Ask a Hotwife Thread, to be answered by VHWs only!

[soccermomzready]

My wife used to have an insatiable sex drive but has been experiencing a lack of desire due to hormonal changes (hot flashes and such), she’s mid/fifties. I’ve mentioned she should go to her ob/gyn to see about it. She says she’s fine, but will go.

At one time I read somewhere on the site about hormone replacement or something like that to where they implant a pellet size something under the skin and it boosts the sex drive. The person who mentioned the pellet said his wife’s sex drive went crazy good.

Can anyone help or give me any advice? Thank you.

[Buckskin]

My wife became a hotwife 2 years ago. She loves to have sex, has a very strong sex drive, and is multi-orgasmic. She is an absolutely beautiful blond with a bubbling personality and men usually go ga-ga over her when they see her. I had developed ED and If I didn't have ED I know she would fuck me every day. But I couldn't give her the passion she desired, so I started suggesting she get a FWB and began to shop for one for her. She was really hesitant about becoming a hotwife, but after I persuaded her to give it a try with two close friends of ours, she has really gotten into it and really enjoys it. However, I guess you would classify us now as vixen/stag because: (1) since after trying the two guys I picked for her, she has settled on only one that she really gets along with and sexually enjoys; (2) I do not want to be (and am not being) humiliated; (3) I really enjoy watching them and feel good that she is getting what she needs that I can't give her. Our current rules are that she can do about anything she wants with him (and she does do about everything except anal), as long as: it is just sex with no love feelings, they only meet in our home, I am present, and they let me watch/video them. He has an impressive 9inch/thick cock that she absolutely loves to ride and to suck. He puts her into ecstasy and gives her continuous orgasms that sometimes last for 15-20 minutes when she rides him. And you can hear her verbally two doors away during those long orgasms. She does like him personally as a friend, but insists it is only sex, and that I am her soul-mate and always will be. She tells me all about what happens in her sessions and what they talk about, treats me like royalty, takes care of my every need, and we trust each other completely. So I have no current concerns and think the FWB arrangement she has is really good for her and gives her what I can't.

My question that I hope you HWs will answer for me is [u]what indicators should a stag look for that indicate the sex is getting to be more than just sex and that she (or him) may be falling in love[/u]. I don't think she would ever want to give up on me as her husband, but I would never be able to handle losing her and I want to be prepared to shut it off if need be.

[Farmgirl]

My wife used to have an insatiable sex drive but has been experiencing a lack of desire due to hormonal changes (hot flashes and such), she’s mid/fifties. I’ve mentioned she should go to her ob/gyn to see about it. She says she’s fine, but will go.

At one time I read somewhere on the site about hormone replacement or something like that to where they implant a pellet size something under the skin and it boosts the sex drive. The person who mentioned the pellet said his wife’s sex drive went crazy good.

Can anyone help or give me any advice? Thank you.

I use the BioTe implants, as does my Number1. She doesn't need to go to an ObGyn for them, many general practitioners do them.

[Farmgirl]

My wife became a hotwife 2 years ago. She loves to have sex, has a very strong sex drive, and is multi-orgasmic. She is an absolutely beautiful blond with a bubbling personality and men usually go ga-ga over her when they see her. I had developed ED and If I didn't have ED I know she would fuck me every day. But I couldn't give her the passion she desired, so I started suggesting she get a FWB and began to shop for one for her. She was really hesitant about becoming a hotwife, but after I persuaded her to give it a try with two close friends of ours, she has really gotten into it and really enjoys it. However, I guess you would classify us now as vixen/stag because: (1) since after trying the two guys I picked for her, she has settled on only one that she really gets along with and sexually enjoys; (2) I do not want to be (and am not being) humiliated; (3) I really enjoy watching them and feel good that she is getting what she needs that I can't give her. Our current rules are that she can do about anything she wants with him (and she does do about everything except anal), as long as: it is just sex with no love feelings, they only meet in our home, I am present, and they let me watch/video them. He has an impressive 9inch/thick cock that she absolutely loves to ride and to suck. He puts her into ecstasy and gives her continuous orgasms that sometimes last for 15-20 minutes when she rides him. And you can hear her verbally two doors away during those long orgasms. She does like him personally as a friend, but insists it is only sex, and that I am her soul-mate and always will be. She tells me all about what happens in her sessions and what they talk about, treats me like royalty, takes care of my every need, and we trust each other completely. So I have no current concerns and think the FWB arrangement she has is really good for her and gives her what I can't.

My question that I hope you HWs will answer for me is [u]what indicators should a stag look for that indicate the sex is getting to be more than just sex and that she (or him) may be falling in love[/u]. I don't think she would ever want to give up on me as her husband, but I would never be able to handle losing her and I want to be prepared to shut it off if need be.

