Anyone successfully contacted their wife's ex from years ago?

[MarknSusan]

Hang in there LawyerWouldbeCuckold…..theres a hotwife out there for you…just dont give up.

[snoogaloo82]

My wife and I have run across 2 boyfriends she dated long before we met. After she introduced me to them as her husband, it was obvious that they used to fuck her by trying to act as though they were not her girlfriend. I didn't give a shit.

My wife ran across a former boyfriend while she was shopping at a mall. He hit on her. I couldn't fault him. I'm sure she was the best sex he ever had. My wife shut him down.

My wife has told me more that once with complete conviction that she had no desire to fuck any dudes she fucked before we met.

When women are done and over with men they used to date, there's no going back for them.

I think that's a good point; and for the most part, accurate. I mean, there are exceptions to every "rule", but when I think about the women I was in relationships with previously, even if I ran across them again and they were single, I'm not sure they would want to take a ride down memory lane, for lack of a better term.

But when it comes to ethical non-monogamy....some (not all) bets are off. There's more than a few posters on this thread and others were an ex has come back into the picture.

There's no one-size-fits-all. Everyone has to find out what works in their own dynamic.

IMO….LawyerWouldbeCuckold your last sentence accurately describes pretty much all NM relationships.

I appreciate the compliment...especially since I'm not in ANY relationship right now, either M or NM......lol.....broke up with my fiancee about a year ago; on the prowl, but have not found anyone yet; and also wanting to make sure I don't get into a "rebound" situation.

TY again for the compliment.

I wish you guys only my best.

[Tank Turner]

Hi Lawyer,

I completely agree. Everyone has established parameters within which they operate. Our parameters are defined by our adolescent kids. We will not engage in any activity that has probability of exposing our kids to their angelic mom as a bedroom porn star. What works for us is probably not workable for others.

It's common for exes to reunite because it was comfortable for them, so they assume that comfort still exists.

More than anything, elapsed time has caused my wife to lose interest in long ago boyfriends. She would not know if they're the same persons now that they were when she dated them.

My wife and I have run across a couple of her long ago boyfriends. After cordial exchanges, my wife was ready to bail.

I have no interest in reconnecting my long ago girlfriends. Well, maybe one whose sexuality was identical to my wife's. The reality is I wouldn't attempt to contact her.

[hedonistcouple]

Hedonistcouple have you made any progress?

No I haven't. I have been reading all the posts with interest. I fully expected the 'don't go back, they're ex's for a reason posts' and those people may well be right but I do feel that our cirumstances are kinda unique.

My wife had married her first lover when she was very young and he left her when she was just 21. She then had a period when she had the sort of sex she might have had as a single teenager had she not married so young. From the age of 21 to meeting me at age 27 she had 2 short-term boyfriends, then lived with a guy for 2yrs 7 months and then married another guy for 2 years 8 months. During those 4 relationships she had a brief affair and 4 one night stands.

Every time my wife has been with a man, apart from her second husband, it has been down to a spontaneous, spur of the moment attraction. When we first got together she was cheating on her second husband and our fantasy pillow talk started off with discussing an mfm, then me watching her with a guy, then her fucking a guy alone.

The fucking-alone chat neatly dovetailed into me inadvertently stumbling into the world of hotpast, well before it actually had a name and a Reddit following. Her confessions about what she'd done when these 7 different guys (the affair, the 2 bfs and the 4 ons) drove me wild. They were a treasure trove of sexual experiences that made me understand how horny my wife can be and how her mind works towards men in a sexual situation. I was the first, and only, man to hear exactly how filthy she had been. Her confessions were a catalyst to us going to clubs where she had 16 men and 4 women over a 20 year period.

After we became parents, going to clubs was very difficult and we converted a vanilla friend of mine so that she could fuck in the comfort of our own home, with the added benefit of bareback as she hates condoms. This friend is no longer in the country and we need to replace him. We thought we'd managed this when she invited another recently single, vanilla guy who she met walking the dog. After a shaky start when he was keen then got cold feet! he eventually fucked her 3 times before saying that he was starting again with the girl he'd split from when she first met him.

