Ask a Hotwife Thread, to be answered by VHWs only!

[Natatude]

My husband wants to hear every detail. I don’t hold back, and that’s what turns him on. At first I felt bad, but the hornier he got hearing it, the more comfy I felt. So I am honest with it all.

[gdj1217]

What does a Bull who's looking for a Hot Wife have to Meet as for Your Qualifications in order for the Both of You to get together?

[Farmgirl]

What does a Bull who's looking for a Hot Wife have to Meet as for Your Qualifications in order for the Both of You to get together?

My first thought, bulls usually look for cows. For that, I expect the bull to cover and settle 25-30 head in a short breeding season.

Me as a Hotwife, I look for a man that has a sense of humor, is funny, able to carry on a conversation, makes me feel desired, is enthusiastic about being with me, enthusiastic about sex with me, and generally fun/pleasant to be around. Manners and courtesy are a must!
I've never wanted to see a dick pic, some guys think theirs is special, but it's not . Unsolicited dick pics are a turn-off. Thinking you can rock my world is a turn-off.
I'm the prize, earn it!

[PeterDragon]

Our story followed by a question.

My wife, K, and I have been married for 23 years and have two college aged kids. She has a very high profile position in a relatively small community. We met when we were in our early 30’s. Now, I’m 54 and she is a still very hot 58 who works out twice/day. She will retire soon and we will be living in another part of the country. K had many relationships and non-committal sex when she was younger, as did I. This may sound sexist, but I mean no offense, when I say she can be like a dude and have sex just to meet her physical needs with no emotions. She and I have discussed mfm threesomes frequently over the years and I recently learned (but I already knew) that being fucked by me and another guy is her biggest fantasy. Under the influence of alcohol we have almost done the deed but she always gets mad at me for “allowing” things to “go to far”. I posted about one such situation here a few years ago. At times during sex she discusses so matter of factly that she wants to be shared in a mfm situation. Other times, when I bring up the talk while having sex, she gets angry with me and acts very Puritan and kills the idea. The mixed messages confuse the shit out of me. She is a fantastic lover and enjoys thressome talk during sex while I enter her myself and use a dildo on her elsewhere. She loves DP. She loves alternating between sucking my cock and sucking a dildo. She fantasizes about us buying a boat and finding a man to join us. But then she gets angry with me other times when I bring up the talk. Guessing you get the point. My question is; is there anything I can do or say to make this fantasy we share come to fruition? Why does she run so hot at times and then make me feel like a pervert other times?

[Anonymousrachel]

Our story followed by a question.

My wife, K, and I have been married for 23 years and have two college aged kids. She has a very high profile position in a relatively small community. We met when we were in our early 30’s. Now, I’m 54 and she is a still very hot 58 who works out twice/day. She will retire soon and we will be living in another part of the country. K had many relationships and non-committal sex when she was younger, as did I. This may sound sexist, but I mean no offense, when I say she can be like a dude and have sex just to meet her physical needs with no emotions. She and I have discussed mfm threesomes frequently over the years and I recently learned (but I already knew) that being fucked by me and another guy is her biggest fantasy. Under the influence of alcohol we have almost done the deed but she always gets mad at me for “allowing” things to “go to far”. I posted about one such situation here a few years ago. At times during sex she discusses so matter of factly that she wants to be shared in a mfm situation. Other times, when I bring up the talk while having sex, she gets angry with me and acts very Puritan and kills the idea. The mixed messages confuse the shit out of me. She is a fantastic lover and enjoys thressome talk during sex while I enter her myself and use a dildo on her elsewhere. She loves DP. She loves alternating between sucking my cock and sucking a dildo. She fantasizes about us buying a boat and finding a man to join us. But then she gets angry with me other times when I bring up the talk. Guessing you get the point. My question is; is there anything I can do or say to make this fantasy we share come to fruition? Why does she run so hot at times and then make me feel like a pervert other times?

