Not sure if I'm in the right place..

[Long Lurker 34]

MLO
- Would it be fair to say L is looking for a "emotional connection",though emphasizing the physical side of sex, but doesn't want things to slide into a GF/BF sort of arrangement?

I would say L definitely needs a connection. I wouldn't necessarily describe it as 'emotional' per se, however I suppose you might be able to characterise all connections as emotional to one degree or another.

From what I've gathered from our conversations over the last few days, she is looking for some fun. Nothing long-term, and certainly not someone that could be described as a BF. She isn't going to be deep diving into her feelings like she did with Pierre. Famous last words?

She seems to have a bit of a roster going at the moment, so she has put her active profile on pause while she sorts out which of these guys she will be going forward with. I suspect she will at least go on dates with a couple of them. They range from deeper more intellectual, to light and flirty. So I think she is keeping her options open on what she really wants at this stage.

I think she has 2 dates lined up currently, with 1 more on the horizon.

Guy # 1 - coffee on Sunday
Guy # 2 - ice cream on Tuesday evening
Guy # 3 - currently away, back next week. Date to be confirmed.

Anyone want to take bets on how long it takes her to jump into bed with someone?
I would generally say it's unlikely she will at all, but I'm surprised by how quickly she's taken this up and how open she is to even meeting up with anyone. I'm not sure exactly what's changed, but something sure has.

MLO
- It's interesting that these are public vanilla dates. Will these be in your area or somewhat removed? And I get the 'feeling out'/ vetting date before committing to something more. I find these intriguing.

[MonaLisaOverdrive]

MLO
- It's interesting that these are public vanilla dates. Will these be in your area or somewhat removed? And I get the 'feeling out'/ vetting date before committing to something more. I find these intriguing.

They are a little removed from where we live, so we're not worried about her being seen by someone we know.

Yeah, the feeling out is obviously important, 99% of hotwives will do it to one degree or another. For L it's important the guy is willing to put in effort. She wants the guy to be interested in her as a person, not to be seen as a sex object. We've had a good chat last night and this is about a bit more than just sex for her, it's a growth and development exercise for her. Sex is the added bonus. L said last time she was very focused on the guy, this time her focus is all about herself. I think that's a more healthy way to approach hotwifing.

[Long Lurker 34]

MLO
- It's interesting that these are public vanilla dates. Will these be in your area or somewhat removed? And I get the 'feeling out'/ vetting date before committing to something more. I find these intriguing.

They are a little removed from where we live, so we're not worried about her being seen by someone we know.

Yeah, the feeling out is obviously important, 99% of hotwives will do it to one degree or another. For L it's important the guy is willing to put in effort. She wants the guy to be interested in her as a person, not to be seen as a sex object. We've had a good chat last night and this is about a bit more than just sex for her, it's a growth and development exercise for her. Sex is the added bonus. L said last time she was very focused on the guy, this time her focus is all about herself. I think that's a more healthy way to approach hotwifing.

MLO
- So do you anticipate that L will want to continue having vanilla dates as a component of her HWing?
- Even if any one guy or it's more than one that become 'steadys' as it were without them being classified as BF's?
- Do you think the vanilla part might go beyond coffee and dinner dates to other activities (I'm thinking of the 'growth' part) for instance, gym, hiking, biking, theater, dance etc.?

[MonaLisaOverdrive]

MLO
- So do you anticipate that L will want to continue having vanilla dates as a component of her HWing?
- Even if any one guy or it's more than one that become 'steadys' as it were without them being classified as BF's?
- Do you think the vanilla part might go beyond coffee and dinner dates to other activities (I'm thinking of the 'growth' part) for instance, gym, hiking, biking, theater, dance etc.?

Yes, I think vanilla dates will probably be a big component of her dating strategy this time around. One her complaints about the last time we tried this was that she ended up feeling used. Although she acknowledged this wasn't entirely reasonable, as she was also after sex, I just think Pierre was entirely too sex focused. But that isn't the way she wants to approach being a hotwife this time around.

