Her Plan to Dip Toe in Hotwife Water

[afagehi7]

Interesting conversation yesterday regarding Mr. E and his girlfriend. You may recall that SW met this girl the first time last July 4 party at the house and an after-party spilling over onto the boat. She is a hottie whom we first met at a party in June. My postings from back then mention how we'd met her briefly as a new girl on the Friday night party in June (we attended that party as a specific request of Mr. E in order that SW meet the owner of the house, which has a boat dock and the owner is/was letting Mr. E use the dock temporarily as a favor. As a side note, the boat is still at this dock.

Anyway, it was a coincidence that the next night we attended our friend Mr. R's birthday party (the one where it was a hot summer night and SW ended up in the pool at 1:30 a.m. and came out dripping wet and showing her talent via a mostly-transparent white short dress). The coincidence was that we were staying at a swanky hotel and while SW was sleeping it off, I went down to the pool and got a call from Mr. E that this new woman from the Friday night party was at that very pool at that very moment and that he is interested in her and I should go be the wingman for him. And I did.

They ended up talking a bit and there was the lead-up to the big July 4 party on Mr. E's boat. At the party, it was well attended and Mr. E got his dick sucked by about four or five different women throughout the day and night. At the end of the party, there was this after-party over on the boat, only for those invited. The additional music and drinking led to this woman and a girl going at it in the state room of the boat, while a couple of the single guys who are close friends of Mr. E and mine trying to work their way into the room with the girls.

But before the girls got hinky, this new one (who later became Mr. E's girlfriend) got quite handsy and touchy with SW and was essentially inviting her for a roll in the hay. SW did not push her away but at the same time did not actively respond.

The next day SW was pissy at the recollection of the end of the evening, and concluded that this woman "is a slut" and that SW wants nothing to do with her.

We haven't gotten together with Mr. E as a couple since that time, until this past Saturday night. Mr. E was hosting a surprise birthday party for his new love (this woman) and had invited us in hopes we might attend and the ice between the girls be melted. SW was a lovely person and agreed to attend and to give this woman a chance to show she is more mainstream.

It may be useful also to note that in October our friend from Europe was here and she accompanied me on a casual but very nice breakfast date to meet up with Mr. E and this girlfriend at a 5-star hotel property. Ms. Europe was smitten with this girlfriend of Mr. E and gave a glowing report to SW.

Fast forward to Saturday night, it went well, SW had a great time and greeted some friends we've missed since July 4, etc.

At the end of that party, Mr. E's girlfriend was so moved by SW's effort that she invited us to join her and Mr. E for their romantic and planned dinner on Sunday night, on the actual day of her birthday. We agreed and did join them (after SW tried to get out of it on Sunday afternoon but I wouldn't stand for us flaking on our friends). It was nice, the girlfriend was stunning in her styling, and everyone got along quite well. Mr. E (as always) talked about traveling and planning some kind of big trip together, etc.

Fast forward to Tuesday night, after my return from the business trip. SW, kind of out of nowhere, said that she found Mr. E's assumption that we (she) would be willing to travel abroad and rent a boat for several days, just as us two couples, to be a bit much. That she is able and wiling to be in the same room, same party, same restaurant as this girlfriend, but certainly not on an extended trip as two couples.

I said I understand but at the same time reminded her of her "gift" to me this year, which is her willingness to become friendly with some of the women she doesn't necessarily prefer, if these women are attached to close friends of mine.

Her response was "Mr. E is my friend as much as yours, if not more so. I have a special connection to him, in that I've given him a sexy lap dance, so don't forget about that."

Well what do you think it means? I have no idea how to translate this one

[setv4]

SW's reaction is almost as if Mr.E is 'Cheating On' SW with his "New" Girlfriend...
...lol

[solstice]

"Mr. E is my friend as much as yours, if not more so. I have a special connection to him, in that I've given him a sexy lap dance, so don't forget about that."

Well she's got you there, can't see you giving Mr E a sexy lap dance to even the score!

[solstice]

Your dear wife is an all-or-nothing lady, she either adores her female friends, or if the don't meet her exacting standards, resents them.
She is within her rights to chose her close friends as she pleases, but it can makes things a bit awkward for you at times.

[setv4]

Mr. E's new Honey could give You a lap dance to even the score, lol

[slenderfish]

Mr. E new Honey could give You a lap dance to even the score, lol

Best idea yet! I think she would prefer to do one for SW, to be honest.

