Confused!

[Clanclang5]

Hi everyone,

I am a long time member here and never thought of posting here. I am European married to an Indian girl. We are in love since 10 years (We are in late twenties now) and got married recently without any plans for kids for next 2 years.
Here is our story, before meeting my girl, I was involved with multiple women and seduced a few married women with their husbands knowledge as well. I was riding this sexual highs being a teenager and with lots of oppurtunities around. These multiple relations drove me to explore the cuckold kink through a couple who are involved in this kink. To further explore this topic, i went on a internet freefall and landed on Literotica and this site. From there on, this cuckold stuff was my refuge for masturbation. I should also mention here that I am a bisexual and i was involved in few encounters with men.

Then i met my girl through common friends. We met in Amsterdam and she was here to pursue her studies. She was a welcome change as i stopped my affairs with other women and went monogomus. But it did last only for a couple of years as we are going through long distance relationship due to some professional constraints. We used to meet only once in a month. Lately, my old habits started catching up with me. Initially, i met old contacts and then started meeting few other women. But things didn't go as expected and soon one day my girl saw my text exchnages & she was upset. After a long discussions and guilt trip, I promised her that i will never text these girls again. She accepted my apology to my delight and we decided to put my past to rest. I confessed everything to her about my past except my sexuality, other men and cuckold smut. I thought it will be a lot to take for her. As expected she was visibly upset but understood that everyone will have secrets & accepting each other is important in relationship. She is very conservative when it comes to relationships, sex and lifestyle. We continued for 3 more years with long distance relationship.

But the old habits did catch up again! This time with more surprises.

One day when she visited her parents in India, I opened another account on Planet Romeo & started meeting guys for fun. It involved meeting men, playing with ccoks and fucking them at open places. It was fun in the beginning but i coped myself that it is not cheating as it hadn't involved women. These meetings have evolved to a stage where i was so non-chalant about my dates with men. I started meeting them in the car mostly and i slowly started meeting 2 guys on regular basis. All these encounters involved the men sucking my cock leisurely and then i pound their asses for a long time until i nut in the condoms. There are no feelings involved with any of these men as i don't like kissing and hugs with men in particular.

My girl has returned from India after 6 months, which brought a fresh energy into our relationship. Sex was good again and i stopped my meetings with men. We fucked for 3 times a day for a week until we are tired of each other and her pussy was sore. We travelled together to Belgium and fucked in the woods. Life was good until i met this guy Seb.

After few months of my girl's return, she left to her work once again. Out of loneliness, i installed dating app and i met Seb. As part of our profile, we need to mention our sexual position which is more top in my case but by error i mentioned i am more bottom. Later i received a message from this stranger and he was interested in meeting me. I was about to sleep but i was excited, so i texted him that i was interested. He asked me for a place to meet but i was lazy&sleepy, so i asked him to meet at a place close to my home. Seb was not interested in meeting outdoors as he want it to be discret and indoors. I told him that i was sorry that i can't invite him to my place. He understood and we didn't meet that night. But he sent another message late night attaching his dick picture and with a caption 'You don't understand what your are missing, i will stay in the city until tomorrow mid-night'.

Probably that's the first time, i was attracted to a cock. It was not lengthy but the cock is girthy and seemed strong with veins. Immediately i had a boner. i thought about telling seb that i am a top but ruled out the idea. I don't know why but i thought of playing with seb cock. It was attractive and i reasoned myself that why i shouldn't try this as i was playing with men already. it's just that i will be playing with cocks for a change instead of assholes. The thought felt taboo and immediately gave me a rush of warm blood. i felt kinky and my brain was fogged with a need of sexual adventure. It was rush, a strong rush in the head.

