Playing On Vacation

[Meghans Man]

We have been discussing entering the lifestyle for years now. There’s been plenty of fantasy talk and some light playing with others but nothing full on as of yet.

We are a super busy family of 5 with all the commitments of running a business and raising 2 middle schoolers and a high schooler.

Juggling this lifestyle with day to day operations seems too overwhelming, therefore we are leaning towards this being a vacation/trip only hobby.

My question is, how do wives who require a ‘connection’ before embarking on an encounter play on vacation? Or don’t they?

[MarknSusan]

I assume you mean a vacation without the kids?

If so, I suggest that you consider going to a lifestyle resort together, maybe if it’s only for an overnight. There are plenty of them right here in the US. My wife “requires” a connection also; but she met a really good looking guy at the bar one night at a lifestyle resort and that “connection” happened really quick! They were all over each other at the bar and she invited him back to our room.

[Infiniti1970]

We have been discussing entering the lifestyle for years now. There’s been plenty of fantasy talk and some light playing with others but nothing full on as of yet.

We are a super busy family of 5 with all the commitments of running a business and raising 2 middle schoolers and a high schooler.

Juggling this lifestyle with day to day operations seems too overwhelming, therefore we are leaning towards this being a vacation/trip only hobby.

My question is, how do wives who require a ‘connection’ before embarking on an encounter play on vacation? Or don’t they?

This is totally us as well. Very busy with life at home plus playing close to home makes both of us a little nervous as we want absolute discretion. Vacation fun is our plan.

And, like your wife, mine also needs a connection for it to be enjoyable. We are hoping that someone who fits her wants comes along soon so they can exchange messages and build some chemistry so that when we do travel this summer some fun times for all involved can happen.

[zorro]

That connection, as I look back over the years, may be based on the wife's wanting a guy NOW when she meets him. Who knows the shadow internal erotic life of women? Only the women.

I agree with going to a lifestyle overnight event, if only for both of you to watch and learn (and form new fantasies), and posssibly and unexpectedly to play. Just be there to support your wife's exploration whatever it may turn out be.

[isinlarsa]

That connection, as I look back over the years, may be based on the wife's wanting a guy NOW when she meets him. Who knows the shadow internal erotic life of women? Only the women.

I agree with going to a lifestyle overnight event, if only for both of you to watch and learn (and form new fantasies), and posssibly and unexpectedly to play. Just be there to support your wife's exploration whatever it may turn out be.

My girlfriend and I went to a weekend lifestyle event. It was a new experience for me, but not for her. As you say, I watched and learned while she got fucked.

[zorro]

That connection, as I look back over the years, may be based on the wife's wanting a guy NOW when she meets him. Who knows the shadow internal erotic life of women? Only the women.

I agree with going to a lifestyle overnight event, if only for both of you to watch and learn (and form new fantasies), and posssibly and unexpectedly to play. Just be there to support your wife's exploration whatever it may turn out be.

My girlfriend and I went to a weekend lifestyle event. It was a new experience for me, but not for her. As you say, I watched and learned while she got fucked.

Good for her! There is so much for us to learn by watching, participating in what the wife does. At least, it has been for me. And it can change from guy to guy,.

[isinlarsa]

That connection, as I look back over the years, may be based on the wife's wanting a guy NOW when she meets him. Who knows the shadow internal erotic life of women? Only the women.

I agree with going to a lifestyle overnight event, if only for both of you to watch and learn (and form new fantasies), and posssibly and unexpectedly to play. Just be there to support your wife's exploration whatever it may turn out be.

My girlfriend and I went to a weekend lifestyle event. It was a new experience for me, but not for her. As you say, I watched and learned while she got fucked.

Good for her! There is so much for us to learn by watching, participating in what the wife does. At least, it has been for me. And it can change from guy to guy,.

So do you enjoy watching what your wife does (or is done to her)? Having learned your lessons, have your ever been the guy fucking another man's wife while he watched and learned?

[zorro]

I do enjoy watching her being a woman. And yes, before we renewed an old relationship, I was the extra guy who fucked and otherwise pleasured wives for about 6 years. I've been on both sides of the fence, as HW hubby and as extra guy. They are both extremely hot roles. Over the years, I had the honor of introducing 5 married couples to hotwifing in the form of MFMs. They were all happy for it, with only one deciding to bow out of the lifestyle quite some time after we started.

A good high-male-ratio sex party is a very good place for a wife to start, as long as she doesn't get scared by all that testo and cocks. She would be very much in demand. Mine loved it. YMMD.

