"Why would a guy want his wife to sleep with another man"

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SailorGuy
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Re: "Why would a guy want his wife to sleep with another man"

Unread post by SailorGuy » Tue Sep 17, 2019 10:34 am

My very first "girlfriend" ( the first girl I had sex with, and with whom I thought I was in love ) was taken from me about an hour I first had sex with her. I was 15 going on 16.
Like most people's first time ours was not very smooth or erotic, more stumbling about than anything. It was daytime in somebody's house, parents gone, and we'd all been drinking. Afterwards she fell asleep. I ventured out to the living room, all aglow after having "done it" at last. But while I was out there with friends another guy snuck back to the bedroom where my girlfriend was asleep. When I went back to check on her the door was closed and locked. From within I heard her moans and cries and her "yes! yes! YES!" as this other guy was obviously banging the crap out of her. I was distressed by this. But I was also aroused and accepting of it. A little while later this other guy - a year older than I and definitely an Alpha to my Beta - came out of the bedroom and gave me a look that said he had taken my girl. And I was okay with it.
And then I can now reflect that every time I lost a girl to another guy I felt the same way - heartbroken, aroused, and at peace with it.
So I finally get married and now something like that can never happen again? Hah!
I will never know if my wife would ever have cheated on me, though I'm pretty sure she wouldn't. She is conservative and devoted and kind-hearted. But I instigated the fantasy. I wanted my wife to "cheat" on me. Only I didn't use that word when I told her. I just wanted her to have another lover. And so after a few years of pillow talk it finally actually happened, and I was thrilled. And at peace with myself about it. I am wired to be a cuckold, and lucky to have a loving and devoted wife who has made that happen.

imahotwife
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Re: "Why would a guy want his wife to sleep with another man"

Unread post by imahotwife » Sat Sep 21, 2019 3:57 pm

I wish my husband would let me do this someday. He's my first and only sexual partner, and after a few years of marriage I feel like if I only fuck one person in my life then I'm missing out on so many things. I'm still really young and hot and I guess that's why he won't let me go out have sex with other men, fearing that they might give me better, stronger orgasms than he can give me, that I might enjoy having sex with other people than him. I just wish he could understand your mindset and reasonings and let me freely explore my sexuality in any way I choose.

armyguyot1
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Re: "Why would a guy want his wife to sleep with another man"

Unread post by armyguyot1 » Sat Sep 21, 2019 5:21 pm

Welcome to the forum imahotwife.

EveNL
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Re: "Why would a guy want his wife to sleep with another man"

Unread post by EveNL » Sun Sep 22, 2019 11:42 am

Hi, I'm new to this forum and I'm looking forward to join the conversation.
The whole hotwife-thing is new to me. My husband would like it if I would consider it, and I'm thinking about it.
Most of it are practical obstacles.

SailorGuy
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Re: "Why would a guy want his wife to sleep with another man"

Unread post by SailorGuy » Mon Sep 23, 2019 10:35 am

EveNL wrote:
Sun Sep 22, 2019 11:42 am
Hi, I'm new to this forum and I'm looking forward to join the conversation.
The whole hotwife-thing is new to me. My husband would like it if I would consider it, and I'm thinking about it.
Most of it are practical obstacles.
[/quotWelcome!
Well if you're like many wives here you may be at first a bit confused by your husband's desires. I know mine was! And, speaking as a husband, I have never had any idea where my fantasy came from. All I know is that the notion arose in me, long ago, and I couldn't restrain myself from telling my wife about it. It's a big step! The whole thing involves and hinges upon trust and good communication. And then, if you're both on board with it, you are free to explore. As the husband of a hotwife I can assure you it is the highest high I have ever experienced. And is quite sincere: I have had NO desire to sleep with another woman myself; the whole thing is about my wife - the woman I love - having another lover. My wife has made me, her lover and herself quite happy by making my fantasy a reality.

EveNL
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Re: "Why would a guy want his wife to sleep with another man"

Unread post by EveNL » Wed Sep 25, 2019 11:10 am

Thanks for your reply :)

I have a question though: I would like to be verified so I can access the "women-only" forum (seems nice to be amongst girls for this). As I understand I am supposed to send Allengt a PM. I have no clue how to do that however...

early-kink
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Re: "Why would a guy want his wife to sleep with another man"

Unread post by early-kink » Wed Sep 25, 2019 3:23 pm

EveNL - If you have posted here - you have by the above post - look at the top right of the page where it says "private messages". Click on that and then click the box that says new PM. Then in the "recipients" bar, type in Allengt,EveNL Then just type your message that you want to be verified and hit "submit".

