Wonderful Life With My Gorgeous Hotwife (revisited)

[Asterix42]

Great to see you return with such an engaging chapter, John. A lot of content. Going to have to read it two or three times, there’s so much in it!

[Johng1953]

So glad you're back and what a great update. Helps to alleviate a lot of my misgivings that I have felt the need to air here probably too much!
One thing has occurred to me though and it's about Geoff. I despise him, always will, but I think much of his misunderstanding of what he had with Sherrie could be partly yours and her fault in that he never knew she was with him with your full knowledge and support. Of course in his superior arrogance, he never bothered to find out what her life actually was away from him so it was too at least as much his own fault. But no wonder he thought she was living a lie away from him.

[Trickydicky69]

Absolutely with you on that Johng1953!
Which is why I feel compelled to give Geoff a little leeway.
But I don’t feel sorry for him - as John says, he got the hottest sub way above his pay grade so should count himself very lucky.
And it’s not over yet.
It would be strange though, even with his arrogance, not to have enquired a little about her more mundane life, especially if he was hoping to get her to move in? Some knowledge of the practical difficulties causing her to resist the temptation, might have been sensible?
Probably fortunate for John however, if Geoff had been better prepared to persuade Sherrie. It wasn’t like she dismissed it out of hand- she seriously thought about it. Even if briefly during the cottage time.
All of them have played a role and none of them entirely honestly so it’s not surprising it’s ended with tears.

But is it going to end with a big bang or fizzle out like a damp squib?

[Johng1953]

Absolutely with you on that Johng1953!
Which is why I feel compelled to give Geoff a little leeway.
But I don’t feel sorry for him - as John says, he got the hottest sub way above his pay grade so should count himself very lucky.
And it’s not over yet.
It would be strange though, even with his arrogance, not to have enquired a little about her more mundane life, especially if he was hoping to get her to move in? Some knowledge of the practical difficulties causing her to resist the temptation, might have been sensible?
Probably fortunate for John however, if Geoff had been better prepared to persuade Sherrie. It wasn’t like she dismissed it out of hand- she seriously thought about it. Even if briefly during the cottage time.
All of them have played a role and none of them entirely honestly so it’s not surprising it’s ended with tears.

But is it going to end with a big bang or fizzle out like a damp squib?

I actually think Geoff must have realised by the time of the blow up at least, but probably saw John's complicity with it as something weak and not the strength it really was.

[Trickydicky69]

Yeah, you’re probably right about that Johng, I can’t believe he actually thought John was ignorant of the goings on but thought it irrelevant to his mastery and massive cock.
And if he did think John knew, it just fed his ego.
I still think it might have been better to be more straight about it with him.

[john jasson]

After necessarily being away for some time, I am trying to get on with the backlog of comments. Unfortunately, some of these are now weeks old, but there are other priorities to work around right now, I'm afraid. Apologies to all.

Gotta say; at this point in the story, John's life with his wife doesn't sound like it was all that "Wonderful".

Well this situation is in its 3rd week after all our great years together, so it is what it is.

[john jasson]

.
So basically John, her husband and forever soul-mate, waits 25 days before he is able to get 15 quality minutes with Sherrie to discuss the future direction their marriage and lives will now take.

Put like that, it doesn’t sound like much of a marriage as far as respect goes.

You have read this, have you?

Should have clarified that my comment solely related to those 25 days. Reading about them, it did seem that a low point had been reached. I’m just impressed John, that you and Sherrie were strong enough to come back from it!

Fair enough!

Any resentment I felt was certainly tempered by the evident torment that Sherrie was going through as a result of something we cooked up together. I just wanted her better.

[john jasson]

You are applying your own boundaries, likes, dislikes, to others.

Guilty as charged. But that's probably also a testament to your story telling ability in that I feel emotionally involved, not just coldly reading a narrative.

OK, I take the point.

[john jasson]

