Ask a Hotwife Thread, to be answered by VHWs only!

[2inUPMichigan]

What a great forum! My wife and I have been married for a very long time. She has a very religious background but also has a freaky side. We have been discussing this for a long time and I’ve been trying very hard not to push. For several years now it’s just been a an appetizer and I’m resolved that this will probably be it and I’ve come to grips with it. BUT, she threw me a big curve the other day!
She said she would do it - definitely do it, but she is afraid that she might end up resenting me. She doesn’t know why but she is fearful this may happen. I asked her if she felt pressured and she said “not anymore, I did at first. But I would definitely do it if I could be assured I would t resent you.” We talked it over as I am concerned she feels pressured, but she assured me she doesn’t and she is working through this issue.
It was kind of a buzzkill for me as I’ve been so patient and really tried to keep her interests as number 1. So twofold question here. Have any hot wives felt the same as her? Was there anything that happened that got you over the hump?
Thanks for all your efforts trying to make sense out of this lifestyle!

Welcome to OHW Potentialstagvixen

If she is concerned she may resent you then it sounds like she hasn't resolved the pictures of herself in her mind.

If I had not done the mental gymnastics to transition from a monogamous married woman to a non-monogamous hotwife I might have reacted in exactly that way once I took that big step. I might have resented my husband if I felt bad about myself after the fact.

This doesn't sound like it is about you if that is what you are thinking.
Becoming a hotwife can be an internal struggle!

I really had to carefully think over each issue then go to my hubby with questions and be assured that he would stop everything and answer them on the spot. We had lots of little conversations about this until I figured things out. Be patient as she works through this puzzle and Good Luck!

[R_H_NC]

What a great forum! My wife and I have been married for a very long time. She has a very religious background but also has a freaky side. We have been discussing this for a long time and I’ve been trying very hard not to push. For several years now it’s just been a an appetizer and I’m resolved that this will probably be it and I’ve come to grips with it. BUT, she threw me a big curve the other day!
She said she would do it - definitely do it, but she is afraid that she might end up resenting me. She doesn’t know why but she is fearful this may happen. I asked her if she felt pressured and she said “not anymore, I did at first. But I would definitely do it if I could be assured I would t resent you.” We talked it over as I am concerned she feels pressured, but she assured me she doesn’t and she is working through this issue.
It was kind of a buzzkill for me as I’ve been so patient and really tried to keep her interests as number 1. So twofold question here. Have any hot wives felt the same as her? Was there anything that happened that got you over the hump?
Thanks for all your efforts trying to make sense out of this lifestyle!

Welcome to OHW Potentialstagvixen

If she is concerned she may resent you then it sounds like she hasn't resolved the pictures of herself in her mind.

If I had not done the mental gymnastics to transition from a monogamous married woman to a non-monogamous hotwife I might have reacted in exactly that way once I took that big step. I might have resented my husband if I felt bad about myself after the fact.

This doesn't sound like it is about you if that is what you are thinking.
Becoming a hotwife can be an internal struggle!

I really had to carefully think over each issue then go to my hubby with questions and be assured that he would stop everything and answer them on the spot. We had lots of little conversations about this until I figured things out. Be patient as she works through this puzzle and Good Luck!

Would that resentment be born of the fact that a husband not only 'allowed' the wife to have sex with other men, but encouraged it? I have often wondered that myself. Resentment and loss of respect for the husband.

[Adabel]

What a great forum! My wife and I have been married for a very long time. She has a very religious background but also has a freaky side. We have been discussing this for a long time and I’ve been trying very hard not to push. For several years now it’s just been a an appetizer and I’m resolved that this will probably be it and I’ve come to grips with it. BUT, she threw me a big curve the other day!
She said she would do it - definitely do it, but she is afraid that she might end up resenting me. She doesn’t know why but she is fearful this may happen. I asked her if she felt pressured and she said “not anymore, I did at first. But I would definitely do it if I could be assured I would t resent you.” We talked it over as I am concerned she feels pressured, but she assured me she doesn’t and she is working through this issue.
It was kind of a buzzkill for me as I’ve been so patient and really tried to keep her interests as number 1. So twofold question here. Have any hot wives felt the same as her? Was there anything that happened that got you over the hump?
Thanks for all your efforts trying to make sense out of this lifestyle!

