Figuring it out

[shadowtantra]

Thank you for taking the time to do a second write up - I echo coastal kids post and it sounds like an incredibly sensual and erotic experience!

[sandy691196]

Thanks for answering, I apologize for not checking back through the thread. G obviously being your first and being so compatible with him has to make the fun with him all the better. You must have a great sense of relief resuming your fun with him. Can you tell me what it means when you say G moved to boyfriend status? It kind of infers there's some sort of probationary status but that's just me.

I know I don't run in the right circles but I've never met or been told by friends about any swinger/hot wife/lifestyle people/couples. I sure would like to, just to talk at least. Do you have any leads/ideas about how to meet "non-vanilla" couples? I suppose some kind of personals from a website would be my first guess.

I just realized that I forgot to respond to this. "Boyfriend status" just meant that we recognized there was a level of feelings involved in our relationship and we acknowledged that. There wasn't a probationary status before, but I think that my initial thought was that I wanted to find a friend with benefits. I knew that I'd need some level of relationship with someone in order to have sex with them, but I expected it to be friendly rather than romantic. The boyfriend/girlfriend conversation was an acknowledgement that we were more than "just friends." But the love I feel for G is also different than my love for my husband. I guess it is complicated.

As for meeting non-vanilla couples, we are thinking about joining an online community where we can chat with folks online. We might also go to a resort (Hedonism, Desire, etc) or some sort of lifestyle event where we can mingle and chat. I'm not sure that we'd play with folks right away, but a vacation kind of experience would give us time to get to know folks first. We will see what 2025 holds

Your writing is very organized and your thoughts are very well sorted out.
But is the reality about your feelings for these 2 men so clear and sharp for you? Or is it the after-narration?
Are you in, or headed for, a poly situation? You love both men right?
I somehow haven't kept up with G's relationship status. Does he have an SO now? Is there a relationship matrix involved here?

Does A dig the "risk" in a poly situation? Does that "losing you" angle turn him on? Has the emotional risk of a poly situation ever cropped up in your discussions with A?
Has it ever entered your idle speculative thoughts, what G would have been like as a primary partner?

Have you ever thought of a one on one weekend away with G?

Thanks.

[Lookingforadventure]

Your writing is very organized and your thoughts are very well sorted out.
But is the reality about your feelings for these 2 men so clear and sharp for you? Or is it the after-narration?
Are you in, or headed for, a poly situation? You love both men right?
I somehow haven't kept up with G's relationship status. Does he have an SO now? Is there a relationship matrix involved here?

Does A dig the "risk" in a poly situation? Does that "losing you" angle turn him on? Has the emotional risk of a poly situation ever cropped up in your discussions with A?
Has it ever entered your idle speculative thoughts, what G would have been like as a primary partner?

Have you ever thought of a one on one weekend away with G?

Thanks.

I'm very clear in my feelings for both men. Adventurer is my person. He's know me for 25+ years, and has been with me in the good and bad. If I have great news, or a bad day, he's the one I call first. And if I had to choose only one person to ever have sex with again, it would always be him. He's the love of my life and my partner. Full stop. End of story.

G is different. He isn't looking for me to be his life partner, nor do I want that from him. I do love him though. Just in a different way. Like a very good, romantic friend.

Does that help?

[Seekingmore12]

Chime in….this relationship is all about respect and at least for me to witness the love they share…it is remarkable and unmistakable

G

[venus-can99]

LFA and G you both express your feelings of love and mutual respect for Adventurer that it is very inspiring.

[coastalkid]

Because of Adventurer you had a special opportunity that many women don't get to find someone like G. You know that old saying, "Behind every successful man is woman that helped him get there." Well, it sure seems that behind every successful hot wife is a husband that helped her get there. There's a lot of talk about one partner having complete and uncontested sexual authority. I just don't see that resulting in a great experience for everyone. If both people don't get a significant benefit then it's a failed attempt. Doesn't the whole, "I'm happy just seeing her happy" cut both ways?

