Ask a Hotwife Thread, to be answered by VHWs only!

[Farmgirl]

Hotwives: which do you prefer from your cuck. Sloppy (silky) seconds or creampie cleanup?

My husband is not a cuck. I find the term derogatory.

That said, I enjoy from my husband, firsts or seconds, And I find him licking me after I've been cream-filled, a very loving bonding part for us.

[Farmgirl]

Do you consider your husband to be a cuckold? If so, do you subscribe to this site's definition of that word, namely that it implies a femdom dynamic? Or, do you call him that simply because he approves of your being with other men? Maybe I was a few seconds late with my question, since 2inUP has already answered. Farmgirl? Anyone else?

Depending on the definition, I can see him being a cuckold, especially using the old term. Using the more modern way it is used today, no he is not a cuckold.
When we are alone, I sometimes call him "my cuckold", using it as a term of endearment. In no way or fashion do I see him as a cuckold in the sense it is routinely used on this site. He is my warrior, my strength, and my Knight. As such, we do have a type of female led marriage, but it is not a femdom marriage.
Aside from him being "my cuckold", to you and others he is a Hotwife husband, not a cuckold.
That was a good question, Dzs1653. It gives us Hotwives a chance to explain how we see our husbands.

[Kate88]

Another quick question for girls: do you like anal sex? It seems painful, thats the reason for my question. Thanks!

For me, anal play can be a delight when everything is 'just right' and I've had plenty of warm up, and lots of lube. But even then I prefer a gentle finger or slim toy or plug over a cock sliding in and out back there. I've tried DP 3 times, and once was amazing, once started great, ended up rather uncomfortable, and the 3rd time was just no fun. I might try it again, might not.

When it's great, it's SUPER great. When it starts to get uncomfortable, it's done.

Same here, penetration is not pleasant.. My husband doesn't like that area so it's only my boyfriend who fingers and plays with it which I like. He also tried penetrating but we could only get his cock head inside and it's painful. His shaft gets wider after the head so thankfully he pulled it out and we haven't tried again.

[feetuji]

Another quick question for girls: do you like anal sex? It seems painful, thats the reason for my question. Thanks!

For me, anal play can be a delight when everything is 'just right' and I've had plenty of warm up, and lots of lube. But even then I prefer a gentle finger or slim toy or plug over a cock sliding in and out back there. I've tried DP 3 times, and once was amazing, once started great, ended up rather uncomfortable, and the 3rd time was just no fun. I might try it again, might not.

When it's great, it's SUPER great. When it starts to get uncomfortable, it's done.

Same here, penetration is not pleasant.. My husband doesn't like that area so it's only my boyfriend who fingers and plays with it which I like. He also tried penetrating but we could only get his cock head inside and it's painful. His shaft gets wider after the head so thankfully he pulled it out and we haven't tried again.

Hi! Thanks for your answer. Its curious to see that you dont like (its painful, and I can imagine that lol) but if its with fingers you enjoy it.

[rekro40]

1) What are the negative "what if scenarios" that made you think twice about becoming a hotwife?"
2) What did your spouse/partner said that made you feel secure and confident to become a hotwife despite the negative "what if scenarios?"

[armyguyot1]

Welcome to the forum rekro40.

[Farmgirl]

1) What are the negative "what if scenarios" that made you think twice about becoming a hotwife?"
2) What did your spouse/partner said that made you feel secure and confident to become a hotwife despite the negative "what if scenarios?"

My only real "what if's" were, What if my husband wasn't really ready. Could he really handle it?

[nick_mr]

I’ve been wanting for my wife of 30 years to be a Hotwife. I’ve mentioned several times about me wanting to see her have sex with a well hung guy who would pleasure her all night. I don’t have hard erections as earlier. Last night she said quite bluntly she didn’t marry me so that she’d have sex with another. I don’t know how to take it forward. Please help.

