Her Plan to Dip Toe in Hotwife Water

[slenderfish]

I just read all this for the first time. Exciting journey. Your wife's photos are beautiful. Yours and a guy named Des are among the best written my wife and I have come across. Thank you for writing all that.

Thanks for the shout out to SW and also to me, etc.

Yes, Des has been kind of an inspiration for me to bash into this journey and to document it.

His HW my dream for SW.

[solstice]

Slenderfish writes: Des has been kind of an inspiration for me to bash into this journey and to document it.
It is a spectacular journey quite a bit different from others, quite idiosyncratic, and I mean that as a compliment, and I think that SW will be a hard lady to rein in, should you ever want to!
At the moment she seems excited to share the details with you, in the past was she a bit reluctant to reveal all? she is strong willed and I hope she will continue to keep you abreast of her adventures.

[coastalkid]

........... and lots to talk about. He did ask me a little bit about our situation, umm, so we'll have to talk about that. I did sort of maintain that it was an open marriage, which, though that's not the case but, umm, as far as umm, we know what it is, but umm that seems to be the most palatable to most people, I think, in general, umm. So, uh, yeah.

That's about it. I love you so much and I hope you had a good flight, and umm I will talk to you tomorrow.

Love you, bye.

Was she having trouble explaining your "situation" at home (ie all the umm's)? Why do you think her explanation of being in an open relationship was more acceptable than another explanation. Do you think when she used the term "palatable" it inferred that she still sees this lifestyle as objectionable even to herself to a degree.

[BallSpanking]

Thank you for the update.

It seems SW is now comfortable in her new role as a HW, how that translates to the home environment, time will tell, but I doubt she will want to leave it dormant until Spring 2021 ...

Mr M sounds like a petulant whiner, and a hypocrite. He counsels SW against HW'ing, how it can only lead to disaster, but he is plenty willing to fuck her. Next he wusses his way through the week self flagellating himself with guilt, and not responding to SW's texts ... WTF? Is he a retard? I think SW would do better keeping him as a friend (NOT a lover), and at arm's length.

Given the relative paucity of real candidates, other than Mr S, I would not be surprised if SW does develop an interest/curiosity about playing at home in a very discreet way. That would involve a whole new strategy and plan, and require candidates who can not only please a HW physically, but who know and respect her boundaries.

[slenderfish]

Was she having trouble explaining your "situation" at home (ie all the umm's)? Why do you think her explanation of being in an open relationship was more acceptable than another explanation. Do you think when she used the term "palatable" it inferred that she still sees this lifestyle as objectionable even to herself to a degree.

In August/September when SW decided to test the waters, she reached out to Mr. S as the first effort. It was all very new to her and, as I found out later, she did speak with her longtime friend Mr. M about the whole hotwife concept, and Mr. M screamed "disaster" to her. At that point I cautioned her that vanilla folks have no clue and should be expected to draw all manner of inaccurate conclusions, etc.

Therefore, she decided to let Mr. S think she merely has a "hall pass" when out of state. That was fine until he apparently unexpectedly pressed for more details this week. So she improvised and went with "open marriage" from what is in her voicemail.

I have pointed out to SW that the whole HW relationship with a man will go best if made clear at the outset. Of course this may scare some away, but at the same time it is self-screening. A man who understands he is there as an augmentation and side snack for the HW requires no sneaking around, no dancing with honesty, easier scheduling, and (for my sake) allows the HWH to be able to live his life and not feel like he is slinking in the background.

If SW gets the itch here at home, which I hope she does, I think I'll really try to encourage that we proceed with a clear picture for the potential man in advance.

So my answer is that this is newbie stuff for SW, learning as she goes along, and I'm refraining from interceding except when absolutely necessary (to let her drive it and control it) and at this point her actual experiences will presumably better inform how she may start any next one.

[slenderfish]

Slenderfish writes: Des has been kind of an inspiration for me to bash into this journey and to document it.
It is a spectacular journey quite a bit different from others, quite idiosyncratic, and I mean that as a compliment, and I think that SW will be a hard lady to rein in, should you ever want to!
At the moment she seems excited to share the details with you, in the past was she a bit reluctant to reveal all? she is strong willed and I hope she will continue to keep you abreast of her adventures.