[leo-cpl]

We have been discussing entering the lifestyle for years now. There’s been plenty of fantasy talk and some light playing with others but nothing full on as of yet.

We are a super busy family of 5 with all the commitments of running a business and raising 2 middle schoolers and a high schooler.

Juggling this lifestyle with day to day operations seems too overwhelming, therefore we are leaning towards this being a vacation/trip only hobby.

My question is, how do wives who require a ‘connection’ before embarking on an encounter play on vacation? Or don’t they?

It's an exciting phase enjoy it. My wife needs some interaction and connection too (she's never played on the first meet so far). We started chatting with prospective guys and then moved to a voice call and casual meet before we finally decided to play (those were early days).

Whether you go to lifestyle resorts or start to chat online or whatever you decide, just keep in mind to set ground rules for play and decide mutually what's off the table and communicate it to the guy as well. You want the first experience to be fun for more play meets to happens (do whatever in your means to increase probability of fun). If the first time is not fun or worse horrible it may naturally put doubts in the minds of the wives and that's just moving back more than a few steps.

Good Luck! Keep us posted

[isinlarsa]

I do enjoy watching her being a woman. And yes, before we renewed an old relationship, I was the extra guy who fucked and otherwise pleasured wives for about 6 years. I've been on both sides of the fence, as HW hubby and as extra guy. They are both extremely hot roles. Over the years, I had the honor of introducing 5 married couples to hotwifing in the form of MFMs. They were all happy for it, with only one deciding to bow out of the lifestyle quite some time after we started.

A good high-male-ratio sex party is a very good place for a wife to start, as long as she doesn't get scared by all that testo and cocks. She would be very much in demand. Mine loved it. YMMD.

I've been on both sides of HWhubby and extra guy. Being the extra guy is fun, and there is a certain thrill taking a wife and mother in front of her husband -- especially if it's the first time. But I prefer the WWhubby role, and normally have no interest in other women when she is engaging in extramarital sex. (Why does "sex" seem hotter when there is "extramarital" in front of it?)

I haven't had as much extra guy experience as you have. Were you the first guy to fuck most of the wives during their marriage? Did you always do it in front of her husband? During you six years being the extra guys, how long did the relationships last? Shortest? Longest?

Do I understand you then renewed an old relationship and stopped being the extra guy? Was she your hotwife?

Do you really think a sex party with extra men is a good place for a wife to start? That's like jumping in with both feet; although in retrospect knowing what I know now about her, I think my first wife would have taken to that like a duck to water. For my part, it would be a wonderful fantasy to bring my innocent wife to a sex party and watch a number of men fuck the hell out of her.

[zorro]

Being the extra guy is great fun -- lots of sexual energy and excitement without all the complications that dating brings when women are looking for a man to take hostage. I was the first for 5 couples (as they say, "taking her marital cherry), and yes, the husbands were always present. Actually, my preference so there would be absolutely no tension about the wife sneaking around and excluding her hubster. The relationships typically did not last very long after a few encounters. Sometimes there was a do over a few times, but eventually the couple moved on to find fresh meat. Literally. I liked to think I did well because the couple continued to engage in the HW lifestyle even if it was with other guys (and my feelings weren't hurt) and my experiences with them had been a contribution. A good HW FB knows when it is time to let go and let the couple explore its sexual potential.
I actually went through a period after my divorce when I had 3 women as regular sex partners for about a year. It was fun to have Friday's girl, Saturday's girl, and Sunday's girl every week. I did the ethical thing to ensure they knew I was seeing other women. They had remarkably no questions about the other women, and I was surprised how they accepted it -- at least for a while. I had the fortune to reunite with a woman I had loved many years before. I ended the other relationships and reunited with an extraordinary beautiful woman. After a few months to reestablish ourselves, we entered the LS, sliding between swinging and HWing. We were long ago very sex positive, and we already had 5 years of a bond before we reunited. Sharing has been very good for our relationship.

I counseled the OP to go to a sex party "to see what it's all about," with no expectation of any play. My experience is that when women witness other women enjoying sex with many men, they not infrequently get the idea that that could be them. Sometimes at the first party, sometimes at a later visit, they readily can "go native." Of course, some women are just disgusted by the sexual openness and sharing, and then they know for sure it is not for them. At least they can, through experience, make an informed decision that it is not for them. And that's better than responding without actual experience.

Just don't forget the "no expectations" part. And keep your pecker in your pants to side step stirring up jealousy responses.

[isinlarsa]

That connection, as I look back over the years, may be based on the wife's wanting a guy NOW when she meets him. Who knows the shadow internal erotic life of women? Only the women.