The ex that I'm considering contacting is the first guy she met when her first husband left her. He was her bf for around 6 months and he's the one who she says is her all time best lover. My wife responds best to spontaneous meetings which is why she liked going to clubs and has always refused to use apps and websites as she hates anything premeditated and staged.

I know that this sounds strange but although she has always refused to contact any ex's, I know that she would definitely be excited if we met one in a social situation or at a club as she would see that as serendipity because that's how her mind works. I know this from years of experience of being with her and also due to the nature of some of the ons's that she had before we met.

While this guy has always been on my wish-list to meet, I never thought I would be able to approach him without being too embarrassed or blowing our enm cover, but then earlier this year, my wife and I were watching a movie where the wife from a stag & vixen couple came on to a vanilla guy and she told me that the same thing had happened to this guy many years ago just before she met him. He'd told her the story and how flattered he had been.

This is what's inspired me to at least consider contacting him. I just feel that I need to get that 'what-if' feeling out of my head and sometimes risks need to be taken to make progress.

[Wesley Hudson Valley]

Hello hedonistcouple. As you mentioned at least consider contacting him. Times are changing and from my wife and I experience worth trying

[hedonistcouple]

Times are changing

Yes, times are changing and enm is getting more and more exposure in the media, documentaries and film. We are light years away from 1994 when I started reading the original HW forum on Biancas's back in 1994.

I just need a way to start a conversation with this guy without compromising myself and it's not easy trying to work out the best way. He made my wife a beautiful piece of artwork which she still has and I did wonder if it might be worth asking him if he was able to do some renovation work on it as a conversation starter.

I need to find out if he's single and suss him out as a person before I even consider telling him my intentions.

[Wesley Hudson Valley]

Asking him to do some renovation work is a wonderful conversation starter while mentioning how much your wife likes that Artwork. It would also help her ex’s confidence if you mentioned your wife views him in a positive light Does your wife mention if he was good in bed during pillow talk

[hedonistcouple]

Does your wife mention if he was good in bed during pillow talk

When we first met she said that he was the best. I asked her again a few months ago and she said there’s still never been anyone better than him. I asked why, and she said that it was probably the shape of his penis but that he also had a special technique. Considering that he was the second of 30 lovers you can see why I’m so fascinated by him.

[MarknSusan]

Hedonistcouple have you made any progress?

No I haven't. I have been reading all the posts with interest. I fully expected the 'don't go back, they're ex's for a reason posts' and those people may well be right but I do feel that our cirumstances are kinda unique.

My wife had married her first lover when she was very young and he left her when she was just 21. She then had a period when she had the sort of sex she might have had as a single teenager had she not married so young. From the age of 21 to meeting me at age 27 she had 2 short-term boyfriends, then lived with a guy for 2yrs 7 months and then married another guy for 2 years 8 months. During those 4 relationships she had a brief affair and 4 one night stands.

Every time my wife has been with a man, apart from her second husband, it has been down to a spontaneous, spur of the moment attraction. When we first got together she was cheating on her second husband and our fantasy pillow talk started off with discussing an mfm, then me watching her with a guy, then her fucking a guy alone.

The fucking-alone chat neatly dovetailed into me inadvertently stumbling into the world of hotpast, well before it actually had a name and a Reddit following. Her confessions about what she'd done when these 7 different guys (the affair, the 2 bfs and the 4 ons) drove me wild. They were a treasure trove of sexual experiences that made me understand how horny my wife can be and how her mind works towards men in a sexual situation. I was the first, and only, man to hear exactly how filthy she had been. Her confessions were a catalyst to us going to clubs where she had 16 men and 4 women over a 20 year period.

After we became parents, going to clubs was very difficult and we converted a vanilla friend of mine so that she could fuck in the comfort of our own home, with the added benefit of bareback as she hates condoms. This friend is no longer in the country and we need to replace him. We thought we'd managed this when she invited another recently single, vanilla guy who she met walking the dog. After a shaky start when he was keen then got cold feet! he eventually fucked her 3 times before saying that he was starting again with the girl he'd split from when she first met him.

