Jane' adventure

[bubbajack]

Hello Jane's Husband,

For what it is worth, when my hotwife (former wife - long story - long time ago) and I would socialize with guys she was fucking or about to fuck, the guy and I would both (I think) mentally pay a brief visit to that part of our respective brains that humans have in common with wolves and elephant seals - the part that drives dominance/submissiveness behavior. We all know that score at some level of feeling: the big strong guys get to fuck the females and we others have to just hang out and hope we can avoid getting beat up.

I never felt like it was more than a brief visit to that mammalian brain, though - none of my wife's parafucks (tm) ever tried to lord it over me nor did I ever feel like abasing myself to them, even though, if it was taking place at our house, I would often prepare and serve the drinks. I made them strong.

This brings up why I liked guys fucking my wife - whether I watched and participated or it took place somewhere else and she came home and I fucked her afterwards:
For me it was like getting to fuck multiple women, because she was always a little (or a lot) different when she had just had some other guy's tongue and dick in her mouth and pussy, swapping essence with each other (this was in the pre-AIDS era, when the pill and penicillin were the complete answers to any question you wanted to ask about multiple partners).

With my hotwife, anyway, the sex never got stale because she would be transformed in these very interesting encounters. Indeed, I very quickly realized this was better for me than the wearisome business (and often bad consequences) of trying to get over with other women: substantial portions of the territory were familiar but fascination with the new and different remained strong.

For me the hotwife experience was all about this element of the new and exciting that she introduced into our relations by her adventures. That factor was by far the most important part of my enjoyment. The parafuck guys were important to the process, although not primarily in their individual capacities: they all had dicks. But there was no reason not to be friendly and relaxed with them - some in fact were very nice guys - sometimes we played tennis or sometimes were at the same bridge parties. No sweat.

It also put me in a better perspective about the usual brief, vivid sensation of being in a Walt Disney nature movie, cast as one of the caribou hitting their heads together for the privilege of getting their rocks off: it passed, and the real enjoyments were not affected.

Best to both of you - I hope it all works out well.


, .

[Aynsley]

Also, Jane's Husband, we'd love to see some photography of Jane. Fine to heave her face out. Jane is HOT!!!

Yes, JanesHusband...ever since Jane said,
"OK...I won't wear panties (to the bar w/BF),
but I'm too busty to NOT wear a bra..."

...I too, have been hoping for a cleavage shot
(or more).

[Aynsley]

I get to meet him tonight, which, well i have to ask other husbands: don't you find it odd at all to meet a man that potentially is going to screw your wife? Will i ever get to feeling that's normal?

Mr. JH.

I hear ya. What gets me through it, is I know, without a doubt, that there are at least as many thoughts/questions buzzing through the head of the 'new guy'...as there are in mine.

Hence, I focus on acting like this is no big deal, and seeing what
'his' reaction is. But, without a doubt, it does feel 'weird', and
I don't expect that feeling to ever change.

[wifewatcher1001]

For me it was like getting to fuck multiple women, because she was always a little (or a lot) different when she had just had some other guy's tongue and dick in her mouth and pussy, swapping essence with each other

Actually, as against all the sperm war and cuckhold theories I've read about regarding the motivation behind husbands favoring their wives fucking other men, this statement by Bubbajack may be as close to the truth of an explanantion for me as I've yet to see.

It was as if fucking my babe after she fucked other men was like fucking multiple women, when in fact it was actually making love to a multi-faceted wonderful woman who you lloved and who was devoted to you, but who loved the freedom to enjoy other cocks and other men.

[jane]

Also, Jane's Husband, we'd love to see some photography of Jane. Fine to heave her face out. Jane is HOT!!!

Yes, JanesHusband...ever since Jane said,
"OK...I won't wear panties (to the bar w/BF),
but I'm too busty to NOT wear a bra..."

...I too, have been hoping for a cleavage shot
(or more).

hmm, maybe my husband should have a picture of me for an avatar like you do of your wife.

[jrandmustang]

parafucks (tm)

Nice.

[jrandmustang]

I get to meet him tonight, which, well i have to ask other husbands: don't you find it odd at all to meet a man that potentially is going to screw your wife? Will i ever get to feeling that's normal?

I hope it never gets to be "normal." However, there's a difference between the guys who realize they've stumbled into a great opportunity, and therefore are pleasant and almost grateful to you both;

and the guys who understand the concept of "power exchange," and, without overtly humiliating you, will make eye contact with you until you look away ...