Being honest, I used to do this to Rob. Most of the reason I did so was because I was still trying to come to understand it all. Why he would want that from me? Especially since he knew my extreme belief in monogamy in our marriage. The biggest best advice I could give would be to honestly just communicate as much as you can about it. It took Rob and I going to see a therapist to help us work on communication. Honestly, I was the bigger problem because I have never been able to know how to process my feelings about it and be able to honestly tell him how I felt. Having someone there to help us talk to each other about it all opened up a huge bridge for our communication and helped me process more and finally see what it was actually all about. Understanding her feelings about it in the moment is a huge thing. There are still times I get like this with Rob. And it helps when he is patient and listens to my emotions of it all.

[MonaLisaOverdrive]

Hi hotwives, I'm really looking for a woman's perspective on this. My wife and I are pretty young, 36M and 28F, we've discussed open relationships before and I doubt either one of us could do that. However we've recently been starting to entertain the idea of a threesome. The problem, for me, is that my wife has never been with anyone sexually other than me.

My wife has trouble "letting go" during sex and I think a threesome could be a part of a solution to helping her let go and fully enjoy herself, however I am worried that it might also affect our "pair bonding" (for lack of a better term). That it won't be as strong afterwards.

I'd love her someone's perspective on this, as someone that doesn't want to fully engage into the lifestyle but just wants to help open my wife's mind to really learning to enjoy sex and improve our sex life.

[Lookingforadventure]

Hi hotwives, I'm really looking for a woman's perspective on this. My wife and I are pretty young, 36M and 28F, we've discussed open relationships before and I doubt either one of us could do that. However we've recently been starting to entertain the idea of a threesome. The problem, for me, is that my wife has never been with anyone sexually other than me.

My wife has trouble "letting go" during sex and I think a threesome could be a part of a solution to helping her let go and fully enjoy herself, however I am worried that it might also affect our "pair bonding" (for lack of a better term). That it won't be as strong afterwards.

I'd love her someone's perspective on this, as someone that doesn't want to fully engage into the lifestyle but just wants to help open my wife's mind to really learning to enjoy sex and improve our sex life.

I think that if your wife has issues letting go during sex, then a MFM threesome might not be the answer. Sex is very much a mental experience for me, and a threesome took some adjusting because it added another person to the mix. I found that I spent a lot of time wondering if I was giving both men equal attention, if everyone was having a good time, if anyone was feeling left out, etc.

I wonder if maybe a first step is to just have some very open conversations about sex? Do you have any road trips planned? When my husband and I were around your age, we used to have to drive several hours to go visit family. We'd use those opportunities in the car to talk about anything and everything sexual. Because you are in the car, you can't leave if you get uncomfortable or be distracted by household chores. Sitting side by side allows for touch, but you don't have to make eye contact if you are embarrassed. It worked really well for getting things out in the open.

You could talk about things like: What do you think about when you masturbate? Is there any fantasy you have that you might not do in person but like to think about? What would be the craziest thing that you'd be willing to try sexually? How does it feel for you when I do x, y or z? Would you be open to trying a, b or c?

Back in the day, I confessed that a lot of my fantasies had some coercion to them. In real life, I am all about consent. No means no. In fantasy world, I liked thinking about someone pushing me outside of my comfort zone. I liked being innocent but "giving in" to letting someone undress me or put in "just the tip". I liked fantasies about being a bit tipsy on the dance floor and having someone grope me. I think it came down to being able to be not responsible for being a "bad girl". That led us to experimenting with some light bondage. If I was blindfolded and my hands were tied, I could let go and just enjoy what was being done to me. My brain didn't need to think about if it was slutty or kinky.

In any case, some open conversations might help you discover some fantasies and role play that could help enhance your sex life before you think about adding other people.

[Lookingforadventure]

Our story followed by a question.