I replied back to Seb and asked him politely to meet me in front of my building. There was no reply from his side but i killed my ego & requested him again with a PLEASE. He responded immediately this time and agreed to meet me in 15 minutes. Imeediately i bathed myself, put some nice comfy clothes and waited for him. He is on time, a 45 year old european with more than 190cm height and athletic build. He was sweet, calm and also imposing. We entered into our appartement and he immediately slapped my ass with a smile. It felt funny as my role was exchanged and now i'm on the receiving end. The slap did sting and fuled fuel to my desire. Slowly Seb pushed me to my knees without any talk, opened his zippers. The smell of his cock did hit me straightway and i was beyond any rational thinking. I took him into my mouth and it started expanding. I was slow and my teeth are hurting him. Seb was not happy and stopped me mid way.
I was hurt that i couldn't make him happy and explained him that it's my first time. He guessed it already and with a relaxed demeneour, he asked me to open Sissy hypno on my PC. The hypno was confusing as i never knew of it's existence until that time but it helped me for visual stimulation and performing oral better. I sucked Seb cock for a longtime with intervals when i felt gag or sore. Later he started playing with my ass hole with hsi fingers but it was painful. Later we used the lube that i use for my girl and my other women. Still it pained as hell, so he didn't move forward. Finally he cummed in my mouth but i spitted it out immediately. Seb kissed me and i resisted with a tight lips as i don't enjoy kissing men. Seb used washroom while i was sitting on bed with a confused brain. Later when Seb appeared with his flacid penis between his legs, the confusion was replaced by desire. But i don't want to look so obvious that i moved on to random topics.
That night Seb slept with me. He was an locomotive driver who happens to visit my city for some training. He is from Bordeaux. He is married with a beautiful blonde and had a kid. He told me that he discovered that he likes Men when he was 40 and since then he was involved with a sex friend. The sex friend is also a friend of his wife who allows Seb to play as the wife lost interest in sex. I was surprised to know the nature of their relationship and later Seb invited me to Bordeaux but i politely refused as i want this thing as one time affair. I didn't share much details from my side and Seb is happy with that. I grown curious for sissy hypno and we watched a few more videos toegther where Seb told me that his sex friend dresses as femme for him which was a shock to me.

Next day early morning, Seb cock started pushing into my hole from behind. I was startled and said no to Seb but he didn't listen and pushed his cock further, the pain was severe and i shouted at him. Seb immediately pulled away but turned me around started kissing my nipples. My nipples are very sensitive and i immediately started moaning loudly, then Seb caught my cock for first time and shagged it until i came. Then realisation hit me strong and guilt came over, i was so ashamed that i started crying. Seb undertsood my panic and held me close but i don't want to hug a man at this moment. I pushed him away and he understood my guilt. He put on his clothes and shoes & left. I was shocked at myself and all sorts of doubts started planting in my brain. How could i allaow myself sucking a cock? being a bottom?

[Clanclang5]

All my doubts are washed away when my girlfriend visited me for a weekend. The guilt from my encounter with Seb has been erased after a good fuck session with my girl. She showered lots of love and care that i instantly forgot about my guilt and turned into normal. During a fuck session, when i was fucking her from behind, i inserted my finger into her ass, she protested but her pounded her with more energy which eventually made her moan more. Later she asked me what is with all this ass play and she isn't intereted in all this play.
I asked her why & she told me that she was afraid of my size enetering her hole. We haven't discussed any ass play later. My girl is conservative but she enjoys sex as much as anyone. She doesn't take any intiation but rarely oppose any of my ideas.
She is an exhibitionist & a switch who enjoys soft domination. The sex with her is beautiful and she is light of my life but she also knew that i veiw sex & love as two different things. She hates such ideas. She doesn' like watching extra martial affairs or cuckold scenes on screen. Life was good with my girl and we are planning to move forward in life.

2 years later, COVID happened. The distance between my girl and me as increased as i am living brussels now and she was living in Amsterdam. Our government has put a lockdown and we couldn't meet often. We are on calls most of the day and during other time i started watching hypno videos. It was a free fall and i haven't recovered. I started watching them all for masturabtion. Slowly my curioisty returned back and i started exploring this side of sexuality. One day my interest in men returned and i installed the dating app. This time i want to meet bottoms and i made up my mind. But as soon as i installed the app, i saw messages from Seb who was worried about my well being after the night. My mind went numb and i texted back Seb but he was offline from few weeks on the app. So i texted on his snapchat that he provided in the messages.
Same day he called me back and we spoke about all the last 2 years. It was fun and felt like 2 old friends catching up. we discussed about politics, family, covid and economy. but slowly the talks turned dark with our sexual encounter as focus point. I admitted to him that i enjoyed meeting him. we started about sex and slowly we thought about meeting again. Seb told me that his locomotive will reach Brussels in 2 weeks for an emergency and he will a night for himself to rest until next journey.