[allengt]

I would like to see a full size one of her present avatar.

[MrBrunetteBeth]

I'd like to wallpaper a "Jane" room in my house with full poster size renditions of that avatar in poster form, Beth? LOL

I don't know about multiple women/variety what have you - Beth is simply so damn hot when she comes back from being with another guy. And she is extra into ME.

When I happen to meet another guy as a get to know you or to help screen them (back in the day) or as a precursor to MFM - it all seems pretty natural. Beth says I can get a little nit picky. Think of it as getting to know someone who has something in common with you - wanting to provide the ultimate pleasure for your wife!

MrBB

[bubbajack]

Hello Jane,

Hope you and Jane's Husband had a good time yesterday. Would love to hear about it.

[Jonnyinsa]

My husband and i havn't always shared this big turn on after dates. Probably for various reasons. I'm going to try in the future to include him more ,and make it exciting for both of us.

Bravo Jane, That is the single best thing I've seen you say since you've been here. I think the rewards you reap from it and the closer you and your husband will feel will make up for any temporary shyness or discomfort in following through with it.

[Janes Husband]

Last night i picked up Jane as soon as i got off work. She had the babysitter already there, and we headed to a restaurant. As we pulled into the lot i began to think about this whole thing. We were meeting a guy , for the sole purpose of him having sex with her. From time to time this escapes me, to a point. We sat there and talked about if this is what she really wants, and if this is what we really want. She said she would do whatever i wanted. Minutes dragged on. As we finally locked eyes there was an expectant look there. "Let's go in." and she nodded.
Once inside we found him already seated. Deron is his name. He rose , said "hey" softly to Jane, and hugged her. She then stepped aside and he stuck out his hand. Damn, why was i feeling nervous? We sat down and Jane and Deron had an easy conversation going. Occasionally they'd look at me, maybe sensing one of us was being left out.
After we ordered Jane got up and went to the ladies room. Deron clearly checked her out, then looked at me and smiled slightly. "Can't help it. Sorry."
"I understand."
" So i gotta ask. You're cool with this?"
I looked at him apprehensively.
"Me fucking her. "
"Well..."
"That was harsh, but let's put it out there what it is."
"Yeah." I thought for a few moments."If that's what she wants, and we all agree, yes, i'm okay. Do you really like her?"
"I'm there. She's hot. I'm up for it right now. Whenever. I can afford to be picky, but i want her."
Jane came back, and we had dinner. More small talk. Near the end.
"So when is good time for you?" He asked Jane.
She looked at me, almost like she wasn't sure.
"Well, maybe this weekend."
"Look, i want you to know. I don't want to be with you unless you're really into it with me. I think you are, but i gotta know. Do you want me?"
"Yes." He put his hand on hers, and she seemed to breath deeper.
"Do i make you wet?" She bit her lip, and i almost couldn't hear her as she said "yes".
We got up, paid the bill. I didn't realize i was paying for his food. Seemed a little bit of a jerk moved, but Jane said it was fine. After i paid i saw them hug a little.
"What did he say?"
"He wants to see me saturday."
In all this was a bit different than experiences we've had in the past. I've met guys she's seen, and most there wasn't a lot there. Still gathering thoughts about it.

[cum4me2]

I'm glad you posted your self JH, it's about time we heard from you and how you feel. At least it's the first time I'm reading something you posted anyway. Your in that strange space... something new is afoot and your still trying to get comfortable with it. The first meeting, you meeting him that is the guy she wants to fuck and who wants to fuck your wife...with your permission of course. You are right to feel that haiving you pay for his meal was a jerk move because it was...But there's also in this type of play and based on his experience with other couples, it's sometimes understood that hubby will pick up the check. I don't subscribe to this thinking at all. Dude your getting time with my wife... and you want to get into my wallet, not happening.

Like I said "BUT" depending on what your and he's accustomed to a standard needs to be set. Like I buy dinner you pay for the room. I treat for the meal you buy the drinks or at least take care of the tip. That's always an excellent indicator of a person's class level. 15% below average, 18% average, 25% very good and higher although it can be said at that point your gloating but since you didn't pay for dinner than cough up the dough. I feel in the beginning or the first stages of this thing we do it's very important to not only establish some ground rules together but also with potential lover. That doesn't always have to be verbally but men know other ways of communicating that's just as clear and effective. After all a precedent gets set about what and how everyone can expect to be treated during this seduction play, That said if talked about between the two of you later than it's a small slight that won't happen again if he intends on pursuing this further. Me I only want classy, respectful guy to spend time with my with wife.

