Ask a Hotwife Thread, to be answered by VHWs only!

[nevertoolate]

Women by nature, no matter what the secret is, feel that they must share that secret with a close female friend. The psychology of secrets means a woman sees it as a way of allowing the truth to set us free. Keeping secrets steals our life force, makes us sick, kills relationships, and wastes our creativity.

Some experts say that people’s greatest fear is not death, suffering, or even public speaking. It is humiliation and judgment. I’ve certainly seen ample evidence of that in my life.

Your wife shared her secret with her friend because she believed that she wouldn’t judge her. But once shared, the friend had her judgment of herself, her secret, and all her related emotions in my body-mind. Both became bonded in mutual discomfort. They felt closer only because the two jointly separated themselves from the rest of the judgmental world. With the friend admiring your wife so much that she feels she can now take the same steps and not be judged.

For men however secrets are oh so different.

Thank you for that profound information. It makes much more sense now. Thank you!

My wife had shared an intimate detail about our sex life with her best friend many years ago (pegging). I was pretty shocked when she told me, but after she related that her friend thought that was nice of me to encourage that, my social shock was replaced by a rapid erection. Amazing what concerns that will cure.

[Luvmyhotwife1]

Let me first say hello to all of the hotwives on this forum. I am hoping I can get some feedback to a couple of questions that my new hotwife was wondering about concerning lovers or FB.

For the hotwives out there, do your FB or lovers always perform oral on you? Would you think it odd if he didn't, even if it hadn't been discussed as something you really enjoyed? Does your FB or lover always cum when you are with them? Has your lover or FB not been able to make your have an orgasm so you had to take care of it yourself?

Thanks again for reading and responding. Inquiring minds want to know.

[Luvmyhotwife1]

Bump

[Jerzeycuckhub]

I have a question for the HotWives...............

What is it like from a woman's perspective to be in a long term, loving relationship with a husband, but then find out that a completely different man satisfies you sexually in ways hubby could not?

[not_so_shy35]

To the hotwives, did many of you start off as being very conservative? Was your husband the only man you had been with before you started hotwifing?

I'm the only guy my girlfriend has been with and she is very conservative and doesn't even socialize much, but really wants to try another guy. If I can hear of others like her that took the plunge and loved it, I can have more hope haha.

My husband and I have been together for 20 years - we met when I was 19. I had only been with one other guy in a short term relationship before him so I had very limited sexual experience. I would say that when I met my husband I was a "good girl". I grew up in the country in an upper middle class family, always did well in school (was in University getting my degree), never smoked, rarely drank, never did drugs, never got into trouble. My hubby was a bit more "cultured" than I. He wasn't "bad, but he was from the big city, had more past sexual partners, went out drinking and partying with his friends etc. I often joke with him that he was the one who corrupted me!

I won't get into how we started out on the path to hotwifing, and where we are today (perhaps in another post), but we are both incredibly happy with the lifestyle and where we are. I am lucky to have had the opportunity to be with other men. It makes me feel so attractive, sexy and confident when other men are attracted to me. Not to mention getting to experience amazing sex (not that sex with hubby was never amazing). Back then I never would have thought in a million years that I would love being a "hotwife" (I didn't even know what it was), but now having experienced it, and knowing how it makes me feel and how much it turns hubby on, I think I may always be one.

I hope this will inspire your girlfriend!

[wykedjasmine]

Do you get turned on by having your cuckold in the same room while you fuck other men?

Do you get turned on by telling him all the details?

Can you tell if your cuckold is enjoying himself or is actually suffering?

Do you still have sex with your cuckold?

Yes I love having my huisband there....and we both get very turned on. I love describing how it feels and what is happening occasionally as he watches...adds to the intensity. IO am VERY good at reading him yes! Of course I still have sex with husband. It is too good not too!

[wykedjasmine]

For the hotwives out there, do your FB or lovers always perform oral on you? Would you think it odd if he didn't, even if it hadn't been discussed as something you really enjoyed? Does your FB or lover always cum when you are with them? Has your lover or FB not been able to make your have an orgasm so you had to take care of it yourself?