EveNL
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Re: "Why would a guy want his wife to sleep with another man"

Unread post by EveNL » Thu Sep 26, 2019 4:58 am

Thanks. The option wasn't there before, for some reason but now it is!

Tandacouple3
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Re: "Why would a guy want his wife to sleep with another man"

Unread post by Tandacouple3 » Fri Sep 27, 2019 3:49 am

imahotwife wrote:
Sat Sep 21, 2019 3:57 pm
I wish my husband would let me do this someday. He's my first and only sexual partner, and after a few years of marriage I feel like if I only fuck one person in my life then I'm missing out on so many things. I'm still really young and hot and I guess that's why he won't let me go out have sex with other men, fearing that they might give me better, stronger orgasms than he can give me, that I might enjoy having sex with other people than him. I just wish he could understand your mindset and reasonings and let me freely explore my sexuality in any way I choose.
Just curious if you talk openly about sex in general. From your last sentence it would appear as though you never discussed it and if you change it to include him in the visioning you may get there...or you need to be single. From my experience a majority of women don't watch or endorse porn. Consider watching porn and watching what would turn him on, but include titles with hotwife\cuckold porn. If porn is not your thing, learn to talk dirty in bed and ask his fantasies first and then add your themes. You mention the theme that he won't let you go out and have sex with other men but have you asked him for threesomes with him involved?

early-kink
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Re: "Why would a guy want his wife to sleep with another man"

Unread post by early-kink » Sun Sep 29, 2019 2:43 pm

imahotwife - From my own married experience, I can tell you this - get everything out on the table!!! Any topic at all, but especially sex. If you have a need or your husband has a need, and neither of you express it - BAD things happen. Negative feelings, feeling ignored - not cared for - indifference ……… that stuff builds up and eventually someone explodes. Fighting, arguing, then probable divorce. Lots of pain and hurt.

No matter what the problem, need, desire, or concern is - they are 100% easier to deal with if it's all out in the open. As an example: when I was younger, I had a girlfriend who cheated on me behind my back. Very painful and the relationship didn't survive it. Turns out she had a high drive and she needed to explore & have more experiences. If she'd have come to me and said, "I need to talk to you about something." and then explained what she had in mind and needed, I'd have been better able to deal with it. We got along in most other ways, so it may have worked. But being open and honest is ALWAYS the best way to go.

stevens4fun
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Re: "Why would a guy want his wife to sleep with another man"

Unread post by stevens4fun » Mon Sep 30, 2019 7:24 am

Dharmadude nails it - that's exactly how my wife thinks! Long story short: one afternoon after a business meeting in a luxury hotel suite, my wife found herself the only female remaining with 5 or 6 guys. This was early in our marriage, perfect timing. Alcohol was being consumed and management had departed. Innuendos were flying, touching was taking place and soon a large finger was in her vagina (under her skirt) as other men were feeling her breasts, thighs, and kissing her. She decided that she didn't want to always wonder what it would have been like and she went with it - let it happen. Her first of many orgasms was with the guy whose fingers were working their magic in and on her vagina. To this day we don't know how many men came in her (or how many times they came in her) that afternoon before I got there and enjoyed her myself. It still excites both of us thinking about it and talking about it.

Dharmadude wrote:
Fri Sep 06, 2019 8:11 am
Love the idea of her meeting someone and having an immediate attraction to their energy. Then acting on it right in that moment instead of saying, “I wonder what that would have been like?”

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Dharmadude
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Re: "Why would a guy want his wife to sleep with another man"

Unread post by Dharmadude » Mon Sep 30, 2019 7:44 am

Wow! That is perfect. So happy for her that she (and obviously you supporting her) just went with it and allowed it to happen. Better to have memories than regrets.

