My story

[Mad Dog65]

SSQ - great to hear that you all are well thank you for sharing your reflections!

[SSQ]

I had a little bit of an online flirtation last night on an app for queer women. I am not ready to go meet people in person but a little chat never hurt anything. I ran into a trans woman who was full of witty banter and really enjoyed the conversation. Maybe it will go somewhere and maybe it won't, but just being able to do it makes me happy.

You know what I love the most about my husband? He loves me for who I am and wants me to be happy. He recognizes that we will all go through changes in our lives, and still makes the choice to love me. I could wake up one morning and decide I want to do something totally different like start a brand new hobby or whatnot, and he would still accept me for who I am. I have never felt so secure in love before. There are decisions I could make that would render us incompatible, but other than that? I can dream my dreams and his first response will be to help me build them. I've never been loved like this before... and all it does is make me want to love him the same way so he can be as happy as he makes me.

When you find someone who is truly right for you, the more you give, the more you receive in return.

[anonymister1948]

When you find someone who is truly right for you, the more you give, the more you receive in return.

Your posts lately have been so uplifting! It is heartwarming to read your love story.

Nothing beats love combined with selflessness, compassion, communication, and insight. When I read here and on other relationship boards, it seems that folks get the "love" part down but are missing some (or all) of the components that make it so great. I can't count the number of times I've asked, "We're strangers, what does your partner think?" Only to have them express they haven't brought it up yet.

[SSQ]

Well, most of my life is a mess right now, but at least my love life is going well. I might as well focus my energy in the places where it's good, right?

Henry has his first date with the new woman tomorrow. Fortunately, we found out she is not a militant vegan! She's vegetarian, but that will be easy enough to work with. Honestly, vegan would have been easy enough to work with in terms of dietary stuff- it was that militant attitude we were worried about.

He's anxious and excited and I am really happy to find that I am genuinely so happy for him! He'd been tired lately so he hadn't messaged her and I poked him to remind him that he should do so, since she's now two weeks post her second vaccination. I'm glad that he did. Maybe they'll click in person and maybe they won't, but I'm glad he's putting himself out there and making new connections.

He's a little sad about dating in the time of covid, and I get that. Our family has negotiated that we are only seeing fully vaccinated people outdoors at this time, and while we're not being strict about the 2m distancing, we are still not touching. It's sad because we're huggy people, but given Delta and the fact that Kiddo is too young to be vaccinated, we are more comfortable with this at the current juncture. He wonders what will happen if they do hit it off and I get that it's disappointing knowing that he doesn't have the option of kissing or cuddling with her at this time. We're just watching to see how things go in the community and we can reevaluate from there. I told him there's always the option of her quarantining since she works from home and then they could hook up afterwards. Sucks that these have to be considerations, but if there's something there, they'll find a way to make it work.

I remember how hard it was this past year with Charles when we were having to distance because he lived with his roommates so there was no way to quarantine safely. He's been living here for almost a year now and it made all the difference. But man it was rough not being able to touch him. I know that was with a two year relationship behind it though, so not quite the same as starting a relationship under these restrictions, but I know it won't be easy for him and I'll do my best to support Henry any way I can.

I hope they have an awesome date tomorrow!

[Open2it]

Great update. COVID certainly has put a crimp in many of the more pleasurable aspects of life but the alternative of ignoring it really sucks. Hopefully, Henry’s new friend is open minded and totally cool with poly life. That could be fun for all of you!

[SSQ]

Great update. COVID certainly has put a crimp in many of the more pleasurable aspects of life but the alternative of ignoring it really sucks. Hopefully, Henry’s new friend is open minded and totally cool with poly life. That could be fun for all of you!

Oh she certainly knows he’s poly- we would never sandbag people like that!

