Ask a Hotwife Thread, to be answered by VHWs only!

[cuckcouple7784]

My wife and I have only had one bull for over a year now and are about to add 1 possibly 2 local guys to the mix, my wife has only had one alone date while I was at work on the condition that she take pics and or video which she completely forgot about but that's another story.

She's said that she wants to have a mix of 1 on 1 dates and some with me there as she says it's easier to let go when I'm not there but she would also like me there sometimes???

I suspect that she'd prefer to have me not present on all her dates but is only including me in some of her dates because she's a good wife and a nice person, however she's mentioned that she'd love to have a dom bull and that I won't be there for those which sux but I know from other posts what the woman's common reasons are for this, she's said that his level of control would only extend to their dates but I'm thinking that once she fully submits what if she allows him to control me ie pussy free periods or condoms etc, even though she's said that won't happen it seems like it's happened in a lot of other similar situations and seeing as she doesn't yet know what it's like to fully submit should I request video or maybe eventually ask to watch just one date? Also in your opinion is it likely she will love fully submitting and it affect our dynamic not necessarily in a bad way (denial can be sexy) or am I overthinking and become a victim of my jealousy and loss of (perceived) control?

You are reading a lot into some of these posts. I do play with a dominant partner and he has absolutely no say on my life outside of our play time. A respectful experienced Dom does not need to take over and will respect any boundaries that a couple has.

The man I play with specifically asked (yes he asked) if there were any rules that HE needed to follow or be aware of. He said as long as he knew what they were he would never break them and make sure I didn't either.

Control can't be "taken" it can only be given. So if you do not give him control then he has no control, it really is that simple.
No one can force anyone to submit to them.

The threads where a "bull" takes over completely - they might be presented that way but trust me no one can take over unless you hand over permission for them to take control. When you relinquish control to someone else then of course some will take advantage and take things as far as they can. The solution? Communicate your boundaries clearly

I understand why she is talking about solo play dates as a submissive. Playing as a submissive I can get almost tunnel vision (hard to explain) anything that distracted me would interrupt that intensity and I would lose my arousal. (It has happened before) Sorry if I'm not explaining this very well.

I think her wanting to explore her sub side is an unknown for you and you are unsure on how to react. Has her sub side had an negative effect on your relationship so far? Just because she hasn't fully explored it doesn't mean it hasn't been there all along.

Trust her, communicate your concerns and screen the men well.

Thankyou for your reply!
You made some good points, so good to get a females perspective!

[rascalnvixen]

"as part of your HW life", I do want to say that as I said above, my Hotwife life is an integral part of my life, it isn't a separate part. It isn't role play or a role I put on and take off. Just as I am a woman, a wife, and a mother, I am a Hotwife. It is who I am every day, all day. Of course, I don't play every day, but I never cease being a Hotwife just as I can't cease being a woman.
Some women may role play at it taking on the role when they want and dropping it to go back to their "real" lives. I am a non-monogamous Hotwife as surely as I am a woman, it is a part of my "real" life. I made that change in myself, I am no longer a monogamous woman. I don't turn it off and have another life, it is fundamental to who I am.

I wish I could say that I understand your comments, but I guess being a man that would be impossible. But I do wish to try to understand to some degree. In being a Hotwife at your core as an integral part of your life and your image of "self", does that mean that you are continuously on the look out for a new lover? Always open to the possibility of sex with a new man that you encounter by some chance circumstances? Or, are you simply open to meeting a new lover but not necessarily looking for one and depending on your usual stable of lovers that you enjoy for your needs??

Rascal

What can I help you to understand about my comments?

I'm not continuously on the lookout for a new lover, I'm satisfied when I have a FWB or two that are regular. But, I am always open to the possibility of meeting a new man that will become a FWB
No relationship with a FWB lasts forever, the sexual side of each has a time limit for various reasons, they are not my husband or my marriage. So, yes, I'm always open to meeting someone new and developing a relationship. It takes time from the flirting to the getting to know each other, most go nowhere other than being friends and "flirt buddies".

I understand your comments, I misspoke about that. Didn't understand the meaning of those comments. Your response is clear and understood. I didn't mean to imply you were a slut (don't know if you read it that way but in reading my question again I can see how you could do that), but somehow you understood my question and answered it very well. THANKS!!!

