.

Thanks for the response.

Two follow-up questions for you. First, how did you feel when she first mentioned she'd want the guy to be black? Second, why do you feel like once a month is the right amount for you two?

[flexxxdee]

I felt hopeful when she said she’d like a black lover. She’d never mentioned liking any other men, and as it turns out she was working with a good looking young black guy who flirted with her and she loved the attention. She believes black guys are well hung and she may have said “Why bother doing this if he’s not bigger than you?” . Good point.

She wears panties that have “I BBC” over her pussy

Once a month would be good, since I’d want her to get excited with anticipation of her next meetup. But if she’d go for more frequently I would stop her.

[athlete915]

I felt hopeful when she said she’d like a black lover. She’d never mentioned liking any other men, and as it turns out she was working with a good looking young black guy who flirted with her and she loved the attention. She believes black guys are well hung and she may have said “Why bother doing this if he’s not bigger than you?” . Good point.

She wears panties that have “I BBC” over her pussy

Once a month would be good, since I’d want her to get excited with anticipation of her next meetup. But if she’d go for more frequently I would stop her.

My experience is that it is a very common fantasy, though most white women are nervous about admitting the fantasy to their white husbands. Obviously, your wife knows that she can be open and honest with you, which is a great thing.

Her point is also spot on. There's really no point in doing this unless the other guy can offer something more than the husband.

I'm upfront with my couples and tell them that I prefer long-term, steady relationships with my couples. I don't put specific limits on how often I would like to see them, but have found that every week or so is close to ideal for me.