[Farmgirl]

I’ve been wanting for my wife of 30 years to be a Hotwife. I’ve mentioned several times about me wanting to see her have sex with a well hung guy who would pleasure her all night. I don’t have hard erections as earlier. Last night she said quite bluntly she didn’t marry me so that she’d have sex with another. I don’t know how to take it forward. Please help.

From the way you worded your post, it sounds like it's all about you. If I take it that way, maybe she does too.
How do you know she would want you to see? What if she wanted solo.
How do you know she would want a well-hung guy? What if size didn't matter to her. What if she didn't want sex all night. Are you still interested?

You could try making it interesting and fun for her, and for her marriage. None of that came across in your post, Sorry.

[Shauncuckold]

My wife agreed to a LS couples only cruise. She is open to MFM but she expressed her concern about the man's wife/gf becoming all psycho/jealous. My wife does not want to be trapped on a boat with a crazy person. Has anyone experienced a situation with a jealous spouse?

[2inUPMichigan]

Welcome to OHW Shauncuckold

I only play with men that are single or in open relationships.

Having said that it would make sense that anyone going on a LS couples only cruise is already in an open relationship of some kind.

She can meet up with the wife/gf and verify that she has given her permission for him to play to set her mind at ease.

Is your wife at all concerned about you being jealous seeing her having sex with another man? Just wondering since she is bringing up the subject of jealousy.

Most of the issues with spouses seem to come up when there is cheating involved.

[nick_mr]

I’ve been wanting for my wife of 30 years to be a Hotwife. I’ve mentioned several times about me wanting to see her have sex with a well hung guy who would pleasure her all night. I don’t have hard erections as earlier. Last night she said quite bluntly she didn’t marry me so that she’d have sex with another. I don’t know how to take it forward. Please help.

From the way you worded your post, it sounds like it's all about you. If I take it that way, maybe she does too.
How do you know she would want you to see? What if she wanted solo.
How do you know she would want a well-hung guy? What if size didn't matter to her. What if she didn't want sex all night. Are you still interested?

You could try making it interesting and fun for her, and for her marriage. None of that came across in your post, Sorry.

I am sorry if it came that way.
I am ok if I am not allowed to see . I just want her to be pleasured by another. Whether she’s with him all night or not is also fine. And it’s not that I am interested in having sex with other women.

[Farmgirl]

I’ve been wanting for my wife of 30 years to be a Hotwife. I’ve mentioned several times about me wanting to see her have sex with a well hung guy who would pleasure her all night. I don’t have hard erections as earlier. Last night she said quite bluntly she didn’t marry me so that she’d have sex with another. I don’t know how to take it forward. Please help.

From the way you worded your post, it sounds like it's all about you. If I take it that way, maybe she does too.
How do you know she would want you to see? What if she wanted solo.
How do you know she would want a well-hung guy? What if size didn't matter to her. What if she didn't want sex all night. Are you still interested?

You could try making it interesting and fun for her, and for her marriage. None of that came across in your post, Sorry.

I am sorry if it came that way.
I am ok if I am not allowed to see . I just want her to be pleasured by another. Whether she’s with him all night or not is also fine. And it’s not that I am interested in having sex with other women.

I wanted you to see how you sounded to me, and that is how you may sound to her. If so, that would be a problem with her wanting this. Something for you to consider and perhaps work on.
You say you have mentioned it to her, have you sat down and had a real honest discussion about her being a Hotwife? Why she might like it (not how you see it), and how and why you would like her to be one?
Not all wives will want this, especially if their husbands aren't able to make them feel confident and comfortable about it.
When you have the discussion, be prepared to answer any and all questions and concerns she might have. Do your homework, and be prepared. She won't feel comfortable if you're not.
This site is a wealth of information from husbands and wives that are actually living this lifestyle. Read and digest the non-fantasy posts.

We don't know enough about you or her to help more at this point.

[nick_mr]

Thanks. Will look for an opportunity to have a discussion. I really hope it works.

