Hotwife going out alone/why is it too difficult for me?

[54321]

Dear, lovely R's,

I hope you had a great Christmas and New Year. I've missed you of course, but hey, I'm coping.

I know it's tough, but update us when you can.

Every good wish for 2012

54321

[mrs_reese]

Hi everyone!!
A lot has been happening since I last wrote!
I am happy to report that I am into the full hotwife lifestyle again.
I have to be honest; I have not felt the need to write about my personal life and expose myself for a while now...but I am getting stronger and feel like the time has come to be open again!
I have finally settled all my EX husband BS!
We finally had a heart to heart about our lives, our child and our personal choices that do and do not involve our daughter.
He has admitted to me that he just wanted to hurt me because he just COULD!!
What a complete Asshole!
I hate him for that.
I have learned that he has NO clue about a lot of my lifestyle.
He also was married recently and is completely in love with his wonderful wife!
She and I have a great relationship and I believe that this has helped him GET OVER ME!!

Time has healed somethings for us and we now have things on the right path!
I really stopped Hotwife play for a while, as many men as I was pursuing or the men in my past who I kept in touch with....I have to admit, I stppped all contact.
I just wanted a break....I needed to just have "me" time for a while.
I also needed a fresh start!!
Over the past few months....hubby and I have come to a realization that over the past few years...he has really encouraged me to be a hotwife....we have played and had so much fun! With this stuff that happened a few months ago....I was able to focus on our relationship...and I feel that it is much stronger now than it ever has been!
But hubby is SO right...it is difficult to go back to as he says "vanilla."
I have written for so many years about how I wanted to do all those things with other men..how I wanted to completely deny hubby....so many things were written...and all the while...i never was 100% convinced that i was doing the right thing!
At times I was angry with hubby....why??? Why did I have to find a man so kinky...a man who loved to live on the edge as he says so many times!!
I would be with men...and going thru the motions....I would find a way to release my fears and concerns of possibly destroying my marriage by either drinking a lot or doing other things to make me get into that mood!
I want to finally come clean...and tell all my friends that I am free of the guilt and concern that used to consume me.
I am not worried any more about being a hotwife.
I can finally say that I am 100% on board with doing this for me more that I have ever felt!

Now about the present........................
I have talked with 2 men over the past few months..
I have kept in touch with one by texting for a while now.
He is someone that I have only had the pleasure of making out....and light touching in his car recently.
His life is very busy and he is also married with a very hands on wife.
As much as I really want to be with this guy, I can wait....I really dont want any drama as his marriage seems complicated!

But now I want to tell you all about "D"
I went on an all girls trip last month....to a beer weekend....outdoor snowmobile, sledding, town event.
It was a big yearly celebration thing....complete with hotel get togethers, ourdoor beer tent, DJ and a lot of FUN
He is single...and he understands that I want to have a relationship with him.
He is so much fun to be around....he is head over heels into me..and I love that innocence as we have yet to have sex!
Hubby is not involved with anything....and he likes it that way!
I want to write more...but i want to give all my friends whom I have neglected over the past few months time to digest all that I have written so far.

I want to tell you that I am so sorry for being negligent! Sorry for not writing! I have missed you all so much!
I want you to be happy for me.....because this new man in my life...D..allows me to feel good about myself loving my husband and possibly falling for him too!

I have so much more to write about....and I will......
very soon!!

[hornedhubby]

It wasn't the same without you, Mrs. Reese.

Welcome back!

[BallSpanking]

Welcome back Mrs Reese, and many happy returns!

Congratulations on your resolve and your resolutions, your sexiness and your clarity.
Having things squared away and safe at home is necessary to even consider hotwife play, or even to desire it.

From your brief description it sounds like you are completely in charge of who you see and how (?), and Mr Reese likes it that way. I am not sure he enjoys the 'denial' part of it as much as you do... but you probably are leaving hubby some used (cum soaked) panties as a care packages, you know... his 'Aromatherapy'... and JO glove.

You are thoughtful and sweet, and it is lovely to have you back!

[Open2it]

Welcome back and enjoy!

[Aynsley]

Good to hear from you, Mrs. R.
In particular, it's good that you've gotten past the hump with your Ex.
Ugh.

The next time you two roll through Chicago, the drinks are on us.
Best to you guys' continued adventure.

