Who suggested the Hot Wife Lifestyle

[samandi]

I am just curious. It seems that many of the HW couples started with the man talking the woman into it. I am wondering how many women were the ones to initiate the discussion and/or experience. In our case it was a given when we married that Sam would continue to see other men. I had and still have no objections and am extremely happy that she continues to enjoy her sexuality to the fullest extent possible.

[craven mohr]

I've had 2 hot GFs and a hot wife over a period of many years. In every case, I was the instigator.

The wife is just about out of the picture now, for reasons totally unrelated to this lifestyle. And as luck would have it, I ran directly into another woman who told me (on our first date) "I'm not vanilla".

Oh, my dear GOD.

I will have another hot GF, whether it's her or someone else.

[FredandAnn]

I posted that I, the husband, "suggested" the HotWife lifestyle. That's accurate if you call what I did to get this started suggesting . . . and I did my suggesting for over two years! Six months after we started enjoying HotWife adventures, Ann said that she would stop if I asked her to, but she didn't want to stop EVER! I told her I had no plan to have her stop . . . after all, a suggestion is a suggestion!

[seth1805]

It was definitely me, the husband, in our case. The first few times I watched porns of hung black men with white women I started having thoughts of my wife doing this.

[Tommy2662]

I brought it up after a rough year of marriage. I knew we both loved each other, but something wasn't right. We had used the idea of threesomes in our sex play, but after finding texts and Facebook messages to and from a mutual friend, I realized she had also enjoyed the attentions of other men. She is a natural flirt and has 'it'. I noticed the exchanges were getting more involved. The 'what ifs' and all that. Rather than making me angry, I found it strangely arousing. I had always enjoyed watching her flirt, so it made sense. I started reading up on wife sharing and it all came to me. She has the amazing ability to be with a man and focus solely on him at the moment. When she is with me, she is all mine! It all made perfect sense. We had a 'come to Jesus' meeting in October and I suggested sharing her. She said yes, she thought it was a good idea. That was the beginning of our new life together. He is now her boyfriend. I couldn't be happier. We also share her with other men who she has interested in. It has been an amazing journey! Our sex life is amazing, and she gets the freedom to be who she was born to be.

[DrKenRamie]

I chose husband because I said it out loud with words, but she said it implicitly by her actions even in our dating years before marriage.

Basically, if you read Tommy's post above you have also read our exact story. Actually, I think you have to have a situation like this to really have and enjoy hotwifing in the way that lasts.

[Puro-chile]

I, the hubby, introduced it, she was hesitant at first, but now loves it. Every now and then she takes a break, but always comes back to it, she loves me but also loves the freedom I give her. This is both our second marriage.

[Liese]

I introduced the idea of 'watch and be watched'. And hoped hub would broach doing more than that. Which he eventually did.

[theoldman]

I talked Kate into it but she has definitely embraced the lifestyle once she got started.

[seth1805]

It was definitely me, the husband, in our case. The first few times I watched porns of hung black men with white women I started having thoughts of my wife doing this.

The day I brought this up to my wife is a whole other story. I wonder if men and women take different approaches to how they bring this up?

[old folks]

With my first wife, we were in college and constantly looking for couples to swing with. I was not always able to go play and she did not want to sit home. It was pretty much mutally decided that she could play with other couples (she was bi) alone and that evolved into playing with singles.

With this one, she loved to flirt and flaunt her tits. I told her she should not tease unless she planned to play. She said she did not have a problem with having sex with other men if it was ok with me but she wanted me to be there and enjoy her as well. That changed when an opportunity for her to take a week of vacation with another man. Since then, there has been a few other men, some more than once when I was not there but knew about it in advance and got the details afterward. So I guess I was the main influence in this one as well.

[Just_Us]

I wouldn't say I really brought it up....It just kind of happened after our first threesome. Very rarely was there a one night stand unless the guy was really bad, lol...One friendship/relationship lasted 3 years, with a couple guys in between. We are now poly and she has a boyfriend (who is also a very good friend of mine) that she has been with for the last 3 years....Soon to be moving in with us.