[SSQ]

So, their date went really well. They went for a hike and then came back here for hanging out in the hot tub and dinner outside. After she left, she texted him that she had fun and would like to get together again. Since they still can't be in physical contact, they haven't had much opportunity to assess their level of chemistry yet. Henry was feeling some, but the nice thing is that he's not one of the creepy men who are only out to get into someone's pants. He genuinely likes her (I'm going to call her Vera), and he'll be happy whether they are friends, friends with benefits, or if they start to date.

Since they have to stay outdoors, he's planning on suggesting a picnic this weekend, I think. It's nice to see him excited

[R_H_NC]

I am confused as to the situation with Charles and now your husband. You said Charles has been living with you for almost a year but it was rough not being able to touch him. I assume by that you are referring to the period before he moved in as you have discussed sexual activity after he moved in. As I remember it, your husband had medical risks with exposure and Charles was in a high-risk environment at home (roomates) and at work (being around multiple people). Yet Charles moved in.

Evidently you were able to reconcile Charles moving in but how is the risk now unable to be mitigated with regard to your husband and Vera being able to be physical?

[SSQ]

I am confused as to the situation with Charles and now your husband. You said Charles has been living with you for almost a year but it was rough not being able to touch him. I assume by that you are referring to the period before he moved in as you have discussed sexual activity after he moved in. As I remember it, your husband had medical risks with exposure and Charles was in a high-risk environment at home (roomates) and at work (being around multiple people). Yet Charles moved in.

Evidently you were able to reconcile Charles moving in but how is the risk now unable to be mitigated with regard to your husband and Vera being able to be physical?

Yes, I think you are confused lol. Charles and I had to socially distance because until he moved in, he had roommates. Therefore there was too much risk involved in having dates with him. When he moved in, he wore an N95 mask to work and if he saw anyone else (which realistically, he didn't). The N95 at work wouldn't have helped if he was coming home to roommates anyway. We became one household and therefore no additional covid worries. We have been very cautious with regards to covid- we didn't just move him in anyway! Regardless of infectious diseases, you should not just move people into your home lightly

Between then and now, everyone has been double vaxxed. Additionally, our current household boundaries are to visit only with one bubble of double vaccinated people at a time, i.e. no parties, we see one household at a time outdoors only. We still socially distance even in those circumstances, but we don't wear masks,

Henry and Vera have not been physical and there are currently no plans for them to do so. They're just hanging out outside, distanced (our tub is big enough for 2m distance) and getting to know each other. I specifically mentioned in my previous comment that dating in the time of covid sucks since they can't touch.

[R_H_NC]

I am confused as to the situation with Charles and now your husband. You said Charles has been living with you for almost a year but it was rough not being able to touch him. I assume by that you are referring to the period before he moved in as you have discussed sexual activity after he moved in. As I remember it, your husband had medical risks with exposure and Charles was in a high-risk environment at home (roomates) and at work (being around multiple people). Yet Charles moved in.

Evidently you were able to reconcile Charles moving in but how is the risk now unable to be mitigated with regard to your husband and Vera being able to be physical?

Yes, I think you are confused lol. Charles and I had to socially distance because until he moved in, he had roommates. Therefore there was too much risk involved in having dates with him. When he moved in, he wore an N95 mask to work and if he saw anyone else (which realistically, he didn't). The N95 at work wouldn't have helped if he was coming home to roommates anyway. We became one household and therefore no additional covid worries. We have been very cautious with regards to covid- we didn't just move him in anyway! Regardless of infectious diseases, you should not just move people into your home lightly

Between then and now, everyone has been double vaxxed. Additionally, our current household boundaries are to visit only with one bubble of double vaccinated people at a time, i.e. no parties, we see one household at a time outdoors only. We still socially distance even in those circumstances, but we don't wear masks,

Henry and Vera have not been physical and there are currently no plans for them to do so. They're just hanging out outside, distanced (our tub is big enough for 2m distance) and getting to know each other. I specifically mentioned in my previous comment that dating in the time of covid sucks since they can't touch.

