My story

[Whosbeensleeping]

Right on. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.

[SSQ]

Thanks guys. I know that I've come a long way as an individual, and as a relationship partner. Certainly my relationship with Henry has grown dramatically over the years. We were talking about it last night. We were both so broken by life early on in our relationship and I don't quite know how we got from that to where we are now, because I feel like this place is really, really good.

Henry is my best friend. I feel there is literally nothing that I can't talk to him about, no place that I have to fear being vulnerable. He has seen me through the good and the terrible, and he accepts and loves me for who I am. We have both changed over the past five years and I think we have helped each other become better versions of ourselves. And we've brought our relationship to a good place together.

It's not that we don't have places of conflict- we are still very different people, fundamentally, and we have different frames of reference. But we try to always approach things remembering first and foremost, that we love our partner.

I remember with Mark that he always complained that I never cut him any slack when he did something wrong. I remember feeling like his lack of attention to my requests meant that he didn't care about me. And honestly- I think that was true. I was not a priority to him, so neither were my requests. I had to learn that when Henry and I had similar issues, that I was not "cutting him slack" but remembering that he was trying his best and that sometimes he would screw up. And sometimes I would screw up too, and how would I want to be treated? By remembering that we love each other and that we are always trying our best for each other, it makes it so much easier to deal with issues without attacking the other person and to resolve them and move on without the anger and bitterness and bad feelings I used to have in my first marriage. This is a whole different ballgame and it's so much more loving and connected.

[samlowen]

Things simply work better when we find partners who are willing to put in the effort to communicate and listen. I’m incredibly happen for you that everything has been falling into place after Mark. A good friend of mine went through a similar experience with her husband leaving for his job, abandoning her and their child. Seeing firsthand what they went through wasn’t fun. They, like you, have survived and found ways to thrive. Thank you for continuing to share your story.

[SSQ]

If you fuck your husband for four hours straight, how many sex sessions do you record that as and why? Asking for a friend

I'm having a pretty wonderful Christmas. Charles came over for Christmas Eve since we were hosting Christmas, and my family was here and some of our mutual friends. Henry's family is always away for the winter. Then Charles spent the night, although I guess I reverse cuckolded him lol since this time I slept with Henry and we put Charles in the guest room. It's only fair that Henry gets me on some of the special occasions, too.

I think my favourite moment was after Kiddo had gone to bed and my family left for the night, and we had filled the stockings and put the gifts under the tree, and Henry and Charles sat down on the sofa and I was leaning on Henry with Charles rubbing my feet and we just cuddled and hung out and it was all relaxed and wonderful. Polyamory is pretty amazing at times.

[SSQ]

Oh, did I mention that Charles had one more gift for me before he left? He handed me a little key

[samlowen]

Since you already have a key to his heart, is this key what we are all assuming? Have you been talking about this type of play prior?

[SSQ]

Since you already have a key to his heart, is this key what we are all assuming? Have you been talking about this type of play prior?

It's exactly what you think it is He bought a longwearing chastity device on aliexpress, with the help of a friend of mine who is very into chastity play. I've written about him on my blog, Chris I think?

I am sure some people here find it odd that I do a lot of the typical cuckolding activities with my boyfriend instead of my husband, but we don't look at it as status or anything like that. It's just fun activities that work in that specific relationship. We do different things together because the sexual energy is different between us. I don't do things with one partner and not the other for any reason other than that.

But it's also why when I get asked which partner I prefer sexually, it's not a question I can answer. Sex is different with everyone. There is such a varied menu of things you can do with someone, so why would I want to do the exact same things with all my partners? What's the point in that? And it also means that I get satisfied differently with both of them, so I could never really say sex with one is better than the other. Either way, I think you'd be splitting that hair awfully fine, because they're both pretty amazing lovers. I attract partners who like to please me, both in life and in the bedroom.

[afagehi7]

Since you already have a key to his heart, is this key what we are all assuming? Have you been talking about this type of play prior?