Welcome to OHW Potentialstagvixen

If she is concerned she may resent you then it sounds like she hasn't resolved the pictures of herself in her mind.

If I had not done the mental gymnastics to transition from a monogamous married woman to a non-monogamous hotwife I might have reacted in exactly that way once I took that big step. I might have resented my husband if I felt bad about myself after the fact.

This doesn't sound like it is about you if that is what you are thinking.
Becoming a hotwife can be an internal struggle!

I really had to carefully think over each issue then go to my hubby with questions and be assured that he would stop everything and answer them on the spot. We had lots of little conversations about this until I figured things out. Be patient as she works through this puzzle and Good Luck!

Would that resentment be born of the fact that a husband not only 'allowed' the wife to have sex with other men, but encouraged it? I have often wondered that myself. Resentment and loss of respect for the husband.

Not a lost of respect for the husband, but feel the husband doesn't love her as much as she thought or as much as she loves him.

[R_H_NC]

Not a lost of respect for the husband, but feel the husband doesn't love her as much as she thought or as much as she loves him.

I get that. My only venture into the lifestyle was several years ago with a GF. I handled things piss poorly. Very little communication. Handled differently she very well might have come to really enjoy the lifestyle. Alas, there was no OHW (or if there was anything like this I didn't know about it).

She came to think just as you describe.

Thanks for your input?

[long4her]

Dear VHWs, second question in quick succession.

I’ve bought my wife vibrators and dildos in the past and she said she uses them but I suspect not. She’d never order them herself. I just like the idea of her pleasuring herself and maybe fantasizing about a lover. Question: ( and I know every woman is different) Would you consider your husband doing this to be a loving act or being controlling?

I think you need to look deep down at why you got her the toys in the first place.... For her pleasure or for yours "I just like the idea of her pleasuring herself and maybe fantasizing about a lover."

Another thought:
It sounds to me that you might want to know when she uses them (it's a turn on for you). You could ask her to tell you right after the next time she uses it. Then if she does, take her in your arms and tell her she's so beautiful or something very rewarding for her. Or maybe even offer to cook dinner. Hahaha

Thanks Heather Jean, that’s a good question, and when I think about it, it’s for her pleasure primarily. I love how relaxed and carefree she is after sex and I want her to experience that more often. But, it is secondarily, a turn on for me too.

If I do as you say it will remove the stigma I think she has around using them and make her feel loved in the process.

[Subcucky]

I am new to this board. I have been trying to get my wife into the idea of cuckolding me. When we met she originally thought I was more dominant but she later found out that I am totally submissive and bisexual which was a turn off for her.

We originally had experimented with me putting her in light bondage which made here very wet. Now she tells me that the thought of doing that with me is a problem because she sees me as submissive although the idea of being with an alpha male who is dominant would make her be more sexually adventurous.

In addition, when she was married like 15 years ago she had a series of affairs because the sex with her then husband wasn’t good enough. We are seeing a sex positive counselor and she is becoming a little more bold. She recently told me when she was visiting our old home state that she was going to have dinner with a long time male friend who she was FWB in high school with.

I am wondering from a ladies perspective, do you think I have a good shot at being cuckolded? I hope so

[htm100]

Dear hot wives, my question to you, if you want to answer, is simply this - are you happy?

I have someone who tells me that most people who have casual sex are not happy. Of course, hot wifing might be described as extra curricular activity from a supportive and stable loving relationship, rather than casual sex and one night stands between strangers. So in one sense it isn’t classic casual sex, but it is also difficult not to describe it as casual sex at the same time...?