[slenderfish]

Your dear wife is an all-or-nothing lady, she either adores her female friends, or if the don't meet her exacting standards, resents them.
She is within her rights to chose her close friends as she pleases, but it can makes things a bit awkward for you at times.

Understatement.

[setv4]

Mr. E new Honey could give You a lap dance to even the score, lol

Best idea yet! I think she would prefer to do one for SW, to be honest.

I'm sure that it would prove to be, as Artie Johnson said on Laugh-In, "Verrrrrry Interesting!" ...
...and Very Hot to watch!
What a Ride you have going Fish! Enjoy!
(I Wish it was me too!)

[slenderfish]

"Smitten"?
I always thought the past tense of "smite", was "smut".

I always wondered where the word smut came from. Mystery solved!

[BallSpanking]

Not sure, but I done been smut!

[slenderfish]

Happy Holidays!

SW and I were doing some ongoing couples' therapy, once a week, for a couple of years until the pandemic. That was a good cutoff point, as we'd probably reached a plateau with the therapist. The stated goal with that therapist was to improve intimacy through communication and trust, but my hope was that the therapist would recognize things in each of us (well, from my seat things in SW) that would merit individual therapy and push her to pursue it.

I believe her approach in life is much more influenced by factors that are best handled with a capable therapist. Certain behaviors and lack of deeper trust, etc. The therapist did, indeed, recommend individual therapy for SW and she got close, with recommendations and referrals, but never quite got to the point of keeping an appointment with the other therapist.

Also, I asked SW to keep this Hotwife kink out of the conversation with that therapist. I insisted that if we are to include this element, it should be with a therapist who is trained and has a specialty in sexuality and alternative lifestyles.

SW nevertheless breached this agreement and crossed into the subject once or twice with our couples' therapist, and I was not happy.

Fast forward to today.

SW asked me to find someone who I believe is qualified, etc. She wants to work more on communication, etc. as the primary focus, but with a therapist where Hotwifing and other sexual elements may be freely discussed.

After talking about this off and on for several weeks, I completed my research and have selected a woman, and we have our initial appointment (tentatively) late next week. I say tentative, because we may go out of town if our dog care reservation shifts from wait-listed to reserved.

I think the upcoming sessions will cause some movement in the hotwife effort, for better or worse. I'm up for the effort!

[afagehi7]

That's excellent news! Perhaps she can help SW get over her communication issues and her secrecy. I think you communicate well to her but for some unknown reason, she would rather borderline cheat than share. Hopefully you find out what that's about. I wouldn't push Mr B but it would show great progress if she would tell the full unfiltered story. Alas, I doubt that'll ever happen but the truth always comes out... Eventually.

[Parsifal]

Happy Holidays!

SW and I were doing some ongoing couples' therapy, once a week, for a couple of years until the pandemic. That was a good cutoff point, as we'd probably reached a plateau with the therapist. The stated goal with that therapist was to improve intimacy through communication and trust, but my hope was that the therapist would recognize things in each of us (well, from my seat things in SW) that would merit individual therapy and push her to pursue it.

I believe her approach in life is much more influenced by factors that are best handled with a capable therapist. Certain behaviors and lack of deeper trust, etc. The therapist did, indeed, recommend individual therapy for SW and she got close, with recommendations and referrals, but never quite got to the point of keeping an appointment with the other therapist.

Also, I asked SW to keep this Hotwife kink out of the conversation with that therapist. I insisted that if we are to include this element, it should be with a therapist who is trained and has a specialty in sexuality and alternative lifestyles.

SW nevertheless breached this agreement and crossed into the subject once or twice with our couples' therapist, and I was not happy.

Fast forward to today.

SW asked me to find someone who I believe is qualified, etc. She wants to work more on communication, etc. as the primary focus, but with a therapist where Hotwifing and other sexual elements may be freely discussed.

After talking about this off and on for several weeks, I completed my research and have selected a woman, and we have our initial appointment (tentatively) late next week. I say tentative, because we may go out of town if our dog care reservation shifts from wait-listed to reserved.

I think the upcoming sessions will cause some movement in the hotwife effort, for better or worse. I'm up for the effort!