It's exactly what you think it is He bought a longwearing chastity device on aliexpress, with the help of a friend of mine who is very into chastity play. I've written about him on my blog, Chris I think?

I am sure some people here find it odd that I do a lot of the typical cuckolding activities with my boyfriend instead of my husband, but we don't look at it as status or anything like that. It's just fun activities that work in that specific relationship. We do different things together because the sexual energy is different between us. I don't do things with one partner and not the other for any reason other than that.

But it's also why when I get asked which partner I prefer sexually, it's not a question I can answer. Sex is different with everyone. There is such a varied menu of things you can do with someone, so why would I want to do the exact same things with all my partners? What's the point in that? And it also means that I get satisfied differently with both of them, so I could never really say sex with one is better than the other. Either way, I think you'd be splitting that hair awfully fine, because they're both pretty amazing lovers. I attract partners who like to please me, both in life and in the bedroom.

So you cuck your boyfriend but not the hubby? Do you cuck him with hubby or with someone else entirely? I can certainly see if you like cucking a dude, hubby doesn't want cucked, and maybe hubby likes cucking him too acting as the "bull"

It's certainly an interesting dynamic. If you want to cuck someone and hubby isn't down with being cucked it makes sense that you would have that type of relationship with the BF. I reckon having the same thing with both kind of defeats the purpose.

[SSQ]

Since you already have a key to his heart, is this key what we are all assuming? Have you been talking about this type of play prior?

It's exactly what you think it is He bought a longwearing chastity device on aliexpress, with the help of a friend of mine who is very into chastity play. I've written about him on my blog, Chris I think?

I am sure some people here find it odd that I do a lot of the typical cuckolding activities with my boyfriend instead of my husband, but we don't look at it as status or anything like that. It's just fun activities that work in that specific relationship. We do different things together because the sexual energy is different between us. I don't do things with one partner and not the other for any reason other than that.

But it's also why when I get asked which partner I prefer sexually, it's not a question I can answer. Sex is different with everyone. There is such a varied menu of things you can do with someone, so why would I want to do the exact same things with all my partners? What's the point in that? And it also means that I get satisfied differently with both of them, so I could never really say sex with one is better than the other. Either way, I think you'd be splitting that hair awfully fine, because they're both pretty amazing lovers. I attract partners who like to please me, both in life and in the bedroom.

So you cuck your boyfriend but not the hubby? Do you cuck him with hubby or with someone else entirely? I can certainly see if you like cucking a dude, hubby doesn't want cucked, and maybe hubby likes cucking him too acting as the "bull"

It's certainly an interesting dynamic. If you want to cuck someone and hubby isn't down with being cucked it makes sense that you would have that type of relationship with the BF. I reckon having the same thing with both kind of defeats the purpose.

See, that's the thing- it's not like that, which was the point of that post.

I occasionally throw out remarks like,I'm reverse cuckolding him, and we all laugh because it really means nothing. We do the activities we enjoy. There is no cuckold and sure as hell no bull (I've always thought that terminology was ridiculous, frankly). I don't cuck anyone, nor do I want to.

What I do, is engage in activities that my partners and I enjoy together. There is no interrelated dynamic between Henry and Charles beyond friendship. No different status or roles other than one is my husband and one is my boyfriend. But since we practice descriptive hierarchy and not prescriptive, that doesn't translate to much anyway beyond time in and life entanglement.

I have lots of great sex with my boyfriend, and I don't plan to leave him in the cage permanently or anything like that. It's just another toy and set of activities we can play with. I certainly still plan to enjoy that cock whenever I want it... there just might be some teasing beforehand while he can't get hard

It's all about the different energy and intersections with partners, if you read my post above. There are many kinks I am not specifically into myself, but since my partner enjoys it so much it becomes a thing for us. NOT because I am doing it for them but because it sparks our sexual energy together. If that doesn't make sense to you, I don't know how else to explain it. Some activities become hot just because of the way that person and I interact, and so I do it with that partner and not my others. Is all your sex really the same with every partner? I think you're missing out, if so.