My wife, K, and I have been married for 23 years and have two college aged kids. She has a very high profile position in a relatively small community. We met when we were in our early 30’s. Now, I’m 54 and she is a still very hot 58 who works out twice/day. She will retire soon and we will be living in another part of the country. K had many relationships and non-committal sex when she was younger, as did I. This may sound sexist, but I mean no offense, when I say she can be like a dude and have sex just to meet her physical needs with no emotions. She and I have discussed mfm threesomes frequently over the years and I recently learned (but I already knew) that being fucked by me and another guy is her biggest fantasy. Under the influence of alcohol we have almost done the deed but she always gets mad at me for “allowing” things to “go to far”. I posted about one such situation here a few years ago. At times during sex she discusses so matter of factly that she wants to be shared in a mfm situation. Other times, when I bring up the talk while having sex, she gets angry with me and acts very Puritan and kills the idea. The mixed messages confuse the shit out of me. She is a fantastic lover and enjoys thressome talk during sex while I enter her myself and use a dildo on her elsewhere. She loves DP. She loves alternating between sucking my cock and sucking a dildo. She fantasizes about us buying a boat and finding a man to join us. But then she gets angry with me other times when I bring up the talk. Guessing you get the point. My question is; is there anything I can do or say to make this fantasy we share come to fruition? Why does she run so hot at times and then make me feel like a pervert other times?

I suggest having a conversation about this when you aren't having sex. Maybe mention that you know the two of you have talked about it a lot in the bedroom. You want to let her know that if she ever wanted to explore the idea of having a threesome with another man in real life, you would be very supportive of her. At the same time, you don't want to pressure her to do it either. It would be totally up to her and what she wants. You just wanted to let her know that you are willing.

And see how she reacts. If she says that she'd never do it, then let it go and just enjoy it as bedroom fantasy. The shift from monogamy to non-monogamy is a big one and isn't for everyone.

[Newbull]

Beloved hotwives,
I have questions regarding bi play. Certainly every relationship is unique; I'm trying to get a sense of how many (percentage) of hotwives find bisexual activity between their cuck and bull(s) erotic? What percentage of bulls are amenable to and/or prefer being serviced by your cuck? How do hotwives that are into MMF threesomes bring the subject up with prospective playmates?
Thank you! --Newbull

[Farmgirl]

Beloved hotwives,
I have questions regarding bi play. Certainly every relationship is unique; I'm trying to get a sense of how many (percentage) of hotwives find bisexual activity between their cuck and bull(s) erotic? What percentage of bulls are amenable to and/or prefer being serviced by your cuck? How do hotwives that are into MMF threesomes bring the subject up with prospective playmates?
Thank you! --Newbull

Certainly, each couple sees these things differently. Perhaps a poll on the open forum would give you a hint of the percentages.

Me, I don't want my husband with another man, nor do I enjoy seeing MM.

[afagehi7]

Beloved hotwives,
I have questions regarding bi play. Certainly every relationship is unique; I'm trying to get a sense of how many (percentage) of hotwives find bisexual activity between their cuck and bull(s) erotic? What percentage of bulls are amenable to and/or prefer being serviced by your cuck? How do hotwives that are into MMF threesomes bring the subject up with prospective playmates?
Thank you! --Newbull

Certainly, each couple sees these things differently. Perhaps a poll on the open forum would give you a hint of the percentages.

Me, I don't want my husband with another man, nor do I enjoy seeing MM.

A poll for hotwives only would be preferable otherwise... Well you know. I would be interested to hear female perspectives on this topic. Sorry to post in vhw forum...

[Anonymousrachel]

Beloved hotwives,
I have questions regarding bi play. Certainly every relationship is unique; I'm trying to get a sense of how many (percentage) of hotwives find bisexual activity between their cuck and bull(s) erotic? What percentage of bulls are amenable to and/or prefer being serviced by your cuck? How do hotwives that are into MMF threesomes bring the subject up with prospective playmates?
Thank you! --Newbull

I have to say honestly, even thinking of play between my bulls and Rob is an instant turn off. I have had a couple of potential bulls ask me about that and it is an immediate goodbye from me.