So hence the reasons for the question. Are you really happy in the hotwife life style?

Does it all end in tears eventually? I know of quite a few cases that end up in divorce or basically the man living in complete abstinence because the wife isn’t attracted to him anymore, or doesn’t satisfy her anymore - especially when the wife has got into sex with black men.

[2inUPMichigan]

Dear hot wives, my question to you, if you want to answer, is simply this - are you happy?

I have someone who tells me that most people who have casual sex are not happy. Of course, hot wifing might be described as extra curricular activity from a supportive and stable loving relationship, rather than casual sex and one night stands between strangers. So in one sense it isn’t classic casual sex, but it is also difficult not to describe it as casual sex at the same time...?

So hence the reasons for the question. Are you really happy in the hotwife life style?

Does it all end in tears eventually? I know of quite a few cases that end up in divorce or basically the man living in complete abstinence because the wife isn’t attracted to him anymore, or doesn’t satisfy her anymore - especially when the wife has got into sex with black men.

Welcome to OHW htm100

Am I happy? Happy is a choice people make and yes I choose to be happy. No one else can make another person happy.

Casual sex? I don't have one night stands. I did in one instance decide not to see a man after one night with him because we simply were a bad match (it happens). Maybe someone looking in from the outside might describe my play dates as casual sex but that isn't the way I view them at all. I only seek out men that are willing and able to commit to long term FWB type relationships. I don’t have sex with strangers

CAN it end in tears? Of course but so do a lot of vanilla marriages. There is no guarantee of any relationships of any types working out unless you put in the work to maintain them.

Look at those cases that ended in divorce and see if they were actually communicating with each other. Was it all about the kink or was there a core relationship left? Did both of them take the time to nature their bond? In most cases blaming hotwifing seems to be an easier answer than looking for deeper reasons why marriages fail.

This is NOT a good choice for everyone and couples should prepare themselves for the bumps in the road. Working on communication skills before taking that big step would be very helpful. If you aren't solid you could crack and that is sad

[Potentialstagvixen]

What a great forum! My wife and I have been married for a very long time. She has a very religious background but also has a freaky side. We have been discussing this for a long time and I’ve been trying very hard not to push. For several years now it’s just been a an appetizer and I’m resolved that this will probably be it and I’ve come to grips with it. BUT, she threw me a big curve the other day!
She said she would do it - definitely do it, but she is afraid that she might end up resenting me. She doesn’t know why but she is fearful this may happen. I asked her if she felt pressured and she said “not anymore, I did at first. But I would definitely do it if I could be assured I would t resent you.” We talked it over as I am concerned she feels pressured, but she assured me she doesn’t and she is working through this issue.
It was kind of a buzzkill for me as I’ve been so patient and really tried to keep her interests as number 1. So twofold question here. Have any hot wives felt the same as her? Was there anything that happened that got you over the hump?
Thanks for all your efforts trying to make sense out of this lifestyle!

Welcome to OHW Potentialstagvixen

If she is concerned she may resent you then it sounds like she hasn't resolved the pictures of herself in her mind.

If I had not done the mental gymnastics to transition from a monogamous married woman to a non-monogamous hotwife I might have reacted in exactly that way once I took that big step. I might have resented my husband if I felt bad about myself after the fact.

This doesn't sound like it is about you if that is what you are thinking.
Becoming a hotwife can be an internal struggle!

I really had to carefully think over each issue then go to my hubby with questions and be assured that he would stop everything and answer them on the spot. We had lots of little conversations about this until I figured things out. Be patient as she works through this puzzle and Good Luck!

Thank you for your thoughtful response. I’ve learned more about patience with this endeavor than I ever thought possible. I imagine that the transition of how you view yourself is a tremendous internal struggle for many. Just the pressures of society itself on how women “should” see themselves in and of itself is tremendous! Throw in a woman’s right to express herself and enjoy her sexuality and it becomes a pressure cooker. I’ll keep loving her and do my best to wait!