I remain confused because you were dating Charles and had him move in.........in the time of COVID. In the end it's all good because it's working out for you. My confusion is irrelevant at this point.

[SSQ]

I am confused as to the situation with Charles and now your husband. You said Charles has been living with you for almost a year but it was rough not being able to touch him. I assume by that you are referring to the period before he moved in as you have discussed sexual activity after he moved in. As I remember it, your husband had medical risks with exposure and Charles was in a high-risk environment at home (roomates) and at work (being around multiple people). Yet Charles moved in.

Evidently you were able to reconcile Charles moving in but how is the risk now unable to be mitigated with regard to your husband and Vera being able to be physical?

Yes, I think you are confused lol. Charles and I had to socially distance because until he moved in, he had roommates. Therefore there was too much risk involved in having dates with him. When he moved in, he wore an N95 mask to work and if he saw anyone else (which realistically, he didn't). The N95 at work wouldn't have helped if he was coming home to roommates anyway. We became one household and therefore no additional covid worries. We have been very cautious with regards to covid- we didn't just move him in anyway! Regardless of infectious diseases, you should not just move people into your home lightly

Between then and now, everyone has been double vaxxed. Additionally, our current household boundaries are to visit only with one bubble of double vaccinated people at a time, i.e. no parties, we see one household at a time outdoors only. We still socially distance even in those circumstances, but we don't wear masks,

Henry and Vera have not been physical and there are currently no plans for them to do so. They're just hanging out outside, distanced (our tub is big enough for 2m distance) and getting to know each other. I specifically mentioned in my previous comment that dating in the time of covid sucks since they can't touch.

I remain confused because you were dating Charles and had him move in.........in the time of COVID. In the end it's all good because it's working out for you. My confusion is irrelevant at this point.

I'm perplexed as to what you don't understand. When Charles and I had to socially distance, it was because a) work and b) roommates. That is too many vectors of potential transmission. He started wearing an N95 to work every day so he was protected but that didn't solve the roommate issue. So he got a PCR test and was negative, and then moved in. He moved in so that we could actually see each other safely. He does not see anyone else now without distancing. Now the three of us negotiate risk together so we can work on what's best for the whole family.

No one is seeing anyone, even vaccinated, indoors. And no one is having physical contact with anyone outside our household at this time.

[SSQ]

#polylife lol.

Hearing my husband's phone ding and watching him pick it up right away with that little frisson of excitement, hoping it would be his new interest. Sorry guys, I know it bugs some of you when your wives get messages and behave like this, but I'm just overflowing with love and compersion for him. I love him and I want him to be happy, and if he's getting some excitement from getting to know a new person- then I am thrilled for him. Charles has even pointed out that I'm glowing seeing Henry glow. It's good times.

Things are still going swimmingly. I had an outside visit with my ex-girlfriend, who is still a close friend of mine. It was really good to see her and reconnect, well without actual connection at least. Covid is still stressing us out, but we figure we'll wait and see what the fall brings, especially since Kiddo can be vaccinated then. I suggested to Henry that he and Vera could take the quick tests, and if it came up negative there's a good enough chance with our level of community transmission that everything is ok, and then they could do a temporary bubble for a couple of days and have a sexfest lol. They're still getting to know each other, so we'll see.

Charles and I had some good personal time yesterday I'm still not having nearly as much sex as I'd like, but I can't argue about the quality! And I'm lucky still to have two partners in my bubble, which I know is more than most.

[SSQ]

There hasn't been much to post about. All is well here in SSQland! It just feels like family, but with one extra person

Today is Thanksgiving and we're sitting down for a lovely turkey dinner. It's just our household because of covid, but hopefully things will be better soon. Just a quiet and relaxing day, a good meal, and my loves.

[Lookingforadventure]

There hasn't been much to post about. All is well here in SSQland! It just feels like family, but with one extra person

Today is Thanksgiving and we're sitting down for a lovely turkey dinner. It's just our household because of covid, but hopefully things will be better soon. Just a quiet and relaxing day, a good meal, and my loves.

