Unread post
by ccbj691 » Tue Jan 23, 2024 4:32 pm
Hello everyone, I am hoping you may be able to help me with some advice.
First a bit of background:
Approximately 20 years ago (before we had children) my wife (then girlfriend) would regularly fantasize with me about my fantasy of her sleeping with another man while i watched, we used it a lot in the bedroom to get us both going and for a long time it was just fantasy. It was always my biggest fantasy and she played along with me, but always resisted saying she would do it.
She has always made it very clear that it was fantasy and that she was not really interested in it, and didn't want it to happen in real life.
Over time she became more and more into it as a fantasy, and allowed us to put together an online dating profile, and then would talk to interested guys via the chat. This led to lots more sex between us, which was great. She was happy to flirt with other guys via online, but was reluctant to take the next step. Then this progressed to inviting a guy who we were regularly chatting to over one night, who unfortunately stood us up. This really set things back in terms of finding a stranger via online.
At the time we were living together and were young so hosted lots of parties at our house, and friends would drop by. One time when a friend of mine was too drunk to drive home and stayed the night on the couch we went to bed and fantasized all night about asking him in to have sex with her, and she asked me to go and get him, but i got a bit nervous that night and didn't do it. Several months after that night we had a different friend unable to drive home and stay the night and again we started fooling around in bed and she asked me to see if he wanted to join us, probably thinking I would chicken out again. This time I didn't, he came in and we had a pretty crazy night of sex.
My wife really enjoyed that night, I was shocked how calm and in control during the night she was, but also how crazily turned on she was. It was the best night I can remember! But the next morning she was pretty quiet, and talked afterwards about regretting it, and how it was a bit weird. We talked through a lot of things, including how much it had turned me on, and then she relaxed enough to talk more and then seemed OK with it, but said it was a one off only. But then the next weekend, mainly from me asking a lot during the week we ended up inviting him for another threesome.
The only issue with the two threesomes that we had was that my friend was not great in bed. He was very sexually inexperienced (which at first I think was a turn on for my wife). He struggled not to cum too quick, and then struggled to keep it up after and cum a second time, which I think my wife felt was a reflection that he wasn't that into it. It was still heaps of fun but it would have heped if he was a better performer.
After those two times my wife didn't ask for a repeat encounter, and it had satisfied my incredible lust to see it happen. A few months later my friend popped in unexpectedly on a friday night, my wife and i were home and invited him in. He used to do that before our threesomes so it wasn't strange. We ended up getting some games out and played, which turned into a few drinks, and then turned into another threesome. This one was really long, and included lots of foreplay beforehand as the games we were playing had turned sexual, with lots of nudity and kissing penalties for losing etc.
After that third encounter we ended up moving away for a year travelling, and no new experiences happened during that time. We continued fantasizing about threesomes and watching her a lot during that travelling year though, but instead of it being generic strangers, or people we were meeting on our travels it was always about our friend. My wife would get off talking about him, and talking about doing more with him when we would get back home. I never pushed her to explore with another guy at the time (perhaps I should have!). Whenever we were both playing with each other she would be turned on about it, and whenever not playing she was much more reluctant to bring it up. Again she always made it very clear that it is my fantasy and that she is not really interested in it, and doesn't want it to happen, and that she only ever did it a few times to make me happy.