[Potentialstagvixen]

What a great forum! My wife and I have been married for a very long time. She has a very religious background but also has a freaky side. We have been discussing this for a long time and I’ve been trying very hard not to push. For several years now it’s just been a an appetizer and I’m resolved that this will probably be it and I’ve come to grips with it. BUT, she threw me a big curve the other day!
She said she would do it - definitely do it, but she is afraid that she might end up resenting me. She doesn’t know why but she is fearful this may happen. I asked her if she felt pressured and she said “not anymore, I did at first. But I would definitely do it if I could be assured I would t resent you.” We talked it over as I am concerned she feels pressured, but she assured me she doesn’t and she is working through this issue.
It was kind of a buzzkill for me as I’ve been so patient and really tried to keep her interests as number 1. So twofold question here. Have any hot wives felt the same as her? Was there anything that happened that got you over the hump?
Thanks for all your efforts trying to make sense out of this lifestyle!

Welcome to OHW Potentialstagvixen

If she is concerned she may resent you then it sounds like she hasn't resolved the pictures of herself in her mind.

If I had not done the mental gymnastics to transition from a monogamous married woman to a non-monogamous hotwife I might have reacted in exactly that way once I took that big step. I might have resented my husband if I felt bad about myself after the fact.

This doesn't sound like it is about you if that is what you are thinking.
Becoming a hotwife can be an internal struggle!

I really had to carefully think over each issue then go to my hubby with questions and be assured that he would stop everything and answer them on the spot. We had lots of little conversations about this until I figured things out. Be patient as she works through this puzzle and Good Luck!

Would that resentment be born of the fact that a husband not only 'allowed' the wife to have sex with other men, but encouraged it? I have often wondered that myself. Resentment and loss of respect for the husband.

In our case, I don’t think that is the issue as we have discussed this at length. She knows how much I respect her. The other issue is that I’m actually quite dominant and not into humiliation at all. This has served us well in the past when she has received unwanted attention. It truly is all about her and the excitement dissipates quickly when she has reservations or doubts. All of this doesn’t discount the fact that she could indeed have those feelings after the deed is done even though that is not her concern at the moment. I appreciate your input but the main o tent of my post was to see if any other wives had this specific fear and if it was the last thread holding them back.

[Potentialstagvixen]

What a great forum! My wife and I have been married for a very long time. She has a very religious background but also has a freaky side. We have been discussing this for a long time and I’ve been trying very hard not to push. For several years now it’s just been a an appetizer and I’m resolved that this will probably be it and I’ve come to grips with it. BUT, she threw me a big curve the other day!
She said she would do it - definitely do it, but she is afraid that she might end up resenting me. She doesn’t know why but she is fearful this may happen. I asked her if she felt pressured and she said “not anymore, I did at first. But I would definitely do it if I could be assured I would t resent you.” We talked it over as I am concerned she feels pressured, but she assured me she doesn’t and she is working through this issue.
It was kind of a buzzkill for me as I’ve been so patient and really tried to keep her interests as number 1. So twofold question here. Have any hot wives felt the same as her? Was there anything that happened that got you over the hump?
Thanks for all your efforts trying to make sense out of this lifestyle!

Welcome to OHW Potentialstagvixen

If she is concerned she may resent you then it sounds like she hasn't resolved the pictures of herself in her mind.

If I had not done the mental gymnastics to transition from a monogamous married woman to a non-monogamous hotwife I might have reacted in exactly that way once I took that big step. I might have resented my husband if I felt bad about myself after the fact.

This doesn't sound like it is about you if that is what you are thinking.
Becoming a hotwife can be an internal struggle!

I really had to carefully think over each issue then go to my hubby with questions and be assured that he would stop everything and answer them on the spot. We had lots of little conversations about this until I figured things out. Be patient as she works through this puzzle and Good Luck!