Thanks again for reading and responding. Inquiring minds want to know.

I have a very long vetting process so everything is discussed before we ever meet. If a guy does not do oral, he is disqualified and never gets to meet me. Most are really good if not I have no issues teaching them and directing them on how to please me with their mouth! I cum pretty easily so I have always gotten off with a boy. One could not get hard so I put a sheath on him and also used his mouth. at that point i will be pleasured even if their cock cannot perform! Every guy I have been with has cum!

[wykedjasmine]

What is it like from a woman's perspective to be in a long term, loving relationship with a husband, but then find out that a completely different man satisfies you sexually in ways hubby could not?

It is sexy, hot and fun for all of us!!!!! *LOL Every guy is different...I find sex with others is not "better" just different! There are things other boys can do for me my husband cannot. Different cock sizes allow for different positions...different kissing etc are all cool. My husband does things others cannot...partially because he knows me so well and what buttons to push! We do this to enjoy it and be satisfied in different ways!

[wykedjasmine]

Would you hotwives accept an opportunity to train a 30 something man who hasn't had much sexual experience?

And Would you judge him using the same parameters you would any of your other partners?

of course if you were local, willing to learn and we connected! No judging here!

[Luvmyhotwife1]

For the hotwives out there, do your FB or lovers always perform oral on you? Would you think it odd if he didn't, even if it hadn't been discussed as something you really enjoyed? Does your FB or lover always cum when you are with them? Has your lover or FB not been able to make your have an orgasm so you had to take care of it yourself?

Thanks again for reading and responding. Inquiring minds want to know.

I have a very long vetting process so everything is discussed before we ever meet. If a guy does not do oral, he is disqualified and never gets to meet me. Most are really good if not I have no issues teaching them and directing them on how to please me with their mouth! I cum pretty easily so I have always gotten off with a boy. One could not get hard so I put a sheath on him and also used his mouth. at that point i will be pleasured even if their cock cannot perform! Every guy I have been with has cum!

Thank you for responding. My hotwife is still a bit new and shy about discussing all details such as that. She thinks she had shared it with him during the long vetting process but likely didn't get very specific. Her first experience was good, but she wanted oral and when she didn't get it, it kinda threw things off for her. Such is the way of a hotwife and first times. She is so familiar with how I do things as well. She will certainly make sure the next one performs oral on her! Next up may be an erotic massage for her since touch is so vital to her.

Thanks again!

[wykedjasmine]

You are welcome Luvmyhotwife1. Some advice. I would say leave not ambiguity. She knows what she wants and MUST communicate that. By saying she "thinks" she communicated something means she probably did not. That is how misunderstandings and worse happen. Make sure she makes all her needs and wants clear here with anyone she is playing with...AND communicates clearly with you as well!

[Luvmyhotwife1]

Thank you. You are so right about her being clear about what she wants and how she wants it. This is about her and although there have been men who seem to make it more about them than the woman, everyone has their comfort level and what they will and won't do. The only way to find out? Communicate. She will do that with her potentials moving forward. I encourage her and support her and want her to get what she wants and needs. Her pleasure is my pleasure...

[ss9214]

To the hotwives, did many of you start off as being very conservative? Was your husband the only man you had been with before you started hotwifing?

I'm the only guy my girlfriend has been with and she is very conservative and doesn't even socialize much, but really wants to try another guy. If I can hear of others like her that took the plunge and loved it, I can have more hope haha.

My husband and I have been together for 20 years - we met when I was 19. I had only been with one other guy in a short term relationship before him so I had very limited sexual experience. I would say that when I met my husband I was a "good girl". I grew up in the country in an upper middle class family, always did well in school (was in University getting my degree), never smoked, rarely drank, never did drugs, never got into trouble. My hubby was a bit more "cultured" than I. He wasn't "bad, but he was from the big city, had more past sexual partners, went out drinking and partying with his friends etc. I often joke with him that he was the one who corrupted me!