Rascal

[anonymister1948]

Hickies? Yes, no, no way? I've always equated them to that whole ass-slapping thing. In other words only with complete consent. What say you lovely hotwives?

[2inUPMichigan]

Hickies? Yes, no, no way? I've always equated them to that whole ass-slapping thing. In other words only with complete consent. What say you lovely hotwives?

Depends on where they are

I do not like it when a man tries to give me one on a play date without checking if it is okay. I am married after all! it's disrespectful to assume it is ok.

However no hickies anywhere that could be visible publicly ever.
Other places are a possibility.

[Farmgirl]

Hickies? Yes, no, no way? I've always equated them to that whole ass-slapping thing. In other words only with complete consent. What say you lovely hotwives?

Definitely No way! We did it as teenagers, but now, it's classless.

[lifeisfun]

Greetings!

My hotwife (41 yo) is missing action badly since COVID. She had great time with 3 guys in 2019 but nothing since then unfortunately, mostly due to COVID.

She likes to find guys on her own and she goes alone on dates and their hotel rooms. She is good looking and very curvy, loves to flaunt in public as well.

She is not finding any good guys (she is bit choosy) on apps and now getting bit frustrated as she needs some good and consistent action.

Can someone give me pointers to help her out? She is using AshleyMadison, Cougarlife etc. She is also open for sugar baby stuff if guy is good. She even tried seeking.com for a bit but didnt like the guys much

[Farmgirl]

Greetings!

My hotwife (41 yo) is missing action badly since COVID. She had great time with 3 guys in 2019 but nothing since then unfortunately, mostly due to COVID.

She likes to find guys on her own and she goes alone on dates and their hotel rooms. She is good looking and very curvy, loves to flaunt in public as well.

She is not finding any good guys (she is bit choosy) on apps and now getting bit frustrated as she needs some good and consistent action.

Can someone give me pointers to help her out? She is using AshleyMadison, Cougarlife etc. She is also open for sugar baby stuff if guy is good. She even tried seeking.com for a bit but didnt like the guys much

I have no experience in looking online. I do my hunting in person the age-old way of smiling, making eye contact, and flirting.

[2inUPMichigan]

Greetings!

My hotwife (41 yo) is missing action badly since COVID. She had great time with 3 guys in 2019 but nothing since then unfortunately, mostly due to COVID.

She likes to find guys on her own and she goes alone on dates and their hotel rooms. She is good looking and very curvy, loves to flaunt in public as well.

She is not finding any good guys (she is bit choosy) on apps and now getting bit frustrated as she needs some good and consistent action.

Can someone give me pointers to help her out? She is using AshleyMadison, Cougarlife etc. She is also open for sugar baby stuff if guy is good. She even tried seeking.com for a bit but didnt like the guys much

Has she tried SLS (swing lifestyle)? There a lot of men on there so the chances of finding compatible men for play dates are pretty good as long as you screen well.

[lifeisfun]

Greetings!

My hotwife (41 yo) is missing action badly since COVID. She had great time with 3 guys in 2019 but nothing since then unfortunately, mostly due to COVID.

She likes to find guys on her own and she goes alone on dates and their hotel rooms. She is good looking and very curvy, loves to flaunt in public as well.

She is not finding any good guys (she is bit choosy) on apps and now getting bit frustrated as she needs some good and consistent action.

Can someone give me pointers to help her out? She is using AshleyMadison, Cougarlife etc. She is also open for sugar baby stuff if guy is good. She even tried seeking.com for a bit but didnt like the guys much

I have no experience in looking online. I do my hunting in person the age-old way of smiling, making eye contact, and flirting.

That’s great! Any particular places you go to for attracting these new guys? Also, how does the guy know that you are a hotwife? My wife would like to get guys that way... may need some practice though

[lifeisfun]

Greetings!

My hotwife (41 yo) is missing action badly since COVID. She had great time with 3 guys in 2019 but nothing since then unfortunately, mostly due to COVID.

She likes to find guys on her own and she goes alone on dates and their hotel rooms. She is good looking and very curvy, loves to flaunt in public as well.

She is not finding any good guys (she is bit choosy) on apps and now getting bit frustrated as she needs some good and consistent action.

