Ask a Hotwife Thread, to be answered by VHWs only!

[2inUPMichigan]

Do any other hotwives have primary partners/husband's that want them to cheat on them? We've been open (primarily on my end) since we've been together and I have a regular fwb that he is always aware of encounters with beforehand. Now he's been starting to pressure me to cheat on him and not tell him until weeks or months later. I prefer him to be present or at least aware, because then I get to enjoy him getting excited as I get myself ready to see my fwb and he gets the anticipation of me coming home to be reclaimed. Just wondering if anyone elses SO has changed their preferences and should I be concerned he's trying to remove himself from the experiences now?

Has he given you a reason for the change in direction?

[Daphne1173]

Do any other hotwives have primary partners/husband's that want them to cheat on them? We've been open (primarily on my end) since we've been together and I have a regular fwb that he is always aware of encounters with beforehand. Now he's been starting to pressure me to cheat on him and not tell him until weeks or months later. I prefer him to be present or at least aware, because then I get to enjoy him getting excited as I get myself ready to see my fwb and he gets the anticipation of me coming home to be reclaimed. Just wondering if anyone elses SO has changed their preferences and should I be concerned he's trying to remove himself from the experiences now?

Has he given you a reason for the change in direction?

He just says he thinks it would be hot for me to sneak around and him not know. He wants me to act like I'm single with this imaginary guy and then once I "confess" to him then anytime I'm not with him he will be wondering if I'm with "him" or not.
He knows I'm not comfortable meeting guys alone the first time, but still continues to push the agenda constantly. He started talking about it in bed the other night and I got so turned off my it that sex started to get painful because I dried up pretty quickly. He said he didn't notice. Just not sure how to move forward together where we are both comfortable as this is something he definitely wants to happen and I just don't think I can do it alone.
For those of you that do meet guys alone, how do you ensure your safety, especially when you can't tell your #1 where you are and who you're with?

[2inUPMichigan]

Do any other hotwives have primary partners/husband's that want them to cheat on them? We've been open (primarily on my end) since we've been together and I have a regular fwb that he is always aware of encounters with beforehand. Now he's been starting to pressure me to cheat on him and not tell him until weeks or months later. I prefer him to be present or at least aware, because then I get to enjoy him getting excited as I get myself ready to see my fwb and he gets the anticipation of me coming home to be reclaimed. Just wondering if anyone elses SO has changed their preferences and should I be concerned he's trying to remove himself from the experiences now?

Has he given you a reason for the change in direction?

He just says he thinks it would be hot for me to sneak around and him not know. He wants me to act like I'm single with this imaginary guy and then once I "confess" to him then anytime I'm not with him he will be wondering if I'm with "him" or not.
He knows I'm not comfortable meeting guys alone the first time, but still continues to push the agenda constantly. He started talking about it in bed the other night and I got so turned off my it that sex started to get painful because I dried up pretty quickly. He said he didn't notice. Just not sure how to move forward together where we are both comfortable as this is something he definitely wants to happen and I just don't think I can do it alone.
For those of you that do meet guys alone, how do you ensure your safety, especially when you can't tell your #1 where you are and who you're with?

Ok I got it. So he wants a cheating wife scenario and you would prefer to continue with things the way they are.

You know what? There was a couple that tried this as an experiment but the guy was someone she was already playing with. So she would go out on play dates without telling him beforehand and then "confess" afterwards. But it was someone that he already knew about. Would that work for you? Is there someone that you already play with that this could work with?
Other than that I don't have any suggestions because I have as always played solo but hubby always knows who I am with and where I am at.

As far as safety I get to know the men I play with before I ever meet them in person. When I do meet for the 1st time it is at a specific place that hubby and I agreed on because of its increased security. Being in public I can further evaluate whether or not I feel comfortable moving into a more private setting (hotel room). If I do go to his room then I make sure I have my cell with me and I always visually scan the room looking for any issues.
I never give out my real phone number, my last name or my address. If I can't talk myself out of a bad situation then I will get out of there physically.

Every woman should know how to physically impair a man enough to get away from him if she ever finds herself in a dangerous situation. If she doesn't know then she shouldn't put herself in potentially dangerous situations. Most men are physically stronger so as women we have to know how to get away if we are in danger.

The key is to not get yourself in those situations in the first place.