[voyeur]

Welcome back Mrs. R Great to hear from you again

[reese]

I guess it's my turn!
She's been through a lot over the past few years so I really held back on the hotwife play after this episode with her ex.
Thankfully it's finally over; at least I hope!
She is starting a new adventure with a man whom she calls "D"
Our agreement is less public exposure!
She wants to explore a relationship again.
Our marriage is very strong, with trust and honesty, so I dont worry about not being around to watch the show!
One thing though, it was such a turn on watching, and now I am joining the club of hotwife husbands who watch their wife prepare/dress and kiss goodbye as she visits her lover!
Waiting and hoping for a text update is all I am left with right now!
It's not as visual, but the angst is amazing.
This is just starting with D, so i dont have much to talk about.
They are very active with texting.
Soon the dates will begin!
I think she really wants to have a relationship with him.

[bubbajack]

Hooray!! Three thumbs up for the reeses!!

... & a wicked smile for Mrs Reese to get her hot pussy on a hard cock and tell us all about it real soon

Welcome back!

[BallSpanking]

Right on, Mr Reese... thanks for hanging in there!

[MyNJHotWife]

Good luck.....I'll just continue to bite my tongue.

[bubbajack]

Good luck.....I'll just continue to bite my tongue.

Thank you very much indeed.

[54321]

So glad you guys are B-A-C-K!

54321

[mrs_reese]

I miss this/ talking to everyone here!
So i have been really good for a while now!
I want to really ask a question for everyone to help me with.
I really want to be candid here!!
As much as I played over the years/ everything I did was to turn hubby on!
Did I let go at times? yes! Did I love the attention? Yes! Did I like travelling with men other than my husband? Not really!
I would say things and write things/ but deep down I wanted none of that!
I asked some very serious questions to myself over the past few months/ the ones I wrote above!
Those were my answers!
I was angry at hubby a while ago b/c he convinced me to be a to be a hotwife.
I realize that I acted on my own, that no matter how convincing he was/ that I still acted on my own behalf and no one forced me to be a hotwife!
I accept full responsibility for my actions!
But WHY? I never asked to be a hotwife.
I am a wife first, and every good partner/wife will agree/ we want our men sexually happy!

[mrs_reese]

Sorry! A continuation to my post earlier

In the beginning, I did not want to be a hotwife.
I was scared and confused.
Any sexy woman will agree that after a while, when a gorgeous man is full of compliments and desire, eventually it is hard to say NO when your husband is begging you more or less to play with that sexy stranger!

So here I was/ with a pscho ex husband and a past that started to haunt me as a hotwife.
I was so sick of everything! Very upset that I was a hotwife! Very upset with my life and the paths I choose!

But after a while, I realized that I can control the events that surround my life.
I realized that I needed to make adjustments!

Moving forward/ hubby and I hit a wall!
It really is hard to go back to vanilla as I said yesterday!
I only wanted my husband to be my lover/ to make love to me all the time. To be romantic and sweep me off my feet everytime we had sex!
That isnt possible now!
I also crave that intensity that comes with being a hotwife.
Sex with hubby is so much more erotic and intense when I am a hotwife.
I denied that!
I didnt want to admit that to myself!
Hubby was amazing though all of this/ as he was patient and did not force me to play as a hotwife when I had these conflicted feelings!

But I gave in to my feelings recently!
With the resolve of my issues with my ex, i started to see daylight again!
Hubby and I recently was talking about "D" at a restaurant.
Funny thing happened/ a older woman about 40ish was listening to hubby tell me after a few cocktails that he misses me fucking other men!
I am sure this woman must have been disguisted by our conversation.
I was actually debating with hubby/ asking him if he was really sure that WE should walk down that hotwife path again!
She got up and rudely pointed in my hubbys face telling him that HE was going to lose me one day to another man and that he was a fool for trying to convince me to cheat on him!!

Hubby was speechless/ not like him at all!
I was a little annoyed!
Anyway, it opened my eyes to the fact that this lifestyle will probably never be acceptable!

Jumping forward a few weeks since our dinner date!
I told hubby that if I was to allow D to come into my world, that hubby wouldnt be a part of that!
If I am going to be a hotwife/ I want to do everything on my own!
I didnt want hubby asking me every 10 minutes about D! I dont want hubby coming on our dates, or watching us have sex when that happens.
IF I am to be a hotwife/ he will not be involved other than when I come home from a date and if I am not too tired or sore/ then hubby can have me intimately!
I am not going to be a hotwife for hubby anymore.
I will do this for ME only!!
And if hubby gives me his blessing( which he has) then I am free of all the responsibilities to my husband as a hotwife!
I am on my own! And whatever happens- then so be it!
I am not hoping to fall in love/ or leave my husband.
Our marriage is the most important part of my life!
But I want less pressure!
I want to do this for ME!
I am sure once I become involved intimately with D/ and it will HAPPEN soon/ maybe hubby can read about things that happen here in this forum!
I will tell him stuff when we have sex!
But for now, hubby understands that I will tell him things when I want to/ not when HE wants me to all the time!
He will have to use his imagination at times!