I won't get into how we started out on the path to hotwifing, and where we are today (perhaps in another post), but we are both incredibly happy with the lifestyle and where we are. I am lucky to have had the opportunity to be with other men. It makes me feel so attractive, sexy and confident when other men are attracted to me. Not to mention getting to experience amazing sex (not that sex with hubby was never amazing). Back then I never would have thought in a million years that I would love being a "hotwife" (I didn't even know what it was), but now having experienced it, and knowing how it makes me feel and how much it turns hubby on, I think I may always be one.

I hope this will inspire your girlfriend!

Thanks I appreciate the reply. Both my girlfriend and I are very into the idea of trying this, she just doesn't seem ready yet so hopefully it won't take her long to be as I'm becoming way too obsessed with the cuckolding lifestyle haha.

[FWBinIndy]

Dear Verified Hotwives: An earlier discussion talked about NRE - new relationship energy. My wife is in her early 40s and she's been a shared wife for 15 years and has enjoyed sex with a good many men in that time who have caught her eye. While my Thelma has enjoyed some hot and hard flings, her specialty is flirting with men first and building up the sexual energy and hots before she decides it's time to do it.
When she does, that NRE is often intense. A few years ago, she began flirting with a firefighter she met at a local Target, (firehouse right next door to store), and then had a coffee or two, and then they began texting, and then they began fucking.
The connection was intense. At the beginning, my wife was having sex with this guy two to three times a week, (we live near the firehouse, which was very convenient!), and to say I felt neglected was an understatement.
I had been through this before, of course, the NRE when my wife begins fucking a new guy she has a strong connection to. It's always awkward for me. I admit to intensely enjoying sharing her and then being the beneficiary of the great sex I have with her in the aftermath. I usually stay quiet and bid my time because I know the intensity of NRE will wane.
With the firefighter guy, I said almost nothing like for a month, and then one day she asks, what's wrong, and I muttered something about feeling left out, and she smiled, took me to bed, and I didn't last longer than a couple of minutes when I got inside of her, I was so excited. t was only the second time we had sex since her NRE began with the firefighter guy. When I mentioned that to her afterwards, she says, `I'm sorry honey, I didn't realize it.' That's how much NRE had taken over her brain (and other places).
I've always had this awkward space between saying hardly anything to speaking up more.
My question: How do your hubbys handle NRE?

I am highly aware of how much time and energy I spend with a new guy. Your situation would not be tolerated in our relationship. While guys one the side are fun, at no time do I allow myself to be so "swept away" with NRE to that extent. IMO, it's disrespectful to my husband and our marriage to blow him off like that.

[MrsTruckstar]

Rar, rar, rar, exactly what ^ she said.
Don't let the new boy takeover your life X

[Mrs E]

No, but it probably helped that Mr E was there.

When I had my first solo playdate that probably was the closest I got to guilt, as Mr E looked a little sheepish as I left. He urged me to go, and by the time I got home, very well-fucked and happy, all was well.

[jane]

cheated ? hmm...well that's actually difficult to answer. really I just felt kind of weird. I mean I wasn't doing it without his knowledge, so I didn't have that type of feeling, but it gave me a weird feeling. it took time , the right guy, and great sex , to sort out that feeling.

[Hooker]

Simple and short: NO

[JeffBingham]

[quote="mrfunnyman21"}
At this point do you prefer/have better sex with your boyfriend than your husband?

May I jump in on this? S For me it is not a preference or better with either. It is different! I get things from my boy and I get different things from husband. I get off hard using both of them! *S And when we are all together ...well now that is better

Why are all the wives always so vague? Could you specifically define different and how they meet different needs. Can you do it without sugar coating please?[/quote]


I realize that the quoted post above is a year and a half old, but I couldn't resist. I was feeling a little bit of the same frustration reading only vague or fuzzy descriptions on what "different" feels like, or means to the ladies. But the more VHW's who chimed in, the more elusive a concrete answer appears. Then it occurred to me, it can't be defined in words just like you can't describe the difference between blue and red to someone who's been blind their whole life.