Can someone give me pointers to help her out? She is using AshleyMadison, Cougarlife etc. She is also open for sugar baby stuff if guy is good. She even tried seeking.com for a bit but didnt like the guys much

Has she tried SLS (swing lifestyle)? There a lot of men on there so the chances of finding compatible men for play dates are pretty good as long as you screen well.

Will ask her to try SLS ... would u suggest paid membership for her? Thanks!

[2inUPMichigan]

Greetings!

My hotwife (41 yo) is missing action badly since COVID. She had great time with 3 guys in 2019 but nothing since then unfortunately, mostly due to COVID.

She likes to find guys on her own and she goes alone on dates and their hotel rooms. She is good looking and very curvy, loves to flaunt in public as well.

She is not finding any good guys (she is bit choosy) on apps and now getting bit frustrated as she needs some good and consistent action.

Can someone give me pointers to help her out? She is using AshleyMadison, Cougarlife etc. She is also open for sugar baby stuff if guy is good. She even tried seeking.com for a bit but didnt like the guys much

Has she tried SLS (swing lifestyle)? There a lot of men on there so the chances of finding compatible men for play dates are pretty good as long as you screen well.

Will ask her to try SLS ... would u suggest paid membership for her? Thanks!

I started with a free membership just to get a feel for the site but you are restricted on what you can do with a free membership. I upgraded to paid as soon as we decided to actively look and within a month I was an official hotwife. A couple months after that I had a regular consistent FWB.
There are different levels of paid membership too. I started with a 3 month but soon just got the lifetime membership as for me it was worth it.
Hope it works out for her too!

[lifeisfun]

Greetings!

My hotwife (41 yo) is missing action badly since COVID. She had great time with 3 guys in 2019 but nothing since then unfortunately, mostly due to COVID.

She likes to find guys on her own and she goes alone on dates and their hotel rooms. She is good looking and very curvy, loves to flaunt in public as well.

She is not finding any good guys (she is bit choosy) on apps and now getting bit frustrated as she needs some good and consistent action.

Can someone give me pointers to help her out? She is using AshleyMadison, Cougarlife etc. She is also open for sugar baby stuff if guy is good. She even tried seeking.com for a bit but didnt like the guys much

Has she tried SLS (swing lifestyle)? There a lot of men on there so the chances of finding compatible men for play dates are pretty good as long as you screen well.

Will ask her to try SLS ... would u suggest paid membership for her? Thanks!

I started with a free membership just to get a feel for the site but you are restricted on what you can do with a free membership. I upgraded to paid as soon as we decided to actively look and within a month I was an official hotwife. A couple months after that I had a regular consistent FWB.
There are different levels of paid membership too. I started with a 3 month but soon just got the lifetime membership as for me it was worth it.
Hope it works out for her too!

Great advice, thanks! I always felt that these apps/websites keep their best only for paid members and their free tiers are almost always useless. My wife had 3 dates over Ashley Madison (free) but then it stopped working for her. Same with seeking.com for her SB attempts

[feetuji]

Quick question for hotwives: do you have any fetish or kink?

[2inUPMichigan]

Quick question for hotwives: do you have any fetish or kink?

Do I have a fetish or kink?

I am definitely not vanilla but one of my favorites is spanking!
I have had bare handed spankings, flogger, crop, paddle, whip and dragons tail. Oops almost forgot the dreaded ruler (yuck).

Do I have a kink? Who me? You bet I do and that's just one

[crystal]

Quick question for hotwives: do you have any fetish or kink?

I call it fantasy, it would never happen

I often pictured myself in a room with a large group of men - ten or more waiting their turn to fuck me. This is my favorite fantasy actually the idea of so many men standing in line, stroking their hard cocks, me on bed, legs open, taking as many of them as I could

[Dzs1653]

I know that some of you prefer to see other men solo. And perhaps may sometimes have your husband watch or participate as a treat to him. But my question is, do any of you get an additional charge yourself out of your husband seeing you with another man? Or perhaps, from sharing details? Not just the fucking, of course, but, perhaps especially, all the preliminaries?

[Farmgirl]

Greetings!

My hotwife (41 yo) is missing action badly since COVID. She had great time with 3 guys in 2019 but nothing since then unfortunately, mostly due to COVID.