Happy Thanksgiving!

[Mad Dog65]

Happy Thanksgiving! Enjoy.

[Whosbeensleeping]

Happy Thanksgiving! We had our dinner today. So nice to meet with family in person this time. Sending you my warmest wishes to you and your family. It's always great to hear from you.

[veub]

This may be too personal a question but I was wondering if your ex maintains a relationship with your child. Has he tried to use your living relationship against you in regard to custody/visitation?

[SSQ]

This may be too personal a question but I was wondering if your ex maintains a relationship with your child. Has he tried to use your living relationship against you in regard to custody/visitation?

I'm not sure what exactly would be used against me, frankly. Given that this is a fetish site and people are engaging in far riskier behaviours than I do, I don't see your point of singling me out. Polyamory has been in the courts several times in recent years and it has always been upheld that it is not contrary to a child's best interests.

However, my ex hasn't seen or spent time with Kiddo in years. Kiddo calls Henry Dad, because he is.

[veub]

This may be too personal a question but I was wondering if your ex maintains a relationship with your child. Has he tried to use your living relationship against you in regard to custody/visitation?

I'm not sure what exactly would be used against me, frankly. Given that this is a fetish site and people are engaging in far riskier behaviours than I do, I don't see your point of singling me out. Polyamory has been in the courts several times in recent years and it has always been upheld that it is not contrary to a child's best interests.

That's why I said "tried". I didn't mean to imply that he would be successful.
Neither did I intend to single you out. The reason I asked is that you are open to your child about your relationship. Almost everyone on here keeps (or believes they are keeping) their activities hidden from their children.
I can't think of another person who has posted that they are open with a non-adult child. I wanted to know if you had suffered adverse consequences from that openness.

[SSQ]

This may be too personal a question but I was wondering if your ex maintains a relationship with your child. Has he tried to use your living relationship against you in regard to custody/visitation?

I'm not sure what exactly would be used against me, frankly. Given that this is a fetish site and people are engaging in far riskier behaviours than I do, I don't see your point of singling me out. Polyamory has been in the courts several times in recent years and it has always been upheld that it is not contrary to a child's best interests.

That's why I said "tried". I didn't mean to imply that he would be successful.
Neither did I intend to single you out. The reason I asked is that you are open to your child about your relationship. Almost everyone on here keeps (or believes they are keeping) their activities hidden from their children.
I can't think of another person who has posted that they are open with a non-adult child. I wanted to know if you had suffered adverse consequences from that openness.

Fair enough. There are loads of poly people who are open with their families, including children. It's because it's a relationship style and not a sexual kink.

Assuming you're behaving like normal people and not introducing short term partners to children, so that they don't see a revolving door, it's honestly to their benefit. More adults around who care about the kids and will interact with them. An extra person to babysit when each dyad goes on dates. And open and honest conversations about consent, relationship models, and communication. As far as I'm concerned, polyamory is a great dynamic for children. My son knows that he can negotiate for whatever he wants in a relationship as long as his partner(s) consent, and that's more than many teens get to learn.

[SSQ]

Happy Halloween, everyone!

I've been sitting around the breakfast table with my loves and it was nice being able to say, who's going to have energy tonight? I'm ovulating intensely this month and that makes me much more sex crazy than usual. Obviously no interest in getting pregnant or any fantasies of that nature (I have an IUD in), but it's nice to know I'll get my needs met when it will feel better than usual!

Looks like it will be Henry, since Charles will be taking Kiddo trick or treating tonight. He offered several weeks ago and it's nice for them to get some quality time in too.