To look at it another way, there's a thread with almost 30 pages at the top of this forum trying to explain why some of us are so turned on by this lifestyle. About half seem to be living it and the other half (like me) are somewhere on the "wannabe spectrum". But there's no concrete list of reasons why, or even one reason why we want our wives to have this. It's different for every man and none of us can put it into good enough words to do the feelings justice. I've decided to stop trying to figure out the "why" and just accept that I'm a kinky dude who adores his wife. And I'm lucky enough that she plays the game with me, even if she insists she could never do it IRL. We're having loads of fun, and because of these games we've never felt closer in the 25 years we've been married!

[VSP]

OK need some help from the VHWs. My wife has obviously had some ups and downs with accepting my desire to share her. I have come to a good place with it but sometimes she still baffles me. I understand that in the heat of passion we all can get carried away but she acts like she doesn't even remember some of the things she says. This weekend we had a rare night to ourselves in a hotel in town. Per her request I had not mentioned sharing her for at least a month. I was not planning on mentioning it during our date night. However as soon as we get in the room and start fucking she says " I will fuck another man if you want me to ". For the rest of the night we fucked and talked about sharing her. She said she was OK with talking about it now and that she would consider it. It was a big step forward for us. This morning we were talking in bed and I told her how hot I thought she was this weekend. I told her I especially liked what she said when we first started fucking. She looked puzzled and asked what she had said. I told her and she kinda of dismissed it. I don't know if this is a what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas kinda thing or if she truly gets so caught up in the moment that she doesn't know what she is saying. Either way it was an incredible weekend. I am going back to letting the topic rest until the next time she brings it up. But I wanted your thoughts. Thanks

[wykedjasmine]

[quote="mrfunnyman21"}
At this point do you prefer/have better sex with your boyfriend than your husband?

May I jump in on this? S For me it is not a preference or better with either. It is different! I get things from my boy and I get different things from husband. I get off hard using both of them! *S And when we are all together ...well now that is better

Why are all the wives always so vague? Could you specifically define different and how they meet different needs. Can you do it without sugar coating please?

I realize that the quoted post above is a year and a half old, but I couldn't resist. I was feeling a little bit of the same frustration reading only vague or fuzzy descriptions on what "different" feels like, or means to the ladies. But the more VHW's who chimed in, the more elusive a concrete answer appears. Then it occurred to me, it can't be defined in words just like you can't describe the difference between blue and red to someone who's been blind their whole life.

To look at it another way, there's a thread with almost 30 pages at the top of this forum trying to explain why some of us are so turned on by this lifestyle. About half seem to be living it and the other half (like me) are somewhere on the "wannabe spectrum". But there's no concrete list of reasons why, or even one reason why we want our wives to have this. It's different for every man and none of us can put it into good enough words to do the feelings justice. I've decided to stop trying to figure out the "why" and just accept that I'm a kinky dude who adores his wife. And I'm lucky enough that she plays the game with me, even if she insists she could never do it IRL. We're having loads of fun, and because of these games we've never felt closer in the 25 years we've been married![/quote]


No problem...let me try. There was no vagueness there. You event used the word "different" in your description of why men like it!!!! what I said is I get different "things" from a partner than I do from my husband. I said nothing about feeling...but yes it is all different. My husband is great in bed, he loves worshiping my pussy and no one compares. He has a thick mushroom cock head but is thinner so "feels" different. He is my rock, and my security in life and we have been through some difficult shit together. The fucking with him is always intense. But neither of us are wired for monogamy. What do other guys bring? A sense of newness, the excitement of new and different partners. It is the varied way some kiss, the varied ways they stimulate me intellectually. Every guy brings a different energy, and sexual energy to a relationship. Typically I go for much younger guys so that is a thrill for me. Typically they have bigger cocks...and different shaped cocks...all do feel different. Being with a new person, learning what makes them tick...what turns them on, and for me being a Femdom, what they fear

As to my husband...why he likes it? As i said above...neither of us are wired for monogamy (I think like 75% of our population thus the 52% divorce rate!) He loves seeing me happy and pleasured. I love seeing him with others too! It its called compersion...wanting to see your partner pleasured by others. It turns us on because we know the person we love the most is happy and pleasured. Again as above he knows he cannot do things some of these younger guys can. ie we do a ton of rope bondage...husband is not all that flexible so others can do that for me...and he is happy I get to learn and tie...AND he can help me as well when tying on others!