[sandy691196]

Your writing is very organized and your thoughts are very well sorted out.
But is the reality about your feelings for these 2 men so clear and sharp for you? Or is it the after-narration?
Are you in, or headed for, a poly situation? You love both men right?
I somehow haven't kept up with G's relationship status. Does he have an SO now? Is there a relationship matrix involved here?

Does A dig the "risk" in a poly situation? Does that "losing you" angle turn him on? Has the emotional risk of a poly situation ever cropped up in your discussions with A?
Has it ever entered your idle speculative thoughts, what G would have been like as a primary partner?

Have you ever thought of a one on one weekend away with G?

Thanks.

I'm very clear in my feelings for both men. Adventurer is my person. He's know me for 25+ years, and has been with me in the good and bad. If I have great news, or a bad day, he's the one I call first. And if I had to choose only one person to ever have sex with again, it would always be him. He's the love of my life and my partner. Full stop. End of story.

G is different. He isn't looking for me to be his life partner, nor do I want that from him. I do love him though. Just in a different way. Like a very good, romantic friend.

Does that help?

Sounds great as I read it. We humans try to understand things through our own experiences. So I try to feel what you people feel. I try to compare it with what I have experienced in steady "loving" relationship(s) outside marriage.

Maybe I get it intellectually. But I struggle to "feel" it. Perhaps because my primary relationship-my marriage- has been so painful. So full of anger and resentment over the years. So much about clinging on due to iron clad promises and commitments made in late teens. And the commitment to kid(s)..
Funnily my other extra marital long term relationship(s) haven't been too great either! One 8 years the other 7 years. Well there were substantive issues coming in the way of course. But still...

But it's fascinating to read your stuff. Maybe in my next lifetime?
All the best.

[sandy691196]

Chime in….this relationship is all about respect and at least for me to witness the love they share…it is remarkable and unmistakable

G

Do you have an SO / Steady Partner in your own life? Do you have someone's arms to go back to?

[Seekingmore12]

This thread is lfa’s and adventurer’s….while I certainly play a role here, don’t comment on my life outside of this.

As they say…back to our regular scheduled programming…

G

[sandy691196]

Hmmm.. well..

[Lookingforadventure]

Sounds great as I read it. We humans try to understand things through our own experiences. So I try to feel what you people feel. I try to compare it with what I have experienced in steady "loving" relationship(s) outside marriage.

Maybe I get it intellectually. But I struggle to "feel" it. Perhaps because my primary relationship-my marriage- has been so painful. So full of anger and resentment over the years. So much about clinging on due to iron clad promises and commitments made in late teens. And the commitment to kid(s)..
Funnily my other extra marital long term relationship(s) haven't been too great either! One 8 years the other 7 years. Well there were substantive issues coming in the way of course. But still...

But it's fascinating to read your stuff. Maybe in my next lifetime?
All the best.

I'm sorry that you have experienced such pain in your previous relationships. That is hard. I definitely know that Adventurer and I are blessed to have found each other. I try never to take that for granted.

As for understanding it or "feeling it", maybe you don't have to. I think that every relationship is different, and people find what works for them. I suspect that what A, G, and I share isn't for everyone. It works for us, but other people prefer more anonymous hook-ups or one night stands. It is the same with A and I, when we explore kink. We dabble in the things that we are curious about, or that we know we enjoy. I don't expect everyone else to like the same things. Some of it might not even be sexy to some people. Oh well. It isn't their life. When they decide to explore whatever they are into, I won't judge them either.

Here's hoping that your next relationship is one that is a perfect match for you!

[Lookingforadventure]

Because of Adventurer you had a special opportunity that many women don't get to find someone like G. You know that old saying, "Behind every successful man is woman that helped him get there." Well, it sure seems that behind every successful hot wife is a husband that helped her get there. There's a lot of talk about one partner having complete and uncontested sexual authority. I just don't see that resulting in a great experience for everyone. If both people don't get a significant benefit then it's a failed attempt. Doesn't the whole, "I'm happy just seeing her happy" cut both ways?