Yes, I think us regular readers are quite invested in this story, for our own personal reasons. I am anyway.
I’d also echo Asterix that many of my comments are really about the bad few weeks described recently.
I can see that leading up to that, the arrangement seemed to work.
I still contend that John wasn’t 100% happy however with everything which I think seeps out of the story a bit but then, who is happy 100% of the time? Or maybe it’s just my interpretation?
And tbf, we knew in advance that there were going to be problems and that they survived it.
I still don’t understand how one testy remark by John could possibly have set off this train of events if everything was so rosy in the garden? Was it last straw breaking the camels back? But despite Sherries explanation, how did it jump from all fine for you two, to become a complete meltdown, in just one sentence? Why couldn’t it have been talked out over a few days since you are such an understanding partnership?
Seriously, have I missed something or will it be explained more thoroughly later, for those of us who are hard of understanding?
Or how they could both be complacent/blinkered that Geoff had his own ideas about having Sherrie?
Of course, if either of those things hadn’t happened, we wouldn’t be reading this.
If Geoff never knew John was aware, then actually, it sort of gives Geoff a bit of a get out clause.
He must have thought their marriage must be on the rocks for Sherrie to be able to spend so much time with him. So it was fair game to try to get Sherrie to move in with him.
I don’t believe it though! I still think Geoff is an unethical git!
Shame that John tells us that Geoff was never told about their arrangement- it would be interesting to know his views.
I also get the need to support people who are distressed but you have the patience of Solomon when she’s rejecting you (as in rushing back to Geoff but also because she now sees you as someone she no longer trusts or requires support from).
Arrgh, I have so many questions but must shut myself up again!

As we’ve established, despite the time it’s taking to relate this crisis, it’s 2/3 weeks out of 13/14 years. Prior to this we have what we see as a perfect relationship in all respects. What trials we have are to do with the business and the difficult financial situation around it. I don’t think it would achieve anything to go over the blow up yet again, but genuinely, neither of us saw it coming. As reported, she was tired, emotional, I upset her and then he dumped her. I suppose there were stresses in the offing if such a train of events were to take place, but no, we certainly didn’t anticipate it, which made it all the more shocking and tough to deal with. I always happily supposed that even if Geoff wanted Sherrie full time, which we thought unlikely as she was giving him everything of herself in a sexual sense and far beyond, she would laugh off the suggestion anyway. Which of course she pretty much did, and that prompted him to dump her. The aftermath of that was cataclysmic for both of us. Unexpectedly so. Again, I never really felt rejection, or at least I didn’t feel it for long enough that it would take firm root and fester. The most I can concede is that if I felt rejection in any small way, I didn’t blame her for it. Whatever she said or did, I saw as the product of the awful state she was in. The difference between her normal steady self and her distraught condition at this point engendered no temptation for second guessing. It was very soon obvious to me that she was neither thinking straight nor fully in command of her actions, and that became the major worry and the challenge to address.

[john jasson]

I’m thinking we might as well get all the dirty linen aired here and now.

J: So before you agreed it couldn’t be a 24/7 relationship, did you discuss leaving me and going to live with him? We might as well have the whole story.

S: Yes, briefly. I’d agreed to an open discussion with nothing ruled in or out, so of course he brought it up again, and we both knew that’s what he ideally wanted. And he wanted me submitted to him full time. Same sort of BDSM relationship but 24/7. Made the case again that living absolutely submitted to him in every way as his little woman and devoted submissive is the real me fighting to get out. I mean how does that even work? He spoke about the Wednesday night I got back after you’d crushed the joy out of my achievements, and I went to him all emotional. How he put me back together in my submission to him. And that’s the truth. He did.

J: Tell me about that Wednesday with him, Sher. The night you went running to him. I need to know.

S: You mean went running to him after you broke me into tiny pieces?

J: If you like.

The permafrost resurfaces for a moment.

S: No! I don’t like. Not at all. That’s exactly what you did, and I didn’t fucking like!

Her eyes mist over, as she simmers down again:

S: He really took me in hand that night. Despite all the travelling fatigue I arrived home with, he brought me alive, and then made me forget all about you by mastering me, I think, more then he’d ever done before. In my mood as I arrived at his, I was very receptive for my mind to be distracted from you. He took me away from you and the hurt and put me into my surrendered world with him. So thoroughly.

J: What does that mean?

S: He didn’t go easy on me if that’s what you’re thinking. The ritual enema cleansing and possession, and then he made me lie back on the vaulting horse and raise my legs and part them. He put a wide butt plug in me, blindfolded me, and ball-gagged me. I knew he was there at the foot of the horse, standing over me, and he was kind of rummaging between my lips down there for at least a couple of minutes, making sure I know he owns my body and can do anything he pleases. Pulling the outer lips, stretching them wide apart, pinching the flesh, wiping between them like I'm dirty, theatrically doing stuff that nobody else can do, and doing it to humiliate me, making me suck it all up.

G(to S): Hold your breath for a moment for me.