More importantly is this what you want, is this what she wants, is this what the two of you want within your marriage. I have always been of the mind that I enjoy making my wife happy. Flowers, vacations, no reason cards or gifts etc. And I look at this like if this is something that makes her go... "oh wow honey, this is so great, I love it, I had a great time or I love that you are always making me feel so special and loved" than it's all good. Because than I know it's all about her and what I am giving her that no one else can to make her happy. Whoever the guy is and his ability to get it, get us is irrelevant as long as he's able to rock her world. Which in turn rocks my world. What it comes down to for me the better he can please her in bed the happier she is and the more I am willing to allow this to continue. Spoken like the control freak that I am.

[bubbajack]

Looks to me like three people are pretty excited for it to happen.

I am too.

I hope it works out this weekend and that one or, even better, both of you will let your devoted followers know how it goes.

[Matt2]

I have to admire your grit, JH. In all my years of being a HW hubby, pre-internet, I've NEVER ONCE had a conversation quite like that. Dating services and social hookup sites make this all possible (actually preferable)... a face-to-face meeting ostensibly to "make a new friend," but in your case to vet a potential new FB.

I would have "struggled" with it (not saying that you should as well,) regarding the crass way he came across, but that's just me. We're all different in that respect.

[Aynsley]

Thanks for sharing, JH. It is good to hear you chiming in.

And, cum4me2's thoughts are reflective of mine.

That said, IMHO, Deron sounds like he enjoys the role of being a bit of a 'Dom'...and given what I've read from you two in the past, this could play out well for you two.

I think I remember Jane saying that Deron was married. Did he share how 'he' got to the point where he's out doing other wives?

[Arctus]

I really enjoyed reading JH's experience and emotions around the interactions before and at the restaurant. I would love to read Jane's perspective on the experience as well. Clearly, the Third is a Dom, a Bull. All of the ingredients are there for a longer-term HW-Bull relationship. Afterall, he put JH on the spot by asking him point blank how JH felt about him fucking Jane. Then he put Jane on the spot in front of JH asking her to declare whether he turns Jane on or not and she said "yes." The part about having JH pay for all is more metaphoric but certainly appears to be another another Dom move. In any case, I'm waiting with bated breath to hear Jane's perspective.

[jane]

Deron isn't married. He also offered me money for his meal while David was paying, so it wasn't quite as bad as it looked. I think he has a dominant streak, but it's not quite as bad as it may have sounded in my husband's post. I'm anxious to be with him, but also feel a bit of anxiety. I think it's because of the way my husband feels, and maybe he isn't sure about hotwifing. But, i guess it is a turn on for him.
Deron is very masculine, and sexy.

[Aynsley]

Hi Jane,

I went back and re-read quite a few pages, and think I now have a real sense of where Deron is coming from. Iris and I have met a couple of...how should I say...'specialists'. Single Guys who seek out HW's.

We've become 'friends' with one of them, and he enjoys Iris both alone and with me. Unlike some other 'friends' of Iris, who I don't communicate with, I enjoy the involvement of communicating with him...so this should be a real plus for JH.

Have fun, guys. I look forward to hearing your recap about Saturday.

[Arctus]

Dear Jane:

In all such matters there is an "approach-avoidance" conflict going on. If you put a very hungry rat at the end of a run way and put a hunk of tasty cheese at the other end but place the cheese on a wire grid that the rat knows is "hot" and will shock his paws with electrical current, then the rat will run toward the cheese and when it gets close to the electrical grid, it will stop, turn around and run back midway. It will then turn around and make another charge at the cheese until it is near the wire grid again. This is a laboratory model for what is called ambivalence. Your husband certainly is experiencing some ambivalence about the Hotwife lifestyle.

However, I would add that if his post is accurate, he was the one who said, "Let's go in" when you were in the car waiting and pondering. In other words, yes... he's ambivalent but when he gets close to the attractive cheese of knowing you are soon to be taken by a Dominant Bull, rather than pulling away, he says, "Go for the cheese."