Oops sorry, rambled a bit

Oh hey! What about a friend? Is there anyone you trust that you can talk to about this? Did you ever have a friend was your phone call out of a situation? You know.....call me at 8 and pretend there is an emergency so I can get out of this ...that kind of friend. Have them call part way through the play date so you can check in with someone. (Worth a thought)

[Daphne1173]

Do any other hotwives have primary partners/husband's that want them to cheat on them? We've been open (primarily on my end) since we've been together and I have a regular fwb that he is always aware of encounters with beforehand. Now he's been starting to pressure me to cheat on him and not tell him until weeks or months later. I prefer him to be present or at least aware, because then I get to enjoy him getting excited as I get myself ready to see my fwb and he gets the anticipation of me coming home to be reclaimed. Just wondering if anyone elses SO has changed their preferences and should I be concerned he's trying to remove himself from the experiences now?

Has he given you a reason for the change in direction?

He just says he thinks it would be hot for me to sneak around and him not know. He wants me to act like I'm single with this imaginary guy and then once I "confess" to him then anytime I'm not with him he will be wondering if I'm with "him" or not.
He knows I'm not comfortable meeting guys alone the first time, but still continues to push the agenda constantly. He started talking about it in bed the other night and I got so turned off my it that sex started to get painful because I dried up pretty quickly. He said he didn't notice. Just not sure how to move forward together where we are both comfortable as this is something he definitely wants to happen and I just don't think I can do it alone.
For those of you that do meet guys alone, how do you ensure your safety, especially when you can't tell your #1 where you are and who you're with?

Ok I got it. So he wants a cheating wife scenario and you would prefer to continue with things the way they are.

You know what? There was a couple that tried this as an experiment but the guy was someone she was already playing with. So she would go out on play dates without telling him beforehand and then "confess" afterwards. But it was someone that he already knew about. Would that work for you? Is there someone that you already play with that this could work with?
Other than that I don't have any suggestions because I have as always played solo but hubby always knows who I am with and where I am at.

As far as safety I get to know the men I play with before I ever meet them in person. When I do meet for the 1st time it is at a specific place that hubby and I agreed on because of its increased security. Being in public I can further evaluate whether or not I feel comfortable moving into a more private setting (hotel room). If I do go to his room then I make sure I have my cell with me and I always visually scan the room looking for any issues.
I never give out my real phone number, my last name or my address. If I can't talk myself out of a bad situation then I will get out of there physically.

Every woman should know how to physically impair a man enough to get away from him if she ever finds herself in a dangerous situation. If she doesn't know then she shouldn't put herself in potentially dangerous situations. Most men are physically stronger so as women we have to know how to get away if we are in danger.

The key is to not get yourself in those situations in the first place.

Oops sorry, rambled a bit

Oh hey! What about a friend? Is there anyone you trust that you can talk to about this? Did you ever have a friend was your phone call out of a situation? You know.....call me at 8 and pretend there is an emergency so I can get out of this ...that kind of friend. Have them call part way through the play date so you can check in with someone. (Worth a thought)

Thank you for the ideas. I mentioned the idea of it being my current fwb and he balked at that idea for the most part. He gets excited at the idea of me meeting someone he doesn't know and finding him so attractive that I just have to have him without telling my partner.
He may have to just deal with what I can handle for the time being as I'm not willing to put myself in any kind of physical danger. I don't have any close friends that know about my lifestyle situation so no one I can have check in with me other than him which is why he's always known where I am and who I'm with. He always tries the excuse of "what would you do if we broke up, never get fucked again?" I try to explain that would be dating someone not looking for a playdate and I'm not interested in pretending to date someone and potentially hurt that person because they don't know my situation.

I appreciate your thoughts very much. Thank you!

[oldandcucked]

If I am interested in spending some money to buy access to swinger clubs or sex clubs where I can watch hotwives have sex with lovers, what should I do?

[Wisher]

Do you call yourselves cows?


No?


Didn't think so. Then what's with all the Bull? People use Bovine nicknames for the guys, but not the women? What a load.

Seriously, I get tired of seeing all the stupid nicknames and monikers. What happened to partner? Date? Even 'friend with benefit' is decent. The rest are just degrading and insensitive. Not in a 'fun' humiliation type way, but rather an insulting, demeaning and disgraceful way.

[2inUPMichigan]

Do you call yourselves cows?


No?


Didn't think so. Then what's with all the Bull? People use Bovine nicknames for the guys, but not the women? What a load.

Seriously, I get tired of seeing all the stupid nicknames and monikers. What happened to partner? Date? Even 'friend with benefit' is decent. The rest are just degrading and insensitive. Not in a 'fun' humiliation type way, but rather an insulting, demeaning and disgraceful way.

I have always used "friends with benefits". In fact I do not tend to be a good match with any man that refers to himself as a "bull" in his profile online. After a few really bad conversations I have learned to pass by those profiles.