S(to me): By now I knew what was coming. I bit my lip in anticipation. The sharp sting, like a needle, then the weird burning sensation around my pee hole as he pushes the tube into me. He was fumbling around sticking it to my thigh. Then he walked around, took the blindfold off and sat me up. I looked down and there’s the tube coming out of me, taped to my leg and feeding into a bag with my pee already running into it. He’s catheterised me again, and I can’t comment because of the ball gag. So I’m just grunting and drooling. Leaking at both ends. When he does this to me, I feel my free will cease to exist, and I’m floating on air, weightless yet again. Your one sentence dismissal of me on the phone was way out of my mind by then, I can tell you. I was his toy. I wanted to be his toy.

She says she was surprised he went to such extremes that night, and I’m shocked at his bizarre method of comforting her.

G(to S): I know you think you’ve come for sympathy, but total submission is always the best medicine for you, girl. I’ll never spare you under any circumstances. You need it, and you’ll always get it from me. You need to let go of that superficial world you have out there completely and put yourself fully into my hands. Always.

S(to me): It worked too. I was soon deep in my sub space and nothing else mattered at all. Naturally I thought he was talking to me just in the moment as usual, but thinking about it while I was down south, I think now that he was preparing the ground for wanting me to go and live with him, and the bombshell he dropped the next night.

John- re reading the last segment and especially the cliffhanger that we left off at, a few questions come to mind.

You asked Sherrie if she and Geoff had discussed her leaving you and going to live with him 24/7. Her answer was "Yes" this option was "on the table" and was discussed further. Was your concern that Sherrie would choose to go and live with Geoff as his full time submissive for a specified (or perhaps even unspecified) period of time until she had explored/satisfied this part of herself; at which time she would then likely return to you; or was your concern that she would choose to leave her marriage to you permanently and eventually become Geoff's wife.
If the plan she had negotiated with Geoff at this point did include her moving in with him for a specified period of time to explore/satisfy her dark desires, can you comment on your thoughts, feelings, tolerances to this choice, if this was indeed to become your reality. I guess what I am asking is were you prepared for this and would you have accepted this arrangement if you knew that she would return to you and the marriage at some point in the future.

Can you share your feelings at the fact that Sherrie even considered leaving you for Geoff and that this was one possibility that was included when she answered your question "S: Yes, briefly. I’d agreed to an open discussion with nothing ruled in or out, so of course he brought it up again, and we both knew that’s what he ideally wanted."

During her time at the cottage clearly Sherrie has thought out/devised some sort of plan to convince Geoff to "take her back" so they can continue their relationship. She has refused to share any of her thoughts, feelings or plans from her time away with you, choosing instead to share/discuss these details with Geoff first. Obviously she is successful in negotiating some type of plan with Geoff where their relationship can continue going forward without actually having to move in with him or to leave her marriage with you.

She's now back home with you on the Friday evening after work, and will now presumably share details of her discussion/negotiations with Geoff. Obviously whatever deal she has made with Geoff will have to be beneficial to him and will most likely contain some (or perhaps many) concessions on her part. Whatever these concessions might be...none of them have been discussed with you previously despite the fact that you will likely be affected by them in some way in the near future either directly or indirectly.

How do you feel about being "left out of the loop" on Sherrie's/Geoff's discussions/negotiations despite the fact that there will likely be some ramifications for you as a result?? Do you think what Sherrie has done here (secret negotiations with Geoff without any input/agreement from you) is fair to you?? What are your overall feelings about where things are at in these regards at this point in the story.

As for her leaving me to go to him, I hadn’t thought deeply about it. I suppose I feared it, naturally, during my darker moments, but I honestly didn’t see it working out for them, because of the people they are. There’s a red hot sexual and sub/dom chemistry between them, obviously, and she appreciates his dominance of her extending into her fitness training that works very well in enhancing her sporting performance, but that’s it really. Outside of that they are chalk and cheese, whereas the two of us are fundamentally hand in glove, minds as one, and have been from the moment we met. So I couldn’t honestly see her and him superseding her and me, if you follow. Not in any way. What I would accept contrary to my ideal view, I suppose I should leave for future exploration as we get further into the discussions between the two of us. What I would do “if I knew this or that” would be hypothetical anyway, because although I might think I know something, I could turn out to be wrong!! Your last two paragraphs are getting into areas that are covered in the next bit posted recently, I think.