So, it would seem to me that your husband should have the right to play the "No" trump card at any time. If he says, "I cannot tolerate this" then it would make sense for you to pull back and nurture your primary relationship. On the other hand, if he says, "Go for it" then "go for it!!!" And if your choice is to go for it, it makes sense to me that he be a participant at some level... helping you get ready... being deprived specifically to help you build a head of steam for the tryst... perhaps even watching you being taken the first time by Deron. Certainly, letting your husband reclaim his territory when you return could also be a turn on. Letting him listen on the phone while you're being trysting with Deron could be another source of arousal for both of you.

But most importantly, don't forget, it was JH that said, "Let's go in..." which is only slightly different than "Let him in... inside you."

[rypmar7]

Dear Jane:

In all such matters there is an "approach-avoidance" conflict going on. If you put a very hungry rat at the end of a run way and put a hunk of tasty cheese at the other end but place the cheese on a wire grid that the rat knows is "hot" and will shock his paws with electrical current, then the rat will run toward the cheese and when it gets close to the electrical grid, it will stop, turn around and run back midway. It will then turn around and make another charge at the cheese until it is near the wire grid again. This is a laboratory model for what is called ambivalence.

However, if you put a man at one end and pussy at the other end, there will be no ambivalence. No number of shocks will keep him from his goal.

[jrandmustang]

I'm anxious to be with him, but also feel a bit of anxiety. I think it's because of the way my husband feels, and maybe he isn't sure about hotwifing. But, i guess it is a turn on for him.

First, JH, thank you for your account of your dinner. It was not only amazingly honest and real; it was also very well written. Capturing dialogue is a real skill. Capturing the nuance behind the dialogue is even more intense. If that was a screenplay, I would have been able to picture the expressions on the actors' faces.

Then, Jane -- I agree with a couple of other posters; I think your husband is ambivalent and conflicted. But not opposed. Would it be better if he was getting drunk and shouting out, "Woo-hoo! Yeah, fuck 'er dude!"? I think not. The game we're playing is much more elegant than that. I suspect he's conflicted because its hard for him to believe that he's sharing someone as precious as you, against everything he's ever been taught. And equally intoxicated with excitement for the same reason.

You've been reading some of my "Cuckolding Mind Games" thread in regards to safe words. Does JH have a safe word or signal that lets him say "time-out"? And would "time-out" for you guys mean "Stop, we've gone too far, I want to go back, I'm done forever" or just "I'm not ready for this at this moment ..."? Figure that one out. And then trust each other.

You guys rock. I can't wait to hear more.

JR

[Hotwife_Mustang]

He also offered me money for his meal while David was paying, so it wasn't quite as bad as it looked. I think he has a dominant streak, but it's not quite as bad as it may have sounded in my husband's post.

Jane, it is clear to me that Deron is an experienced Dom (or Bull) and is playing the role beautifully. The fact that he made the cuck hubby pay for his meal (bullish) can be a huge turn on to some men. And he showed his concern and understanding about potential financial stressors by offering to reimburse you. Not very many Doms I've met show that awareness and sensitivity.

I'm anxious to be with him, but also feel a bit of anxiety. I think it's because of the way my husband feels, and maybe he isn't sure about hotwifing. But, i guess it is a turn on for him. Deron is very masculine, and sexy.

I think that many of the man had good comments about your husband's feelings - sounds like ambivalence and angst are part of the cuckold emotional roller coaster. You two keep talking, and make sure that JH knows he can call a halt at anytime by whatever mechanism you two select.

My vote is that you have a keeper. Enjoy!

Mustang

[pasadena95]

The question of how the potential lover interacts with the about-to-be-cuckolded husband is a fascinating topic. Some men seek out hotwife couples and understand the dynamics, others are most uncomfortable with all of this, maybe even believing the husband might be gay. In any event, lovers who respect both the desires and wishes of the married couple are the best. There may well be a "power exchange," but these men respect the couple and are most grateful to be invited in. They will only express a dominance if this is what is desired by both husband and wife. They understand their role and do not try to take unfair advantage.

[allengt]

Deron isn't married. He also offered me money for his meal while David was paying, so it wasn't quite as bad as it looked. I think he has a dominant streak, but it's not quite as bad as it may have sounded in my husband's post. I'm anxious to be with him, but also feel a bit of anxiety. I think it's because of the way my husband feels, and maybe he isn't sure about hotwifing. But, i guess it is a turn on for him.
Deron is very masculine, and sexy.

I wish you a lot of fun and enjoyable time with Doron today. I know you will enjoy is dominace and I also wish that this is the one that you can enjoy in the way that you are looking for. When you go home share this time with your husband because I know he wants you to really have a great time but I also know that he wants you to share it with him.