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by cum4me2 » Tue Feb 23, 2010 6:44 am
Chiming in now that I'm sort of back?! I think hubby is doing the correct thing by being supportive and not trying to hard to influence her either way. It ultimately will have to be something Jane has to work through and hopefully come out the other end with a better sense of "whole" self. The wife, mother, lover, hotwife, good girl and spiritual and who you are as a person for and of yourself.
It's an ongoing battle to reconcile all the aspects of who we are and how were suppose to be. We all struggle from time to time with this issue from a social, moral or cultural perspective. That some of the things that make us happy and who we are as a person seem in direct conflict to who or what were percieved as being by others. ie a married women that takes other lovers, a business exce. that enjoys wearing panties.. We are so used to being judged that we begin to judge ourselves rather than accepting, embracing and loving all that we are. The good wife, a doting mother, a faith driven soul, a devoted daughter, a dedicated friend and insatiable lover and Hotwife rolled up into one terrific if not conflicted person...ok. We all are, that not always bad. It gives us a measure of interspection that cleansing sometimes.
At some point we "find ourselves".... I always hated that term but as I get older, hopefully somewhat wiser I've come to understand it. We discover who we are, sadly most people on a core level don't have a clue. They believe only what they've been told, taught or labeled at home, school or church and that suffices for a while until something challenges those beliefs good or bad. My wife still struggles with negetive self images to this day regardless what how she is as a person, which flies in the face of what she believes. But because it's so strongly held it's hard to break from that kind of stinking thinking no matter how good or kind or loving she really is. In the end there's only two roads a person can take with this struggle. 1, is to keep on believing it and live your life with fractured or splintered happiness. 2, discover all of you that you are the good and the bad, the flaws and the shortcomings and also the wonderful and limitness person that you are. Now strive to understand and accept all those things that coexist together inside of you and relish each of those moments for all that they are, part of who You are.
As to when a person or couple comes into this, everyone is different. Depending on their sexual comfort level and life circumstance it can be early on, in the later years, somewhere in the middle or not at all. To think that a couple is more secure and better able to handle the issues that can arise from this when they're more settled or when they are empty nesters or have 20 years under their belts is not always true. Young people experiment sexually too, they know what interest them, what works for them. Communication no matter what age is the key. For both husband and wife to be on the same page, neither pushing the other into something they don't want or aren't emotionally ready for. What does age have to do with that? Having that kind of commitment and trust in one another comes mainly from love not a certain amount of years married.
As her interest in a new guy rises so do I begin to rise...
In case anyone is wondering my new avatar is the Chinese symbol for desire, longing and craving.
I thought it appropriate given the subject in hand...