[john jasson]

John doesn’t see it like that KK. He has an iron clad belief that their relationship was never in danger from Geoff and events have proven him right, so who are we to argue?
You and I can see this danger and perhaps now John may agree that for another couple (not him and Sherrie though) then it could be a marriage breaker. I admire his belief (less obvious that Sherrie believes it too - only judging her from what he’s written about her not trusting anyone anymore) which has carried them through these events.
I’m just hoping that by the conclusion, our questions will be answered and clear how these events seem to so abruptly occur, as if from a sunny blue sky. I don’t think what Sherrie tells him when she returns but before seeing Geoff again, is an explanation. As an explanation of suddenly leaving, renting a cottage for 6 months and starting a new life, it’s a bit weak!
It’s what she’s intellectually stating but I really don’t think John/Sherrie have yet told us the truth.
She hasn’t for instance, explained what it is that Geoff has been telling her, what “opened her eyes about John” etc.
So although I/we are exasperating John, I do feel that’s because he hasn’t yet told us what he really knows but perhaps has forgotten that he hasn’t yet told us- he is presuming that we have some knowledge which actually we’re still unaware of.
Presumably to come…

I don’t believe so. I put much of the more venomous stuff that came out of her (not trusting anyone, opened her eyes, and the like) down to the traumatised state of her mind through this period. I could see how she was suffering and she was lashing out. I didn’t anticipate it, but that doesn’t mean I couldn’t sympathise. I love her, and she was hurting, so I absolutely did sympathise. Again, hopefully more comprehension from the latest part posted?

[john jasson]

I rarely post but it does seem like John appreciates some comments and speculative insights from the many many people who are following this thread. And in appreciation for one of the most well written and gripping threads in years I feel obligated to jot down a few comments of my own.

To me it seems the core conflict, the one that nearly blew up their marriage, is around Sherrie’s true identity.

We can see there are some things that are well integrated and true regardless of the situation. She is brave, open to new experiences and challenges, and can display tremendous determination and grit when it comes to diving into those experiences. But there are some things about her that depend on where she is and who she is around.

- Is she really a brilliant researcher, an engaging speaker, and the KEY player in the struggle to develop a new business whom multiple people are relying on for their livelihood?

- Or is she really a sexual submissive, who feels most comfortable and at peace serving her master and experiencing hours of ecstasy through pain, humiliation, and intense sexual pleasure?

In my opinion this conflict has been growing stronger the more time she spent with Geoff and the less satisfying and more stressful the science and business environment becomes. She does get some of her love and companionship needs met by John. But she is also getting some of those met by Geoff, partly through helping her shut down her thinking brain with powerful sexual and submissive experiences that wash away the grindy money and leadership stresses she carries in her other life. And partly through the aftercare Geoff provides after he gives her what she asks him for.

I should also note if this is the core conflict then there really are no villains in this story.

Sherrie is just trying to sort out who she really is. She is not over-reacting to one thoughtless comment. John’s statement just provides the match to a massively built up pile of emotional tension, stresses, and conflicts around who she is, her needs, money, leadership, and submission. The idea then that she may lose Geoff, the one person who gives her what she feels she needs to help her carry the other part of her life is simply too much and she literally runs away.

Geoff sees her as a true submissive, one who literally begs him to dominate and humiliate her and loves, LOVES it when he does. If that is who she truly is, why would he not try to save her from a sexless marriage where her husband for his own financial gain, forces her to suffer and stress trying to be what she is not. It is not easy to pick a side in a marriage, but many of us have supported someone to get out of a relationship and situation that is making them unhappy and not meeting their needs.

John sees her a complex talented woman who has lovingly engaged in intense sexual games that satisfy both her and him. But to him, her talents, leadership, strength and dominance reflect who she truly is. That’s who he is in love with. It arouses him that she denies him and teases him about the sexual satisfaction she gets from exploring her submission with another man. But until now that has just been a game they play because that is not who she is. The idea it could blow up their marriage seems unfathomable. But leaving and considering permanently moving out is EXACTLY what people do when they are thinking of ending their marriage.

Dialectical thinking holds that seemingly opposing thoughts can both be true.

It is absolutely possible for completely opposite aspects of our personalities to become integrated and reach a point where they are just part of the complexity of life. And this board is full of people who are dominant in one area but submissive in another. But the journey to get there can be difficult and sometimes we choose one thing and walk away from another.

Anyway, my two cents and thank you again John for sharing.

Thank you @SusAno for a first and very insightful post. I’ve repeated on a number of occasions that I appreciate comments that make me think, and yours certainly ticks that box. A high degree of comprehension of the dynamic I’ve tried to put across is evident here, and you have drawn some conclusions that were only at this point in the proceedings beginning to dawn on me. I related that in the aftermath of Geoff evicting her from his bed and his life, Sherrie spiralled down rapidly, telling me in her despair that she didn’t know who she was anymore. I was compelled to reflect alone, at my tortured leisure after she left, on how the strain of everything had got to her far more than I ever knew. In fairness to myself, she’d hidden it from me admirably and from herself too, but at the time she had her BDSM fun, and our own very active sex life that fed off it as she teased and denied me while still keeping me totally satisfied and fulfilled. It was her pressure valve, and in all honesty, probably mine too. When that was summarily withdrawn, her decline was swift and devastating.

