Ask a Hotwife Thread, to be answered by VHWs only!

[crystal]

I’d write the same it seems that question is addressed to hubbies

[Chundu]

So my ? Is last uear me and my wife did some roll play hotwife/cuck she seems really into it n got hot when we were roll playing and then all a sudden she stoped all intrest in it amd barley wamts to have sex now amd we were havning wild sex before she says the reason os she dosnt feel sexy and attractive iv told her i was very turned on by her i kno its not my preformce bc weve been togther 10 years and always had above average sex ane advoce /thoughts?

[Farmgirl]

So my ? Is last uear me and my wife did some roll play hotwife/cuck she seems really into it n got hot when we were roll playing and then all a sudden she stoped all intrest in it amd barley wamts to have sex now amd we were havning wild sex before she says the reason os she dosnt feel sexy and attractive iv told her i was very turned on by her i kno its not my preformce bc weve been togther 10 years and always had above average sex ane advoce /thoughts?

Not something we can answer, your wife is the one to answer that question. Hopefully, ya'll do communicate, if not, work on it first.

[early-kink]

To ANY hot wife out there .......... How does one deal with a wife who refuses to communicate about the marital sex life?? This is a problem of several years duration. ZERO communication from her ............ and that's NOT an exaggeration!!

What would be your recommendation for that husband??

[2inUPMichigan]

So my ? Is last uear me and my wife did some roll play hotwife/cuck she seems really into it n got hot when we were roll playing and then all a sudden she stoped all intrest in it amd barley wamts to have sex now amd we were havning wild sex before she says the reason os she dosnt feel sexy and attractive iv told her i was very turned on by her i kno its not my preformce bc weve been togther 10 years and always had above average sex ane advoce /thoughts?

You being turned on by her has nothing to do with her feeling sexy and attractive. A woman doesn't automatically feel sexy just because a man is turned on by her, if that were the case women wouldn't get pissed off what random men catcall as they walk by on the street.
It sounds like she isn't feeling good about herself for some reason and that is translating into thoughts of her not being sexy enough or attractive enough.
So the question is, what has happened to make her feel this way and what can you do about it?
Think of ways you can make her feel sexy and attractive, and no I'm not necessarily talking about sex. This is about helping her feel attractive and sexy, because trust me if she does I think the sex will take care of itself

[feetuji]

2inUp, or any other HW, what things should a man do to make his wife feel atractive? We are in the 40s and my wife says she is old lol...no matter what I do she doesnt feel atractive in general. But she is!

[adamgunnauthor]

I do however think differently about myself

Hotwives, can you expand on 2up's statement about seeing yourselves differently? What's the difference between now and before you were a hotwife? What changes in your mental outlook toward yourself occurred?

[Farmgirl]

To ANY hot wife out there .......... How does one deal with a wife who refuses to communicate about the marital sex life?? This is a problem of several years duration. ZERO communication from her ............ and that's NOT an exaggeration!!

What would be your recommendation for that husband??

I can't really say what would work for your wife, but I can say what worked for me. Several years ago, young and dumb, I had a problem talking to my Number1 about sex. What he told me affected me, and made me look at myself.
He told me, When you won't talk to me and share with me your feelings, it hurts me. I feel unloved, not trusted, and not a real part of your life. I want to be a real part of your life, not a stranger that you are afraid to share things with. You deserve more and so do I.
When he told me that, I could see that he was hurting. It made me mad at the moment, I am ashamed now to say, but after I thought about it overnight, I realized I wouldn't want him to treat me like that. Soooo, I knew I had to change if I wanted to have a close trusting marriage. I had hurt him by being distant and not sharing my secrets with the one that was supposed to be the love of my life.

Maybe you should expose yourself to your wife and let her know how it hurts you.

[Farmgirl]

I do however think differently about myself

Hotwives, can you expand on 2up's statement about seeing yourselves differently? What's the difference between now and before you were a hotwife? What changes in your mental outlook toward yourself occurred?

Adam,
It's hard for me to put into words, and 2inUP would do a much better job.
Even though I knew what I wanted, my parents and society had taught me to suppress my urges. Women were supposed to be monogamous, be good wives. I had to bury that part of me that I now see as the real me.
But, it took a lot to make the change for me to free me, and for me to embrace the idea of me being non-monogamous. It is a whole other concept from how we are taught.

Men seem to think we can agree to become a Hotwife and if our husbands don't like it or think we like it too much, we can just go back. We can't just go back, we have fundamentally changed. We aren't who we were.
Yes, I can stop, and would if it really affected my Number1. But, I would no longer be me. I would have to kill off a vital part of me that he helped to free.
How many men want to kill a part of themselves, but yet they think we should do it so easily.

