Dinner

[sandy691196]

Not sure yet. Im still seeing both of them while I work it out.

My take is - Don't rush into breaking off with your real BF..
This new guy is NEW and hence the NRE and blood rush.
Cheating gets you off. If you break up with your real BF and make the new guy your steady relationship.. then there will be no "cheating" involved.. You may get bored and then look for another diversion.
The "side deal" with its adventure thing appears to turn you on.
You need to give this thing a lot more time to figure things out.
Be careful of not getting "caught" in the meantime.
Don't let the situation force your hand.
And you may wanna consider graduating into pussy play soon. A proper orgasm with a guy helps clarify the chemistry.
You need to work on your sexual values too. Sex is fun. Over thinking stuff makes it complicated and dirty.
If it feels good - do it. Just work out the other things around it so that you don't lose control of your life.
And good sex and love are not necessarily the same thing.

Ya, I took the weekend off from both of them. Except for some occasional txts.
Too emotionally intense.

You are right about the side deal. Its really exciting. Makes me feel really sexy.

I do play with myself to orgasm when I'm with them. Its just I don't let them touch our see my vagina. Same goes with them, I don't touch them. The new guy gets to jerk off in a condom- he had one with him one day when he asked for sex that night, so its become a normal thing for him to wear one now. My boyfriend gets to jerk off normally, but I stop him from finishing sometimes. But I get off myself when I want to.

At this stage, I'm not really interested in braking up with my boyfriend. Its just I feel more attracted to my new boyfriend at the moment. Like you said, it may change in time. I'm not sure I can handle any more guys at this stage. This already feels very exhausting keeping it all a secret.

Namitha.. if you permit me to give you some "advice" and perspective?
From your name it appears that you are of South Indian. origin. Do you still live in some city in the south?
I have observed in your posts that you are very concerned about "reputation" and appearances. I have worked in Banglalore and Chennai and played a lot with local ladies - mostly married.. I have joined couples and sex parties too.
Your reticence with genital play, I am attributing to social conditioning on "sexual values" and "genital chastity".. Notions of "what will the guy(s) think of me if I appear to be easy"!
"Will the word go around that i am easy!"

My experience with southern ladies tells me that sex is rampant. People are really playing hard BUT keeping it under wraps. It's about appearances.

In your case, your original steady BF is unlikely to talk behind your back since it's a "serious" love relationship and she sees you as her steady gf, in love with you.
The new fling won't talk behind your back since he knows you have a steady bf and he can be in a mess if your BF finds out.

So you can get into pussy play (and dick work) fairly safely with both of them. Just make sure that you have a serious talk with the new guy explaining to him this is a classical "cheating" situation. Still you two couldn't help yourself because of the physical chemistry and because of your special friendship bonding... blah blah blah. Make it kinda his responsibility too! He seduced - so he had better take good care that you don't get into trouble with your BF!

Namitha, all the complications of a "cheating" dynamic are only worth it if you get mega kicks.. big time pleasure, as a compensation! Only THAT would make up for all the hassles you are going through.

And do remember to have regular sessions with your original BF..Don't neglect that relationship. It will help you dilute your "guilt" if you know you are showing the guy a good time too.
Temporary lessening of attraction or enchantment with a steady lover is normal when one has a new fling..It doesn't mean that the old relationship is over or the new guy is the ultimate prince charming!

Clear your mind and have a jolly good time with both the guys while things last and opportunities are there..You never know about tomorrow. You are young only once and the future often brings unforeseen trouble.. So live in the moment- don't overthink things- plan and execute your plans sensible..You are on to a good thing..Many girls would feel lucky to be in your situation. Have fun!
Amen!
(and I am sorry if I have given you unsolicited gyan.)

[Whenwillshe]

Correction below

[Whenwillshe]

Damn auto correct

[Whenwillshe]

I hope he asks me again.
My boyfriend knows I went out for dinner. He just doest know how I was thinking about it. I will see him again tonight.
Its ok for me to be so rough with his penis right? Like it wont break or anything?

You can actually cause rupture of the spongy muscle that engorges to cause a penis to become erect.
It is referred to as a fractured penis even though it isn't a bone.
It is actually a medical emergency if it occurs, so yes, you can break it

[namitha157]

Not sure yet. Im still seeing both of them while I work it out.

My take is - Don't rush into breaking off with your real BF..
This new guy is NEW and hence the NRE and blood rush.
Cheating gets you off. If you break up with your real BF and make the new guy your steady relationship.. then there will be no "cheating" involved.. You may get bored and then look for another diversion.
The "side deal" with its adventure thing appears to turn you on.
You need to give this thing a lot more time to figure things out.
Be careful of not getting "caught" in the meantime.
Don't let the situation force your hand.
And you may wanna consider graduating into pussy play soon. A proper orgasm with a guy helps clarify the chemistry.
You need to work on your sexual values too. Sex is fun. Over thinking stuff makes it complicated and dirty.
If it feels good - do it. Just work out the other things around it so that you don't lose control of your life.
And good sex and love are not necessarily the same thing.

