Not sure if I'm in the right place..

[MonaLisaOverdrive]

What an interesting night.

For those that want the TLDR: L didn't fuck anyone but she did masturbate with a magic wand publicly, twice. This might seem tame by this forums standards but it's a huge step forward for a Vietnamese girl that was raised to feel nothing but shame for any sexual thoughts or actions.

Now, for those that want the full story.

We arrived at 8.30pm. From the outside the club was very non-descript and understated. We were greeted at the entrance by a very friendly and jovial middle aged gentleman, she took our phones and explained a couple of details about the bar tabs, then gave us a locker key and wristband before handing us off to his stunning wife. She took us through to the lounge. Low lighting, a fully stocked bar, various seating arrangements for around 20-30 people and some dance poles and a cage! She explained that even though this is the relaxation area it can still get wild, magic wands were mounted in most seating locations.

She then took us up to the public play area. It was sectioned off into smaller areas with beds and all the play accessories you could ask for. Throughout our tour consent was emphasized repeatedly. There was a circular set of curtains with holes cut into them in the middle of one of the public play area, this was the only activity where verbal consent wasn't required. Stepping into the curtains was seen as explicit consent to be groped by anyone who wanted to put their hands inside. We were then taken through a section of whips, chains, sex swing to the bathrooms and lockers. There were some robes and she explained that at around 11pm it's club etiquette that whomever hasn't stripped down already is to strip off their outside clothes and don the robes lining the walls.

After that we were let off the leash to explore.

I got L seated in the lounge and picked up a couple of drinks. Tiger beer for me and vodka redbull for L. I returned to find her wide eyed and shocked. There was a man in his mid 60's, tall and thin with long hair wearing nothing but cowboy boots and a thong. The thong had two holes for his impressively large penis and balls to be free and exposed. Of all the things we might have expected to see, this certainly wasn't on either of our bingo cards. We both watched him throughout the evening and couldn't help feeling admiration for this guy, he danced as he moved and was obviously very comfortable in his own skin. Would that I had 1/2 of this mans confidence.

Various couples and groups filtered in and out of the lounge over the evening, we were surprised by how relaxed and confident the regulars were. With each other and in themselves. Also, by how "normal" everyone looked. Just regular people. Gradually people undressed and passed in and out of the bar to have sex, then return for more drinks.

L and I passed the time, taking it all in and adjusting to the environment. Talking and cuddling. At one point a middle aged lady in a corset (and nothing else) was being aggressively fingered beside L and the look of pure terror on her face was the cutest thing I've ever seen. I assured her that she was safe and we continued our conversation about life.

I mentioned the incredible juxtaposition of us having a deep conversation about life and our relationship while a lady was being aggressively fingered less than 2 feet away, this sent L into a fit of giggles. Eventually L decided that to become more comfortable she wanted to begin to participate in some way. So I escorted her to the bathroom where she took off her clothes and put on a silky red robe. On the way back to the bar we went the longer way through the play area and passed several groups of people fucking each others brains out.

We got more close and touchy back in the bar before L decided she wanted to try a magic wand. So we found an empty bed in the play area and L got comfortable while I put a condom on the toy. She then proceeded to masturbate to a massive orgasm in a room full of people. It was the sexiest thing I've ever seen. My shy little wife had her legs spread wide open in a room full of strangers, she looked around wide eyed, squeezing her boobs as she brought herself to a massive, convulsing orgasm.

I cleaned up the wand and we returned to the bar where we had another drink she L processed what she had just done. The majority of the people in the bar were more or less naked at this point and our old friend the Cowboy was still and the bar with his wife. L had gotten more comfortable with him now and giggled to me how his cock twitched and got hard when watching people fucking, she asked me if she should compliment him on his penis. I said sure however he may invite you to touch it, L dispensed with the idea.

It was approaching 11pm by this point and we were beginning to feel sleepy. We decided to leave but L wanted one more go with the wand before heading off. So for the 2nd time in an hour I watched by beautiful and sexy wife spread her legs in a room full of strangers and give herself a fantastic full body orgasm.