I was happy to listen to him but now i'm worried and confused. I don't want my girl to know about this but also i don't want to miss exploring this side of my sexuality. So i met Seb

[Clanclang5]

All my doubts are washed away when my girlfriend visited me for a weekend. The guilt from my encounter with Seb has been erased after a good fuck session with my girl. She showered lots of love and care that i instantly forgot about my guilt and turned into normal. During a fuck session, when i was fucking her from behind, i inserted my finger into her ass, she protested but her pounded her with more energy which eventually made her moan more. Later she asked me what is with all this ass play and she isn't intereted in all this play.
I asked her why & she told me that she was afraid of my size enetering her hole. We haven't discussed any ass play later. My girl is conservative but she enjoys sex as much as anyone. She doesn't take any intiation but rarely oppose any of my ideas.
She is an exhibitionist & a switch who enjoys soft domination. The sex with her is beautiful and she is light of my life but she also knew that i veiw sex & love as two different things. She hates such ideas. She doesn' like watching extra martial affairs or cuckold scenes on screen. Life was good with my girl and we are planning to move forward in life.

2 years later, COVID happened. The distance between my girl and me as increased as i am living brussels now and she was living in Amsterdam. Our government has put a lockdown and we couldn't meet often. We are on calls most of the day and during other time i started watching hypno videos. It was a free fall and i haven't recovered. I started watching them all for masturabtion. Slowly my curioisty returned back and i started exploring this side of sexuality. One day my interest in men returned and i installed the dating app. This time i want to meet bottoms and i made up my mind. But as soon as i installed the app, i saw messages from Seb who was worried about my well being after the night. My mind went numb and i texted back Seb but he was offline from few weeks on the app. So i texted on his snapchat that he provided in the messages.
Same day he called me back and we spoke about all the last 2 years. It was fun and felt like 2 old friends catching up. we discussed about politics, family, covid and economy. but slowly the talks turned dark with our sexual encounter as focus point. I admitted to him that i enjoyed meeting him. we started about sex and slowly we thought about meeting again. Seb told me that his locomotive will reach Brussels in 2 weeks for an emergency and he will a night for himself to rest until next journey.

I was happy to listen to him but now i'm worried and confused. I don't want my girl to know about this but also i don't want to miss exploring this side of my sexuality. So i met Seb!

I watched countless videos of anal dildo hero and hypnotube. Then i made a big decision of preparing myself for Seb. I learned about Anal cleaning, butt plugs and sucking cock. I ordered myself a dildo similar to size of Seb and started fucking myself with it. I felt like an idiot for doing this but i couldn't help myself. The wait was long and everyday i used send my videos to Seb on Snapchat. It was magical and Seb was excited. Then something unexpected happened. Seb's sex friend expressed his feelings towards Seb and Seb's wife wasn't comfortable with this developement. Also she found a job in Montreal and requested Seb to join her. Finally, Seb didn't arrive but my girl arrived as in a surprise. That's end of Seb chapter and opening of a new chapter in the relationship with my girl.

My girl found my dildo, lube and enemea kit. She was confused and asked me what is happening?

That's when i explained her that i'm a bisexual and met some guys in the past. It took her few days to wrap her head around this information. I presume she never met any bisexuals in India but she took the info better than i expected. Then she understood why i met Seb and she presumed that it's because of lack of sex. Quickly we regrouped and we started taking everything openly. She has done a lot of reading on Quora & Reddit. she discussed with a lot of people on reddit and finally understood that bisexuality people can lead normal lives. I confessed about Seb and assplay.