I thought I responded already but I’m getting use to this board. Thank you for the thoughtful response. I can definitely see how your self image will drive everything. If she is not comfortable seeing herself as a hotwife, free to experience all that her sexuality has to offer, then logically someone or something would need to be blamed! I appreciate your insight. I was really looking for input from wives and appreciate the time!

[Kate88]

I am new to this board. I have been trying to get my wife into the idea of cuckolding me. When we met she originally thought I was more dominant but she later found out that I am totally submissive and bisexual which was a turn off for her.

We originally had experimented with me putting her in light bondage which made here very wet. Now she tells me that the thought of doing that with me is a problem because she sees me as submissive although the idea of being with an alpha male who is dominant would make her be more sexually adventurous.

In addition, when she was married like 15 years ago she had a series of affairs because the sex with her then husband wasn’t good enough. We are seeing a sex positive counselor and she is becoming a little more bold. She recently told me when she was visiting our old home state that she was going to have dinner with a long time male friend who she was FWB in high school with.

I am wondering from a ladies perspective, do you think I have a good shot at being cuckolded? I hope so

Yea I think it's better for you both if your wife dates and has sex with your consent and awareness rather than cheat on you behind your back. So maybe just suggest to her that you don't mind if she hooks up with her old fwb just making sure she uses condoms and keeps it safe etc. Also maybe arrange a call with the guy before she goes so that you can talk to him honestly and ask him to take care of your wife?

[R_H_NC]

In our case, I don’t think that is the issue as we have discussed this at length. She knows how much I respect her. The other issue is that I’m actually quite dominant and not into humiliation at all. This has served us well in the past when she has received unwanted attention. It truly is all about her and the excitement dissipates quickly when she has reservations or doubts. All of this doesn’t discount the fact that she could indeed have those feelings after the deed is done even though that is not her concern at the moment. I appreciate your input but the main o tent of my post was to see if any other wives had this specific fear and if it was the last thread holding them back.

Sorry not to be clear. My comment and question was intended for 2UP. I find her to be a thoughtful and insightful HW. I often try to pick her brain on the inner thought process of the lifestyle.

[long4her]

Dear VHWs, second question in quick succession.

I’ve bought my wife vibrators and dildos in the past and she said she uses them but I suspect not. She’d never order them herself. I just like the idea of her pleasuring herself and maybe fantasizing about a lover. Question: ( and I know every woman is different) Would you consider your husband doing this to be a loving act or being controlling?

I think you need to look deep down at why you got her the toys in the first place.... For her pleasure or for yours "I just like the idea of her pleasuring herself and maybe fantasizing about a lover."

Another thought:
It sounds to me that you might want to know when she uses them (it's a turn on for you). You could ask her to tell you right after the next time she uses it. Then if she does, take her in your arms and tell her she's so beautiful or something very rewarding for her. Or maybe even offer to cook dinner. Hahaha

I took your advice and had the house clean when she got home from her stressful job. I then cooked dinner and told her she could go for a walk while I did. She felt great and so did I. Nothing sex-related, just great feelings between a husband and wife. I guess I just needed reminding.

Oh, and next morning I gave her my patented 10 minute hot oil foot rub. Bliss for both of us.

Thanks so much for the advice!

[htm100]

Dear hot wives, my question to you, if you want to answer, is simply this - are you happy?

I have someone who tells me that most people who have casual sex are not happy. Of course, hot wifing might be described as extra curricular activity from a supportive and stable loving relationship, rather than casual sex and one night stands between strangers. So in one sense it isn’t classic casual sex, but it is also difficult not to describe it as casual sex at the same time...?




So hence the reasons for the question. Are you really happy in the hotwife life style?

Does it all end in tears eventually? I know of quite a few cases that end up in divorce or basically the man living in complete abstinence because the wife isn’t attracted to him anymore, or doesn’t satisfy her anymore - especially when the wife has got into sex with black men.

Welcome to OHW htm100

Am I happy? Happy is a choice people make and yes I choose to be happy. No one else can make another person happy.