We discussed everything this morning and have decided we will definitely be going back, we're hoping to push the boundaries a little further each time. L wants to be touched and groped, so the curtains will probably be an option. We're also going to get her some sexy lingerie she can strip down into.

[skoot1958]

Good you both had a nice time, for L was it the public sex or just using a wand, does she have wand as part of your own toy collection

I think it is great that next time L wants to try the curtains did they offer glory hole as well


Did L think she could have been with anyone there, could she see herself with a couple ?

When will your attend agin ?

[MonaLisaOverdrive]

Good you both had a nice time, for L was it the public sex or just using a wand, does she have wand as part of your own toy collection

I think it is great that next time L wants to try the curtains did they offer glory hole as well


Did L think she could have been with anyone there, could she see herself with a couple ?

When will your attend agin ?

It was a mixture of the setting and the wand that set her off in such a big way. We dont own one ourselves but L said they are better but not dramatically.

They actually didn't have a glory hole. I don't know if this is an oversight or whether they are just much more into the public aspect of the activities, I suspect the latter, but it is also a fairly small place. 60 people is their max capacity.

There wasn't anyone there on the night that really attracted L. She was also an adorable ball of terror for 1/2 the night, so I think she spent her time adjusting rather than trying to identify potential play partners. She has spent a lot of time since thinking about the Cowboy and his cock though.

L definitely wants to go back semi-regularly. She thanked me for taking her while she gave me a blowjob last night and masturbated telling me what she wants to do next time. Seeing how the other ladies were dressed L told me we're going to buy her a "fuck me" dress and some sexy lingerie for her to wear. She wants to ride me while watching other people fuck and have other guys touch her while we fuck, the right guy would get more than touching.

The biggest takeaway is that L sees sex can be a fun activity, more akin to a sport to enjoy, rather than scary, shameful, and intimidating. I think getting her over the final hurdle will come down to boosting her confidence in herself and her body. Once she starts interacting with other men and getting compliments I think she will be on fire.

L goes back to Vietnam for a few weeks at the end of Feb, so the plan is to attend once more before she heads off.

[Shiphead]

It appears to me that she wants to try out the big cowboy cock. She needs you to get him to approach without her knowledge. Get him alone and explain the situation and how it is her first time. Tell him she needs to feel wanted and possibly he can ask to kiss her, touch her tits or go further. Maybe he can ask what she finds interesting or what she would like to eventually experience. Lots of scenarios but you will have to get it going before she can relax and let it happen.

[MonaLisaOverdrive]

It appears to me that she wants to try out the big cowboy cock. She needs you to get him to approach without her knowledge. Get him alone and explain the situation and how it is her first time. Tell him she needs to feel wanted and possibly he can ask to kiss her, touch her tits or go further. Maybe he can ask what she finds interesting or what she would like to eventually experience. Lots of scenarios but you will have to get it going before she can relax and let it happen.

That's definitely one way to interpret her recurring thoughts of the cowboy. However, I think she was more just shocked at the openness with which he displayed himself. L has never seen anything like that. Well, neither have I if I'm honest, but I do think he was a little too old for her to be 'attracted' to him in the sexual sense. Whether he could have made her feel comfortable enough to play with, I guess we may never know. Unless we see him at the club again

I think you are right though, I may have to make the first move in opening up dialogue with prospective men for her to play with. I was hoping some of the men from other couples would be more forward, but we did leave a little early. Next time we're going to go a little later and stay later, the action wasn't really reaching its crescendo by the time we left.

[MonaLisaOverdrive]

Just a quick update. Hope everyone is doing well.

We're going back to the lifestyle club in a couple of weeks. Saturday 10th Feb, for those counting.

L and I had a chat the other night. Her major hang-up in her mind is that she doesn't want to be seen as an "unfaithful wife", we had a chat about this and I got my point across that her having sex with other men is only unfaithful if it's done in secret. I assured her that I wanted her to have these experiences, I wanted to share them with her and I wanted her to be happy and fulfilled in her life, emotionally and sexually.