When we returned from our holiday we hosted a coming home party to which all of our friends came, including our threesome friend. I didn't instigate anything that night or in the lead up, and was really suprised by my wife that night, as she usually insisted she was only doing it for me, and I had been the instigator for everytime previous. That night as things were winding up she kissed me deeply and told me she wanted to have sex with him and me that night. I was a bit shocked that she was so confident, and that she actually appeared to want to do it, not just for me. She told me she had already kissed him in the passageway that night and had grabbed his cock. I was pretty shocked (both good and bad). As people started leaving she was very vocal with one of her friends to see if she could drive home a couple of our other party guests that had mentioned crashing in the house but she actively made sure that the only person left in the house was our threesome friend, and told everyone that he could stay and drive himself home the next day. It was very unusual for her to be so proactive in getting the three of us alone in the house. Usually it was me orchestrating it with her not really caring if something happened or not. When everyone left we immediately stripped off and got straight into the best of the threesomes we ever had. My wife was insatiable that night, she pushed things in my fantasy that really caught me off guard, she rode him talking to me saying how jealous she was going to make me that night, she teased us, was wetter than i have ever seen, she squirted from oral which had never happened previously, and then she also asked for me to go into another room for some alone time with him. She had asked for it before in fantasy talk, but never when it was actually happening. I gave them some time, and listened from the other room to her being as vocal as she has ever been before, and came back to watch her have the strongest orgasm she has ever had. She also asked for him to sleep the night in our bed with us both that night, which she had never asked for before. I came a few times, during the session but she wanted it to keep going, which was very unusual for her, and when i started getting some post nut clarity after my third or fourth time and was extremely tired (it was now about 4am), i started feeling a bit dejected at how insatiable she was. I wanted my friend to leave so that I could properly reclaim her, but she seemed more intent in continuing to fuck him than reading the signs i was giving. I really should have burried my emotions a bit deeper at the time, because she picked up my negative body language, and then got angry that she was doing all of this for me, that it was my fantasy, and that if i was going to be upset she would never do it again. My friend ended up leaving, and we both had an arguement and went to sleep.
The next day she was calm, but also said that she was done with it all, and would not do anything further. By then i was turned on again by reliving all of the events and wanted to talk about it, and tried to tell her how sexy it was and how turned on she had made me, but she was angry.
After that my friend popped by for occasional visits as he had done before, but things never happened again like they had before. One night when he came over my wife was only wearing a light tank top and no bra and she sat in front of me on the floor as we watched a movie, so i could rub her shoulders. I rubbed her shoulders and pulled her straps off and openly exposed and rubbed her breasts which she really started getting into, then when i asked her to lay on her stomach so we could both rub her and i thought we were leading towards another threesome she clammed up, and then went and got changed and nothing happened.
Since that night it happened one more time about a year after at our new house, where again after a party our friend stayed and I asked her if she would do it again for me and for my fantasy, which she did. It sort of felt final, it was still fun but much shorter than some of our other sessions. After my friend and I had cum my friend went to his seperate bedroom, and she didnt ask for anything more, or alone time with him.
From then things seemed to get more awkward with our friend. He would pop around randomly, when we were out he would try and talk to my wife, and she then always felt he was sniffing around trying to see if more sex would happen, and it changed the nature of their friendship. He came across as clingy and desperate, and it was a major turn off for my wife, not just sexually but for their friendship too. Not long after we got married, and tried to start our family, so that fantasy slid of the radar a bit. I still raised it during lovemaking quite a bit, and she would go really stiff and awkward whenever i mentioned her fucking my friend again. Then she went completely of the fantasy altogether. I have tried to get her to talk about it, and even induldge it in just a fantasy way but now she wont even talk about that.
I look back with fondness over the times we did some naughty things with our friend, but she cringes and hates thinking about it. I am really lost to now know what to do. It has been around 10 years since our last play with another, and it just seems like she now hates the thought of it, and there is some deep embarasment about it, which there shouldn't be.
I am not sure how i can ever reintroduce the subject. I would love to dip our toes back in the water again. The second I bring it up she closes up and will not even entertain it. She will not even discuss it as fantasy in the bedroom, because she thinks if we talk about it again I will hassel her to do it again. I can't even break through to have a small discussion around it.
I know that deep down she had some amazing experiences, and was really into it. I would like to know how i can raise this with her without her shutting it down immediately. I understand that she needs to do things at her own speed, and that she may not want to do it again, and i respect those wishes, but i would like to at least be able to bring it up and communicate about it withouth being shut out. If anyone has any similar experiences with and now regrets it, or a someone who has had a long break and has come back around to the idea I would love to hear it.
Sorry for such a long post, thanks for reading! I am desperate to reintroduce it just as a fantasy back into our lives, and would love some advice from the VHW's on what my wife might be feeling, and how I might be able to reignite that spark for her in this lifestyle.
Lol jk. My only advice is support her. Talk to her about her wants and be upfront with her about what you want. Does she want to meet guys alone or does she want you there? In what capacity does she want you involved?
Thank you Farmgirl for telling me where it's at!! 
.