The ex that I'm considering contacting is the first guy she met when her first husband left her. He was her bf for around 6 months and he's the one who she says is her all time best lover. My wife responds best to spontaneous meetings which is why she liked going to clubs and has always refused to use apps and websites as she hates anything premeditated and staged.

I know that this sounds strange but although she has always refused to contact any ex's, I know that she would definitely be excited if we met one in a social situation or at a club as she would see that as serendipity because that's how her mind works. I know this from years of experience of being with her and also due to the nature of some of the ons's that she had before we met.

While this guy has always been on my wish-list to meet, I never thought I would be able to approach him without being too embarrassed or blowing our enm cover, but then earlier this year, my wife and I were watching a movie where the wife from a stag & vixen couple came on to a vanilla guy and she told me that the same thing had happened to this guy many years ago just before she met him. He'd told her the story and how flattered he had been.

This is what's inspired me to at least consider contacting him. I just feel that I need to get that 'what-if' feeling out of my head and sometimes risks need to be taken to make progress.

Thank you for providing that background. I better understand why you want to try and get him together with your wife.

I hope whatever plan you come up with works.

[Wesley Hudson Valley]

There is something special with setting your wife up wife another man especially if he was the best at pleasuring her in bed. That is a true sign of love and devolution on your part

[hedonistcouple]

There is something special with setting your wife up wife another man especially if he was the best at pleasuring her in bed. That is a true sign of love and devolution on your part

She told me that he was the sweetest, kindest guy but they were at different places in their life journey when they met. She was only 21, had just come out of an unhappy marriage and wanted to have fun as she'd only had one boyfriend, whereas he was 36 and was ready to settle down.

[DA32]

If you're going to proceed with this I recommend you do so with A LOT of caution. It's one thing to connect with an old friend of hers, another to reach out to a past lover.

[hedonistcouple]

If you're going to proceed with this I recommend you do so with A LOT of caution. It's one thing to connect with an old friend of hers, another to reach out to a past lover.

You are absolutely right and my intention is to find a way of connecting with him in a way that is totally unconnected from my wife and our Hotwife activities.

As I mentioned previously, this guy is an artist and I am considering going to his studio to browse at his work, strike up a conversation and see where that takes me. I intend to play the long game and see if I can get to know him before I even think about whether I should reveal that I am married to his ex or not.

[MarknSusan]

If you're going to proceed with this I recommend you do so with A LOT of caution. It's one thing to connect with an old friend of hers, another to reach out to a past lover.

You are absolutely right and my intention is to find a way of connecting with him in a way that is totally unconnected from my wife and our Hotwife activities.

As I mentioned previously, this guy is an artist and I am considering going to his studio to browse at his work, strike up a conversation and see where that takes me. I intend to play the long game and see if I can get to know him before I even think about whether I should reveal that I am married to his ex or not.

Hedonistcouple you are getting rather creative with this how you are going to approach this guy.

So here I was originally saying it was a creepy idea, but now it’s sounding very plausible. I guess I need to apologize again to you..LOL

Why not just take the piece of art to his shop and let him know your wife always considered it a special work of art and you want to surprise her by having it reburbished by the original artist.

[Long Lurker 34]

If you're going to proceed with this I recommend you do so with A LOT of caution. It's one thing to connect with an old friend of hers, another to reach out to a past lover.

You are absolutely right and my intention is to find a way of connecting with him in a way that is totally unconnected from my wife and our Hotwife activities.

As I mentioned previously, this guy is an artist and I am considering going to his studio to browse at his work, strike up a conversation and see where that takes me. I intend to play the long game and see if I can get to know him before I even think about whether I should reveal that I am married to his ex or not.

Hedonistcouple you are getting rather creative with this how you are going to approach this guy.

So here I was originally saying it was a creepy idea, but now it’s sounding very plausible. I guess I need to apologize again to you..LOL

Why not just take the piece of art to his shop and let him know your wife always considered it a special work of art and you want to surprise her by having it reburbished by the original artist.

HC - Once again with M&S on this, on both counts.