I agree 100%. I am very blessed to have a husband like Adventurer, and there is no way that I would be where I am today if he weren't in my life (and that is true in more than just sex). I frequently think about all of the things that we have tried in our sex play. I know that he was the driver in most of them. It just wouldn't have occurred to me to even think about them. I sometimes feel bad that he doesn't have a partner who is more kinky and inspire him to try new things the way he inspires me. But every time I mention it, he says I'm perfect

And yes, this hot wife thing only works if he is getting something out of it too. That's why we took a break when he needed one.

[coastalkid]

Because of Adventurer you had a special opportunity that many women don't get to find someone like G. You know that old saying, "Behind every successful man is woman that helped him get there." Well, it sure seems that behind every successful hot wife is a husband that helped her get there. There's a lot of talk about one partner having complete and uncontested sexual authority. I just don't see that resulting in a great experience for everyone. If both people don't get a significant benefit then it's a failed attempt. Doesn't the whole, "I'm happy just seeing her happy" cut both ways?

I agree 100%. I am very blessed to have a husband like Adventurer, and there is no way that I would be where I am today if he weren't in my life (and that is true in more than just sex). I frequently think about all of the things that we have tried in our sex play. I know that he was the driver in most of them. It just wouldn't have occurred to me to even think about them. I sometimes feel bad that he doesn't have a partner who is more kinky and inspire him to try new things the way he inspires me. But every time I mention it, he says I'm perfect

And yes, this hot wife thing only works if he is getting something out of it too. That's why we took a break when he needed one.

[sandy691196]

Sounds great as I read it. We humans try to understand things through our own experiences. So I try to feel what you people feel. I try to compare it with what I have experienced in steady "loving" relationship(s) outside marriage.

Maybe I get it intellectually. But I struggle to "feel" it. Perhaps because my primary relationship-my marriage- has been so painful. So full of anger and resentment over the years. So much about clinging on due to iron clad promises and commitments made in late teens. And the commitment to kid(s)..
Funnily my other extra marital long term relationship(s) haven't been too great either! One 8 years the other 7 years. Well there were substantive issues coming in the way of course. But still...

But it's fascinating to read your stuff. Maybe in my next lifetime?
All the best.

I'm sorry that you have experienced such pain in your previous relationships. That is hard. I definitely know that Adventurer and I are blessed to have found each other. I try never to take that for granted.

As for understanding it or "feeling it", maybe you don't have to. I think that every relationship is different, and people find what works for them. I suspect that what A, G, and I share isn't for everyone. It works for us, but other people prefer more anonymous hook-ups or one night stands. It is the same with A and I, when we explore kink. We dabble in the things that we are curious about, or that we know we enjoy. I don't expect everyone else to like the same things. Some of it might not even be sexy to some people. Oh well. It isn't their life. When they decide to explore whatever they are into, I won't judge them either.

Here's hoping that your next relationship is one that is a perfect match for you!

1. There will be no more "next relationship" for me in this lifetime. My time is up- I know. Now it's only memories and inane and unproductive "analysis" of stuff I see around and of my past- what was and what could have been!

2. I once played with a cuck couple (before I knew it was such a big LS).. Started well. The girl grew spoony with me.. romantic.. "love"ish.. Guy felt neglected. Broke off. They relocated. She contacted me. I went down to meet. He was not in town. She and I even did orgies as a couple. He found out. There was hell to pay. She parted tearfully. I didn't love her. But I could have done without the mess.

All the best for you 3.

[Lookingforadventure]

I saw G twice this week!! Before anyone wonders if that is too much, I can happily report that yesterday's visit was Adventurer's idea.

Unfortunately, both visits were in public, so they involved lots of kissing and some car seat shenanigans, but not what I truly desire

[Long Lurker 34]

I saw G twice this week!! Before anyone wonders if that is too much, I can happily report that yesterday's visit was Adventurer's idea.