Using a therapist to help untangle open marriage issues is intriguing. In a sense, the therapeutic relationship is itself a consensual opening of the marriage to that third person, with all of the challenges of trust and emotional (albeit not physical) intimacy packed in. Hopefully you've chosen someone who'll work for your marriage and helping you harmonize your goals. Sometimes your stories amaze me for how well you've been able to rationalize and objectify feelings that for me would be overwhelming. I think your approach is the only way to find the right balance with a woman as free spirited as SW. Yet as attractive as the veils and mysteries are that surround her, I personally would prefer her to move on a closer orbit with me if she ever were to settle into hotwifing as more of a hobby than the toe touching or dabbling style of play she currently seems to favor.

[regular3]

I feel it will only confirm your arguments for and help placate any reservations she might have.
Hopefully the therapist will also reinforce the need for open communication.

[slenderfish]

I feel it will only confirm your arguments for and help placate any reservations she might have.
Hopefully the therapist will also reinforce the need for open communication.

Thanks, this is basically the full postulate I carry into the sessions. Luckily, these are seen as instigated and pushed by SW, not me.

[Dharmadude]

I think this is a great development for you. All through this thread is the cloud of her being secretive (in fact that is how it began). So if you could both learn how to be more open with each other then only good can come of it.

Maybe I am biased somewhat because of my personal inclinations but a HW being a HW but then hiding it is something I couldn’t accept. I want all of the intimate details, and that was our agreement at first. Over time, I can tell she is not as comfortable with that after some encounters. I don’t know why some are different than others but she is her own person. I have decided I will not push for details. I will ask questions and let her share what she is comfortable with. The rest is for her (and him).

My opinion is SW is similar. She does not want to share all of the details. I am fine with that and a, “Oh BTW, I fucked Mr. XX when you were out of town.” Ideal? No, not really. But I still get the thrill of her giving herself to another man and experiencing a new cock, which turns me on. We will reconnect with intimacy. She gets that memory to share as she wishes, and neither is hiding anything.

Selfishly, I hope this helps her overcome her resistence as I think you will share all of her adventures here!

[BallSpanking]

I believe that sessions with a "Couples Therapist" could be helpful with communication, it might help SW open up to express her needs, contrasted to your wants ... (Fish seems to have little problem expressing his desires, and does so only when needed).

But, to the extent communication does improve, it can reveal unbridgeable contradictions between the needs of one and the other.
With any luck, it will open SW's mind to hearing from a therapist professional, and a woman, how to let go her fears, and embrace growth. With the full support of her husband.

On the other hand, if the therapist is inimical to HW'ing and believes it is female exploitation, it could shut down the whole enterprise.
I hope you did your research, though knowing you, you almost certainly have.

[rooster444]

I'll place my bet on - "...if the therapist is inimical to HW'ing and believes it is female exploitation, it could shut down the whole enterprise."

I'm by no means an expert when it comes to therapists but my guess is the percentage of therapists who prescribe to the notion that hotwifing is a good idea - especially when one is all-in and the other a bit reluctant - has to be fairly low....like <30%?

Was it mentioned before, but is SW a tri-athlete? I know she's a workout machine but tri-athletes are at another compulsive level. Just curious.

[slenderfish]

I believe that sessions with a "Couples Therapist" could be helpful with communication, it might help SW open up to express her needs, contrasted to your wants ... (Fish seems to have little problem expressing his desires, and does so only when needed).

But, to the extent communication does improve, it can reveal unbridgeable contradictions between the needs of one and the other.
With any luck, it will open SW's mind to hearing from a therapist professional, and a woman, how to let go her fears, and embrace growth. With the full support of her husband.

On the other hand, if the therapist is inimical to HW'ing and believes it is female exploitation, it could shut down the whole enterprise.
I hope you did your research, though knowing you, you almost certainly have.

Yes, Bspank, I did a lot of research and, observing the risks, did select the therapist who appears to be best for our situation. She did her psychology PhD after being in another career for quite some time, and then did extra work and presents herself as a specialist in human sexuality. Alternative orientations, lifestyles, etc. She is on record as someone who believes a persons's sexual preference must not be stifled, etc.

Though of course there is plenty of risk.

But I'm a risk taker, we know this.

[slenderfish]

I'll place my bet on - "...if the therapist is inimical to HW'ing and believes it is female exploitation, it could shut down the whole enterprise."

I'm by no means an expert when it comes to therapists but my guess is the percentage of therapists who prescribe to the notion that hotwifing is a good idea - especially when one is all-in and the other a bit reluctant - has to be fairly low....like <30%?

Was it mentioned before, but is SW a tri-athlete? I know she's a workout machine but tri-athletes are at another compulsive level. Just curious.