[Whosbeensleeping]

I do however think differently about myself

Hotwives, can you expand on 2up's statement about seeing yourselves differently? What's the difference between now and before you were a hotwife? What changes in your mental outlook toward yourself occurred?

Adam,
It's hard for me to put into words, and 2inUP would do a much better job.
Even though I knew what I wanted, my parents and society had taught me to suppress my urges. Women were supposed to be monogamous, be good wives. I had to bury that part of me that I now see as the real me.
But, it took a lot to make the change for me to free me, and for me to embrace the idea of me being non-monogamous. It is a whole other concept from how we are taught.

Men seem to think we can agree to become a Hotwife and if our husbands don't like it or think we like it too much, we can just go back. We can't just go back, we have fundamentally changed. We aren't who we were.
Yes, I can stop, and would if it really affected my Number1. But, I would no longer be me. I would have to kill off a vital part of me that he helped to free.
How many men want to kill a part of themselves, but yet they think we should do it so easily.

Wow, what an amazing answer! Thank you!

[uxorious]

I have a normal sized penis (my new girlfriend called it “big but not scary”) and I want her to humiliate me for it being too small. How can I introduce the concept in a not scary way? She seems generally open minded but I still want her to think of me as a man.

[crystal]

I have a normal sized penis (my new girlfriend called it “big but not scary”) and I want her to humiliate me for it being too small. How can I introduce the concept in a not scary way? She seems generally open-minded but I still want her to think of me as a man.

Why do you need to be humiliated, just asking

[uxorious]

I have a normal sized penis (my new girlfriend called it “big but not scary”) and I want her to humiliate me for it being too small. How can I introduce the concept in a not scary way? She seems generally open-minded but I still want her to think of me as a man.

Why do you need to be humiliated, just asking

It turns me on more than anything. I can’t rationally explain it. Something to do with not being good enough(?) or the female half wanting more. It feels naughty and taboo and never fails to get me off.

[2inUPMichigan]

I have a normal sized penis (my new girlfriend called it “big but not scary”) and I want her to humiliate me for it being too small. How can I introduce the concept in a not scary way? She seems generally open minded but I still want her to think of me as a man.

SPH (small penis humiliation) is a kink, nothing more or less. Plain and simple it turns you on. It has nothing to do with your masculinity or whether or not she will still see you as a man.

You explained it fairly well already to crystal so here goes:
***

"I have an unusual kink I want to tell you about and honestly I'm not sure why I it turns me on so much. It feels naughty and taboo and never fails to turn me on. I thought I should share it with you and hope that you might consider helping me fulfill my fantasies. My kink is SPH, small penis humiliation. The thought of you humiliating me for being too small gets me turned on like nothing else."

******
What do you think about that? Could you say something like that to her? Would you feel comfortable?

[uxorious]

Thanks, I guess it could be as easy as that. I’m a little nervous as I feel like it’s a lot to put out there but we’ll see if she’s receptive. I’ll try it and report back.

[2inUPMichigan]

Thanks, I guess it could be as easy as that. I’m a little nervous as I feel like it’s a lot to put out there but we’ll see if she’s receptive. I’ll try it and report back.

We all get nervous when exposing our private thoughts and hoping that the other person will embrace them.
Good luck, I'm rooting for you

[SSQ]

I have a normal sized penis (my new girlfriend called it “big but not scary”) and I want her to humiliate me for it being too small. How can I introduce the concept in a not scary way? She seems generally open-minded but I still want her to think of me as a man.

Why do you need to be humiliated, just asking

Why does that matter? It's a kink. Some people enjoy that kind of play in a safe environment. It's no different than liking anything else.

I am sure you didn't mean it in this way but asking someone why something turns them on smacks of kink-shaming to me.

[Jjhw311ohw]

I told my wife my hotwife fantasy about a year+ ago and she’s been fun/supportive and not judgemental about it, but she still doesn’t understand why the thought of her fucking another man turns me on. My question is this: succinctly, how would the VHWs explain their husbands’ hotwife fetish? Or stated differently, why do you understand it is that your husband likes this?

[Farmgirl]

I told my wife my hotwife fantasy about a year+ ago and she’s been fun/supportive and not judgemental about it, but she still doesn’t understand why the thought of her fucking another man turns me on. My question is this: succinctly, how would the VHWs explain their husbands’ hotwife fetish? Or stated differently, why do you understand it is that your husband likes this?

