First small attempt was a disaster
Posted: Mon Jul 14, 2025 3:41 am
Hi all.
I'm sad to report our first attempt was an absolute dumpster fire of a disaster. For the sake of length, here is the summary of us;
44M, 43F, together 24 years, married 17 years, brought up hotwifing about 7-8 years ago and now at a point where my wife is excited about taking the next step.
After many discussions and all of the ups and downs, my wife was really getting on board these last few months. Role play in the bedroom kicked up a massive amount, her dirty talk about taking another guy was at another level and after many out of bedroom conversations she said she was interested in meeting a guy.
I went on to a swingers website primarily used in Ireland, created the profile, started chatting to guys, got bombarded by hundreds of messages and eventually ended up with a few profiles and she chose one in particular. My wife is a little particular about the meet and felt like a 1-on-1 at a cafe or bar would be really awkard if we didn't gel, so she said to organise to meet him at one of the regular social events one of the local groups organise.
I picked the date (yesterday the 13th), kept messaging the guy and over ~3 weeks or so got a really good vibe off him. We did the pic exchange, he was really keen to meet and so we agreed to meet at the social yesterday. If it didn't work out with him, my wife and I figured there would be other couples and single guys to mingle with so it wouldn't be a wasted night. She was really keen, more keen than I've ever seen her before, to take her first steps - so much that she got in the mood by masturbating in the afternoon while having a bath, something she rarely does.
We talked on the way in, excitement was building, she was mentioning this 3rd guy and then we got to the venue. What was labelled as a bar forgot to include it was dingy and seedy as fuck. We'd driven the hour to get here and didn't want to waste the time so we went in. What was in the bar was probably the least social event I've ever been to. Maybe 2 couples and 5-6 single guys, nobody mingling, no greeting, not even a hello and welcome from the bar staff - it's worth noting that the bar IS specifically for swinger social meets and greets and is a regular Sunday event.
The event also neglected to mention that their "smart casual" dress code seemed to be optional and we were well and truly out of place. We dressed to impressed like we were going to a decent cocktail or wine bar, and everyone else was in t-shirt and shorts. We had a quick word, decided we can suffer through it to meet up with our 3rd who we planned to meet at 7. We got there at 6.45 and we waited until 7.30 and then figured he was a no show. Well not only that, he deleted his profile off the site.
Surprisingly my wife is handling it really well, saying we just picked the wrong event, the wrong day, there'll be another attempt and so on. I expected her to say "fuck this" at the slightest upset so I'm surprised at her reaction. Me? I am completely gutted and despondent about any future attempts. I saw yesterdays social as the first step that meets both of our criteria and now that it's nothing like what was expected, I can't see any way forward for her.
She doesn't want to meet 1-on-1, she wants a social meet first but there doesn't seem to be any (for lack of a better word) worthy of going to. I had high hopes of course, but it fell so far below expectations that I question if it's worth doing anything at all now.
Would love to hear your thoughts..
I'm sad to report our first attempt was an absolute dumpster fire of a disaster. For the sake of length, here is the summary of us;
44M, 43F, together 24 years, married 17 years, brought up hotwifing about 7-8 years ago and now at a point where my wife is excited about taking the next step.
After many discussions and all of the ups and downs, my wife was really getting on board these last few months. Role play in the bedroom kicked up a massive amount, her dirty talk about taking another guy was at another level and after many out of bedroom conversations she said she was interested in meeting a guy.
I went on to a swingers website primarily used in Ireland, created the profile, started chatting to guys, got bombarded by hundreds of messages and eventually ended up with a few profiles and she chose one in particular. My wife is a little particular about the meet and felt like a 1-on-1 at a cafe or bar would be really awkard if we didn't gel, so she said to organise to meet him at one of the regular social events one of the local groups organise.
I picked the date (yesterday the 13th), kept messaging the guy and over ~3 weeks or so got a really good vibe off him. We did the pic exchange, he was really keen to meet and so we agreed to meet at the social yesterday. If it didn't work out with him, my wife and I figured there would be other couples and single guys to mingle with so it wouldn't be a wasted night. She was really keen, more keen than I've ever seen her before, to take her first steps - so much that she got in the mood by masturbating in the afternoon while having a bath, something she rarely does.
We talked on the way in, excitement was building, she was mentioning this 3rd guy and then we got to the venue. What was labelled as a bar forgot to include it was dingy and seedy as fuck. We'd driven the hour to get here and didn't want to waste the time so we went in. What was in the bar was probably the least social event I've ever been to. Maybe 2 couples and 5-6 single guys, nobody mingling, no greeting, not even a hello and welcome from the bar staff - it's worth noting that the bar IS specifically for swinger social meets and greets and is a regular Sunday event.
The event also neglected to mention that their "smart casual" dress code seemed to be optional and we were well and truly out of place. We dressed to impressed like we were going to a decent cocktail or wine bar, and everyone else was in t-shirt and shorts. We had a quick word, decided we can suffer through it to meet up with our 3rd who we planned to meet at 7. We got there at 6.45 and we waited until 7.30 and then figured he was a no show. Well not only that, he deleted his profile off the site.
Surprisingly my wife is handling it really well, saying we just picked the wrong event, the wrong day, there'll be another attempt and so on. I expected her to say "fuck this" at the slightest upset so I'm surprised at her reaction. Me? I am completely gutted and despondent about any future attempts. I saw yesterdays social as the first step that meets both of our criteria and now that it's nothing like what was expected, I can't see any way forward for her.
She doesn't want to meet 1-on-1, she wants a social meet first but there doesn't seem to be any (for lack of a better word) worthy of going to. I had high hopes of course, but it fell so far below expectations that I question if it's worth doing anything at all now.
Would love to hear your thoughts..
) and have fun, let her dance and be flirty. Surely she will gather some suitors. Women always do. Play it by ear and even if you don't meet a good match right off, surely you'll end up with some hot moments to rev both your engines until you do connect.