Casual sex? I don't have one night stands. I did in one instance decide not to see a man after one night with him because we simply were a bad match (it happens). Maybe someone looking in from the outside might describe my play dates as casual sex but that isn't the way I view them at all. I only seek out men that are willing and able to commit to long term FWB type relationships. I don’t have sex with strangers

CAN it end in tears? Of course but so do a lot of vanilla marriages. There is no guarantee of any relationships of any types working out unless you put in the work to maintain them.

Ok thanks for answering.

[Potentialstagvixen]

Ok. My wife would like her first time to be organic. Like she bumps into a guy during the normal course of her day preferably on vacation (haha) and thinks happen. She knows this is highly unlikely so she entertains other methods of contact. My question today for the hotwives out there is “ what was your first time? Was it organic, happen naturally or did it require some seeking out of another man? Thanks in advance!

[Farmgirl]

Dear hot wives, my question to you, if you want to answer, is simply this - are you happy?

I have someone who tells me that most people who have casual sex are not happy. Of course, hot wifing might be described as extra curricular activity from a supportive and stable loving relationship, rather than casual sex and one night stands between strangers. So in one sense it isn’t classic casual sex, but it is also difficult not to describe it as casual sex at the same time...?

So hence the reasons for the question. Are you really happy in the hotwife life style?

Does it all end in tears eventually? I know of quite a few cases that end up in divorce or basically the man living in complete abstinence because the wife isn’t attracted to him anymore, or doesn’t satisfy her anymore - especially when the wife has got into sex with black men.

I'm very happy, I have a full, rewarding, and blessed life.
I don't have "casual sex and one night stands between strangers". Why would it all "end in tears eventually"? I've been a Hotwife for 28 years. Most of what you're saying is based on fantasy or a misunderstanding of real hotwifing.

[4herpleasure89]

Well said and other than dealing with my up and down emotions my Hotwife of 12 years would say the same thing. She has two long term bareback partners that rock her world.

[Adabel]

Ok. My wife would like her first time to be organic. Like she bumps into a guy during the normal course of her day preferably on vacation (haha) and thinks happen. She knows this is highly unlikely so she entertains other methods of contact. My question today for the hotwives out there is “ what was your first time? Was it organic, happen naturally or did it require some seeking out of another man? Thanks in advance!

Ours took seeking out. Now we are only doing mfms or hubs in the room. We also don't want to play with anyone close to home since I don't want to run into them while at the grocery store. So since we have these requirements it would be alot harder to just bump into a guy. It took alot of going through and talking to alot of different men to find the right fit. Also time for scheduling to line up right. So from the time we joined a site to when we actually had a meet took 7 months I believe.

[SSQ]

Dear hot wives, my question to you, if you want to answer, is simply this - are you happy?

I have someone who tells me that most people who have casual sex are not happy. Of course, hot wifing might be described as extra curricular activity from a supportive and stable loving relationship, rather than casual sex and one night stands between strangers. So in one sense it isn’t classic casual sex, but it is also difficult not to describe it as casual sex at the same time...?

So hence the reasons for the question. Are you really happy in the hotwife life style?

Does it all end in tears eventually? I know of quite a few cases that end up in divorce or basically the man living in complete abstinence because the wife isn’t attracted to him anymore, or doesn’t satisfy her anymore - especially when the wife has got into sex with black men.

Of course I'm happy. Why would casual sex be a turnoff? There's more than one way to have sex, and they're all good as long as there's enthusiastic consent. There are people who go to casual sex as a fix for other issues, but that's not about the sex- it's about a coping mechanism and it's no different if it was drugs or alcohol. Perhaps those are the type of people your "someone" is thinking of?

Marriages end for a lot of reasons. As many as 50% of marriages end in divorce, and I'm sure a higher total percentage are unhappy. You can't use that as the yardstick to determine that nonmonogamy is the cause. Look at all the marriages that end via cheating. At least theoretically, hotwifing is supposed to be ethical nomonogamy, although it seems that people draw that line in very different places.