Most of what you say is cogent, and even aspects I don’t really concur with are fair comment. Appreciated!

[john jasson]

I can entirely agree with you SusAno, on one level. Psychology theory is one interpretation and certainly who is the core personality of Sherrie is at the centre of all this.
But did she need to have a meltdown? She married up these parts of herself happily before and a thoughtless remark shouldn’t have triggered it.
As you say, people in general cope with this everyday. We all wear masks.
Potentially there are no villains and as I’ve briefly mentioned and you’ve explained further, Geoff may have thought their marriage was a sham, since she saw Geoff so much.
But the problem with playing the cheating wife card for so long, is the illusion becomes unsustainable.
Either Geoff saw through them and realised John did know all along (John says Geoff is blissfully unaware) or Geoff saw his chance to take her.
I still see though, that he has been manipulating her into this position. You say he has been giving her aftercare but of what type? Whispering marriage wrecking ideas to her when she is in vulnerable sub space is not after care!
And in Sherries monologue, she lets drop about these talks of Geoff. So it has been going on.
At least, from what John has written…. but he is holding back some things I’m sure.

Did she need to have a meltdown? What a question! I guess she did given the chain of events or else it wouldn’t have happened. The impasse with Geoff was the culmination that let loose a lot of stresses and strains that were no doubt bubbling under the surface. The proverbial straw that broke the camel’s back. Hindsight is a wonderful thing.

Geoff shouldn’t have thought our marriage was a sham. He could be forgiven for thinking it was peculiar, although his relationship with Sher was hardly conventional. Before her deeper descent almost 3 years in, she had always maintained to him that she had a hot sex life at home, and I encouraged her to keep him aware of this regularly. After he took her deeper into her submission to him, she told him we weren’t having sex. She explained to me that she wanted to experience serving her master exclusively, but she also told him I was understanding about her reluctance, and that I just put it down to a hormonal issue that would eventually pass. She only ever told him that we hadn’t had sex since he (Geoff) last had her, which pleased him, but she never made a hard and fast commitment that marital sex wouldn’t happen. She merely told him that she would “do her best” to save herself for him. He laid down that anal penetration was his exclusive privilege, but she told him we never did anal very often (true) anyway, and it wouldn’t be difficult for her to avoid it with me without me suspecting something was going on.

In the end, the cheating wife scenario is our thing, and it’s what we get off on. It’s hot as hell to us. If he suspects something then he’d be smart to keep it to himself for fear of upsetting the whole applecart – unless, of course, he’s thinking of making a play for her himself. Good luck with that, because she’s mine.

[john jasson]

Great port @SusAno. Your analysis and subsequent hypothesis is well reasoned.
I’m inclined to agree with most of what you suggest. Perhaps the one aspect I’m less inclined to align with, are your thoughts on G…….Clearly he is a dominant, but I don’t believe he is a sadist. The pain, suffering and humiliation he provides to S is for her benefit and is largely encouraged by her.
I don’t believe G gets that much out of it per se. He gets off on control and I have to say he exercises that control to leverage maximum benefit to himself.
I struggle to accept that he made his pitch to S with the intention of saving her from “a sexless marriage”. I think he’s far too selfish for that. More likely, he’s made the pitch with a view to strengthening his control over S and hence increasing his own pleasures.
I’ve always struggled to get a good read on G and my take on him changes as J reveals more to us. Where we stand in the tale now, he appears to be the only one who is not getting all his needs met, ie he wanted a closer emotional bond to S, which she has firmly rebuffed. I wonder how sustainable this might be for him??
It will be interesting to hear what J thinks of your post and I look forward to hearing more from him in the future.

I don't see how Geoff doesn't get much out of it. I reckon many guys would change places with him, but you are right about his nature. Geoff is a dominant who is into erotic BDSM. Does that make him a sadist? Well, not in a red claw evil sort of way. He gets off on dominating her, controlling her behaviour in both mind and body, punishing her, causing her pain and extreme humiliation, but all within tight control. He’s told her many times that he doesn’t want to damage her permanently. On the contrary, he wants her to be the best that she can be, or at least his interpretation of it. She swears she trusts him and feels as safe with him as she does with me. It’s her way of reassuring me of her well being when she’s away with him, although it’s a reassurance that makes me uneasy. I like to think I’m her only protector, but clearly I’ve ceded that exclusivity in her mind.