Let's hope we have found one within that small percentage of therapists.

SW does aspire to do triathlons (I kind of encouraged her to get into this shortly after we met because I was actively training for my first triathlon when we did meet at a workout club). She never got hardcore about tri's. She casually approaches triathlons these days, wanting to stay fit enough to do one or two short-course triathlons in any given year. She and I did a very short one together this past July.

[slenderfish]

An update regarding Mr. G (her trainer).

Yesterday she mentioned she is planning to get back to her pattern with Mr. G (she goes twice a week for private training sessions at his studio about 15 min from where we live; Wed and Friday midday). The element she wants to add is the Monday treadmill drop-in workouts, which she does during his lunch hour on Mondays. Sometimes she brings him lunch when she does this.

She texted him to request for today but he said he will be in meetings all day.

She then told me that Mr. G and his wife have expanded and acquired another facility. That the wife will be generally operating the new location and that Mr. G will be operating the old one. That SW will have plenty of opportunities for "drop=in" visits in the future once the new place is settled into regular operations.

[slenderfish]

An update regarding Mr. G (her trainer).

Yesterday she mentioned she is planning to get back to her pattern with Mr. G (she goes twice a week for private training sessions at his studio about 15 min from where we live; Wed and Friday midday). The element she wants to add is the Monday treadmill drop-in workouts, which she does during his lunch hour on Mondays. Sometimes she brings him lunch when she does this.

She texted him to request for today but he said he will be in meetings all day.

She then told me that Mr. G and his wife have expanded and acquired another facility. That the wife will be generally operating the new location and that Mr. G will be operating the old one. SW will have plenty of opportunities for "drop=in" visits in the future once the new place is settled into regular operations.

[afagehi7]

I believe that sessions with a "Couples Therapist" could be helpful with communication, it might help SW open up to express her needs, contrasted to your wants ... (Fish seems to have little problem expressing his desires, and does so only when needed).

But, to the extent communication does improve, it can reveal unbridgeable contradictions between the needs of one and the other.
With any luck, it will open SW's mind to hearing from a therapist professional, and a woman, how to let go her fears, and embrace growth. With the full support of her husband.

On the other hand, if the therapist is inimical to HW'ing and believes it is female exploitation, it could shut down the whole enterprise.
I hope you did your research, though knowing you, you almost certainly have.

Yes, Bspank, I did a lot of research and, observing the risks, did select the therapist who appears to be best for our situation. She did her psychology PhD after being in another career for quite some time, and then did extra work and presents herself as a specialist in human sexuality. Alternative orientations, lifestyles, etc. She is on record as someone who believes a persons's sexual preference must not be stifled, etc.

Though of course there is plenty of risk.

But I'm a risk taker, we know this.

Being in a city I'm certain that there's counselors who are hotwife positive. There's something for everyone in the big city.

If it's a positive counselor and she says it's a bad idea then maybe it is

[slenderfish]

Yes, Bspank, I did a lot of research and, observing the risks, did select the therapist who appears to be best for our situation. She did her psychology PhD after being in another career for quite some time, and then did extra work and presents herself as a specialist in human sexuality. Alternative orientations, lifestyles, etc. She is on record as someone who believes a persons's sexual preference must not be stifled, etc.

Though of course there is plenty of risk.

But I'm a risk taker, we know this.

Being in a city I'm certain that there's counselors who are hotwife positive. There's something for everyone in the big city.

If it's a positive counselor and she says it's a bad idea then maybe it is

Point taken. It's a full and wonderful life and we navigate as best we can on this Mario Kart existence. So far we are still in the game.

[afagehi7]

Yes, Bspank, I did a lot of research and, observing the risks, did select the therapist who appears to be best for our situation. She did her psychology PhD after being in another career for quite some time, and then did extra work and presents herself as a specialist in human sexuality. Alternative orientations, lifestyles, etc. She is on record as someone who believes a persons's sexual preference must not be stifled, etc.

Though of course there is plenty of risk.

But I'm a risk taker, we know this.

Being in a city I'm certain that there's counselors who are hotwife positive. There's something for everyone in the big city.

If it's a positive counselor and she says it's a bad idea then maybe it is

Point taken. It's a full and wonderful life and we navigate as best we can on this Mario Kart existence. So far we are still in the game.

If nothing else, at least she gave it a chance. Most of our wives aren't even willing to give it a shot and see if they may like it.