BOTH my boys are submissive to me, and not just in the bedroom. But not in that ridiculous porn kind of way. D/s can be very romantic and connected. And of course the D/s is different as well in my separate dyads.

So yes, there's a chastity device involved now. But it's not going to fundamentally change that I love Charles' cock and plan to enjoy it anytime I want it. It's just another symbol to me of the ways he is giving himself to me, and I find that aspect to be more erotic than anything else.

[samlowen]

I’m excited for you and Charles, adding chastity to your kinky bag of fun.

[afagehi7]

Since you already have a key to his heart, is this key what we are all assuming? Have you been talking about this type of play prior?

It's exactly what you think it is He bought a longwearing chastity device on aliexpress, with the help of a friend of mine who is very into chastity play. I've written about him on my blog, Chris I think?

I am sure some people here find it odd that I do a lot of the typical cuckolding activities with my boyfriend instead of my husband, but we don't look at it as status or anything like that. It's just fun activities that work in that specific relationship. We do different things together because the sexual energy is different between us. I don't do things with one partner and not the other for any reason other than that.

But it's also why when I get asked which partner I prefer sexually, it's not a question I can answer. Sex is different with everyone. There is such a varied menu of things you can do with someone, so why would I want to do the exact same things with all my partners? What's the point in that? And it also means that I get satisfied differently with both of them, so I could never really say sex with one is better than the other. Either way, I think you'd be splitting that hair awfully fine, because they're both pretty amazing lovers. I attract partners who like to please me, both in life and in the bedroom.

So you cuck your boyfriend but not the hubby? Do you cuck him with hubby or with someone else entirely? I can certainly see if you like cucking a dude, hubby doesn't want cucked, and maybe hubby likes cucking him too acting as the "bull"

It's certainly an interesting dynamic. If you want to cuck someone and hubby isn't down with being cucked it makes sense that you would have that type of relationship with the BF. I reckon having the same thing with both kind of defeats the purpose.

See, that's the thing- it's not like that, which was the point of that post.

I occasionally throw out remarks like,I'm reverse cuckolding him, and we all laugh because it really means nothing. We do the activities we enjoy. There is no cuckold and sure as hell no bull (I've always thought that terminology was ridiculous, frankly). I don't cuck anyone, nor do I want to.

What I do, is engage in activities that my partners and I enjoy together. There is no interrelated dynamic between Henry and Charles beyond friendship. No different status or roles other than one is my husband and one is my boyfriend. But since we practice descriptive hierarchy and not prescriptive, that doesn't translate to much anyway beyond time in and life entanglement.

I have lots of great sex with my boyfriend, and I don't plan to leave him in the cage permanently or anything like that. It's just another toy and set of activities we can play with. I certainly still plan to enjoy that cock whenever I want it... there just might be some teasing beforehand while he can't get hard

It's all about the different energy and intersections with partners, if you read my post above. There are many kinks I am not specifically into myself, but since my partner enjoys it so much it becomes a thing for us. NOT because I am doing it for them but because it sparks our sexual energy together. If that doesn't make sense to you, I don't know how else to explain it. Some activities become hot just because of the way that person and I interact, and so I do it with that partner and not my others. Is all your sex really the same with every partner? I think you're missing out, if so.

BOTH my boys are submissive to me, and not just in the bedroom. But not in that ridiculous porn kind of way. D/s can be very romantic and connected. And of course the D/s is different as well in my separate dyads.

So yes, there's a chastity device involved now. But it's not going to fundamentally change that I love Charles' cock and plan to enjoy it anytime I want it. It's just another symbol to me of the ways he is giving himself to me, and I find that aspect to be more erotic than anything else.