I think she will be keeping more than 1 guy in the roster where possible. She mentioned that she believes this will help prevent her getting too deep into her feelings with any one guy. So yes, she is trying to avoid accidentally falling into a bf/gf relationship.

I do believe that she will be doing more than just sex with these guys, one is a personal trainer, another is a tennis coach. So I anticipate there will be more vanilla activities with at least some of them. That's how she likes to connect with men and I think that's fine. If she can develop more healthy friendships with these guys then that will help her relax in the bedroom with them. I don't see it as a threat to our relationship at all and am happy for her if she can find a balance between sex and friendship that makes the whole experience, inside and outside the bedroom, more enjoyable.

We've also decided on a time to tell the guys about her marriage status. Firstly, she will be clear that she is looking for 'intimacy without commitment,' then if the first date goes well and they decide to continue to see each other, that's when she will let them know. Some guys will be ok with it, and others won't, I suspect. But that feels like the right time to allow them to decide if they want to continue, that way we can avoid men feeling like she has misled them or wasted their time.

L has just left for her first date about an hour ago. She's probably ordering a coffee right now. She looked amazing when she left. A great balance between comfort and being sexy. She wore a light mid-thigh length dress with a thong, not something she typically chooses to wear

[MonaLisaOverdrive]

Looks like all bets are off, L fucked the tennis coach.

So much for a coffee date lol

[iluvmyhw]

awesome please tell us how good it was to reclaim her

[Long Lurker 34]

MLO
- So do you anticipate that L will want to continue having vanilla dates as a component of her HWing?
- Even if any one guy or it's more than one that become 'steadys' as it were without them being classified as BF's?
- Do you think the vanilla part might go beyond coffee and dinner dates to other activities (I'm thinking of the 'growth' part) for instance, gym, hiking, biking, theater, dance etc.?

Yes, I think vanilla dates will probably be a big component of her dating strategy this time around. One her complaints about the last time we tried this was that she ended up feeling used. Although she acknowledged this wasn't entirely reasonable, as she was also after sex, I just think Pierre was entirely too sex focused. But that isn't the way she wants to approach being a hotwife this time around.

I think she will be keeping more than 1 guy in the roster where possible. She mentioned that she believes this will help prevent her getting too deep into her feelings with any one guy. So yes, she is trying to avoid accidentally falling into a bf/gf relationship.

I do believe that she will be doing more than just sex with these guys, one is a personal trainer, another is a tennis coach. So I anticipate there will be more vanilla activities with at least some of them. That's how she likes to connect with men and I think that's fine. If she can develop more healthy friendships with these guys then that will help her relax in the bedroom with them. I don't see it as a threat to our relationship at all and am happy for her if she can find a balance between sex and friendship that makes the whole experience, inside and outside the bedroom, more enjoyable.

We've also decided on a time to tell the guys about her marriage status. Firstly, she will be clear that she is looking for 'intimacy without commitment,' then if the first date goes well and they decide to continue to see each other, that's when she will let them know. Some guys will be ok with it, and others won't, I suspect. But that feels like the right time to allow them to decide if they want to continue, that way we can avoid men feeling like she has misled them or wasted their time.

L has just left for her first date about an hour ago. She's probably ordering a coffee right now. She looked amazing when she left. A great balance between comfort and being sexy. She wore a light mid-thigh length dress with a thong, not something she typically chooses to wear

MLO
- Apparently L had dessert first.
- So I get the impression she is going for several FWB's, hoping to balance the vanilla with the benefits.
- Her 'status'. Does she not wear her wedding ring? And or does she still go by her maiden name?
- For many that's normal attire. For L more like setting a tone or mood. Perhaps if she wore thongs regularly she might find herself giving of 'vibes' and getting hit on 'in the wild.'