[squiggly_lines]

I introduced the idea after our first year of marriage.

My wife is bi and was lamenting that she hadn't had a gf since before we got married. I told it was ok if she wanted to find a woman to be intimate with. I went on to tell her that I didn't see the difference if she found a male lover either.

It took about a year, but she eventually started seeing other men too.

[mellow2]

None of the above.
It was a natural progression for us and a journey we've shared.

Mel and I both enjoyed a lot of sex before we met and continued to do so together.We were faithful but mindful that there are a lot of sexy people out there. We fantasized a lot and explored each others deepest and dirtiest dreams.
If a particular fantasy didn't work for us we would leave it and maybe revisit it some time later. If it still didn't work we'd try something else.

Early in our relationship we would buy each other magazines. We enjoyed the stories- especially those where women took men other than their husbands and in particular mfm threesomes - and I would have her lie back and get off on pictures of naked guys while I licked, fingered and fucked her.She'd return the favour with my girlie magazines.
Eventually we discovered that we both go more out of me pleasuring her in that way and sharing that particular fantasy and as time went by she became relaxed and confident in being totally open about her sexuality, and 'letting the slut come out to play' as we called it. She confessed herself to be a cocklover.

When the internet came along we got into watching a lot of porn - pictures and videos. Our sex was always hottest after seeing a woman wearing a wedding ring and fucking someone who wasn't her husband, or a married woman taking two men.

So the idea of sharing became our favourite fantasy which we played out in many different ways.
We would talk often about inviting someone in to join us but, exciting as it was, it was just talk and we didn't really imagine we would ever do it.

We then discovered chatrooms, one of which was the old hotwives chat room - remember that - it wasn't moderated and it was a bit like the wild west in there at times, but we had some hot chat and cybersex. We shared hot stories, fantasies and pics of Mel with a few guys.
A threesome with another guy was still our hottest fantasy.

One night Mel had gone up to bed. I wasn't tired and got chatting to a guy who lived about 60 miles from us. We chatted about football, music and all sorts of stuff and he told me he'd shared with a couple for a few years till they moved away. I told him of our fantasy and he was interested without being pushy, and happy to share a few of his experiences.

To cut a long story short I told Mel about him and the three of us hooked up in chat quite often.
We all got along very well and after Mel and I had talked and talked and talked it over, arranged to meet for drinks. It's difficult to describe, but every step from then on was breathtaking, as the fantasy took on the possibility of becoming reality.

So we met for drinks in the city and afterwards they went off together for 20 minutes or so while I waited and then we all said our goodnights and traveled home.
Mel was so thrilled as she told me about how they kissed, he fingered her to an orgasm and she felt his long hard cock through his trousers. It seemed to take forever to get home that night!
Pretty tame stuff perhaps in the light of what later happened, but this was a massive step for us at the time and took things to another level.
As you can imagine, I was pretty excited too and we arranged to meet up at a hotel where we had our first threesome.

The first time, Mel didn't fuck him. There was a lot of stroking sucking and licking and she ended by sucking him while I took her from behind.
We had a tremendous evening. She had him cum in her mouth and not surprisingly we all agreed that we'd like to meet up again. This we did and she took his cock into her sweet married pussy on that second occasion. However hot it had been up till then, this was beyond anything we could have imagined.

There were a few issues to deal with together and new and sometimes scary fears and emotions on both sides but we stayed close and were open and honest with one another. All this time, our married sex was indescribable.
Sharing enhanced our relationship in a way we couldn't have imagined and we saw each other in a different light. Here was a woman who loved me totally, yet felt secure enough to surrender to her passion and lust, and with my love , support and encouragement for her, she saw me as the best husband a wife could have.
The slut certainly came out to play more and more often...unashamedly

The three of us met every month for a couple of years.
That was over 12 years ago and we've had many adventures since with a good number of men, a good few of whom we continue to meet up with quite regularly.


I'll stop there, as in 12 years of sharing there are far too many memories to write down here.