I would say as we journey down this road, we do ask many of these same questions. what is comes down to is who cares. If I like frozen yogert and you prefer sa6y banana split...or if you like biking and I like running...who cares? do we analyze why that is? No it is just who we are and how we are wired! If Why does it matter? If we are consenting adults and we like it...other than society being judgmental why are we so concerned?

hope that helps!!!! ~WJ

[tacoshare]

No problem...let me try. There was no vagueness there. You event used the word "different" in your description of why men like it!!!! what I said is I get different "things" from a partner than I do from my husband. I said nothing about feeling...but yes it is all different. My husband is great in bed, he loves worshiping my pussy and no one compares. He has a thick mushroom cock head but is thinner so "feels" different. He is my rock, and my security in life and we have been through some difficult shit together. The fucking with him is always intense. But neither of us are wired for monogamy. What do other guys bring? A sense of newness, the excitement of new and different partners. It is the varied way some kiss, the varied ways they stimulate me intellectually. Every guy brings a different energy, and sexual energy to a relationship. Typically I go for much younger guys so that is a thrill for me. Typically they have bigger cocks...and different shaped cocks...all do feel different. Being with a new person, learning what makes them tick...what turns them on, and for me being a Femdom, what they fear

This is all so well said.
I don't go for younger guys but I can't add much to this. My husband is amazing and totally rocks my world but there is a lot of fun in new boys. I don't do a lot of the BDSM that WJ does but I do like to be in charge and push their buttons as I get to know them. I don't think we're wired for monogamy either. We keep evolving in our non-mono ways. It's an interesting ride

So as for meeting different needs.... in all honesty, my husband can meet all my sexual needs. All of them. He did for years all by his little lonesome even though there are times I'm an insatiable bear. I don't want to wear him out though, he's my favorite. The boys add in a sense of newness, excitement, and fun. For me, straight up, they fill a desire for fun and wildness, but not a need.

[tacoshare]

VSP - I can't even begin to speculate....well. I could speculate but I don't know. I sometimes say wild things during sex that I might not remember all of, especially if it's during a particularly crazy orgasm. However, usually those are weird utterances. I remember the feelings but maybe not the exact words and they're not promises to fuck other men ( I remember that promise). Each woman is different. Only your wife knows for sure and if she's unwilling to talk... Speculation, it could be that she's waking up to that desire but not ready to talk about when not drunk on an orgasm. Time and patience if you can't talk it out in the light of day.

I'm glad you had an amazing weekend though.

[Hooker]

Jeff, different simple means that, different. In tons of subtle and also big ways, and listing them seems to be a dead end.

Your boss, coworkers, hairdresser, mechanic, postman, they are all different, right? Would you care to go into details? How far is that going to take you? Are you trying to be ambiguous?

Probably not, it just happens they ARE different.

You want to hear that they are BETTER and they probably are in some ways to our hubis. One knows more about english literature, another has nicer abs, and a third one wears an arousing perfume. But as a package hubis tend to be the best as they are more rounded up for us?

[JeffBingham]

WJ and Taco, thank you both for such clear responses, and for all the time you invest in this thread to help newbies like me. The way you described the "different" aspect perfectly sums up why I want this for my wife. Her being able to do this for herself and for US is what I'm hoping for. I know I rock her world in bed and that she doesn't "need" anything more or different. But I also know that the different things she could experience could be extremely pleasurable for her, and it's her pleasure that I want the most. Her pleasure is the most exciting thing in the world to me - always has been.

I actually use the word "different" a lot when we're talking and fantasizing in bed together, but the way you put it into words was just perfect. I'd love for her to experience that excitement and pleasure of different kissing, sexual techniques, energy, and how other cocks feel. The rush of fucking another man, knowing it's totally OK to let go of her fears and insecurities and let the pure excitement and pleasure take her over completely.

WJ, even the physical description of your husband fits me to a T. Average 6" length, not that thick, but with a very fat head.

Thanks again. You guys are awesome!