First off, a Stag is a husband of a wife that plays, but he also plays with other women. If you don't play with other women, then you are most likely a Hotwife husband.

My husband is also my soulmate, the love of my life, but I have a boyfriend that I also love. My love for my boyfriend in no way takes anything away from my husband. There is no limit to love, I don't run out or run short when I love others. Love is unlimited, and my husband, my Number1, is always first and foremost in my heart, always will be! This is something that I know!
If you really trust each other, why would you worry whether she loves one of her guys? Why would that be considered a detriment to you and your marriage? Trust is trust, you either have it or you don't. And, if your trust isn't where it should be, open and honest communication with your wife is how trust is built. Talk to each other, then you'll know for sure.

[Buckskin]

This is something that I know!
If you really trust each other, why would you worry whether she loves one of her guys? Why would that be considered a detriment to you and your marriage? Trust is trust, you either have it or you don't. And, if your trust isn't where it should be, open and honest communication with your wife is how trust is built. Talk to each other, then you'll know for sure.

I think we do really trust each other. However, that is the current situation. What I am expressing concern about is what may happen as her relationship continues and reaches a point where she (or he) develop emotional feelings for each other and start wanting the relationship to be more than just sex. At that point, whether she trusts me or not, she may decide she wants him rather than me or maybe (as you point out) want both of us. All I am asking advice about is how to recognize when that is happening and whether to stop it or not when it does. I seem to sense that in your opinion and experience I should just let it happen if it does, and then settle for what would be a palo amorous relationship of my wife with both me and her FWB???

[soccermomzready]

My wife used to have an insatiable sex drive but has been experiencing a lack of desire due to hormonal changes (hot flashes and such), she’s mid/fifties. I’ve mentioned she should go to her ob/gyn to see about it. She says she’s fine, but will go.

At one time I read somewhere on the site about hormone replacement or something like that to where they implant a pellet size something under the skin and it boosts the sex drive. The person who mentioned the pellet said his wife’s sex drive went crazy good.

Can anyone help or give me any advice? Thank you.

I use the BioTe implants, as does my Number1. She doesn't need to go to an ObGyn for them, many general practitioners do them.

Thank you, Farmgirl !

[Littlebeau]

I have a question just hope it’s ok. My HW has been fucking guys for many years an she likes to have some steady studs to do things like paint her toenails. But with me she has me kiss her feet a suck her toes sometimes sternly ordering me to do them a certain way that please her. Well I enjoy doing this an so does her special men. I want to know what she likes about us doing these for her. Do you girls think it’s for the same reason for both things? I don’t want to ask her an ruin her experience! Once at a large party sitting in a group of friends and relatives she slipped off her shoes wiggled her pretty toes toward me which gave me an overwhelming desire to get down an kiss, suck them for her. Embarrassing as it was I couldn’t help but obey her! I can ponder her reasons like expressing her power over us or a form of foreplay since she flashes us when in private as we do her bidding. Thanks

[2inUPMichigan]

This is something that I know!
If you really trust each other, why would you worry whether she loves one of her guys? Why would that be considered a detriment to you and your marriage? Trust is trust, you either have it or you don't. And, if your trust isn't where it should be, open and honest communication with your wife is how trust is built. Talk to each other, then you'll know for sure.

I think we do really trust each other. However, that is the current situation. What I am expressing concern about is what may happen as her relationship continues and reaches a point where she (or he) develop emotional feelings for each other and start wanting the relationship to be more than just sex. At that point, whether she trusts me or not, she may decide she wants him rather than me or maybe (as you point out) want both of us. All I am asking advice about is how to recognize when that is happening and whether to stop it or not when it does. I seem to sense that in your opinion and experience I should just let it happen if it does, and then settle for what would be a palo amorous relationship of my wife with both me and her FWB???

Why are you so focused on this happening? Being a hotwife is not a progression towards leaving our husband. Playing with another man is just that, playing. It isn't real life and could never compare with real life with our spouse our partner for life our husband.
These guys are NOT substitutes for our husbands. They are a bit of fun.

Have I developed feelings for any man that I played with? Yes of course. But before you go off the deep end imagining the worst let me explain.
He is my friend and someone I can trust my body with. I have some affection for him and only want the best for him in life. If something bad in his life happens I am concerned for him.

However, I have never once considered spending more time with him than my husband. I don't want to have them as equals in my life. I do not share my vanilla life with the men I play with nor do I have any interest in ever doing so.