Yes, she has apparently realized the benefit of sharing details and communicating as we go along. I also think it was her subconscious mistrust even in the face of my assurances that we are both better if she over-shares versus under-shares. She had to test it out and become more comfortable, and apparently that has morphed for the better. I expect we can build off this progress, because I still feel like the whole thing remains skewed more to her benefit and liking, at the expense of my benefit and liking. At the same point, this is a function of how she a) selected the man; b) presented to him her situation (e.g "hall pass" or "open marriage") which then has to be maintained.

It's a journey. I believe the biggest hurdles are now cleared; to wit: 1) She knows I'm not going to freak out or leave her or treat her poorly (even subconsciously); 2) She can have sex with another man and then go right back to her life without great fanfare (e.g. me, her family, her mother the next morning); 3) She has largely managed her self-image (concerns regarding self-slut-shaming); 4) She has realized to some degree her power as an attractive and sexual woman, and this power can be used to make requests of the man for certain behaviors such as treating her right (GFE/BFE) and also for encounters convenient to her desires and timing, etc.

[slenderfish]

She did go out with Mr. S last night as planned. They ended earlier than I'd expected, but it was a weeknight. Apparently when she called me around midnight, she had been alone for at least an hour and she did not leave a voicemail. Instead, she called again, and left a brief voicemail that she had hoped I would pick up, that we could have talked vs. a voicemail, but it was at this point very late and she is shutting down and going to sleep.

Of course, she overlooked that I'd promised not to pick up, assuming the voicemail was the plan. I'd have preferred she send me a text message that her call should be picked up instead, but as I noted, she is sometimes not particularly strategic and logical, especially when her emotions are running the show.

I expect to speak with her at some point today.

Yesterday we agreed that I would assist her in assembling the proper text to Mr. M to get him back in proper form, to stop being such a weenie, to lay the foundation for return to friendship or whatever. To break his juvenile silence.

[tunafish]

SF - I've enjoyed reading about you, your wife and her journey - I must admit you handle the variety of her experiences better than I did with my newly minted HW, L -
We've been married 40 years. I've been pretty much "possessed" with her having sex with others and told her of my fantasies soon after we were married - she did not take it well - not that she was outraged at me but it hit her in a way that made her feel she "wasn't enough." She said why am I not engirt - I did my best in explaining my fantasies and thought about it. Over time she began to understand me and how I am wired and eventually would engage me in fantasies of her own with men of her choosing -

Long story short ( we have a thread on the HW forum ( 40 years of fantasy can it be time?" )

She;s been a hot wife for about 4 months which has totally changed for the better our entire relationship - its been a whirlwind of excitement - sometimes I've struggled. In reading your thoughts you've handled it much better - yes much better than me - I have some bouts of jealousy not so much over the sex but the amount of time L has spent with him on the phone and texting - all pretty silly stuff but my emotions have gotten the best of me -

I just wanted to say I've enjoyed reading your story and wish you and your beautiful wife all good things on your journey -

Tuna

[tunafish]

definitely keep that message. Would just love to receive a message like that.
How are you going emotionally with this burst of sex by your wife having sex with what appears to be three different men in less than a week (including you), with the remote possibility of a fourth?

Sensitive of you to ask that.

I'm really a relaxed person and thus far (since August) have been doing quite well. I even surprised myself.

But I'll admit this "burst of sex" as you aptly put it, although certainly welcome by me, has caught me a bit off guard. It's fabulous and I couldn't be happier, from a logical perspective. At the same time, it's a lot to process and I've had to really take control of myself in order to keep from doing or saying something to SW that might backfire. As such, I've been extra encouraging and congratulatory to SW, which I believe has emboldened her, but I've had to use all of my self-awareness skills and techniques to keep from getting overly anxious and also to be able to focus on my normal life. Indeed, last night was the toughest night yet for sleep, but I was able to draw on my resources and ultimately was able to sleep more than enough of the night (but this including taking care of myself at midnight, at 3:00 a.m. and then again at 5:00 a.m.).