[john jasson]

Speaking as a Dom previously, it’s hard work being a Dom!
So I think Geoff is getting all his needs satisfied, otherwise he wouldn’t do it. Remember this has been 4 years plus he had a sub before Sherrie too.
The only thing he isn’t getting, is Sherrie 24/7 and that is what he’s been trying to engineer, with these recent effects.
Sherrie was getting everything she wanted but now seems to be having existential angst.
John was happy mostly although I still feel some vibes from John that perhaps he would have liked the old Sherrie back a bit more- seeing her naked, having PIV sex again etc. Not so much time with Geoff.

We thought Geoff was getting all his needs satisfied too. He should have been, considering what he was doing to my lovely wife. We didn’t want to water down the dynamic at all. Although, again in retrospect it might have been wise. Sherrie and I were both entirely cool on their activities until the shit hit the fan. This made the fall out all the more shocking when it came. We were sure we had this under control.

[john jasson]

I'm conscious that in trying to get more up to date with responses to comments, I've buried the chapter posted on Friday among many additional posts. If it's the story you're looking for, here's the link straight to Friday's latest bit:
viewtopic.php?f=5&t=65359&start=1125#p1408592

For a little while I even managed to delete that chapter altogether, so that was a bit of fun!!

[Trickydicky69]

I think your latest update answers most questions John.
We’re getting the fuller background details which makes it clearer why Sherrie and yourself behaved in those ways.
I know you tried to explain without giving away too much about the future but probably that’s why we all ended up getting exasperated!

For example, Sherrie didn’t need to have a meltdown but did. Why should such an analytical person do that?
There were clues though:
You’ve just stated she had admitted to holding back her feelings before the big meltdown.
Additionally, there was a segment way back when Sherrie seemed to want to talk, a hint that she was no longer sure but then both you and her agreed it was all good and swept it under the carpet- opportunity missed. Yet you trusted her to tell you everything you needed to know. Clearly not! And you didn’t have everything under control, especially Geoff who neither of you really considered what he was thinking.

I know you both get off on the cheating wife dynamic (and still do) but I’m sure a bit more honesty might have helped.

But then we wouldn’t be reading this great salutary parable!

I think ages ago, you said that Sherrie doesn’t like to analyse herself or the past about these desires. Is that true though? Or were you putting us off asking those questions?
It would be fascinating to hear more from her perspective. Perhaps you can incorporate that into the final segments of how it ends with Geoff. Presumably now that she’s opened up to you again, you both will be having more honest discussions about your lifestyle and Geoff particularly (not sweeping under the carpet).
And how is she going to deal with him?

[john jasson]

Like SusAno I feel the need to publically post my thanks to John for a wonderfully engaging thread. I only found this thread a couple of weeks ago - looking for something to 'entertain' myself whilst I had the house to myself. I read it by chronologically jumping through John's main posts, skipping the comments in order to get to the end before members of my family returned to the house. I finished my read through indignant on John's behalf and full of admiration for his steadfast loyalty to Sherrie and their marriage! I was appalled by Sherrie's selfish and callous disregard of his feelings and their marriage (in particular her seemingly disproportionate response to his fairly innocous comment about cheap rate phone calls and her whole post blow up response including reconnecting with Geoff before any rapprochement with John), and also thoroughly disliking Geoff.
Last weekend i had an empty house again and, this is the real testament of how powerful this thread is, I reread it in its entirety twice - all of John's posts, all the comments by his readership and, crucially, his replies to those comments. This time I had a very different picture - respect for the way Sherrie so skillfully pushed John's buttons sexually, and also sympathy for the opposing pressures that were seemingly causing her such angst. For me as well (and I do apologise as this is your thread and your story) the verdict is out in terms of how I view John - is he nobly allowing Sherrie to explore her sexuality in a safe and supported way or is he allowing her to flirt with disaster in order to satisfy his own selfish sexual desires?
The figure I feel most sorry for (and I do realise that I could be sadly disabused of this view with what is to come) is Geoff. Imagine meeting what might be the women of your dreams, a willing and engaged participant in what ever you can come up with, and then finding that you are only providing her a service! Whether or not he knows that John is aware of his and Sherrie's activities, they are both using him for their sexual gratification without him having agreed to take play a role in this.
I'm dying to see how this plays out given that there is another 18 months to two years left of the Sherrie/Geoff relationship. I'm not going to predict anything (given how more experienced posters have got it some of it wrong so far), however I do wonder if it ends because Sherrie continues her descent (not a fall as it is by her own volition) into the bottomless pit and Geoff actually backs out because he is not up to it! It will also be interesting to see if the little and rare reservations expressed by John continue to grow, and what impact the continuation of these relationships have on the financial difficulties faced by their business and their marriage. Finally I'm hoping, given that this takes place about 20 years ago, that we have more of John and Sherrie's story and bring us up to date with park run away weekends.
I am full of admiration and envy for those of you who have been part of this journey for the last two years or so. I'm checking for updates every day and desperately hoping that the potential sale of their business doesn't distract him from finishing their story.
I've never been tempted to post before, so this is a testament to how powerful and engaging I've found John's posts and the engagement by the wider community with some amazingly interesting and insightful posts.