I won't proclaim to know anything about your poly lifestyle nor would I ever want one. I wouldn't want to have to manage 2 women nor would I want my wife emotionally involved with someone else. This reads negative but that's not the intent. While I wouldn't want it I find the Dynamics very interesting. You seem like a lot of woman so I can understand needing 2 guys to fill the different roles as it may be too much for any one man.

It's kind of cool that they are friends. I mean, I guess not being friends would probably mean problems would happen. I wonder what they talk about...like do the discuss things with you or is it more closed where each doesn't know the details of the what happens with the other. I guess you have to give them separate Xmas lists..hahaha

[SSQ]

Lots of people do parallel poly, in which case the metamours (the endpoints of the V) don't associate at all. We do kitchen table poly, which means that it's okay for us to hang out sometimes. Of course, every relationship still needs its own space.

They talk about regular stuff- they're friends. They talk about work, or politics, or food, or whatever topic happens to be interesting. LOL often they have conversations about technical stuff that bore me so even if we're all having dinner together they wind up ignoring me! It's kind of funny sometimes but I don't mind because I'm glad they get along.

Every relationship sets its own boundaries as to what level of disclosure is okay. Personally, I like being able to talk to them about my life, which includes what I do with the other. Most poly people wouldn't want that level of disclosure so consent is always important. Henry and Charles don't mind the kinds of talking that I do. I obviously don't share personal or intimate details- I don't mean sex, I mean like past history and really private and personal things. I didn't give either of them a Christmas list, btw- I expected they both know me well enough to give me something appropriate. Henry and I decided to do a winery tour together anyway as our Christmas gift to each other.

I don't look at it that I am too much for one person. I'm myself, and I'm awesome in some ways and less awesome in others. What Henry and I both want is just the freedom to be able to engage authentically with anyone in whatever way is mutually desirable. I wouldn't want to be monogamous because I like being able to just be myself- and I love knowing that I have a partner who understands that my love or desire for others doesn't take one little bit of my love or desire away from him.

I'm exactly the right amount of me for the right person. It's not like with two partners, they each get half of me. That's a common fallacy of polyamory. I've seen guys say, oh, get another boyfriend to share the load. Henry laughs when he sees people say stuff like that because that's not how it works. Both my partners get all of me. They get all of the good and all of the bad. One of the best things about polyamory is that you get the spillover. But one of the worst things about polyamory is you get the spillover lol.

I just think you might be coming at this from the wrong angle. I don't "need" 2 partners, and they certainly don't need to be different roles. And if anyone thought I was too much as a mono partner, I wouldn't want them as a poly partner anyway.

[Whosbeensleeping]

Your thoughts are so very much worth reading and thought-provoking.

[SSQ]

Hope you had a happy new year as well, Kandi!

The past couple of days has been another overflow of poly happiness Charles and Henry both had to work New Year's Eve, so I got stuff ready for our annual house party. It's super low key but we always have a massive spread of cheese and charcuterie, and people are invited to drop in whenever. It's a splurge but it's only once a year. Charles got there fairly early on, but Henry didn't get home until nearly ten. Still lots of time to relax with our friends and enjoy the food though.

We watched the ball drop, and I got two kisses at midnight Henry was really tired though and he went to bed not long after that. We had already planned that I would be spending the night with Charles, anyway. He had been a very good boy and worked so hard to make sure I was happy. He knows how much I enjoy receiving service and he made it a point to take care of my every need at the party and do the cleanup while I was still chatting so that I could go right upstairs when I wanted without lifting a finger.

Then we had to christen 2020 of course! I don't think we got to bed before 3am. I've had to have a lot of showers lately because I had sex with Henry right before he left for work on the 31st. Lots of sheet changing since I've apparently been alternating partners!