I call this a win-win-win result.

And SW has been a champ. She has listened to me and is more attentive to my perspective, compared to the past. I think the voicemail message solution has been a very good compromise for now, to give me something to latch onto.

BTW I now also have a voicemail from her, this morning, summarizing her tryst with Mr. S. I'll share it later.

Damn!

I admire your self control on the angst part - you;e done a much better job of "keeping your cool" than I -

[kaskap79]

When I play with a hotwife, I make sure that she and her husband knows that I see myself as their toy for them to have a better sex life.

For me and the hotwives it works very well.

[Cuckmycock]

I do not post on here much at all, but I just wanted to say how much I've been enjoying following this story and your wife's progression. She's an elegant beauty with an amazing body and it is endlessly erotic to imagine her increasingly eager participation in this scenario. I look forward to her continuing adventures.

[slenderfish]

Long story short ( we have a thread on the HW forum ( 40 years of fantasy can it be time?" )

I just wanted to say I've enjoyed reading your story and wish you and your beautiful wife all good things on your journey -

Tuna

Thanks for letting me know your thoughts. I was engaged in your thread in its beginning but must admit I need to catch up.

Been doing a lot of posting on this thread, and have fallen behind on more fully participating in OHW as a reader of other threads. I expect to go more back to that next week, after SW returns and we clear through the reclaim, and settle back into our routines.

[slenderfish]

When I play with a hotwife, I make sure that she and her husband knows that I see myself as their toy for them to have a better sex life.

For me and the hotwives it works very well.

We gotta find a Kaskap79 in our area.

[slenderfish]

I do not post on here much at all, but I just wanted to say how much I've been enjoying following this story and your wife's progression. She's an elegant beauty with an amazing body and it is endlessly erotic to imagine her increasingly eager participation in this scenario. I look forward to her continuing adventures.

Thanks for the shout-out. I was on this board for at least five years, anonymously lurking as it were, before posting anything. I was sorely tempted a few times. Looking back, I wish I had.

So I take it as a grand compliment.

Adds encouragement knowing there are many who read this but don't comment, and at the same time are taking our adventure and experiences into their knowledge bases. As did I.

I agree, it IS endlessly erotic. I've been "enjoying" it pretty much to the extent my refractory period permits.

[kaskap79]

When I play with a hotwife, I make sure that she and her husband knows that I see myself as their toy for them to have a better sex life.

For me and the hotwives it works very well.

We gotta find a Kaskap79 in our area.

You are always welcome to send her to Denmark and I will show her what we have to offer.

Viking43 has it the same way as me.

[slenderfish]

When I play with a hotwife, I make sure that she and her husband knows that I see myself as their toy for them to have a better sex life.

For me and the hotwives it works very well.

We gotta find a Kaskap79 in our area.

You are always welcome to send her to Denmark and I will show her what we have to offer.

Viking43 has it the same way as me.

Yes, I still have your prior offer and am keeping it in mind for when we do visit our Copenhagen friends.

[AstaSilva]

While this thread is enjoyable, OP is constantly complaining about "slut shaming" and "conditioning". As many others in this thread have said already, its pretty pretentious of OP to judge and label someone when he's not in their shoes. Not everything is slut shaming.

[slenderfish]

While this thread is enjoyable, OP is constantly complaining about "slut shaming" and "conditioning". As many others in this thread have said already, its pretty pretentious of OP to judge and label someone when he's not in their shoes. Not everything is slut shaming.

I'm the OP. These references are actually SW's own comments to me, from time to time, about how she feels. I'm adding them to provide context.

Perhaps I should use other language, because I do agree these are pretty loaded words.

It's really just SW moving from how she always used to view herself (until recently), to a new self image as a hotwife. It's quite a contrast, this new lifestyle and approach.

Her initial description was that it's "a total mindfuck" on herself.

[Tiftoncurious]

Sounds like you two have made leaps and bounds. This is my first reply but I have been hanging on your story from the start. I speak for myself and probably the rest of us When I say I hope you can find a way to post her voicemail. We would all love to hear her own words in the moment.