You see there is a limit to any feelings that I could or would develop for a man that I play with. The opposite is true for my husband. There is no limit!
I share my life with my husband, I share my body and occasionally friendship with the men I play with. The two can't compare, hubby wins every time

[Farmgirl]

This is something that I know!
If you really trust each other, why would you worry whether she loves one of her guys? Why would that be considered a detriment to you and your marriage? Trust is trust, you either have it or you don't. And, if your trust isn't where it should be, open and honest communication with your wife is how trust is built. Talk to each other, then you'll know for sure.

I think we do really trust each other. However, that is the current situation. What I am expressing concern about is what may happen as her relationship continues and reaches a point where she (or he) develop emotional feelings for each other and start wanting the relationship to be more than just sex. At that point, whether she trusts me or not, she may decide she wants him rather than me or maybe (as you point out) want both of us. All I am asking advice about is how to recognize when that is happening and whether to stop it or not when it does. I seem to sense that in your opinion and experience I should just let it happen if it does, and then settle for what would be a palo amorous relationship of my wife with both me and her FWB???

How do you say you trust her when you have doubts about her leaving you for another man? Doubt is not trust.
You are worried about some possibility. Possibilities abound about us, but rarely are they probabilities of any consequence.

[Lookingforadventure]

What are some major turn-offs that husbands can do? I’ve been really needy since she started with this new guy, and I’m sure it’s wearing her down and turning her off (although we are still having more sex than we’ve had in years). What are some of the worst things a husband like me can do if he wants his wife to be turned on by him?

What are some of the best things? Specifically for husbands, since we are obviously in a weird category compared to bulls.

Why have you been needy? And have you explained those feelings to her?

For me, intimacy is important in my relationship with my husband. And that includes the intimacy of being open and honest with each other. If you are holding something back, or expecting things from her but not explaining the why behind them, it can get in the way of the connection you crave.

Beyond that, things that my husband does that get me in the mood include: sending me text throughout the day that say he's thinking about me, him kissing me goodbye when he leaves or randomly kissing me as he passes me in the house, compliments on how i look that day, sexy talk about what he'd like to do to me later. I guess I like to feel wanted. He does a great job of that.

[scottamadore2]

I always had fantasy for hotwife Lifestyle I told my fantasy to wife before we got married.
Recently she started showing some signs of becoming a hotwife
Now when we started looking for a potential bull for her we were unable to find the right man and most of the singles we came across were indecent.
While searching for a single male profiles we came across a couple profile and they also shared equal interest. Now I too liked this girl from the other couple and when I spoke to husband she too seem to be interested in playing with me.
My wife strongly opposed it and said that I cannot share you with anyone.
I tried to explain everything that it's not going to be anything more then physical relationship .
But she is not at all willing to let me sleep with anyone she is okay with the idea of her sleeping with several men.
Please guide me what to do from here?

[2inUPMichigan]

I always had fantasy for hotwife Lifestyle I told my fantasy to wife before we got married.
Recently she started showing some signs of becoming a hotwife
Now when we started looking for a potential bull for her we were unable to find the right man and most of the singles we came across were indecent.
While searching for a single male profiles we came across a couple profile and they also shared equal interest. Now I too liked this girl from the other couple and when I spoke to husband she too seem to be interested in playing with me.
My wife strongly opposed it and said that I cannot share you with anyone.
I tried to explain everything that it's not going to be anything more then physical relationship .
But she is not at all willing to let me sleep with anyone she is okay with the idea of her sleeping with several men.
Please guide me what to do from here?

When you asked her to consider being a hotwife did you mention your interest in having sex with other women? Did the subject of you continuing to be monogamous come up at all?

If you hid from her your interest in having sex with others hoping she would become a hotwife first, that was dishonest. If at any point you thought you were interested in playing with women you should have sat down with her and discussed the subject.
To discuss playing with the other couple without first talking with your wife sounds like you were trying to manipulate the situation, there is a lack of communication skills or you do not understand that a hotwife is not the same as a swinger.

Just because YOU are turned on by the thought of your spouse having sex with someone else does not mean that your spouse will have that same turn on.
The two of you made a decision about her having sex with others based on how each of you separately felt about it and how it would affect each other. The same decision would have to be made in thos situation. The two decisions are not linked.
She agreed to a hotwifing lifestyle not a swinging lifestyle. The two are different, not the same.

My advice? Pass on this couple.
Sit down together and listen to what your wife has to say, then tell her what you are thinking. This is not the time to be making plans separately. Any plans you make about adding people to your sex life you do together.

Talking to a couple about having sex with the wife when you were supposedly looking for men for her to play with doesn't look good for you. Looks like you might have been using her as a way to have sex with other women.