I believe we're at a point now where she understands that concept. We will talk more before we go back of course. I'm going to suggest we pick one thing for the night and try to push her boundary a little bit in that area. We're also going to stay a lot later, we left early last time before the action started but we're going to stay for the wild activities this time.

We will see where it goes, it's baby steps we're going at a pace she is comfortable with.

[MonaLisaOverdrive]

Hello everybody, hope everyone is well.

L and I were due to go to the LS club last night, however we decided to put it off by a week. We had had a couple of weeks of not really seeing eye to eye on a few matters, a couple of small disagreements but nothing serious. We decided that as we weren't at 100%, it was probably best to hold off for a little while and focus on us.

We did have sex last night and it was good. L got really into role-play about me pretending to be a guy she had met on a trip, and us having a one-night stand. She told me afterward that the idea of fucking a guy and never seeing him again really turns her on. I would say at this point it's just a matter of opportunity that is holding her back.

If the right guy is there at the right time and confidently makes a move, I think she will go for it. There is very little discussion anymore on whether would I allow this, or why. Even whether or not it's right for us. She knows she has my full encouragement to fuck a guy if she wants to.

So now it's just a matter of finding the right guy.

We will be heading to the LS club on the 18th. Maybe that will be the night, maybe not, but we're both excited to see what will happen.

[meesadan]

Fingers crossed for you both!

[MonaLisaOverdrive]

Fingers crossed for you both!

Tonight is the night.

We're playing tennis with friends, then we're on our way about 9pm.

L got up in the middle of the night 2 day ago and masturbated because she was so horny thinking about going back.
So let's home there's some handsome confident guys around for her.

[skoot1958]

Let’s hope L and you have a great time

[newUK]

Good luck! Hope you have an amazing night :-)

[MonaLisaOverdrive]

We had a good night.

Last time we left before the action kicked in, this time we did not. We arrived later, it was already pretty busy in the bar area. So we got our drinks and waited for a place to open up on the benches. When one did, we grabbed it. We spent some time chatting and L was people-watching. A guy and his wife were next to us, after a few minutes they introduced themselves. He was big bearded and obviously did manual work of some kind. Very chatty. It was their first time and I suspect nerves + drinks contributed to this. After they moved off L commented that his breath was very bad.

We dressed down a little earlier than most, around 10pm. We put on robes and got comfortable. We had another drink and thought we would find somewhere more comfortable. From the bar two small stairways lead to the play area, we took the back one and L walked directly into a massive 8-10 people gang bang. She immediately started to panic saying "It's too much, it's too much." Repeatedly. I tried to take her hand and lead her back down the stairs but in her panic, she tried to push through to the other side of the room. Which lead to her getting stuck, surrounded by a huge group of people fucking and moaning. I grabbed her hand and managed to coax her back down into the bar. Her wide-eyed panic was both extremely endearing and funny. She recovered quickly.

We took the other set of stairs, which skirted the play area and led down passed the changing rooms, a St. Andrews X to a sex swing. Behind the sex swing is a sheer curtain and a small "private" area for couples that don't want to be interrupted. We made out there for a while and L got on the bench so I could eat her pussy for a while. While eating her pussy we heard the host giving a tour to a newbie couple. "Here is our private area, as you can see a couple are playing in there at the moment." L officially had her pussy eaten in front of a group of strangers. After they left, I asked her how she felt about it. She said, "Strange." Not a negative comment though.

L decided she wanted to try the sex swing. I helped her in and hooked up her legs. She became very vocal, telling me when to fuck her and when to hold my position as she brought herself off with a magic wand. She normally doesn't give that much direction during sex, one of the reasons we started this journey. So I could tell she was worked up. There was a group of people behind me watching as she had a massive orgasm in front of them. Her legs held wide open. I then put on a condom so I could cum without making a mess. She got very vocal again telling me to cum in her and how much she wanted my cum. She was definitely having fun. After I filled the condom I brought it up and looked at it just to check it hadn't split and a lady I've never met came over and complimented me on the size of my load. She really loved how much I'd filled the condom though thought I'd wasted it as "such an impressive load would love great all over my wife's tits." I didn't know what else to say so I thanked her for the compliment.