The bulls and cows are in the pasture down the road not in any bedroom that I will be in.

[2inUPMichigan]

If I am interested in spending some money to buy access to swinger clubs or sex clubs where I can watch hotwives have sex with lovers, what should I do?

I have never been to one personally but I do know that there are quite a few listed on the site that I am a member of (swing lifestyle). I have heard that not all of them allow men in by themselves. So you would have to read reviews about each one or contact the ones near you to find out if they have special nights when they allow in men by themselves.

Not all of the clubs or events are (sex) "on premises" events either - so you would need to look for that.

You can sign up for a free membership on SLS (swing lifestyle) and you should be able to access the listings for your state.

Hope that is helpful

[blue72]

HOTWIVES: What’s more exciting the conversation/banter or the physical act

In addition, if it’s conversation/banter. Which part excites the most.....1. Fantasizing with your husband before it happens 2. The conversation/ banter with your lover 3. describing what happened after the date with your husband

[Farmgirl]

HOTWIVES: What’s more exciting the conversation/banter or the physical act

In addition, if it’s conversation/banter. Which part excites the most.....1. Fantasizing with your husband before it happens 2. The conversation/ banter with your lover 3. describing what happened after the date with your husband

The physical act of enjoying another man and having him enthralled with my body and mind is awesome. But the lead-up to the sex and the telling of details to my Number1 is the best part.
I love the hunt, the chase, the flirting, the making a man want and desire me; the control and power I feel is addictive. All of that leads to great sex, and then comes the really great part of sharing my naughty adventures with my husband, telling him what his wife has been doing, and enjoying.

BTW, I don't fantasize by myself or with my husband. I live in reality and plan and do real things.

[mrred22]

Hotwives come in all flavors and types .
I'm not multi-orgasmic. When it comes to orgasms, I'm a one and done girl. There is soooo much to do before ever getting to an orgasm, so don't worry about just having one.
Why would you think that a woman needs to be multi-orgasmic to be a Hotwife?

Great to hear that not all hotwives are multi-orgasmic, especially when it comes from an authority like yourself! I understand that if you play solo with your lover then it doesn't matter whether you can come several times or not during a meet, but I guess what I was thinking of was the reclaim sex (or if the hubby wants to join in)- I would very much love to experience that with my wife after she has come with her lover, but I suspect that she wouldn't be in the mood for sex quite some time afterwards, given she usually feels worn out (even with lots of lube). Obviously I'd be happy to wait but just curious how other women deal with this, if at all - do you just wait to have reclaim sex, or is that not something you enjoy? Perhaps this is more of an issue for swingers than hotwives, but I would imagine there's some overlap?

Of course, I can't say how your wife will feel or want to do, but I can give an idea of what I do.
When I'm with another man, I come away sexually satisfied. I easily orgasm, and after all, I'm a one and done girl. But then, there is the part of myself being a hotwife. I know I've just done something illicit, naughty, and slutty. I've sucked, fucked, and immensely enjoyed sex with a man other than my husband. My husband knows and is excited at home waiting for my return.
All of that, sets me to wanting more, the whole naughtiness turns me on, and I want to return to share with my husband.
When I get home, I don't try to rush into "reclaim" sex and neither does my Number1, he knows me. Instead, I let myself physically rest a bit. We kiss, hug, and I show him my well-used pussy or ass. I want him to smell my cock breath, I want him to feel and examine his sexually active wife, seeing evidence of what she's been doing.
This satisfies our reconnection needs of the immediate moment. We then settle into a more normal routine, showering, bathing, eating, watching my favorite shows on TV; just relaxing at home. At times throughout my shows, I tell him bits of what I have been up to, things I or my lover said. This increases his need for me and my need for him, until near bedtime. Then I'm ready and excited to tell and show him exactly what his slutty wife had done. I'm now ready for another massive orgasm from my Number1.
Hope that helps you see how it can work for a one and done girl and her husband.

Thanks, that's beautiful. Your husband is a very lucky man!

That is incredibly hot!! I concur that your husband is a VERY LUCKY man!!

[mrred22]

What is the biggest age difference you have experienced with a bull? old vs young or young vs old? My wife's bull is 7 years younger then her and 10 younger then me. Before him, they were all older by a few to 5 years. We would like to give a 20 year younger a try. Just not sure how!! She is in her mid to late 50s. so 30something, possibly??? Not sure how we would go about this either!!