Btw!! I do plan on tormenting him! Dont get me wrong! But I just want LESS pressure to perform and more freedom to be a lover to a man without reporting to my husband all the time!

[mrs_reese]

jr! HI

that is a good question about my anger.
I really was never mad at hubby entirely!
At first I blamed him for everything that happened/but once I calmed down, I realized that I acted without force!
I was probably most angry at myself for letting everything be out of control.
I realized that (this may be boring to some) I dont want to slut around/ going to bars/clubs/ bringing hotsexy men to my home!
If I am to continue to be a hotwife, it will now be at my terms!
If hubby didnt want to accept that/ I will be completely fine with being a normal wife/and learn to develop some other fantasy role plays that can spice up our sex life from time to time.

Funny/ I was never that sexual! Once to three times a week was fine with me as a wife to my husband.
But one thing that did happen to me is that I do believe that I hit my sexual "prime" and I have learned to think outside the box as hubby likes to say!

Anger??? My ex was the main culprit of the events that have led me to this decision!! I wanted him to suffer in other ways! Lol!

I can honestly say that I am happy with my decision/ my marriage and the love that I feel for hubby!
I am not sure what will happen with D in my life!
Knowing me/ I will probably feel love for him/ I am not sure what the future will bring to D and into my marriage!
I just want to take this one day at a time!
I want to write again! To all of you!
I want to share my moments as a hotwife!
I do know this about myself/ if D becomes too close to me/ I probably will leave him as I do not want any man coming b/w me and hubby!

[BallSpanking]

glitch...

[BallSpanking]

Hello Mrs Reese!
Lovely to have your contributions again.
I was going to respond to your question in your preceding post, but you pretty much pre-empted my respose in your subsequent post.
In essence, I agree with your assessment, that as a HW, desirous of pleasing hour husband, you found yourself doing things that were not your preferred activity, and felt you were being a HW for someone else's benefit. Clearly that would detract from your enjoyment if these activities are not arousing to you, so to that extent, it is counterproductive.

Now, after a period of reassessment, you determined that in fact being a HW actually IS somerhing you want, only you want it go be entirely on your terms, including the intimacy and confidentiality that result from your lovemaking with your lovers, and it seems Mr Reese is fully agreeable.

To be fair, though, I think Mr Reese has proved himself to be supportive and approving of all your initiatives as a HW, including your new ground rules... and so I hope your return to HW'ing will be rewarding and successful to you, and will make you fulfilled and happy!

[bubbajack]

Hey, reeses!

I am very interested in what you are saying about the changing dynamics in your relationship around hotwifing. The pressure that Mrs r was feeling seems to have been an aspect of the activity that needed some attention and adjustment for going forward as a happily and mutually committed married couple.

It all sounds like important new discoveries are being made as a result of the stresses and efforts to deal with them that have arisen during recent months.

It also sounds like you are both doing your part to bring the issues forward and deal with them humanely and realistically. One thing that seems to be pretty well settled is that there is no residual blaming.

And there doesn't seem to be any attachment to an imagined vanilla pre-hotwifing marital paradise that never really existed. For better or for worse, hotwifing is now a defining factor in your marriage and cannot be wiped out. It also appears that you are doing your best as a couple to make its presence in your marriage a mutually satisfying and mutually supportive feature of your lives.

I admire your courage and honesty with each other and your devotion to the truth about where you are. But I also see that you love each other very much and that you know you are good together and much better than you would be if you were apart.

Cheers and all the best. And please'keep us up to date as things go forward - both the hot and the less hot.