[hedonistcouple]

He made this piece of art for her when she was 22 but when she married her second husband when she was 25 she had to put it in storage at her parent's home as he wouldn't allow anything to with an ex in the house. He was a controlling creep, who also made her throw away all her underwear that she'd worn while with previous lovers. She actually only threw a few old sets away and lied to him about the rest. You can see how this guy was the complete opposite to me!

When she eventually left him and got her own place she placed it on the wall in pride of place. After I moved in with her we had it hanging over our bed and I have the pleasure of seeing it every day. It's so erotic to have a reminder of the man who she had the all-time best sex with.

[eb4cplslooking]

"Yes, times are changing and enm is getting more and more exposure in the media, documentaries and film. We are light years away from 1994 when I started reading the original HW forum on Biancas's back in 1994"

Also a Bianca forum alum too!

[snoogaloo82]

"Yes, times are changing and enm is getting more and more exposure in the media, documentaries and film. We are light years away from 1994 when I started reading the original HW forum on Biancas's back in 1994"

Also a Bianca forum alum too!

It's a real shame that Bianca had to shut down it's day to day operation. It sounds like it was a wild place to be able to say what you think. There sure could some more of those kinds of sites in this world, but I don't think the world is ready for such a place...yet.

[bladeage10]

I tried and when she was finally on board from all the hot dirty talk about him during sex, and he had a huge cock so I looked him up. Unfortunately I found out he died a couple of years ago. So that was kinda heartbreaking for her because they were friends since they were kids but they hadn't spoken in over a decade.

[snoogaloo82]

I tried and when she was finally on board from all the hot dirty talk about him during sex, and he had a huge cock so I looked him up. Unfortunately I found out he died a couple of years ago. So that was kinda heartbreaking for her because they were friends since they were kids but they hadn't spoken in over a decade.

My condolences for those who were affected by his death!!

[Thebestdays1]

My ex wife contacted an old lover of hers about 8 years ago after finding him on FB. He was actually her elder sister's lover, despite being married at the time.
He was with the SIL for about five years but whenever I was working overseas my wife would stay with her mum and sister and he would pop round during his lunch break to see her. His cum was the first from another man that I ever tasted after going down on the SIL after he'd left her frustrated one evening.
Anyway, they started emailing each other and sending erotic photo's and videos of them masturbating and my ex would forward them on to me to read.
It was great fun reading their memories about their earlier encounters together and hearing him compare her to her sister and she knew how much I used to love that he fancied my wife more than her sister. Very soon they were arranging to meet up and I was able to read their emails where they spoke about their recent encounters. I even read the one where she told him I'd eaten his cum from her sister. He thought I was a mug but was surprised that she was okay with me going down on her sister. She told him about our arrangement at the time and that when her sister used to blow him after work and spit his cum onto her tits, it was so that I would lick them clean when she got home.
He was totally surprised by this and said if he'd known, he'd have come around after work when there would have just been the four of us at home and fucked both of them in front of me and got me to clean both of them up in front of him. She told him about my cocksucking history too, knowing that I'd be completely humiliated reading that and his reply was that he'd have made me blow him too.
Their relationship only lasted about 6 months and they only met up a few times but it was so exciting hearing them talk about the past and seeing so many videos of him masturbating about her.

[silky nylons]

Ump

[silky nylons]

Bump

[snoogaloo82]

Unfortunately she wasn't that active, but she did have two boys from the guy. He's allusive, but I'm hopeful that some day I'll get in touch with him eventually. Anyone ever get in contact with an ex who's on a different continent?

[isinlarsa]

I was the ex. I had had a lover after the end of my first marriage. Tall, blonde, slim with nice boobs: very athletic. Our relationship lasted three years, but she ended up meeting a man, falling in love with him and getting married to him. So ended our relationship -- or so I thought.

A few years later, I get a call from her out of the blue, telling me that her husband was out-of-town for the weekend, and would I like to go away with her for the weekend. She didn't have to ask twice.

That reignited our sexual relationship. Every once in a while she would call when her husband was gone, and we would get together. It turned she and her husband had a "don't ask, don't tell" policy. I wasn't the only one she would hook up with, so she became a hotwife -- but not mine. Since she couldn't share her extramarital adventures with her husband, she ended up sharing them with me.

We would see each other several times a year for a decade until I got married.