Indecisive

[couplegr]

this is probably gonna be long and English is not my native language i hope i get you the point
I am male 50 years old into my second marriage, i clarify this cause it’s actually very relevant
In my first marriage which lasted 16 years I openly expressed my desire to share her with another man ,for years we roll played with a friend of mine and these times she would definitely get hornier ,I don’t know if she was that good into the role playing but she gave the clue that it might happen some time even thought she was always always saying that it was bed talk and she would never be a hotwife for real
Then the divorce came and i had a relationship with a friend of hers ,the friend told me that she knew all about our marriage and reason for divorce ,from her side was that i kept pushing her for a Mfm continually and she could told take it anymore
Anyhow maybe that was the reason ?never clarified
So to the new girlfriend and actuall friend of hers i never denied the Hotwife scenario i wanted with my then ex wife and she seemed more understanding of the scenario and maybe willing to explore but i wasnt in that mood with her ( ruined opportunity i know )
So off to my second marriage now (5 years) with a gorgeous woman 7 years younger than me and i still cannot decide if i should open up to her about my fantasies which I definitely have for her too
There is this neighbour of ours ,he is an ex model 44 years old (absolutely gorgeous even though i am not gay )he is engaged but his fiance is out of town most of the time ,and i am pretty sure that my wife would love to fuck him if she would get a chance ,she is interested in his personal life and many times out of the blue asks me questions about him ( we are friends in social media with him but not her )
So inside my head I create scenarios of both introducing him in our role playing in bed and more over i would love to set them up for real too
But due to all the previous experiences something still holds me back

[Fearlesspain]

I think you should be open about your desires, but not pressure into doing something she isn't comfortable with.

[Wantsomefunto]

I agree, open up to her about your thoughts of her with the neighbor and see how she reacts. Worst thing is she says no.

[QuietHope]

I agree with above replies. Let her know what turns you on, nothing to lose. Maybe she'll at least engage is some role play or something.

But don't push it too hard. One of the catch 22's of this whole game is that she is supposed to love the experience which doesn't happen if she's being forced or "doing it for you".

[ferrisandrews]

Yes, you should open up to her about how you feel. The riskier thing with this conversation isn't that you bring it up, but how you bring it up. One thing you have going for you is that you know her pretty well at this point, so that enables you to understand what resonates with her and what may offend her.

The biggest mistake that husbands (especially) make in bringing this up is that they put their wives on the spot. They do this because it's easier to ask her how she feels about something, asks her whether she would like to do something, asks her whether she would be willing to do something ... instead of just keeping the focus on themselves. It's easier, because it doesn't require as much courage and they don't have to be vulnerable or come to grips with their own feelings, they can externalize it and project it.

Take some time with this, do a lot of reading, decide how to approach things so they seem more interesting and exciting to her and less of a threat.

Some easy things you can do are keeping things playful. Reveal bits of yourself to her, things that you may find a little embarrassing or uncomfortable (if you're not either of those things you're not doing it right). If you see something that turns you on, reveal it, then move on. Don't ask for a discussion about it, just reveal it in a playful and embarrassed way, then move on. If she asks questions, sure go ahead and answer them, but let her lead the conversation. Men are extremely bad about wanting to force the discussion and force direction, which will make her want to push back, recoil and/or run for the hills. This discussion is best left as an open door while you both explore, get more comfortable and let her get closer to it (and maybe even go through it eventually). If she feels like you're pushing her through it, you'll make matters much worse and turn her off to the idea completely.

Women hate the idea of this lifestyle, but they like the way it feels. So find ways where she can feel positive experiences about the lifestyle without having to analyze it like a homework assignment.

Good luck!