Everyone has some sexual kink, this is my Number1's. I don't try to understand it and have no need to. Like most things, one likes, why does someone need to understand it? It's something I benefit from greatly , and it brings a closeness to our marriage that monogamous couples almost never obtain. I get to be me, and he loves and cherishes me more for it. He gets the wife he always wanted and is shown love the way he needs.
I don't know how it could be any better for either of us.

[Jjhw311ohw]

I told my wife my hotwife fantasy about a year+ ago and she’s been fun/supportive and not judgemental about it, but she still doesn’t understand why the thought of her fucking another man turns me on. My question is this: succinctly, how would the VHWs explain their husbands’ hotwife fetish? Or stated differently, why do you understand it is that your husband likes this?

Everyone has some sexual kink, this is my Number1's. I don't try to understand it and have no need to. Like most things, one likes, why does someone need to understand it? It's something I benefit from greatly , and it brings a closeness to our marriage that monogamous couples almost never obtain. I get to be me, and he loves and cherishes me more for it. He gets the wife he always wanted and is shown love the way he needs.
I don't know how it could be any better for either of us.

Farmgirl - I honestly feel like I’m talking to a celebrity! If I had my choice between talking to you or Angelina Jolie, I’d choose you 100/100 times!

Follow up question : maybe my wife doesn’t feel the same way you do about this. I love her with all my being, so if that’s so, I have no regrets. But I do want her to understand me. In the interest of full disclosure, we just had an amazing romp with lots of great hotwife dirty talk. She’s amazing! But - is there anything I can say to help her understand? Not EVER forcing her to do ANYTHING. That’s not my MO. I do just want her to understand.

[Jjhw311ohw]

I told my wife my hotwife fantasy about a year+ ago and she’s been fun/supportive and not judgemental about it, but she still doesn’t understand why the thought of her fucking another man turns me on. My question is this: succinctly, how would the VHWs explain their husbands’ hotwife fetish? Or stated differently, why do you understand it is that your husband likes this?

Everyone has some sexual kink, this is my Number1's. I don't try to understand it and have no need to. Like most things, one likes, why does someone need to understand it? It's something I benefit from greatly , and it brings a closeness to our marriage that monogamous couples almost never obtain. I get to be me, and he loves and cherishes me more for it. He gets the wife he always wanted and is shown love the way he needs.
I don't know how it could be any better for either of us.

As I re-read what you wrote, I realize you already answered my question. If I understand you correctly, I should just enjoy the ride I’m on and not expect her to understand this. Unless I’m wrong about your point, thank you!

[Farmgirl]

I told my wife my hotwife fantasy about a year+ ago and she’s been fun/supportive and not judgemental about it, but she still doesn’t understand why the thought of her fucking another man turns me on. My question is this: succinctly, how would the VHWs explain their husbands’ hotwife fetish? Or stated differently, why do you understand it is that your husband likes this?

Everyone has some sexual kink, this is my Number1's. I don't try to understand it and have no need to. Like most things, one likes, why does someone need to understand it? It's something I benefit from greatly , and it brings a closeness to our marriage that monogamous couples almost never obtain. I get to be me, and he loves and cherishes me more for it. He gets the wife he always wanted and is shown love the way he needs.
I don't know how it could be any better for either of us.

Farmgirl - I honestly feel like I’m talking to a celebrity! If I had my choice between talking to you or Angelina Jolie, I’d choose you 100/100 times!

Follow up question : maybe my wife doesn’t feel the same way you do about this. I love her with all my being, so if that’s so, I have no regrets. But I do want her to understand me. In the interest of full disclosure, we just had an amazing romp with lots of great hotwife dirty talk. She’s amazing! But - is there anything I can say to help her understand? Not EVER forcing her to do ANYTHING. That’s not my MO. I do just want her to understand.

Thank you for the wonderful compliment!
You are right, I don't think you need to expect her to understand this, but if she wants to somewhat try to understand, read her my reply to you. Hopefully, she knows you enjoy this site, if not, now is the perfect time to introduce us to her. It will be a big benefit to her as ya'll explore together.

[feetuji]

Question: What or how would be an example of a porn/erotic movie you, lovely hotwives, would enjoy? Be specific please. Thanks!

[blackmann33]

During pillow talk last night my wife said she wants me to rape her, meaning she has a rape fantasy. I am not really into this but I am willing to go all-in for her. But I don't really understand why - Why do some women have this fantasy?

We have talked about adding a third for years and I am slowly trying to ease her into it, as it is a fantasy of mine to see her fuck another guy. Understanding her fantasy may help me get her there quicker. My apologies if this has been asked before.

[armyguyot1]

Welcome to the forum blackmann33.