We moved back into the bar and on the way we met our stand-out character from our last visit. The Big Cocked Cowboy. He approached us and introduced himself, massive cock on full display. Turns out his name is Klaus. Klaus and his wife Lulu are from Germany and they originally started the club 15 years ago, they sold it to the current owners about 5 years ago. It's their second home, so they are there mostly every night. He started the club because when they came to our country there was no public scene like there is in Europe. So they wanted to give the locals a place to play and an education in the Lifestyle. I'd say they did a fantastic job.

Back in the bar, we got into our conversation again and L said that she wanted to continue the journey to becoming a slut. By this point, lots of ladies were running around naked or mostly naked. L was admiring their bodies and their lingerie, she is going to buy some next time she passes through Singapore airport. They have a Victoria's Secret, which she likes. She has also decided to focus more on her diet.

We went back up to the play area, the very public beds and L brought herself off to one more massive orgasm as she lay next to a couple fucking. In the space of 90 minutes or so, she adjusted very quickly to the environment. I couldn't have been more proud of her. While we were getting dressed and she was waiting for me, a man asked her if she wanted to play with him and his wife which she politely declined.

L is already talking about the next time she wants to go back. They do a monthly event called Skirts. Which is from 7.30pm to 10pm no men allowed. They have a sexologist and sexual therapist who come to talk to the girls about all things sex, libido, etc. L is very keen to go to that.

So, another great night. No play with other men, sorry folks. But some massive steps forward for L. She is really starting to grow and get comfortable with the whole scene. In the past uncomfortable moments would've completely turned her off, but she is not only pushing through them but actually making steps forward at the same time.

[Seductionrules]

Great outcome.
The benefits of letting her set the pace
Thank you

[MonaLisaOverdrive]

Great outcome.
The benefits of letting her set the pace
Thank you

Thank you.

L is looking forward to going back.

So far, there are very few men there that L finds attractive. She is a very picky girl, so it may be some time before the right one comes along but I believe that if we keep going and put some effort into meeting people she will find someone.

I'm hopeful the next steps forward will involve her getting comfortable being naked and fucking around strangers, I think she does like it but is also naturally shy. She has had some massive public orgasms, but she has still been shy about people seeing her. I'd love for her to enjoy men watching her and being able to play into that.

I'd be keen to hear if anyone has any ideas about things we could try on our next night out.

[MonaLisaOverdrive]

L is back in Vietnam with her parents for a little while, she will be back in a couple of weeks.
On the way back she will be passing by Victorias Secret in Singapore. I'm going to tell her to be brave and buy the sluttiest lingerie she can find I will tell her she is not buying for herself but for 'Emily' which is her swinging moniker.

I've been thinking about our next visit and I'm going to suggest that we focus on breaking down her shyness barriers. Usually she wears a robe and remains quite covered but she was entranced by the confidence of the girls walking around naked. Hence her idea to buy the lingerie. So I am going to suggest three challenges for the next adventure.

In order from easy to difficult.
1. Walking around in her new attire without the robe.
2. Riding me in the main play area while it's full of people getting busy.
3. Openly masturbating letting everyone get a full view while we watch the action. Essentially an open invitation for anyone brave enough to step up and ask to fuck her.

What do you think of these challenges?

I am going to suggest she try to step into the character of the naughty slut 'Emily', rather than just use it as a name to protect our identities. I'm also planning to suggest that she doesn't wear the lingerie for me, the first time I see it should be in the club. Then it's not L wearing it but 'Emily'. This might also help reinforce the character a little bit more.

Hopefully, this will help her take her next steps forward. She has done great so far, I'm curious to see her take her next steps forward.