There are so many wonderful advantages to having a poly family. It brings me so much happiness most of the time. And everyone else says they are happy with the status quo too- it's not just for me. It's really awesome having an extra person to be part of the household- babysitting, chores, finances, etc. Kiddo has an extra adult to spend time with and hang out with. And both my loves have a friend with similar interests to hang out with. And there's more love and happiness and sex and good times <3 I work very hard to balance everyone's needs and wants, and to make sure they get enough quality time with me. I don't know what the expiry date is on these relationships, but I'm going to enjoy every moment in the meantime.

[Mad Dog65]

Happy Halloween - have a great night and thanks for sharing your gratitude!

[Des 31]

Hi everyone, I'm new here. Looking forward to meeting some other like minded people since one of the toughest issues I had with this lifestyle is feeling that I had no one to talk to about it!

I'm 29 .... It was incredible- the sexual tension, and all the anticipation of 12 days of seduction coming to a head. . . . the sex was great. It was a mindblowing experience. . . - -- . . . had some trouble handling it at first, but once we spent time talking about our thoughts and feelings and saw what an amazing effect this was having both on our marriage and our sex life, he realized that he was actually fine with it and has greenlighted me to continue meeting other men. . . .

This has been just amazing; I feel so much more sexual than I used to. . . . I feel more beautiful and desirable and just generally happier than I used to. . . . .

My 34-year-old wife has said the same more than a few times. And, she was very close to your age the first time she and then coworker began having sex. When I learned of it three months into their affair, I was fully on board for her to date others.

But it isn't just she who benefits. Your amazement and excitation are also ways I feel at the times she and other men are united as one. She tells me each time another man is inside her is as thrilling as her first, and that's mind-blowing for each of us.

~ Des

[SSQ]

Hi everyone, I'm new here. Looking forward to meeting some other like minded people since one of the toughest issues I had with this lifestyle is feeling that I had no one to talk to about it!

I'm 29 .... It was incredible- the sexual tension, and all the anticipation of 12 days of seduction coming to a head. . . . the sex was great. It was a mindblowing experience. . . - -- . . . had some trouble handling it at first, but once we spent time talking about our thoughts and feelings and saw what an amazing effect this was having both on our marriage and our sex life, he realized that he was actually fine with it and has greenlighted me to continue meeting other men. . . .

This has been just amazing; I feel so much more sexual than I used to. . . . I feel more beautiful and desirable and just generally happier than I used to. . . . .

My 34-year-old wife has said the same more than a few times. And, she was very close to your age the first time she and then coworker began having sex. When I learned of it three months into their affair, I was fully on board for her to date others.

But it isn't just she who benefits. Your amazement and excitation are also ways I feel at the times she and other men are united as one. She tells me each time another man is inside her is as thrilling as her first, and that's mind-blowing for each of us.

~ Des

It's funny, seeing you quote my first post made me think about my first experience. And in hindsight? It wasn't very ethical, the way the other couple handled things.

I feel like I've learned so much over the years from my experiences. My counselor has really helped me think about my whys and to consider what kind of person I want to be. I've made mistakes in the past, but I don't ever really want people sitting around saying, man that SSQ really took advantage of me, or didn't tell me everything I needed to know, or violated my consent.

That's not who I am, and it's not who I want to be. I'm a hedonist and I love having all kinds of decadent fun, but I'd like to leave the world a slightly better place because I was in it. I don't want my fun to be at someone else's expense.

[parklife]

It's funny, seeing you quote my first post made me think about my first experience. And in hindsight? It wasn't very ethical, the way the other couple handled things.

I recently read thru your thread from start to finish… you certainly seem to have morphed and changed over the years especially after that first hiatus you took for a while. While I haven’t read back they your blog from the beginning, I’m sure it would provide more context. Your’s seems such an incredible journey from the start. The way you’ve changed, the way it reads your moral compass has come to true north. Not sure if I read into wrong, but it seems that has been as much of your journey as anything sexual.

Admittedly, I find you fascinating in some sense…. Not in an internet stalker kind of way but in a “I want to be more like SSQ when I grow up”…. Like I admire how you’ve grown and wish I do the same.