Today was just perfect though in terms of kitchen table poly. We slept in, and then Henry made gourmet omelettes like he does every January 1 with the leftover fancy cheese and meat. Then we all went out and hung out in the hot tub for an hour or so. Nothing too exciting- just hanging out like regular people. At one point Charles was holding my hand and Henry was rubbing my feet, but it was all just relaxing and affectionate. When we went back inside, Henry had some things to do so Charles and I had a shower and then decided to go spend some more quality time in the bedroom

It's been a pretty amazing day, and an awesome start to the new year.

[afagehi7]

I like your term "kitchen table poly". I'm not sure if you made it up but it certainly describes the situation. I'm still amazed at the lack of jealousy. I reckon if they weren't kitchen table friends things would get more complicated

[SSQ]

I like your term "kitchen table poly". I'm not sure if you made it up but it certainly describes the situation. I'm still amazed at the lack of jealousy. I reckon if they weren't kitchen table friends things would get more complicated

Kitchen table poly is a specific style of poly. I didn't make up the term. Its comparison is parallel poly. Neither style is right or wrong- it's what is right or wrong for different relationships. Neither style is more complicated- they both have their own sets of positives and challenges.

Frankly, I always said I preferred parallel poly because it would feel weird, but I hadn't experienced it. It's one reason why people in alternative lifestyles say never to make plans or assume things will be a certain way if you haven't tried them because you literally have no frame of reference to make that judgment. It's why I caution people here from making detailed rules and requirements for a situation that is unknown, because you really won't know until you're there.

And I've said it before and I'll say it again- jealousy isn't a feeling, but a response. Envy is a feeling, but I don't think that is usually what people are saying when they say jealousy. I think often (especially here) jealousy means control. You don't like when someone else has "your" spouse. But when you take an emotional step back to disentangle, you can make space to remember that it's not about YOU at all. Bodily autonomy. And then focus on if your needs are being met on your side of the relationship without worrying where or how else your spouse is spending their energy. If you're getting what you need, that's what matters.

Believe me, I still get jealous. But when I do, it signals to me that I'm missing something in my own relationship and it encourages me to drill down and do some self examination to figure out what it is. I love my husband and I want him to be happy, so if another partner is making him happy, I like and want that for him. If I feel jealous- maybe that means we need to schedule more quality time for ourselves, or sex, or whatever I feel like I'm missing. I don't say, I got jealous when you had sex with so-and-so, I say, let's schedule more time for us. Because that would actually fix the problem, not the symptom.

In monogamy, when our partners do something that make us uncomfortable, we ask them to stop. In the nonmonogamous community, we recognize this as an opportunity for personal growth. We recognize that jealousy is perfectly valid, but it is our issue to deal with, not our partner's. And it's our opportunity to learn from.

[afagehi7]

I like your term "kitchen table poly". I'm not sure if you made it up but it certainly describes the situation. I'm still amazed at the lack of jealousy. I reckon if they weren't kitchen table friends things would get more complicated

Kitchen table poly is a specific style of poly. I didn't make up the term. Its comparison is parallel poly. Neither style is right or wrong- it's what is right or wrong for different relationships. Neither style is more complicated- they both have their own sets of positives and challenges.

Frankly, I always said I preferred parallel poly because it would feel weird, but I hadn't experienced it. It's one reason why people in alternative lifestyles say never to make plans or assume things will be a certain way if you haven't tried them because you literally have no frame of reference to make that judgment. It's why I caution people here from making detailed rules and requirements for a situation that is unknown, because you really won't know until you're there.

And I've said it before and I'll say it again- jealousy isn't a feeling, but a response. Envy is a feeling, but I don't think that is usually what people are saying when they say jealousy. I think often (especially here) jealousy means control. You don't like when someone else has "your" spouse. But when you take an emotional step back to disentangle, you can make space to remember that it's not about YOU at all. Bodily autonomy. And then focus on if your needs are being met on your side of the relationship without worrying where or how else your spouse is spending their energy. If you're getting what you need, that's what matters.