Sexual desire is also something that waxes and wanes on both sides of a long term relationship. What's important is working on the connection between the spouses to make sure that it remains a fulfilling intimate connection in whatever way works for them. Personally, I don't understand how having good sex with other people would stop me from having great sex with my husband. Sex with different people is different- that shouldn't need to be said. I love sex with my husband. I love listening to the sounds he makes and the expression on his face and watching him cum and everything in between. If your partner isn't satisfying you, more communication is needed to work that out. Satisfaction doesn't come merely from the size of your cock but whether you listen to what your partner wants and needs. And frankly, if she does love size? There's always extenders that can provide pleasure to both partners.

I would not go back to monogamy.

[CurvyNerdMILF]

Ok. My wife would like her first time to be organic. Like she bumps into a guy during the normal course of her day preferably on vacation (haha) and thinks happen. She knows this is highly unlikely so she entertains other methods of contact. My question today for the hotwives out there is “ what was your first time? Was it organic, happen naturally or did it require some seeking out of another man? Thanks in advance!

Where we are, there are still a lot of folks (including me) who are not really socializing indoors without masks. This fact alone makes it hard to meet people. When we opened up just a couple of months ago, there was basically no way I could just organically meet someone who wasn’t a neighbor. As a result, this is going to be a lot of work for your wife. You can help her create accounts, take photos, and screen guys she might like, but this has to come from her.

I use apps and websites (like here) to look for guys, who I then submit to a pretty intense period of texting and in-person meetings. And when I say “intense,” I mean I’ve been matched (both potential partners liking each other) with at least a 100 guys on Feeld and approached by maybe a couple dozen from FetLife (only been on there maybe a couple of weeks). Once I feel like a guy is who he says he is, I then switch off-platform to chat on Kik.

The best way to figure out chemistry before meeting someone is to really chat with them. Like a lot. Look forward consistency in their story about who they are, what they are looking for, what they see in you. Talk about your sexual preferences freely then—can you build a fantasy with them? Are you turned on talking back and forth? If you want to talk on the phone, but don’t want them to have your regular number, use Skype. You can also have virtual visits, sexting, and even shared masturbation sessions together. Be careful with video and don’t use it until/unless you really trust the person. They could record the screen.

By the time you get to this point of the process, you probably will have had the posers and non-serious types fall away. Politely decline to continue with anyone who just doesn’t make you feel sexy, turn you on mentally or physically, or make you feel safe and comfortable meeting them.

Then you and your wife can make agreements about how to set up first date meet-and-greets.

All of this being said—I didn’t do meet and greets for my first two partners. The first one wasn’t going to be in town long, and I’d spoken to him enough that I felt comfortable meeting him in a hotel. Likewise, I met my second partner (from here) at a hotel after weeks of intense conversations both sexual and personal. I’d seen his face and body enough by that time to know he wasn’t misrepresenting himself. Both guys were more than delightful.

[Potentialstagvixen]

Thank you for the thoughtful response. There is a lot of information that will be helpful to us both in your posts. I really appreciate your vulnerability and openness.

[Farmgirl]

Ok. My wife would like her first time to be organic. Like she bumps into a guy during the normal course of her day preferably on vacation (haha) and thinks happen. She knows this is highly unlikely so she entertains other methods of contact. My question today for the hotwives out there is “ what was your first time? Was it organic, happen naturally or did it require some seeking out of another man? Thanks in advance!

All of my times except one have been organic in that I meet my guys in person by flirting while I'm out and about.

[Potentialstagvixen]

That is super encouraging!

[Subcucky]

Question:
I have spoken to my wife about cuckolding and she has reservations. She recently expressed that she would like me to be a house husband (still working) but taking care of the house.

Do you think if we are able to move into a FLR that she may naturally warm up to cuckolding?