Unfortunately, both visits were in public, so they involved lots of kissing and some car seat shenanigans, but not what I truly desire

LFA
- Oh I sense a slow building, panty dampening, mind bending frustrating nipple hardening explosion of lust coming next you manage to throw G down on a bed, ripping his pants down whilst flipping up your skirts.

[sandy691196]

I saw G twice this week!! Before anyone wonders if that is too much, I can happily report that yesterday's visit was Adventurer's idea.

Unfortunately, both visits were in public, so they involved lots of kissing and some car seat shenanigans, but not what I truly desire

Why would anyone wonder if twice a week is too much? He is your steady BF since long.. You 2 should take a vacation sometime!
Have you come across this thread- "A night of adventure and trust"?

[Her number1]

I saw G twice this week!! Before anyone wonders if that is too much, I can happily report that yesterday's visit was Adventurer's idea.

Unfortunately, both visits were in public, so they involved lots of kissing and some car seat shenanigans, but not what I truly desire

Love it!
Even if it wasn't 'everything' you wanted.

[Lookingforadventure]

LFA
- Oh I sense a slow building, panty dampening, mind bending frustrating nipple hardening explosion of lust coming next you manage to throw G down on a bed, ripping his pants down whilst flipping up your skirts.

Lol. Sounds pretty accurate to how I'm thinking about it.

[Lookingforadventure]

Why would anyone wonder if twice a week is too much? He is your steady BF since long..

I think I tend to worry what people will think. It is something I need to work on. Plus, I think some folks here genuinely care about Adventurer and I. Since we has a break recently, I thought they might want reassurance that this is something we both were excited about. (Well all 3 actually).

[Lookingforadventure]

Love it!
Even if it wasn't 'everything' you wanted.

I loved it too....trust me

[sandy691196]

Why would anyone wonder if twice a week is too much? He is your steady BF since long..

I think I tend to worry what people will think. It is something I need to work on. Plus, I think some folks here genuinely care about Adventurer and I. Since we has a break recently, I thought they might want reassurance that this is something we both were excited about. (Well all 3 actually).

Break from LS or playing around I understand.
But break from BF?

[vicg]

Plus, I think some folks here genuinely care about Adventurer and I.

We definitely do! A lot of us here grow very fond of those whose stories we read, and you can see it when posters suddenly stop posting (which happens all too often) leading us to think the “playing with fire” of this lifestyle genuinely burned them, or when people decide to quit the lifestyle or take a break and followers ask them to drop us a line periodically even if there’s nothing sexy to report. We definitely wish you all the best!

[Late]

by vicg » Tue Dec 24, 2024 2:25 am

Lookingforadventure wrote: ↑Mon Dec 23, 2024 7:36 pm
Plus, I think some folks here genuinely care about Adventurer and I.
We definitely do! A lot of us here grow very fond of those whose stories we read, and you can see it when posters suddenly stop posting (which happens all too often) leading us to think the “playing with fire” of this lifestyle genuinely burned them, or when people decide to quit the lifestyle or take a break and followers ask them to drop us a line periodically even if there’s nothing sexy to report. We definitely wish you all the best!

Well said. I couldn't agree more.

Late

[Long Lurker 34]

by vicg » Tue Dec 24, 2024 2:25 am

Lookingforadventure wrote: ↑Mon Dec 23, 2024 7:36 pm
Plus, I think some folks here genuinely care about Adventurer and I.
We definitely do! A lot of us here grow very fond of those whose stories we read, and you can see it when posters suddenly stop posting (which happens all too often) leading us to think the “playing with fire” of this lifestyle genuinely burned them, or when people decide to quit the lifestyle or take a break and followers ask them to drop us a line periodically even if there’s nothing sexy to report. We definitely wish you all the best!

Well said. I couldn't agree more.

Late

LFA and other thread creators of some length too!
Us followers we get invested in how people are doing and yes at times we do sometimes 'cheer lead'.