Believe me, I still get jealous. But when I do, it signals to me that I'm missing something in my own relationship and it encourages me to drill down and do some self examination to figure out what it is. I love my husband and I want him to be happy, so if another partner is making him happy, I like and want that for him. If I feel jealous- maybe that means we need to schedule more quality time for ourselves, or sex, or whatever I feel like I'm missing. I don't say, I got jealous when you had sex with so-and-so, I say, let's schedule more time for us. Because that would actually fix the problem, not the symptom.

In monogamy, when our partners do something that make us uncomfortable, we ask them to stop. In the nonmonogamous community, we recognize this as an opportunity for personal growth. We recognize that jealousy is perfectly valid, but it is our issue to deal with, not our partner's. And it's our opportunity to learn from.

Interesting take on jealousy. I can see envy being related. Envy that the other is a better lover, cook, whatever...

I'm going to have to think about this jealousy thing for a bit as I consider it an emotion but I see where it could be a symptom.

With that said, couldn't one say anger, sadness, and happiness are also symptoms?

[SSQ]

Interesting take on jealousy. I can see envy being related. Envy that the other is a better lover, cook, whatever...

I'm going to have to think about this jealousy thing for a bit as I consider it an emotion but I see where it could be a symptom.

With that said, couldn't one say anger, sadness, and happiness are also symptoms?

No, because jealousy is a reaction to something. Anger, sadness, and happiness are emotions that don't require thought. Sometimes we will just feel that way. We don't just wake up in the morning and feel jealous- it's a reaction to something, which is why I encourage doing that personal work and thinking about why you're responding in that way.

Feelings are emotional wind, and they will pass. Symptoms won't unless you deal with the underlying cause, which is I think why people get so controlling. They genuinely feel better when their partner changes their behaviour, so that reinforces that control will solve the problem and give them what they want. Instead, they're just masking their own issues by dumping responsibility for them on their partner. My feelings and responses are MY responsibility, no one else's.

I think it's great that you are going to take some time to think about things like this.

[afagehi7]

My wife bakes a peach pie and gives it to me - happiness

My wife bakes a peach pie and eats it all before I get home - sadness

My wife bake a peach pie and gives it to another guy - anger and jealousy.

My wife bakes a peach pie and gives it to her father - no anger or jealousy.

I'd say anger is a response to jealousy. I'd say all emotions have an underlying trigger (peach pie).

Why is it that the act of giving the pie soliciting different "emotions" depending on to whom she gives it? It's the same, giving it to someone else so in both cases I am missing out on my "needs" but have a different emotional response. One could say that her eating the pie, giving it to a guy, her father should all solicit the same response since my need of pie is not being fulfilled.

[DbdChap]

My wife bakes a peach pie and gives it to me - happiness

My wife bakes a peach pie and eats it all before I get home - sadness

My wife bake a peach pie and gives it to another guy - anger and jealousy.

My wife bakes a peach pie and gives it to her father - no anger or jealousy.

I'd say anger is a response to jealousy. I'd say all emotions have an underlying trigger (peach pie).

Why is it that the act of giving the pie soliciting different "emotions" depending on to whom she gives it? It's the same, giving it to someone else so in both cases I am missing out on my "needs" but have a different emotional response. One could say that her eating the pie, giving it to a guy, her father should all solicit the same response since my need of pie is not being fulfilled.

That’s deep Buddy, but actually makes a lot of sense

[SSQ]

My wife bakes a peach pie and gives it to me - happiness

My wife bakes a peach pie and eats it all before I get home - sadness

My wife bake a peach pie and gives it to another guy - anger and jealousy.

My wife bakes a peach pie and gives it to her father - no anger or jealousy.

I'd say anger is a response to jealousy. I'd say all emotions have an underlying trigger (peach pie).

Why is it that the act of giving the pie soliciting different "emotions" depending on to whom she gives it? It's the same, giving it to someone else so in both cases I am missing out on my "needs" but have a different emotional response. One could say that her eating the pie, giving it to a guy, her father should all solicit the same response since my need of pie is not being fulfilled.