She likes to find guys on her own and she goes alone on dates and their hotel rooms. She is good looking and very curvy, loves to flaunt in public as well.

She is not finding any good guys (she is bit choosy) on apps and now getting bit frustrated as she needs some good and consistent action.

Can someone give me pointers to help her out? She is using AshleyMadison, Cougarlife etc. She is also open for sugar baby stuff if guy is good. She even tried seeking.com for a bit but didnt like the guys much

I have no experience in looking online. I do my hunting in person the age-old way of smiling, making eye contact, and flirting.

That’s great! Any particular places you go to for attracting these new guys? Also, how does the guy know that you are a hotwife? My wife would like to get guys that way... may need some practice though

Men are every where I go. Ballfields, parks, community events, Home Depot, parts stores, farm and feed stores, grocery stores, Walmart ( though I stopped doing business with Walmart). Whenever I am out and about, I stay aware of men and ready to smile and flirt.
It really is as simple as making eye contact, smile, flirt. Not every encounter results in meeting a potential lover, but it's all fun.

[Farmgirl]

I know that some of you prefer to see other men solo. And perhaps may sometimes have your husband watch or participate as a treat to him. But my question is, do any of you get an additional charge yourself out of your husband seeing you with another man? Or perhaps, from sharing details? Not just the fucking, of course, but, perhaps especially, all the preliminaries?

In many ways, the sharing of the details with my Number1 far surpasses the sex with others. I enjoy the sex, the fucking, and being fucked. But the best part is the sharing of it with my husband, seeing how turned on I have made him! That in turn, turns me on even more. I am very aware that I get my cake and get to eat it too .

[Farmgirl]

Quick question for hotwives: do you have any fetish or kink?

I don't have a fetish, I am though, kinky in many ways to some people. To others, I'm probably vanilla with sprinkles .

[feetuji]

Thanks all of you for answering

[solstice]

Farmgirl writes: It really is as simple as making eye contact, smile, flirt.

I know that southern people have the reputation for being friendly: Do you often get a confused reactions from men,..... Do I know her? why is this attractive woman smiling at me?

[lifeisfun]

Greetings!

My hotwife (41 yo) is missing action badly since COVID. She had great time with 3 guys in 2019 but nothing since then unfortunately, mostly due to COVID.

She likes to find guys on her own and she goes alone on dates and their hotel rooms. She is good looking and very curvy, loves to flaunt in public as well.

She is not finding any good guys (she is bit choosy) on apps and now getting bit frustrated as she needs some good and consistent action.

Can someone give me pointers to help her out? She is using AshleyMadison, Cougarlife etc. She is also open for sugar baby stuff if guy is good. She even tried seeking.com for a bit but didnt like the guys much

I have no experience in looking online. I do my hunting in person the age-old way of smiling, making eye contact, and flirting.

That’s great! Any particular places you go to for attracting these new guys? Also, how does the guy know that you are a hotwife? My wife would like to get guys that way... may need some practice though

Men are every where I go. Ballfields, parks, community events, Home Depot, parts stores, farm and feed stores, grocery stores, Walmart ( though I stopped doing business with Walmart). Whenever I am out and about, I stay aware of men and ready to smile and flirt.
It really is as simple as making eye contact, smile, flirt. Not every encounter results in meeting a potential lover, but it's all fun.

That's great, my wife says people are bit skeptical to make approach to married women or they just dont want to risk. She's considering going out without ring and with anklets ... may eb that will work. We'll see. Thanks for your comments!

[long4her]

Dear hotwives, before you married him, did you have a sense that your husband had this desire? Did it kind of freak you out when he first brought it up to you? Thanks!

[Farmgirl]

Dear hotwives, before you married him, did you have a sense that your husband had this desire? Did it kind of freak you out when he first brought it up to you? Thanks!

No, it didn't freak me out when he brought it up. I had already surmised that he wanted to share me. Once he was ready to admit it to himself, and to me, I was ready.

[Mrs L 88]

Dear hotwives, before you married him, did you have a sense that your husband had this desire? Did it kind of freak you out when he first brought it up to you? Thanks!

I wouldn't say freaked me out but wasn't really expecting it either. After discussion and my own research it made things clearer and decided to try out the lifestyle. We are now on our way to making me an official hotwife, if all goes well and to plan