OZCPL
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Re: "Why would a guy want his wife to sleep with another man"

Unread post by OZCPL » Tue Oct 08, 2019 1:28 am

Tandacouple3 wrote:
Fri Sep 27, 2019 3:49 am
imahotwife wrote:
Sat Sep 21, 2019 3:57 pm
I wish my husband would let me do this someday. He's my first and only sexual partner, and after a few years of marriage I feel like if I only fuck one person in my life then I'm missing out on so many things. I'm still really young and hot and I guess that's why he won't let me go out have sex with other men, fearing that they might give me better, stronger orgasms than he can give me, that I might enjoy having sex with other people than him. I just wish he could understand your mindset and reasonings and let me freely explore my sexuality in any way I choose.
Just curious if you talk openly about sex in general. From your last sentence it would appear as though you never discussed it and if you change it to include him in the visioning you may get there...or you need to be single. From my experience a majority of women don't watch or endorse porn. Consider watching porn and watching what would turn him on, but include titles with hotwife\cuckold porn. If porn is not your thing, learn to talk dirty in bed and ask his fantasies first and then add your themes. You mention the theme that he won't let you go out and have sex with other men but have you asked him for threesomes with him involved?
:up:
Yes imahotwife you should do it now while you are still young. However I believe there is a trap for young women who do get to go out and experience sex with other men. The sex will be better than with your husband ( see three marriage enigmas). Then when you are having such fun the tendency can be to forget that your husband is really your soul partner and regardless of who fucks who and whatever else goes on the best game plan could be for you both to stay together and care for each other. Way down the path of life having a life long supportive partner can be the best tactic. Have fun hot young lady but be smart to.

moneyhoney
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Re: "Why would a guy want his wife to sleep with another man"

Unread post by moneyhoney » Tue Oct 08, 2019 5:34 pm

I am curious about this lifestyle but also very conflicted. My husband really wants us to experiment with me having sex with other men but I feel like there needs to be a chemistry and some relational connection. How can I get past these issues and just take the plunge? I need some advice

armyguyot1
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Re: "Why would a guy want his wife to sleep with another man"

Unread post by armyguyot1 » Tue Oct 08, 2019 5:53 pm

Welcome to the forum moneyhoney.

SailorGuy
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Re: "Why would a guy want his wife to sleep with another man"

Unread post by SailorGuy » Wed Oct 09, 2019 8:53 am

moneyhoney wrote:
Tue Oct 08, 2019 5:34 pm
I am curious about this lifestyle but also very conflicted. My husband really wants us to experiment with me having sex with other men but I feel like there needs to be a chemistry and some relational connection. How can I get past these issues and just take the plunge? I need some advice
Hi - as a husband who asked his wife to have another lover I think my wife felt the same kind of things as you. After telling her about my fantasy I didn't pressure her at all. We both developed a real nice pillow talk as part of our lovemaking. It was amazing how it jazzed up our sex life. But we were never going to force the issue and go out and make it happen somehow with some stranger. The fantasy was pretty damned inspiring, and for several years.
Funny how the universe works: as if all that pillow talk had primed my wife for something, a man we'd already known for several years suddenly came into our lives in a new way.
He was a neighbor and casual friend whose daughter went to the same school as ours. He and his wife and daughter came to our house for dinner and playdates from time to time. What we didn't know was that this man had fallen crazy in love with my wife from the moment he first laid eyes on her. He never hinted at anything, and we never suspected a thing.
After a few years of this the man's wife ran off with another man. But he continued coming over with his daughter so she could continue her friendship with our daughter. One weekend when I was out of town he was over, and as the kids played outside my wife and he shared a drink in the house. As my wife described it, when he arose to leave she gave him a nice hug. She felt a huge surge of energy arc between them - as well as his cock thrusting to attention pressed against her. They kissed - passionately. And after he pulled away he asked if he could see her alone, later that night. My wife agreed. And, sure enough, late that night after everyone was asleep the man returned to our house. My wife met him at the door. They kissed passionately again and then she led him down the hall to our bedroom. And there they consummated my fantasy and their newfound lust for each other.
It was perfect: someone we already knew and trusted and liked, someone my wife cared about. And on the purely sexual side: the man was really well-hung, thrilling both my wife and myself. He gave my dear wife the best flat-out fuck she'd ever had.
So I consider us very fortunate. My fantasy fulfilled, and my wife has another man in her life. And after 20 years the relationship continues.