You're really missing quite a lot, so you might want to put more thought into this. Pie is not a need, and your process is far too simplistic for human beings Exactly why you used those quotation marks. But if you really want to learn things, you'll have to take that time on your own.

[CreamMilk]

Interesting take on jealousy. I can see envy being related. Envy that the other is a better lover, cook, whatever...

I'm going to have to think about this jealousy thing for a bit as I consider it an emotion but I see where it could be a symptom.

With that said, couldn't one say anger, sadness, and happiness are also symptoms?

No, because jealousy is a reaction to something. Anger, sadness, and happiness are emotions that don't require thought. Sometimes we will just feel that way. We don't just wake up in the morning and feel jealous- it's a reaction to something, which is why I encourage doing that personal work and thinking about why you're responding in that way.

Feelings are emotional wind, and they will pass. Symptoms won't unless you deal with the underlying cause, which is I think why people get so controlling. They genuinely feel better when their partner changes their behaviour, so that reinforces that control will solve the problem and give them what they want. Instead, they're just masking their own issues by dumping responsibility for them on their partner. My feelings and responses are MY responsibility, no one else's.

I think it's great that you are going to take some time to think about things like this.

Jealousy is a mood too and emotions are pretty reactionary as well. Perhaps you don't examine your moods but happiness, anger and sorrow usually come from prior events as well. Feelings don't just happen out of nowhere.

[armyguyot1]

Welcome to the forum CreamMilk.

[afagehi7]

My wife bakes a peach pie and gives it to me - happiness

My wife bakes a peach pie and eats it all before I get home - sadness

My wife bake a peach pie and gives it to another guy - anger and jealousy.

My wife bakes a peach pie and gives it to her father - no anger or jealousy.

I'd say anger is a response to jealousy. I'd say all emotions have an underlying trigger (peach pie).

Why is it that the act of giving the pie soliciting different "emotions" depending on to whom she gives it? It's the same, giving it to someone else so in both cases I am missing out on my "needs" but have a different emotional response. One could say that her eating the pie, giving it to a guy, her father should all solicit the same response since my need of pie is not being fulfilled.

You're really missing quite a lot, so you might want to put more thought into this. Pie is not a need, and your process is far too simplistic for human beings Exactly why you used those quotation marks. But if you really want to learn things, you'll have to take that time on your own.

Complex Human behavior usually has relatively simplistic explanations and constructs. The antecedents to the constructs are more complex and often the subject of the research.

Call pie sex...say a husband is meetings his wife's needs for sex and intimacy but is caught servicing another woman. The result is jealousy and anger and sadness even though her needs are being met. So, as long as her needs are met then why should she be angry and jealous?

[SSQ]

My wife bakes a peach pie and gives it to me - happiness

My wife bakes a peach pie and eats it all before I get home - sadness

My wife bake a peach pie and gives it to another guy - anger and jealousy.

My wife bakes a peach pie and gives it to her father - no anger or jealousy.

I'd say anger is a response to jealousy. I'd say all emotions have an underlying trigger (peach pie).

Why is it that the act of giving the pie soliciting different "emotions" depending on to whom she gives it? It's the same, giving it to someone else so in both cases I am missing out on my "needs" but have a different emotional response. One could say that her eating the pie, giving it to a guy, her father should all solicit the same response since my need of pie is not being fulfilled.

You're really missing quite a lot, so you might want to put more thought into this. Pie is not a need, and your process is far too simplistic for human beings Exactly why you used those quotation marks. But if you really want to learn things, you'll have to take that time on your own.

Complex Human behavior usually has relatively simplistic explanations and constructs. The antecedents to the constructs are more complex and often the subject of the research.

Call pie sex...say a husband is meetings his wife's needs for sex and intimacy but is caught servicing another woman. The result is jealousy and anger and sadness even though her needs are being met. So, as long as her needs are met then why should she be angry and jealous?

Because he violated their agreements?