[skoot1958]

Just ending my first trip for Vitamin what a lovely country, I think you have a solid plan, the part about keeping lingerie for Emily use is really good, should be a turn on for L

The rest of the plan sounds good, maybe a public show first to get L going then back to the bar all hit and turned on


Allowing L to get in to the role is a great step forward

[MonaLisaOverdrive]

Just ending my first trip for Vitamin what a lovely country, I think you have a solid plan, the part about keeping lingerie for Emily use is really good, should be a turn on for L

The rest of the plan sounds good, maybe a public show first to get L going then back to the bar all hit and turned on


Allowing L to get in to the role is a great step forward

Thank you. It really helps to have someone to bounce ideas off of.

Using the role of Emily as a character is an idea that I had only in the past couple of days, I think it could really help L.
I'm hopeful that playing the character of Emily is the separation she needs in her mind to let herself go, I can see the desire to let go under the surface and it's obvious when she talks about wanting to be a slut. Her fascination with the confidence of people walking around naked is evidence of that desire I believe.

Vietnamese women are fiercely loyal and honestly are some of the best women in the world. I understand her (and her culture) a lot more than I did when I began this thread. She has a genuine interest in new sexual experiences but the weight of her culture is something for her to overcome at her own pace and to the degree that she is comfortable with. I am there to support her along the way and be her rock when she needs one.

In a lot of ways this journey has become about her need to assert her independence as a woman, something she has never had the opportunity to do in the past. And certainly not something she is taught to do by those closest to her culturally.

Seeing her grow exponentially fills me with so much pride as a husband.

[skoot1958]

MLO when following new couples on this journey, then the theme of “her journey” and “independence as a woman” come up all the time, maybe in different words, HW IMHO is not really about the thrill the man receives, it is the empowering of the woman in the relationship

You are making the correct steps, L is growing, the more time she spends in the company of other the more she will start to see the LS for what it is “fun”

By encouraging her to develop and not pushing her to hard you will get her there, it may be next time it maybe 10 visit from now

A key element is small steps, the new persona and the “risky” dressing are good small straps, maybe have her pick out a man’s or couple she would wants to play with, talk to them, flirt with them, but agree beforehand that nothing will happen, (makes it safe for L and a turn on) this way L is in charge of “hunting” or “picking up” so it is her desire, agree a secret code before you attend

Having L show off to others is a good step

And you need to plan on arriving later and staying later, so everyone is loosened up

[MonaLisaOverdrive]

MLO when following new couples on this journey, then the theme of “her journey” and “independence as a woman” come up all the time, maybe in different words, HW IMHO is not really about the thrill the man receives, it is the empowering of the woman in the relationship

You are making the correct steps, L is growing, the more time she spends in the company of other the more she will start to see the LS for what it is “fun”

By encouraging her to develop and not pushing her to hard you will get her there, it may be next time it maybe 10 visit from now

A key element is small steps, the new persona and the “risky” dressing are good small straps, maybe have her pick out a man’s or couple she would wants to play with, talk to them, flirt with them, but agree beforehand that nothing will happen, (makes it safe for L and a turn on) this way L is in charge of “hunting” or “picking up” so it is her desire, agree a secret code before you attend

Having L show off to others is a good step

And you need to plan on arriving later and staying later, so everyone is loosened up

Thank you for the kind words. You've given me some interesting lines of thought to pursue.

My approach has always been to let L lead the speed of this change in our relationship. Unlike many people on these forums, this isn't a fetish I've harboured for years. I came to terms with it during my accounting of our journey.

I definitely think your idea of 'hunting' is an idea we can incorporate once she is more comfortable with her sexual identity, but one L could have a lot of fun with. I'll keep that in the back of my mind for her next challenge when she is comfortable displaying her 'assets' to her adoring public, watching her confidently use them to her advantage will be fun indeed.