[slenderfish]

Sounds like you two have made leaps and bounds. This is my first reply but I have been hanging on your story from the start. I speak for myself and probably the rest of us When I say I hope you can find a way to post her voicemail. We would all love to hear her own words in the moment.

Thanks for following.

Working on the voicemail effort as I have time, here and there. It's possible to post media (.gifs and .mp4s) anonymously in a couple of places, but these are limited to 60 seconds. The vm's are each just over 2 min. I figure if necessary I can make up a video clip with the vm audio and then post it in pieces, say three at 45 seconds. But still hoping to find a way to merely post the audio in its entirety, for full effect and enjoyment.

[afagehi7]

Sounds like you two have made leaps and bounds. This is my first reply but I have been hanging on your story from the start. I speak for myself and probably the rest of us When I say I hope you can find a way to post her voicemail. We would all love to hear her own words in the moment.

Thanks for following.

Working on the voicemail effort as I have time, here and there. It's possible to post media (.gifs and .mp4s) anonymously in a couple of places, but these are limited to 60 seconds. The vm's are each just over 2 min. I figure if necessary I can make up a video clip with the vm audio and then post it in pieces, say three at 45 seconds. But still hoping to find a way to merely post the audio in its entirety, for full effect and enjoyment.

Erome is limited to 60 seconds?

[slenderfish]

Sounds like you two have made leaps and bounds. This is my first reply but I have been hanging on your story from the start. I speak for myself and probably the rest of us When I say I hope you can find a way to post her voicemail. We would all love to hear her own words in the moment.

Thanks for following.

Working on the voicemail effort as I have time, here and there. It's possible to post media (.gifs and .mp4s) anonymously in a couple of places, but these are limited to 60 seconds. The vm's are each just over 2 min. I figure if necessary I can make up a video clip with the vm audio and then post it in pieces, say three at 45 seconds. But still hoping to find a way to merely post the audio in its entirety, for full effect and enjoyment.

Erome is limited to 60 seconds?

Erome is a good pic and video solution and may be where I land on this, if I end up making an .mp4 as a fallback.

Still preferring audio-only solution at this point.

[Parsifal]

Your story has been fun to follow. I would like to see more sex description other than (she's a hotwife and they fucked) pretty boring.

Agree it's a fun story. But I'm the opposite about needing graphic descriptions of the sex acts to interest me. I much more enjoy the relationship dynamics and the analytic manner in which they're presented. Yes, do keep it coming.

[slenderfish]

I'm with you. Let's be clear; I've communicated this to SW that if I'm not there in person, I do like to know the details so that I can form my own personal mental video.

It was a big step for her to leave any voicemail. She promised the down and dirty details in person. She arrives home tonight.

You'll see in my posts here on this string that i'm generous with these details once I have them. So you apparently are waiting just as I am waiting.

In some ways the anticipation is its own reward, as long as I know the climax is out there, almost within reach. Kind of like the old days browsing porn magazines or porn VHS tapes; the browsing is its own reward with the anticipation and possibilities. Because once you select the title and then watch it, it's over.

[slenderfish]

Agree it's a fun story. But I'm the opposite about needing graphic descriptions of the sex acts to interest me. I much more enjoy the relationship dynamics and the analytic manner in which they're presented. Yes, do keep it coming.

Yes, this is the deeper stuff.

But I do like the vision in my mind of the porn element, to make up for what I was not able to be there to see with my own eyes.

I'm very interested in what SW has to say about her connection with Mr. S after the couple of days in a row, etc. I am anticipating the beginnings of some kind of ongoing thing, that may have to be nurtured in some manner between now and when she again travels to her hometown in May. Will Mr. S become more of a boyfriend in this time? Will he revert back to his lack of communication? Has SW alternatively adjusted her mind and expectations to it being a pure FWB situation that just goes dormant until the next time? Much to find out. Perhaps she doesn't even know yet, or (even more likely) she has a concept but will it stick?

Will she even fully share her concept with me, or will she be gun-shy and undersell it out of concern I won't like it or that she can't properly present it and won't take a risk of getting it wrong?