2inUPMichigan
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Re: "Why would a guy want his wife to sleep with another man"

Unread post by 2inUPMichigan » Wed Oct 09, 2019 2:24 pm

moneyhoney wrote:
Tue Oct 08, 2019 5:34 pm
I am curious about this lifestyle but also very conflicted. My husband really wants us to experiment with me having sex with other men but I feel like there needs to be a chemistry and some relational connection. How can I get past these issues and just take the plunge? I need some advice
There is no reason that you can't have both!!
You should never put aside your need for a connection if that is what is important to you.

For me personally I could not play (have sex) with a man without some kind of connection- just never going to happen. That doesn't mean I have to be in love with him, but I need to like him and trust him and also feel that I am safe with him. I will never be the type that has one night stands or go to a bar trying to meet a man. That doesn't work for me.
I joined an online swinger site (SLS) and text with these guys before I meet them in person so that I am comfortable and know we are compatible before seeing them.

You are not alone :D There are quite a few hotwives on this board that talk about wanting and needing a connection with men before playing with them.
It is a big step and not one to be taken lightly.
I told my husband that I needed to feel a connection and he was surprised :lol:
I had to explain to him that there was no way I was going to be comfortable having sex with random men that I didn't know or trust. I have to be able to relax.


Please consider becoming verified as a hotwife so that you can join us in the hidden lounge area for hotwives only. In the meantime all of the verified hotwives names are bright blue in case you want to reach out to us - you can be assured you are speaking with a woman ;)

early-kink
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Re: "Why would a guy want his wife to sleep with another man"

Unread post by early-kink » Sat Oct 19, 2019 7:41 am

Super advice by 2inUP. ^^^^

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Re: "Why would a guy want his wife to sleep with another man"

Unread post by atlsub292 » Sun Oct 20, 2019 1:27 pm

I always believed in making my wife happy. I was not always sure I succeeded in doing that for her sexually. I was more than happy to see her date and have sex with other men. She always seemed to like the variety and the freedom. I was open minded enough to give her those opportunities and she has always appreciated it. I also loved the idea of being submissive to her and her alpha male boyfriends.

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Des 31
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Re: "Why would a guy want his wife to sleep with another man"

Unread post by Des 31 » Sun Oct 27, 2019 1:02 pm

early-kink wrote:
Fri Sep 13, 2019 9:10 am
I'm too new here to know how the quote function works.
But I know exactly what Sailorguy meant when he said, "Ah ….. THAT is the million dollar question, etc., etc."

I think one has to have deep feelings for the woman in your life to feel the pangs of jealousy, hurt, agony, fear, and such - to have it be arousing to the man. If I dated some woman for a month or so and had no real deep feelings for her yet, knowing she bedded another guy wouldn't have the same arousal factor. I have NO IDEA why that is. But just the mental thought and/or picture of my wife having a sexual holiday vacation with a new guy she found hot would have me like a steel rod. So I think deep love and feelings have a role to play in the arousal aspect.

I've read articles stating that there's a biological factor at play in this arousal going back thousands of years. "Sperm competition" as it's called is a natural biological response to the thought or knowledge that "our" woman has been with another male. Researchers say a male's natural response is to become VERY aroused & hard, and want to vigorously "re-claim" her by extremely aroused intercourse to ejaculate a larger quantity of sperm into her. The idea being that the "re-claimer's" sperm are more numerous and will outswim the "invader's" sperm to fertilize her egg. Science.

I have no idea if that theory is accurate, but I know the thought of my wife being with another guy gets me sizzling hot. The agony and angst of that happening is at once painful …… and at the same time DELICIOUS !! I don't understand the whole dynamic - but it's very real.
My wife and I have come across several articles by analysts theorizing sperm competition along with a variety of other research conclusions. She even has an opinion by a psychologist who she visited to settle her concern that she might be becoming a nymphomaniac. He determined she had no symptoms indicating nymphomania and told her, "I get it. You like it. He likes it," and he ended up fucking her not long after their few sessions ended. He liked it too. I'm sure many would opine he violated his profession by doing that, but both willingly and eagerly entered into their short-term relationship and my wife isn't complaining. She says, "Why do some want to blame the psychologist but don't blame the woman?" In my non-professional opinion, she has a good point.

Essentially, "sperm competition" isn't provable for the reason no one knows how to merge the psyche with the physical. An enterprising psychologist could break new ground by finding "it's just fun" for both a husband/boyfriend and his wife/girlfriend. We're experienced and think most published articles on the issue miss the mark. Sex is fun for my wife and when another man is fucking her, that's fun for me. How complicated does that need to be?