We planned a holiday to regroup and find ourselves. We travelled to Prague and it was a magical trip. We fucked every day in morning and in the evening. We used to speak dirty which she avoided previously. We discussed about our past lovers and sex in general. It was like discovering each other again. We understoo that from hereon, we will not judge each other in bedroom. On the last night of the trip, she asked me to take her to a sex shop. We bought strapon dildo, Strapon, lube, gag and other bdsm stuff. As soon as we reached hotel, we cleaned ourselves and started our play. She asked me lay on teh bed and lift my legs. Then she inserted her tongue into ass and started playing it. The sensations are intense and she then lubed butt plug & inserted into my ass. I felt like i will explode at the very moment. Then she moved on to my chest, played a little there and sat on my face. I licked her until her orgasm and she collapsed with pleasure. It was the best orgasm she had in a long time. Then she gave a whip and she bent on her four legs. I understood and stood up with butt plug in my ass. Then i started whipping her ass and she started shouting "Thank you, Darling". She was wet and ready for further play. I tied her hands with handcuffs and started hitting on her breasts alternatively with a tickling feather and leather strap. It went on until she begged to fuck her. I accepted and fucked her until we are both done. While fucking her in missionary position, i wanted to remove my buttplug as it was uncomfortable but she insisted on keeping it my ass. I continued fucking her that way and we fell asleep.
Later in the night, i woke to a sweet sensation in my ass. My girl woke up and was twisting the butt plug in my ass. My cock woke up on it's own and my girl laughed when it twitched.
"I was waiting for you to wake up. I want to put the strap belt but you left a lot of cum, it will spoil the strapon and it feeels itchy'
I said " don't worry darling, come here"
She was hesitant but i pulled her to sit on my face. then i started exploring her pussy hole with tongue and started cleaning our mixed juices. It was wild and all my cuckold smut came into my brain. I licked her clean and fluffy and she was disappointed when i stopped.I chuckled.
Then she stood up and put on her strapon belt and fixed the dildo on the strapon. She did put a lots of lube on the dildo and replaced the butt plug in my ass with dildo. Dildo was similar to men cocks but with a pink color. My girl fucked me slowly at first and the pushed me to doggy style. That's when it felt so good. She increased the speed and precum started dropping from my cock. The pleasure and pain are intense and my girl started slapping my ass cheeks. It's humilating to accept but i moaned like bitch, like literally a whore in heat. I couldn't take anymore and flipped my girlfriend and pushed the strapon to side. Then i fucked her there is no tomorrow. post orgasm, it felt silly but we laughed with heart content. From then on, we started bdsm & pegging when ever we had lot of time. It was fun, not gonna lie.

Then our marriage happened in Brussels and My girl's parents aren't happy to marry her daughter to an european. Still, we are happy and explored about each other. We bought a house, a good paying salary and my girl moved to Brussels. During my wife's business visits, i go through cuckold and bisexual smut for masturbation. But i never imagine my wife as hotwife, not even remotely. I know she strongly hates this lifestyle though she doesn't know what a cuckold and hotwife means. But suddenly she said something and it is reason why i am writing here today.

My wife's parents have accepted us and we are travelling to India next week. She told me it's difficult to have sex at my in laws house and i told her that then we shoould have all the sex now. That opened floodgates and we are having sex at every corner of the house. But yesterday she was riding me slow
" Darling! My pussy is tired. Tell me a story while i slowly rides you"
I was telling her a story where wife sneaks behind her husband. She increased her speed.
"Darling! Tell me your wildest fantasies"
I thought for a second "Sure baby, I want to fuck you on a beach side"
That kept her going as i know she has exhibitionist side.
"Tell me more darling"
I thought all possible fantasies but i want to keep her going, so i said "May be i will take you a sex club where i expose you to horny people"
She moaned a loud whimper. "Tell me more"
I was excited "May be there will be people there who will be interested in touching you in this place"
"Where will they touch me? Will i be naked?"
I am surprised as she hates such talk. But i want to up the ante "yes you will be naked and they will touch you body, you breasts......"
She increased her tempo and closed her eyes as if lost in thoughts "Will they go futher? Will you allow them to take liberties with me?"
I was shocked beyond anything, don't know what to say "Oh yes but will you allow me to play with other girls?"
I thought to escape from answering her by reverse questing but she slowed her speed and replied "Yeah sure i may allow you play with other but will you allow me?"
I caught dry in my throat and she was milking my dick with challenging tone "tell me, do you allow the men play with my breasts and may be more"
I can see my approaching orgasm and replied "Yes"

Thta's it she rubbed as fast as possible. I emptied my cum in her and she came at the same time.

Now what's happening? Where do i stand amid all these arousals?