[Farmgirl]

Thanks. Will look for an opportunity to have a discussion. I really hope it works.

nick,

I'm saying this to you, but really I'm addressing it to all of the guys that want a Hotwife:

If you can't sit down and talk to one another and listen to one another, you already have a problem in your marriage or relationship. If you are afraid to talk about things, or she gets upset because you bring it up, there is a problem. Couples should be able to talk about anything, and you should listen to each other. You may not agree, but you should listen to each other without judgment.
If either of you can't do this, sit down and fix that first.

[crystal]

I’ve been wanting for my wife of 30 years to be a Hotwife. I’ve mentioned several times about me wanting to see her have sex with a well hung guy who would pleasure her all night. I don’t have hard erections as earlier. Last night she said quite bluntly she didn’t marry me so that she’d have sex with another. I don’t know how to take it forward. Please help.

First of all why you’re looking for hung guy, it’s not all about the size. She’s just worried about your relationship, who knows what’d be your reaction when you see your beloved one taking another man cock, you may freak out, you may get disappointed with her. It’s easier to talk or fantasize about it than make it real.

And just don’t expect any woman out there wanting to be hotwife

[confusedhubby86]

VHWs,

1. What makes you feel sexy and turned on in this process? And by process I mean, sleeping with men outside your marriage specifically for sex.
2. What can your husbands do to make you feel more desired and wanted in this process?

[marriedman50]

What do you think makes a woman likely to want to be a hotwife? Since most women don't live this lifestyle and I suspect most wouldn't necessarily want to even if they could, what if anything do those who become hotwives have in common? Or do you think most women would want to be hotwives if their husbands were willing and there wasn't any stigma about the lifestyle?

[crystal]

VHWs,

1. What makes you feel sexy and turned on in this process? And by process I mean, sleeping with men outside your marriage specifically for sex.
2. What can your husbands do to make you feel more desired and wanted in this process?

1. The thrill, the thought of it's kind of kinky; starting something new.
2. Communication, reassurance, communication.

[confusedhubby86]

VHWs,

1. What makes you feel sexy and turned on in this process? And by process I mean, sleeping with men outside your marriage specifically for sex.
2. What can your husbands do to make you feel more desired and wanted in this process?

1. The thrill, the thought of it's kind of kinky; starting something new.
2. Communication, reassurance, communication.

Thanks and in terms of communication, what exactly do you want or need?

[crystal]

Let’s be honest, more couples don’t communicate on deep level. You need to be able to communicate openly, respect your relationship, be honest why do you want this, what’s the driver. Is it beneficial for your marriage - better sex for you and her.

Show something in it for her, it’s your fantasy so you should be able to “ sell it” . If you are like “ hey sweety why don’t you go and find lover, get laid in cheap motel while I stay at home “ I bet she won’t be impressed at all cuz it’s all about you.you need to show her she’s getting more. After that you have to overcome her objectives and insecurities. Don’t take what you read on blogs, or fake topics from men all over internet how they take out the inner slut from his wife.

Remember that hotwiving is all about her is not about you. I’m not yet hotwife but that’s my perspective and am I’m pretty sure many VHW would tell you exactly this.

[HotwifeLI]

How do u deal with feelings of jealousy and betrayal? And will the wifes perspective toward you change?

[Farmgirl]

VHWs,

1. What makes you feel sexy and turned on in this process? And by process I mean, sleeping with men outside your marriage specifically for sex.
2. What can your husbands do to make you feel more desired and wanted in this process?

1. The hunt, the chase, the sheer thrill of being me and sharing it with my husband.
2. Communication, openly and honestly sharing the journey with enthusiasm. That is one of the things I love about my Number1 licking my creampie; acceptance, approval, and love all rolled into one thing with enthusiasm.

[armyguyot1]

Welcome to the forum Hotwife1.

[2inUPMichigan]

How do u deal with feelings of jealousy and betrayal? And will the wifes perspective toward you change?

I'm not sure I understand the question you want to ask.
This thread is only answered by VHW'S (verified hotwives) so you are getting the wife's perspective.

*****

I can tell you that I don't think of my hubby any differently than I did before I became a hotwife. I do however think differently about myself, that has been a major change as I see it.