Another superbly insightful first post. Thank you, @Cuckysi , and I am gratified that you saw reading this as a worthwhile use of your time. Intriguing that you formed one interpretation on reading the narrative and another on reading it again in conjunction with the comments and my replies. I didn’t intend to portray Sherrie as selfish or callous, and if I did so then I did her a grave disservice. She is invariably loving, attentive and in all respects wonderful to me. She cherishes me in a way that’s beyond description, and I hope she would say I reciprocate in like fashion. I am pleased that some empathy is emerging through some more recent posts for the pressures she was feeling, that we had no idea were going to cause such a rupture.

Your equivocation on my own part in the drama, viz., noble steadfast loyalty to her or reckless selfishness as she flirts with disaster pulls me up short too. I’d never really considered it in that light.

As for Geoff, I wouldn’t waste too much sympathy. He knew she was happily married, and she frequently reminded him that what they had in play was red hot chemistry, exciting sexual/BDSM pleasure, but it was always for fun and nothing more. He could have dropped her at any time if he didn’t like that it wasn’t going anywhere domestically. If, in his arrogance, he wished to interpret things differently to her clear assertions on the basis that his erotic mastery over her would prevail and deliver her as his woman in the real world, then that was his business, but it was also his fantasy. She was under no obligation to make it come true for him. If she (we) is (are) using him for her (our) own gratification, then he is equally using her (my wife) for his, and putting them side by side, I know who most folks would think was getting the tastier end of the bargain! Beautiful, sex on legs, socially bubbly young woman in her prime with body to die for versus fit, macho but short, stocky, brooding, nothing to look at bloke approaching middle age. No contest! He was a very lucky man that there was just something about him that got her submissive streak motor running in a very big way and for an extended period of time.

Thank you once more. I am suitably chuffed that this induced you to make your inaugural post. It means a lot.

[john jasson]

Fair points Cuckysi.
I’m certainly minded to put Geoff in the naughty corner!
But it’s not unreasonable to try seeing it from his viewpoint. The amount of time she spent there would suggest there’s a problem in the marriage- if J & S had a normal marriage. However, they don’t, as it turns out. It’s survived all this upset plus the amount of free range they give each other.
Geoff probably had never encountered a couple like them - I know I struggle to really believe in the strength of this bond despite Johns explaining. And that’s with the benefit of this lifestyle forum. Which Geoff wouldn’t have had the benefit of at the time.
So perhaps he genuinely thought he had a fair game chance. Nevertheless there is evidence suggesting that he has been manipulating in the background and his attitude is that the husband is Sherries issue, not his.
So I think that does support my belief that Geoff has a selfish, narcissistic personality trait- he appears to have never married, not sure if had kids etc. Not it means that every unmarried guy is like that but makes you wonder.
And I personally think he is a sadist too, not just a control freak. So he might get off on causing emotional pain too.

I’ve already suggested that playing the cheating wife long term isn’t tenable, so again, giving him benefit of the doubt, perhaps he simply thought he’d stir things up and see how it all works out.

As for John using and abusing Sherrie for his own benefit- I don’t see it. Except as a subconscious thing - she wants to enjoy herself and it turns him on to let/encourage/support her. Which is basically what John tells us is the situation. So it suits them both. They’re very lucky to have found each other.
Except Geoff threw a spanner in the works.

I can’t see Sherrie going for deeper and darker submission at this point. She’d have to move in with Geoff to do that realistically and I don’t think either John or Sherrie could cope with that.
There’s been a severe event and even though she can’t give it up, I suspect she still registers it subconsciously and realises that actually she and John are reaching the limits of what they can expect of each other and still be together. Sherrie ought to give time now to John and have a proper reset, not blindly carrying on.

At what point are you no longer a couple? If she lived with Geoff for 2 years in deep submission, then in the UK, John can legally apply for divorce and she cannot stop him, even if she felt that they were still a couple and she was just “experimenting.” These are the extremes of course but it’s fair to say, their marriage is unusual in many ways but works for them.