If anyone's interested we could tell of a few of our more memorable adventures (and Mel is half way through writing an account of what happened when we met a guy on a naturist beach in France earlier this year - whether she'll ever get it finished and post it remains to be seen as we've had a few more encounters since then and she'd rather do it than write about it).
But to get back on topic, neither of us suggested the hotwife lifestyle to the other. We simply got into it together, or possibly, being who we are, it chose us.

[all4g]

Definitely her idea. One day she told me she was going to start fucking other men and asked me how I was going to react to that. I told her it was a bad idea, gave several reasons why, but also said I wouldn't stop her. Within a few months she was actively seeking the right guy and the right situation, and about a year later she began fucking the first of a series of boyfriends.

[Yupp]

It was her, although it was originally presented as a growing interest in a specific person...an indeterminate length excursion that would end with a return to "us." It was some time before either of us became aware of the term "hotwife."

[Mia]

It was her, although it was originally presented as a growing interest in a specific person...an indeterminate length excursion that would end with a return to "us." It was some time before either of us became aware of the term "hotwife."

Welcome to OHW, Yupp.



Mia

[HWBarb4Fun]

Hubby, and I would never thought in my wildest fantasies my 2nd husband would have some up with something like this. It's been a lot of fun for us both, and we really enjoy it, and I truly believe it's made an incredible marriage even better. I could never have guessed I would feel so much love for my husband and support for his wild imagination :-)

[wlf]

There is no... "not yet" option? Although I can already tell I'll have to be the one to raise the idea. I've thought about when I should.. would it make sense to wait until we are already married? would it be better to get it out there as soon as possible? so many pros and cons to both.

Would anyone care to mention when in their relationship this was raised and then when it was acted upon?

[samandi]

Sam and I do not the norm but for what it is worth. Sam and I lived together as friends while she was in grad school. I did get a mercy fuck every so often but she routinely dated others and even had a fairly serious BF. Eventually we decided to marry but just because we were so comfortable together. I have never been the main romantic interest in her life so it was understood that she would continue to see her long term BF and other men as she desired. I am also free to seek other companions but am very content to be a cuck. I just love to have her come hme and tell me about her date and even better when she has been do a little cleanup down there.

[54321]

None of the above.
It was a natural progression for us and a journey we've shared.

Mel and I both enjoyed a lot of sex before we met and continued to do so together.We were faithful but mindful that there are a lot of sexy people out there. We fantasized a lot and explored each others deepest and dirtiest dreams.
If a particular fantasy didn't work for us we would leave it and maybe revisit it some time later. If it still didn't work we'd try something else.

Early in our relationship we would buy each other magazines. We enjoyed the stories- especially those where women took men other than their husbands and in particular mfm threesomes - and I would have her lie back and get off on pictures of naked guys while I licked, fingered and fucked her.She'd return the favour with my girlie magazines.
Eventually we discovered that we both go more out of me pleasuring her in that way and sharing that particular fantasy and as time went by she became relaxed and confident in being totally open about her sexuality, and 'letting the slut come out to play' as we called it. She confessed herself to be a cocklover.

When the internet came along we got into watching a lot of porn - pictures and videos. Our sex was always hottest after seeing a woman wearing a wedding ring and fucking someone who wasn't her husband, or a married woman taking two men.

So the idea of sharing became our favourite fantasy which we played out in many different ways.
We would talk often about inviting someone in to join us but, exciting as it was, it was just talk and we didn't really imagine we would ever do it.

We then discovered chatrooms, one of which was the old hotwives chat room - remember that - it wasn't moderated and it was a bit like the wild west in there at times, but we had some hot chat and cybersex. We shared hot stories, fantasies and pics of Mel with a few guys.
A threesome with another guy was still our hottest fantasy.

One night Mel had gone up to bed. I wasn't tired and got chatting to a guy who lived about 60 miles from us. We chatted about football, music and all sorts of stuff and he told me he'd shared with a couple for a few years till they moved away. I told him of our fantasy and he was interested without being pushy, and happy to share a few of his experiences.