[Farmgirl]

What is the biggest age difference you have experienced with a bull? old vs young or young vs old? My wife's bull is 7 years younger then her and 10 younger then me. Before him, they were all older by a few to 5 years. We would like to give a 20 year younger a try. Just not sure how!! She is in her mid to late 50s. so 30something, possibly??? Not sure how we would go about this either!!

My first other guy was 13 years older than me. Of my current two regulars, one is 13 years younger than me, and the other ( the biggest age difference) is 40 years younger than me.
The way I go about it is just plain old flirting!

[solstice]

Farmgirl writes:
The way I go about it is just plain old flirting!
Although by now flirting must be second nature to you, over the years of you mastering that noble art, can you think of a time when you have thought "That could have gone better"

[Farmgirl]

Farmgirl writes:
The way I go about it is just plain old flirting!
Although by now flirting must be second nature to you, over the years of you mastering that noble art, can you think of a time when you have thought "That could have gone better"

Probably more often than not, it could have gone better . I flirt as a natural part of me, and I enjoy it immensely. Some men just don't know how to flirt, and those are the ones I think, Well that could have gone better.

[solstice]

Farmgirl writes:
Some men just don't know how to flirt,

If they are too thick to realise that you are flirting, and as a result miss out, that must be just deserts for them

[afagehi7]

Farmgirl writes:
The way I go about it is just plain old flirting!
Although by now flirting must be second nature to you, over the years of you mastering that noble art, can you think of a time when you have thought "That could have gone better"

Probably more often than not, it could have gone better . I flirt as a natural part of me, and I enjoy it immensely. Some men just don't know how to flirt, and those are the ones I think, Well that could have gone better.

Maybe some pointers? I'm sure everyone would appreciate it. Also, being married guys may not read that you're potentially available. I'd personally just think "oh. She's fun and flirty" but not think that there was a chance. Now, in a bar at midnight, married or not, I would likely pick up on it out of context. At the tractor dealer, not in a 1000 years unless you were pretty overt.

Oh, we'd love an update on your cub over on your thread.

[feetuji]

Girls, please, can you tell what do you think its good for seducing you? Thanks!

[Farmgirl]

Farmgirl writes:
The way I go about it is just plain old flirting!
Although by now flirting must be second nature to you, over the years of you mastering that noble art, can you think of a time when you have thought "That could have gone better"

Probably more often than not, it could have gone better . I flirt as a natural part of me, and I enjoy it immensely. Some men just don't know how to flirt, and those are the ones I think, Well that could have gone better.

Maybe some pointers? I'm sure everyone would appreciate it. Also, being married guys may not read that you're potentially available. I'd personally just think "oh. She's fun and flirty" but not think that there was a chance. Now, in a bar at midnight, married or not, I would likely pick up on it out of context. At the tractor dealer, not in a 1000 years unless you were pretty overt.

Oh, we'd love an update on your cub over on your thread.

Oh, I think you're right about "Also, being married guys may not read that you're potentially available. I'd personally just think "oh. She's fun and flirty" but not think that there was a chance."
Men aren't on average as sexual as women, and our sexuality somewhat scares them. Look at how, for centuries, men have tried to control the sexuality of women.
We flirt for a reason, it's an age-old sexual dance. The next time a woman flirts with you, she's not asking about the weather. She's seeing if she can interest you. How you respond, determines how far, if at all, she wants it to go. The key is that men have to respond, scary as it is for ya'll.

[Farmgirl]

Girls, please, can you tell what do you think its good for seducing you? Thanks!

I look for well-kept men with a sense of humor, funny, good manners. One that can have a well-rounded conversation using logic rather than emotions. Then I try to do the seducing myself.

[feetuji]

Thanks for answering.

[feetuji]

Another quick question for girls: do you like anal sex? It seems painful, thats the reason for my question. Thanks!

[LuckyVixeninSparks]

Another quick question for girls: do you like anal sex? It seems painful, thats the reason for my question. Thanks!

I do! It's only painful if not prepped well I guess. Lube, start slow. Love it

[Farmgirl]

Another quick question for girls: do you like anal sex? It seems painful, thats the reason for my question. Thanks!

Looks like LuckyVixeninSparks beat me to it, but I absolutely love anal sex! I have the most intense orgasms that way, and it became a bit of an addiction many years ago.
Like she said, It only hurts if you're not prepared.
It does take lube, but not near as much as most people say. The key is in learning to relax. When relaxed and a small dab of lube, I like taking a cock in my ass in one full stroke, mmmmm.

[feetuji]

Its hot to read that!
My wife doesnt even want to try it, only did it once with the ex but it seems that she disnt enjoy it and stopped in the first attempt.
Well, thanks for the answers once again!