As the previous poster mentioned, even talking about leaving your marriage suggests you might be reaching the point of doing it- weighing up the pros and cons. Consciously thinking of it… so the bond hasn’t broken but has come up for discussion. Geoff must now be confused though because she spends so much time there, visible marks, denies John sex yet also tells him she’s not leaving John!

It’s curious that John states that Geoff was never informed of the truth. Even afterwards. Makes you wonder why? And if they had been more upfront, perhaps all this wouldn’t have happened.
I know John says it was deliberate because it made it more exciting but as I said, was it tenable for Geoff to still believe it after 4 years?
So I can understand your sympathy for Geoff as he was just providing a service. So why didn’t Sherrie admit it to him when they reunited? They had a heart to heart then. But perhaps she did ? Perhaps it’s John who is in the dark?
John’s take has always been absolute trust of Sherrie to tell him what he needs to know. What if she did admit to Geoff what the truth was? And has never told John?

Perhaps he’s reading this now, thinking “I’ve been played for a fool”…. insert the name John or Geoff depending on your beliefs….
That’s just British irony/sarcasm by the way, not a criticism.
The lowest form of wit/humour….

Interesting comments, Tricky, particularly re Geoff, and I refer you to my response to @Cuckysi . We have proved that the cheating wife scenario can work long term and be very rewarding, and not just with Geoff. Sher’s next affair went on for even longer, and again based on him believing she was cheating! You’d be amazed how long these things can go on for. Sherrie has a friend who has been having an affair for 25 years with the same lover, and she actually IS cheating. Anyway, if Geoff didn’t believe it, he was smart enough to keep his mouth shut and take his pleasures.

[john jasson]

John… We’re waiting.

Ha ha. Hope it was worth it!!

[john jasson]

Almost 2 weeks since John even logged on. Maybe some of our criticisms of Sherrie's behaviour and our questioning of her commitment to their rock solid love and marriage as John's obviously was has driven him away.
I hope not.
After all, in the end he was proved to be right.

Ye of little faith!! Just a lot going on.

[john jasson]

Let’s hope for the best. I know we all like to speculate on this thread, but I really just hope he’s OK.

Yey. Thank you all for the concern!!!

[john jasson]

@cuckysi I have absolutely zero empathy for Geoff. He knowingly and willingly initiated an affair with a married woman. Sherrie’s complicity in this is irrelevant. Going into this relationship, Geoff had no idea of John and sherrie’s arrangement. So the best thing you can say about him is that he didn’t give a fuck, which in my book makes him a selfish and shitty human being. At worst, he wanted her for himself and to destroy her marriage. That would make him an even more despicable person.

I believe him to be in the former camp. He just had, and has a total disregard for other people’s lives and marriages. If that’s the best case scenario, he’s a piece of shit in my book. We won’t ever play with cheating men or men that think my wife is cheating on me. If they need to think she’s cheating in order to fuck her, they’re either an asshole or they’re insecure. Either way, they won’t get the privilege of fucking Mrs Bingham!

Well, obviously we see things slightly differently or we wouldn’t do what we do. I respect different views, of course. Geoff was taking his fill and giving her hers. She was giving me mine! If you read the latest piece you’ll have a bit more insight, but bottom line was that from soon after she met him she realised she had the hots for him with strange submissive overtones the strength of which both confused and simultaneously excited her. It wasn’t long before he gleaned what his presence was doing to her, he asked her out to dinner when I was away, and she put it on a plate for him. From then on he took control of her sexually and in his discipline over her. She lapped it up and didn’t hide it from him. It would be asking a lot of him to turn his back on that, we feel. Of course his expectations grew beyond what we were expecting, hence the problems. Up until then all was tickety-boo.

[john jasson]

I’m sure John is fine but busy. He’d tell us if he was permanently off the board although admittedly, Chris didn’t.
Probably just busy with work plus he does read and respond to our musings and he’s probably putting responses together offline.
After all, he’s got responses plus the next instalment to write!
He may be trying to finish the opus for us as it is a monster!

Still miss Chris. Quite the mystery what happened to him. Nekkedoutdoors too, who was one of the early advocates of this thread.

[john jasson]

John, I hope that nothing dire is keeping you from updating your riveting story. I'm sure your beautifully written posts must be labor-intensive with quite a bit of buffing, polishing and, maybe, consultation with Sherri before you're comfortable publishing. All of your avid readers appreciate your effort and are looking forward to hearing how you and Sherri navigated the last of the Geoff years... and then some.

Thank you for the kind words. Well, that goes for all of you. I don’t think there’s been a negative post on the entire thread since a couple on page 1, and for that I am grateful.