I agree with going to a lifestyle overnight event, if only for both of you to watch and learn (and form new fantasies), and posssibly and unexpectedly to play. Just be there to support your wife's exploration whatever it may turn out be.

My girlfriend and I went to a weekend lifestyle event. It was a new experience for me, but not for her. As you say, I watched and learned while she got fucked.

Good for her! There is so much for us to learn by watching, participating in what the wife does. At least, it has been for me. And it can change from guy to guy,.

The main thing I learned was I loved watching other men fuck her. Even though other women were available, I just wanted to focus on her sexual activities.

[zorro]

That connection, as I look back over the years, may be based on the wife's wanting a guy NOW when she meets him. Who knows the shadow internal erotic life of women? Only the women.

I agree with going to a lifestyle overnight event, if only for both of you to watch and learn (and form new fantasies), and posssibly and unexpectedly to play. Just be there to support your wife's exploration whatever it may turn out be.

My girlfriend and I went to a weekend lifestyle event. It was a new experience for me, but not for her. As you say, I watched and learned while she got fucked.

Good for her! There is so much for us to learn by watching, participating in what the wife does. At least, it has been for me. And it can change from guy to guy,.

The main thing I learned was I loved watching other men fuck her. Even though other women were available, I just wanted to focus on her sexual activities.

Understood. It is amazingly erotic!

[isinlarsa]

My girlfriend and I went to a weekend lifestyle event. It was a new experience for me, but not for her. As you say, I watched and learned while she got fucked.

Good for her! There is so much for us to learn by watching, participating in what the wife does. At least, it has been for me. And it can change from guy to guy,.

The main thing I learned was I loved watching other men fuck her. Even though other women were available, I just wanted to focus on her sexual activities.

Understood. It is amazingly erotic!

If I remember correctly, at times you have switched roles, and would fuck another man's wife in front of him. Did you find that a thrill? Would you prefer to watch your wife fucked; or is it a matter of sometimes liking one and sometimes the other? I've only fucked a woman in front of her boyfriend once, but it was fun. I've been emailing with a man about fucking his wife while he watches.

[zorro]

I enjoyed everything about fucking another man's wife in front of him. I didn't have any thoughts that I was taking her from him; in fact, I preferred that we could play with no additional relationship expectations. I felt zero superiority to the husband, just gratitude that I had been picked as an extra guy.

Perhaps because I had enjoyed watching my partner shared with others, I projected that the hubby would like it too. I also believed that all participating increased the closeness of the couple. I still think that happens a lot, so I suspect that belief is more than rationalization.
Wish you luck with the man you are emailing. Let us know what happens. I have also experienced the opposite: One woman I played with at a party had succumbed to her the wishes of her husband of 17 years: For her to fuck another man. She had lost a nipple due to breast cancer surgery, so I was the first man she had been naked with -- other than her husband -- in all those years, I enjoyed her a lot. And she really came alive with the enthusiasm of sex with a new partner. Afterwards, he was not so sure about sharing her. But she wanted more. I crossed paths with her months later at another party. She was happy to see me, but they left because "he felt ill." So, it doesn't work for everyone.

[dinoo]

Insinlara wrote:
The main thing I learned was I loved watching other men fuck her. Even though other women were available, I just wanted to focus on her sexual activities.


Like me.
I can add that I lost interest in other women.
Like insinlara said: I just wanted to focus on her sexual activities.
She pLaying around as if it was the most normal thing in the world.
Only when my wife wanted me to participate, I did because she wanted it.

[isinlarsa]

Insinlara wrote:
The main thing I learned was I loved watching other men fuck her. Even though other women were available, I just wanted to focus on her sexual activities.


Like me.
I can add that I lost interest in other women.
Like insinlara said: I just wanted to focus on her sexual activities.
She pLaying around as if it was the most normal thing in the world.
Only when my wife wanted me to participate, I did because she wanted it.

My wife has said she thinks I should take a lover, because it is only fair if she has other men, I should also be able to indulge. She doesn't seem to understand that when I know she's getting fucked by other men, my mind is totally absorb by that happening, even if I am not able to watch.

I felt the same way with my girlfriend, who I was with before I met my wife. She started by dating another man, who quickly was sharing her. I found that so hot that my cock felt like it was going to explode when she told me. She went from having only four men in her life to getting fucked by four men in an evening.

She and I started swinging together, but I discovered, when we had same room sex with another couple to watching her fucked. Fortunately we did hook up with two married couples where the wife also like to watch her husband fuck other women.