[reese]

Bubbajack and Ballspanking, I couldnt agree with both of you more!
I am home early and my wife asked me to get online and read her posts that she wrote today.
We have gone through a lot! But most importantly, even though we have had many ups and downs; our marriage is as strong as ever!
Personally, I have had such a thrill over the years that I can adjust to my wife's requests.
We both do not want to discontinue her HW play!
There is one thing that I would like to focus on from my perspective!
As crazy as times were for me over the past 4 yrs....as wild as she was.....as much torment as a husband can endure...I have done it all!!
I have changed....I read a thread recently about poly relationships....and a few of our well respected veterans wrote that the "thrill" of being in a poly relationship has diminished! They wrote that they missed the HW activities and that the poly world was more or less "blah!"
Well..................I have a feeling that I may be experiencing that same feeling soon!
There is something very erotic...mind bending and arousing to watch your hotwife play in front of you..to watch her tease and play with her potential lover right in front of your eyes.
I am not sure how I will feel not being involved!
I think that eventually...the mental stimulus that I experience as she shares some of her adventures may not arouse me or spike my interest!
I feel that I have lost complete control over all of this!!
But in order for her to continue to be a HotWife...she does not want me to have that control at this point in our marriage!
Do not be fooled for one minute....I did have that control...even when she may have written that she was in charge....I realized that over the years...I somehow pulled all the strings...by my messages...my mind control over her...my reward system ...my strong encouragements...and the way I sexually responded to her activities.
She was mentally controlled. Not in a demeaning manner...but there was a very strong psychological approach to her activities as a hotwife through me!!

We have talked about this for hours over the past few weeks....WE both agreed that a new approach is required!
Personally...I am so damn selfish...I DO NOT want to lose my wife as a hotwife.
I am willing to make any necessary adjustments to insure her happiness..and her desire to be a hotwife.
Funny how time and experience can change a person's perspective!
Never in a million years would I have believed that through my encouragement, my wife would be a hotwife....and now 4 yrs later..she is much more experienced than I ever imagined!

4 yrs later....WE would be negotiating...compromising...adjusting to her life as a hotwife!
AMAZING!!! I love the journey!!

[mrs_reese]

I have read hubby's post and I was happy that he wrote what he did!
We are going grocery shopping and then to workout! Different club/ lol!

I wanted to write about something that is on my mind!

To BS, Aynsley, Bubbajack, MRS P and MrP, Jane, gordo, dnic, bubbalapagus Mr.Bear, Iris, Flyinfast, JGraham, 54321, rmasoni, voyeur, hornedhubby, morgan, aemn, J and so many of my other friends!!!
I just wanted to say, Thanks for being our friends, I really have missed some of you!

[Aynsley]

It's good to hear from both of you guys.
And I agree with Mr. R, it IS a "journey".
As time goes on, experiences are experienced, as we all change,
I think HWs and HW couples find different 'interests'; they evolve.

I would never imagine that we'd be where we're at, and I'm equally 'curious' as to what
may 'happen', down the road. Mrs. R., I hear where you're at, now; and it will be interesting
to see where you're at, come 2yrs from now.
In the meantime, I hope you enjoy being the sexy HW that you are.

[hornedhubby]

FWIW, this crisis has, more than ever, convinced me of the strength and elasticity of your marriage. And I very much admired it before the troubles began.

Mrs. Reese, I offer the following as food for thought, given what you just shared about what you liked and disliked about being a HW. In participating on forums like OHW, I think all of us become somewhat inventive in creating a "forum personality," and then we respond to others and adjust that character to please and relate to others on that forum.

There is no doubt that your HW escapades have been wildly celebrated by pervs like me. We encourage and we push and we try to manipulate. Certainly, you are one of the most beloved women on this forum because you are so fucking hot and because you share with us in an erotic and very generous way.

But I hope we haven't pressured you to live up to being the Mrs Reese, the OHW goddess. The real Mrs. Reese is the person who matters. Many of us like and admire you more than we enjoy the entertainment. We wish you all the best in finding your ideal comfort zone.

[54321]

No wonder Mr Reese is so cool with this. Mrs Reese is going to explore what turns her on the most. How cool is THAT?

54321

[BallSpanking]

FWIW, this crisis has, more than ever, convinced me of the strength and elasticity of your marriage. And I very much admired it before the troubles began.

Mrs. Reese, I offer the following as food for thought, given what you just shared about what you liked and disliked about being a HW. In participating on forums like OHW, I think all of us become somewhat inventive in creating a "forum personality," and then we respond to others and adjust that character to please and relate to others on that forum.

There is no doubt that your HW escapades have been wildly celebrated by pervs like me. We encourage and we push and we try to manipulate. Certainly, you are one of the most beloved women on this forum because you are so fucking hot and because you share with us in an erotic and very generous way.

But I hope we haven't pressured you to live up to being the Mrs Reese, the OHW goddess. The real Mrs. Reese is the person who matters. Many of us like and admire you more than we enjoy the entertainment. We wish you all the best in finding your ideal comfort zone.

... Yeah... What he said!