To cut a long story short I told Mel about him and the three of us hooked up in chat quite often.
We all got along very well and after Mel and I had talked and talked and talked it over, arranged to meet for drinks. It's difficult to describe, but every step from then on was breathtaking, as the fantasy took on the possibility of becoming reality.

So we met for drinks in the city and afterwards they went off together for 20 minutes or so while I waited and then we all said our goodnights and traveled home.
Mel was so thrilled as she told me about how they kissed, he fingered her to an orgasm and she felt his long hard cock through his trousers. It seemed to take forever to get home that night!
Pretty tame stuff perhaps in the light of what later happened, but this was a massive step for us at the time and took things to another level.
As you can imagine, I was pretty excited too and we arranged to meet up at a hotel where we had our first threesome.

The first time, Mel didn't fuck him. There was a lot of stroking sucking and licking and she ended by sucking him while I took her from behind.
We had a tremendous evening. She had him cum in her mouth and not surprisingly we all agreed that we'd like to meet up again. This we did and she took his cock into her sweet married pussy on that second occasion. However hot it had been up till then, this was beyond anything we could have imagined.

There were a few issues to deal with together and new and sometimes scary fears and emotions on both sides but we stayed close and were open and honest with one another. All this time, our married sex was indescribable.
Sharing enhanced our relationship in a way we couldn't have imagined and we saw each other in a different light. Here was a woman who loved me totally, yet felt secure enough to surrender to her passion and lust, and with my love , support and encouragement for her, she saw me as the best husband a wife could have.
The slut certainly came out to play more and more often...unashamedly

The three of us met every month for a couple of years.
That was over 12 years ago and we've had many adventures since with a good number of men, a good few of whom we continue to meet up with quite regularly.


I'll stop there, as in 12 years of sharing there are far too many memories to write down here.

If anyone's interested we could tell of a few of our more memorable adventures (and Mel is half way through writing an account of what happened when we met a guy on a naturist beach in France earlier this year - whether she'll ever get it finished and post it remains to be seen as we've had a few more encounters since then and she'd rather do it than write about it).
But to get back on topic, neither of us suggested the hotwife lifestyle to the other. We simply got into it together, or possibly, being who we are, it chose us.

I love anything that Mr and Mrs Mellow2 write. (Sadly there's only a little on this site). They just seem to be such a normal hotwifing couple.

54321

[lonecuck]

I saw the look on my ex's face when my buddy Marc was around. It was literally impossible for her to hide her attraction, if that's a strong enough word. She wouldn't even flirt with him, her eyes would go wide and it looked like she was hypnotized. I don't think there was ever a moment when he couldn't have taken her by the hand into the bedroom and just had his way with her. When I first confronted her about it, she blushed an intense red, but couldn't deny it. At first I was jealous, but eventually I decided to go with the flow, as nature has a way of taking it's course. I thought I'd be better off if she fucked him with my knowledge rather than behind my back. When we were fucking later on, I told her to tell me "Fuck me Marc" and as soon as she said it, she had a cataclysmic, shuddering OG. At that point, I realized that I was going to have to arrange for her to get the real thing.

[zorro]

she gets the freedom to be who she was born to be.

Exactly!

[Poptart]

My husband suggested it when we were dating. We tried it and still at it 4 decades later.

[stevens]

Right after we were married, my wife and I were in bed sharing fantasies. She mentioned she'd been giving a co-worker oral sex from time to time on lunch break in a company car, and would really like to go "all the way with him." Her fantasy, she said, was to have him taking her all night long. As she told me this, we were lying side by side, 'kinda facing one another, and her hand was gently rubbing my cock. My cock told her this was a good idea, and we wound up having about 8 years of fun with her boyfriend, often with her seeing him solo. I traveled a good deal for work, and he would spend the night or weekend with her when I was gone. Other times he'd just show up and join us in bed. She let him know he could take her any time he liked, and he did! He wound up taking a position outside of the US, then got married, and that's the only reason things slowed down.