[Newbull]

Thank you for your replies Farmgirl, afagehi7 and Anonymousrachel. I've gotten various responses from women (not just HW's) regarding this topic in the past. I have a female friend that is very turned on by the idea of bi MMF. I know a few HW's that are ambivalent to their husbands' bisexuality. I know more than a few women that are totally repulsed by the idea of watching/participating with two bisexual men. IMO there seems to be an additional layer of taboo for bisexual men; perhaps which enhances sex for those cuck/HW couples that do find it erotic. Have any HW's with bi-cuck husbands had a prospective bull back out of or flake on a date because the bull was NOT bisexual? I'm curious to know if this makes the selection of compatible playmates more challenging for those HW's/couples.

[Farmgirl]

A poll for hotwives only would be preferable otherwise... Well you know. I would be interested to hear female perspectives on this topic. Sorry to post in vhw forum...

This is like "Jeopardy" you have to put it in the form of a question .

[MonaLisaOverdrive]

I think that if your wife has issues letting go during sex, then a MFM threesome might not be the answer. Sex is very much a mental experience for me, and a threesome took some adjusting because it added another person to the mix. I found that I spent a lot of time wondering if I was giving both men equal attention, if everyone was having a good time, if anyone was feeling left out, etc.

That makes sense, when we've discussed it before she mentioned that she thinks it might be a lot of work. I've told her she would be the centre of attention but I think she is still understandably scepitcal.

I wonder if maybe a first step is to just have some very open conversations about sex? Do you have any road trips planned? When my husband and I were around your age, we used to have to drive several hours to go visit family. We'd use those opportunities in the car to talk about anything and everything sexual. Because you are in the car, you can't leave if you get uncomfortable or be distracted by household chores. Sitting side by side allows for touch, but you don't have to make eye contact if you are embarrassed. It worked really well for getting things out in the open.

We've obviously had conversations about sex before but you're right, maybe it's time to have another one. I'd like our conversations to be an ongoing thing, just part of our normal routine of checking in with each other if you get my meaning. I think part of our issue of exploring and letting go is that she is so innocent that she doesn't even really know what kinds of things there are we can do. She had never even masturbated or had an orgasm before we were together. Her culture has really taught her that sex is digusting and dirty, just something people have to do to have kids. From the female point of view anyway, the men are still horny dogs lol. She doesn't really feel that way now, she does enjoy sex but I think part of that may be what's stopping her from really letting go.

You could talk about things like: What do you think about when you masturbate? Is there any fantasy you have that you might not do in person but like to think about? What would be the craziest thing that you'd be willing to try sexually? How does it feel for you when I do x, y or z? Would you be open to trying a, b or c?

Back in the day, I confessed that a lot of my fantasies had some coercion to them. In real life, I am all about consent. No means no. In fantasy world, I liked thinking about someone pushing me outside of my comfort zone. I liked being innocent but "giving in" to letting someone undress me or put in "just the tip". I liked fantasies about being a bit tipsy on the dance floor and having someone grope me. I think it came down to being able to be not responsible for being a "bad girl". That led us to experimenting with some light bondage. If I was blindfolded and my hands were tied, I could let go and just enjoy what was being done to me. My brain didn't need to think about if it was slutty or kinky.

We've tried blindfolds before and she really enjoyed it, I don't know why we got out of the habit of using it. I'll try it again with her and see how we get on. Thank you for taking the time to reply, I appreciate it.

[rascalnvixen]

Are there any VHWs here that are excited this thread is about to hit 100 pages????

Rascal

[Lookingforadventure]

Are there any VHWs here that are excited this thread is about to hit 100 pages????

Rascal

I am now!!!

[Farmgirl]

Are there any VHWs here that are excited this thread is about to hit 100 pages????

Rascal

I hadn't noticed, but thanks for pointing it out ! This is a thread I really like! And, I love reading the other VHW answers.