[MonaLisaOverdrive]

I mentioned the idea of L playing the character of Emily today. I said it may give her some space in her mind to separate her play from our daily lives a little bit. I also suggested she be brave and buy the lingerie that Emily would wear, not L. And that she not show it to me, but that the first time I see it should be when Emily is wearing it.

L really liked the idea. She will be on her way home soon and I'm interested to see what lingerie Emily chooses.

[MonaLisaOverdrive]

Well things have moved on quite a bit over the last 6 months. L has fully adopted the character of Emily for that side of our life now, she is pretty comfortable embracing it. I think it's no longer the case of IF but now WHEN she will begin to sleep with another guy.

It's just a case of finding the right guy.

Which leads me to my update. We're going overseas in the new year for a couple of weeks, we will be staying in a big city. So I've been tasked with finding a couple of men ahead of time for her to play with. We're looking for an experienced guy that can take control and lead both of us. I'm optimistic that we will find one. The city we're going to has quite a large ENM community and prospects are looking good.

Once I've got a good prospect we're going to group chat and get to know each other over the coming months, hopefully that will generate some sexual tension between them. L calls me her "Slut Dating Manager" now, I'm taking my role seriously

[skoot1958]

Sound really good, good L has taken the lead and told you to make arrangements shows she ready

[Long Lurker 34]

Well things have moved on quite a bit over the last 6 months. L has fully adopted the character of Emily for that side of our life now, she is pretty comfortable embracing it. I think it's no longer the case of IF but now WHEN she will begin to sleep with another guy.

It's just a case of finding the right guy.

Which leads me to my update. We're going overseas in the new year for a couple of weeks, we will be staying in a big city. So I've been tasked with finding a couple of men ahead of time for her to play with. We're looking for an experienced guy that can take control and lead both of us. I'm optimistic that we will find one. The city we're going to has quite a large ENM community and prospects are looking good.

Once I've got a good prospect we're going to group chat and get to know each other over the coming months, hopefully that will generate some sexual tension between them. L calls me her "Slut Dating Manager" now, I'm taking my role seriously

MLO
- So when L is in that mode do you call her Emily and when she is looking for a guy will she tell him she is Emily?

[MonaLisaOverdrive]

Well things have moved on quite a bit over the last 6 months. L has fully adopted the character of Emily for that side of our life now, she is pretty comfortable embracing it. I think it's no longer the case of IF but now WHEN she will begin to sleep with another guy.

It's just a case of finding the right guy.

Which leads me to my update. We're going overseas in the new year for a couple of weeks, we will be staying in a big city. So I've been tasked with finding a couple of men ahead of time for her to play with. We're looking for an experienced guy that can take control and lead both of us. I'm optimistic that we will find one. The city we're going to has quite a large ENM community and prospects are looking good.

Once I've got a good prospect we're going to group chat and get to know each other over the coming months, hopefully that will generate some sexual tension between them. L calls me her "Slut Dating Manager" now, I'm taking my role seriously

MLO
- So when L is in that mode do you call her Emily and when she is looking for a guy will she tell him she is Emily?

Yes, I call her Emily. She will introduce herself as Emily.

It provides her a level of mental separation and anonymity that makes her feel a lot more comfortable.

[MonaLisaOverdrive]

Looks like we have found a potential guy.

He is a little bit older than us and seems very experienced in the ENM and BDM community, has been with new couples a few times and is used to the dynamic. I've verified him on an online social ENM site and he has a lot of fantastic recommendations from couples he has played with in the past. We've been talking to him casually now in a group chat and it seems like L is starting to loosen up a little bit.

It's not overtly sexual at the moment. We're all just getting to know each other a little bit right now but it looks positive. L even mentioned to me that she was feeling a little horny talking to him

Let's see where it goes, we won't be meeting up until next year so there is plenty of time to slowly increase the tension, or he could fuck it all up. Who knows?

I will say though, I'm not engaging too much. I'm doing my best to let them drive the conversation. It is strange watching a man flirt with your innocent wife, knowing he intends to fuck her senseless. And watching her encourage his advances.