~ Des, with approval here by his wife
Our hotwife history from its beginning at viewtopic.php?f=5&t=50057

nevertoolate

Re: "Why would a guy want his wife to sleep with another man"

Unread post by nevertoolate » Sun Oct 27, 2019 5:19 pm

An enterprising psychologist could break new ground by finding "it's just fun" for both a husband/boyfriend and his wife/girlfriend. We're experienced and think most published articles on the issue miss the mark. Sex is fun for my wife and when another man is fucking her, that's fun for me. How complicated does that need to be?
Sometimes the simplest of explanations are the best!

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Re: "Why would a guy want his wife to sleep with another man"

Unread post by JustWannaWatch » Wed Oct 30, 2019 3:26 pm

This is not intended for anyone in particular; just an open post.

I have tried to explain to a handful of people about our relationship and how it feels to be part of it? My explanation goes like this: think back when our milk teeth fall off and we have all those raw nerves exposed in the gums, and we run our toungue over them. Remember the feeling? Now multiply that by a 100 and integrate being on the verge of an orgasm. Now try to experience the same feelings while on a roller coaster during free fall. That is an addiction. Anyhow, my answer to all is that it makes my wife happy and when she is happy, I am happy.

-Frank
Our Story So Far: viewtopic.php?f=5&t=56141

Photos of my super sexy hotwife Elle: viewtopic.php?f=9&t=56634#p1041814

dinoo

Re: Why would a man want his woman to fuck another?

Unread post by dinoo » Thu Oct 31, 2019 11:54 pm

nvr2old wrote:
Thu Aug 09, 2007 3:39 am
We have established a level of communication that most couples would find bewildering and an excitement with each other that is pretty much unheard of after so many years of marriage. I have given up on trying to really understand exactly why I love seeing her with other men and am just basking in the fact that it is really happening to us.
WELL SAID !!!!!!!!!

early-kink
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Re: "Why would a guy want his wife to sleep with another man"

Unread post by early-kink » Mon Nov 04, 2019 5:46 am

As stated above - the simplest reasons are the best. If both in the couple are happy - for whatever the reason - that should be enough.

And as for those that point fingers at hotwifers & make degrading comments - how'd you like to be a fly on the wall of their minds AFTER they get done criticizing the hotwifers? How many of them do you suppose fantasize/wish they could try the very thing they just criticized???? I'll bet some pillow talk happens with them and maybe some questions and discussions happen. Probability of lusty thoughts in the minds of the criticizers??? I'll wager it's high. Look how many preachers of morality and purity get caught with their pants down - with someone other than their wife !!!

SailorGuy
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Re: "Why would a guy want his wife to sleep with another man"

Unread post by SailorGuy » Tue Nov 05, 2019 9:50 am

early-kink wrote:
Mon Nov 04, 2019 5:46 am
As stated above - the simplest reasons are the best. If both in the couple are happy - for whatever the reason - that should be enough.

And as for those that point fingers at hotwifers & make degrading comments - how'd you like to be a fly on the wall of their minds AFTER they get done criticizing the hotwifers? How many of them do you suppose fantasize/wish they could try the very thing they just criticized???? I'll bet some pillow talk happens with them and maybe some questions and discussions happen. Probability of lusty thoughts in the minds of the criticizers??? I'll wager it's high. Look how many preachers of morality and purity get caught with their pants down - with someone other than their wife !!!
Right! It feels healthy and good to have this extramarital sex life. My wife is SO sexually satisfied; there is NO worry about "cheating" when it is all out in the open. No jealousy or possessiveness. And I get to live my deepest fantasy: my beautiful wife in bed with another man.
It was hot enough when it all began, back when we were still lovers. But it's even hotter now that we are celibate with each other, that my wife is exclusive lovers with her Man, that she denies me totally, and all I am allowed is to masturbate, either on my own or, if she is feeling generous, next to her in bed. Then she tells me about her awesome lover, his gorgeous big cock, all the things he does to her, and she to him. And then the icing on the cake: she will look at my limp little dick and tell me how small I am, not big enough for her. I can almost cum just by her talking like this! Not even touching myself!
My wife is in heaven getting plowed by her stud of a lover: I am in heaven just thinking about it while rubbing my tiny limp dick.
THAT'S what it's all about.

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