Ya, I took the weekend off from both of them. Except for some occasional txts.
Too emotionally intense.

You are right about the side deal. Its really exciting. Makes me feel really sexy.

I do play with myself to orgasm when I'm with them. Its just I don't let them touch our see my vagina. Same goes with them, I don't touch them. The new guy gets to jerk off in a condom- he had one with him one day when he asked for sex that night, so its become a normal thing for him to wear one now. My boyfriend gets to jerk off normally, but I stop him from finishing sometimes. But I get off myself when I want to.

At this stage, I'm not really interested in braking up with my boyfriend. Its just I feel more attracted to my new boyfriend at the moment. Like you said, it may change in time. I'm not sure I can handle any more guys at this stage. This already feels very exhausting keeping it all a secret.

Namitha.. if you permit me to give you some "advice" and perspective?
From your name it appears that you are of South Indian. origin. Do you still live in some city in the south?
I have observed in your posts that you are very concerned about "reputation" and appearances. I have worked in Banglalore and Chennai and played a lot with local ladies - mostly married.. I have joined couples and sex parties too.
Your reticence with genital play, I am attributing to social conditioning on "sexual values" and "genital chastity".. Notions of "what will the guy(s) think of me if I appear to be easy"!
"Will the word go around that i am easy!"

My experience with southern ladies tells me that sex is rampant. People are really playing hard BUT keeping it under wraps. It's about appearances.

In your case, your original steady BF is unlikely to talk behind your back since it's a "serious" love relationship and she sees you as her steady gf, in love with you.
The new fling won't talk behind your back since he knows you have a steady bf and he can be in a mess if your BF finds out.

So you can get into pussy play (and dick work) fairly safely with both of them. Just make sure that you have a serious talk with the new guy explaining to him this is a classical "cheating" situation. Still you two couldn't help yourself because of the physical chemistry and because of your special friendship bonding... blah blah blah. Make it kinda his responsibility too! He seduced - so he had better take good care that you don't get into trouble with your BF!

Namitha, all the complications of a "cheating" dynamic are only worth it if you get mega kicks.. big time pleasure, as a compensation! Only THAT would make up for all the hassles you are going through.

And do remember to have regular sessions with your original BF..Don't neglect that relationship. It will help you dilute your "guilt" if you know you are showing the guy a good time too.
Temporary lessening of attraction or enchantment with a steady lover is normal when one has a new fling..It doesn't mean that the old relationship is over or the new guy is the ultimate prince charming!

Clear your mind and have a jolly good time with both the guys while things last and opportunities are there..You never know about tomorrow. You are young only once and the future often brings unforeseen trouble.. So live in the moment- don't overthink things- plan and execute your plans sensible..You are on to a good thing..Many girls would feel lucky to be in your situation. Have fun!
Amen!
(and I am sorry if I have given you unsolicited gyan.)

I am south Indian origin. But living in Melbourne.
You are right about the conservative values.

Its still a thing keeping your virginity and reputation. Things do go wrong in relationships sometimes and I don't want that stain from the past.

I am avoiding anything vaginal for the reasons above. It is also a thing about allowing a guy to access me.
Most of my girlfriends here and in India are similar.
I am a bit more conservative than most of them.
Most of them are into oral at least. I feel its degrading sucking a penis. I am open to anal some time like some of my friends are- but I am not sure I am ready yet with these guys I am currently with.

I had told the new bf that I have a bf before before our first date. He never asks about him, and I never mentioned him again. So I'm not sure if that means anything more.

I really am enjoying the thrill of this. Been out twice to clubs by myself where I got to dance and grind up with a random guy. One of them kissed up my neck while grinding me against the wall.
Its really exciting to feel so desired.

[sandy691196]

Ok you don't want intercourse as per your personal value system. No one can argue with someone's personal values.
You don't wanna suck on a penis either. Fair enough.
But how about getting your vulva (vagina, clit and the lips) sucked? Believe me.. it beats any other pleasure on earth! Once you taste it - you will be hooked for life.
You can see it as getting a guy to do a chore (further proof of your desirability) rather than "giving him access to you"..
Think it over. And in my experience friends always don't square up with each other. Sometimes they say what the majority want to hear ( the reputation thing).

It's good that the new guy knows about your original BF.. it helps you with keeping him in check, if needed.
Club and bar pick ups can be over the top thrilling! Advantage with strangers is that since they don't know you or your social circle, "reputation" is much easier to protect! And there is no image to live up to.

[namitha157]

I mentioned my bf to him a fee days ago after our date and never heard from him since.

Been feeling a bit down.

[sandy691196]

What happened in that date? We didn't get to hear the interesting part Namitha! Please!

Now that you have learned the thrill of a side piece, you don't need to feel beholden to this one, rather complex guy.

You already know the club scene. The beauty of picking up a "strange"! A guy who doesn't know your social circle, a guy without baggage!
Saturday coming!