[JayBob]

What outfit makes you feel the most confident and sexy?

[PeterDragon]

Our story followed by a question.

My wife, K, and I have been married for 23 years and have two college aged kids. She has a very high profile position in a relatively small community. We met when we were in our early 30’s. Now, I’m 54 and she is a still very hot 58 who works out twice/day. She will retire soon and we will be living in another part of the country. K had many relationships and non-committal sex when she was younger, as did I. This may sound sexist, but I mean no offense, when I say she can be like a dude and have sex just to meet her physical needs with no emotions. She and I have discussed mfm threesomes frequently over the years and I recently learned (but I already knew) that being fucked by me and another guy is her biggest fantasy. Under the influence of alcohol we have almost done the deed but she always gets mad at me for “allowing” things to “go to far”. I posted about one such situation here a few years ago. At times during sex she discusses so matter of factly that she wants to be shared in a mfm situation. Other times, when I bring up the talk while having sex, she gets angry with me and acts very Puritan and kills the idea. The mixed messages confuse the shit out of me. She is a fantastic lover and enjoys thressome talk during sex while I enter her myself and use a dildo on her elsewhere. She loves DP. She loves alternating between sucking my cock and sucking a dildo. She fantasizes about us buying a boat and finding a man to join us. But then she gets angry with me other times when I bring up the talk. Guessing you get the point. My question is; is there anything I can do or say to make this fantasy we share come to fruition? Why does she run so hot at times and then make me feel like a pervert other times?

Being honest, I used to do this to Rob. Most of the reason I did so was because I was still trying to come to understand it all. Why he would want that from me? Especially since he knew my extreme belief in monogamy in our marriage. The biggest best advice I could give would be to honestly just communicate as much as you can about it. It took Rob and I going to see a therapist to help us work on communication. Honestly, I was the bigger problem because I have never been able to know how to process my feelings about it and be able to honestly tell him how I felt. Having someone there to help us talk to each other about it all opened up a huge bridge for our communication and helped me process more and finally see what it was actually all about. Understanding her feelings about it in the moment is a huge thing. There are still times I get like this with Rob. And it helps when he is patient and listens to my emotions of it all.

Thank you for your well thought answer. You and my wife are very similar in your monogamy. I have told my wife May times that she is my living fantasy. I love to listen to her pleasure. I know her fantasy is to be the middle of a sandwich between two men. And I want the same. I want to watch, listen and participate in getting her off. I think, I’m time, we’ll get there under the right circumstances and at the right time. I am a patient man and look forward to our future. Thanks, again, for your reply.

[Anonymousrachel]

What outfit makes you feel the most confident and sexy?

My favorite go to is my corsets! They make me feel extremely sexy!

[Farmgirl]

What outfit makes you feel the most confident and sexy?

It's not a certain "outfit". It is whatever I want to wear that I feel good in, and while "feel good in" has an element of comfort for the body, it is much more so a quality of the mind, as in how does it make my mind feel. If it makes me too self-conscious, or feel "on display", I'm not going to feel sexy and confident.
The goal is for the woman to wear what she feels sexy, confident, and powerful in, and then she will exude sexy powerful confidence. That is what draws and keeps the attention of men. Sexually confident women don't have to wear "special outfits", we do it best in what we like. I always dress nice, I don't dress down, so I always feel sexually confident. It's not the clothes that draw men to me, it's the confidence I have being me, that is what I exude.
The clothes should just be the whipped cream on an already fabulous dessert, the eyes are drawn to what the dessert exudes, not to the topping on it .

[irishstag41]

Well said Farmgirl

[feetuji]

Page 100 on this thread!!

Question: do you girls like to say I love you to other guys (not only your hubby/partner) with whom you have sex?

[Liese]

Question: do you girls like to say I love you to other guys (not only your hubby/partner) with whom you have sex?

Nope. That's reserved for my hubby. My playmates are just that, fun friends.