Dating someone new

[AHDog]

When I signed up here I recently started dating somebody new. She was recently divorced and enjoyed the NSA nature of our relationship. We've gotten more serious though and during a chat about "what are we" I let her know I was still active with others. She was a little upset but she was curious about my relationships with my ex and the couple that I see occasionally. After I mentioned that I enjoy having my freedom and I enjoy it when women have their own, she revealed that she had been caught cheating on her husband which was why she was now divorced.

I said I didn't see any problem with her sleeping around, so long as she didn't neglect me and I still felt like we had something special. And she got real contemplative about that lol. We've talked about becoming an official item to our friend groups but haven't settled that conversation about exclusivity. She said when she cheated, she still loved her husband, she just had a few weak moments and wanted a little more. I said well if you're with me you don't have to choose one or the other. She could tell me about it or not, her choice, and just come on home when you're ready.

She is gone for a long weekend and staying with a married friend of hers in another state. She texted me last night and asked if I was sure about what I said. I said of course and said she could even tell me about it if she wants. She said "OK just checking!" and then went radio silent until around noon today.

We still aren't officially an item so its not like society would expect her to be faithful right now anyways but I'm glad she's out enjoying herself!

[MartasBoy]

It sounds like a very flexible relationship, that allows both of you a lot of freedom. As long as it continues to feel comfortable for both of you.

[54321]

What a great start to a relationship.
When I met my wife, we were not exclusive for a couple of months. I had sex with four other people
and so did she.

When we got serious with each other we became exclusive as people usually do.
I was so happy that she wanted to be exclusive with me but just a bit disappointed too!

Since then, I have suggested she become a hotwife numerous times but she always says no.
We play with the fantasy occasionally but that's it.

It sounds like you guys are starting as you mean to go on. I'm interested to see how it develops.

Every good wish,

54321

[BT2]

We have been together for just over 40 years, still in love, thoroughly devoted to each other, and she has been a hotwife for all but one of those years and I was an fb for about 35 of the earlier years. We did not consider we had an open marriage - we saw others only three to five times a year. We consider that open honesty, informed prior consent, and sharing are necessary ingredients for it to work.

This is what works for us.

[AHDog]

Figured I could share what my gf* got up to the other night. She had some drinks with her friend and ended up telling her about me and the conversations we had, and her friend confided that she and her husband were in an open marriage. Her friend turned up the heat a little and they got busted making out when her husband walked in. She made the call to me shortly after that, because they invited her to go to bed with them both.

When she told me about it later she jokingly asked if everyone around her was a secret pervert!

*We decided to make it official but not exclusive, at least for now.

[AHDog]

I haven't had much opportunity to spend time with Rachel (the new gf) since her unexpected threesome with her friend and her friend's husband. She is a bit younger than me and still has youngsters to deal with. We did have some nice reconnection sex right after she got back. I think she just wanted to make sure I wasn't upset with her because she didn't even stay the night after, she just went home.

My ex-wife on the other hand has a new boyfriend and he has gotten her into all kinds of BDSM stuff that she was always interested in but I didn't know anything about. She apparently loves it, but she was apprehensive about some of the things he wants to do, so she asked me to basically attend some of their "scenes" because she trusts me to be able to stop things if she decides it is time to stop.

If your next thought is "why is she doing anything with someone that she doesn't fully trust" then I'm right there with you. But I can't do much to change the way she behaves, I've learned that much at least.

The first time was kind of an ice-breaker for me. I was basically invisible the whole time. I had to agree that unless she said her safe word, I wouldn't step in no matter what I thought about what was happening. After that her boyfriend completely ignored me. She has rules about what she calls her partner, she has rules about the way she speaks, she has rules about what to wear, and how to behave. Honestly being a dom sounds exhausting, I wouldn't want to remember any, much less all of that. But she and her boyfriend seemed to thrive on it.

I've since been to 3 more sessions and they've each been more...intense than what came before. I don't want to go into it but I came away shocked and impressed by what she could handle. I wasn't invited to participate at all though, so I've been pretty wound up waiting for Rachel to have a free weekend.

[zorro]

@AHDog: Maybe you are actually there to be humiliated.

[54321]

There's clearly an element of "I'll show you!" going on with your ex but she is clearly still interested in you or she wouldn't bother.
It all sounds like good clean fun.

54321