I hope the two of you can work this out

[scottamadore2]

I always had fantasy for hotwife Lifestyle I told my fantasy to wife before we got married.
Recently she started showing some signs of becoming a hotwife
Now when we started looking for a potential bull for her we were unable to find the right man and most of the singles we came across were indecent.
While searching for a single male profiles we came across a couple profile and they also shared equal interest. Now I too liked this girl from the other couple and when I spoke to husband she too seem to be interested in playing with me.
My wife strongly opposed it and said that I cannot share you with anyone.
I tried to explain everything that it's not going to be anything more then physical relationship .
But she is not at all willing to let me sleep with anyone she is okay with the idea of her sleeping with several men.
Please guide me what to do from here?

When you asked her to consider being a hotwife did you mention your interest in having sex with other women? Did the subject of you continuing to be monogamous come up at all?

If you hid from her your interest in having sex with others hoping she would become a hotwife first, that was dishonest. If at any point you thought you were interested in playing with women you should have sat down with her and discussed the subject.
To discuss playing with the other couple without first talking with your wife sounds like you were trying to manipulate the situation, there is a lack of communication skills or you do not understand that a hotwife is not the same as a swinger.

Just because YOU are turned on by the thought of your spouse having sex with someone else does not mean that your spouse will have that same turn on.
The two of you made a decision about her having sex with others based on how each of you separately felt about it and how it would affect each other. The same decision would have to be made in thos situation. The two decisions are not linked.
She agreed to a hotwifing lifestyle not a swinging lifestyle. The two are different, not the same.

My advice? Pass on this couple.
Sit down together and listen to what your wife has to say, then tell her what you are thinking. This is not the time to be making plans separately. Any plans you make about adding people to your sex life you do together.

Talking to a couple about having sex with the wife when you were supposedly looking for men for her to play with doesn't look good for you. Looks like you might have been using her as a way to have sex with other women.

I hope the two of you can work this out

Thanks for such a detailed explanation
I have tried to explain my part and why I would involve with another women, this is true that initially I never thought to get involved but with this couple there was some attraction and it felt safe and sound.
She is hurt she says that I always thought I am the only one there is no replacement of me . For now I have stopped bringing up the subject of hotwife/ lifestyle.
And for now I have decided never to bring it up if she is not comfortable. Now I have no idea what's ahead.

[2inUPMichigan]

I have a question just hope it’s ok. My HW has been fucking guys for many years an she likes to have some steady studs to do things like paint her toenails. But with me she has me kiss her feet a suck her toes sometimes sternly ordering me to do them a certain way that please her. Well I enjoy doing this an so does her special men. I want to know what she likes about us doing these for her. Do you girls think it’s for the same reason for both things? I don’t want to ask her an ruin her experience! Once at a large party sitting in a group of friends and relatives she slipped off her shoes wiggled her pretty toes toward me which gave me an overwhelming desire to get down an kiss, suck them for her. Embarrassing as it was I couldn’t help but obey her! I can ponder her reasons like expressing her power over us or a form of foreplay since she flashes us when in private as we do her bidding. Thanks

We connect with different people in different ways so it makes sense that we might feel compelled to ask for different services from them. It does sound like she enjoys acts of service as a way for a man to show her affection/attention and to potentially show those around her the position you hold in her life.

As a Switch I can tell you that the rush of power when a man submits to you is a wonderful aphrodisiac Yes! It's a huge turn on for men to do things for you just because it pleases you.
Damn! I need a play date

If you enjoy being her service sub and she enjoys being your Domme then have fun with it!

[irishstag41]

Beautiful hotwives,
My wife and her boyfriend are now pretty committed in so far as they are regularly seeing each other once a week and have developed feelings for one another. This is all above aboard and its what we have discussed when we went into this lifestyle.
They have planned a weekend away , which is a big step . I trust my wife and am fine with this.
However my wives boyfriends brother knows me , and the thought of our arrangement becoming knowledge, even accidentally ,is causing me anxiety. My wife stays over near the brother's house
Our lifestyle is secret and it would be a disaster if it got out. Am i being to paranoid .

[Big Red]

Are there hotwifes out there who were initially reluctant to try apps or online sites to find FWBs/Bulls, but eventually did? If so what were the results, and would you share what convinced you to put yourself out there online?

[Farmgirl]

I have a question just hope it’s ok. My HW has been fucking guys for many years an she likes to have some steady studs to do things like paint her toenails. But with me she has me kiss her feet a suck her toes sometimes sternly ordering me to do them a certain way that please her. Well I enjoy doing this an so does her special men. I want to know what she likes about us doing these for her. Do you girls think it’s for the same reason for both things? I don’t want to ask her an ruin her experience! Once at a large party sitting in a group of friends and relatives she slipped off her shoes wiggled her pretty toes toward me which gave me an overwhelming desire to get down an kiss, suck them for her. Embarrassing as it was I couldn’t help but obey her! I can ponder her reasons like expressing her power over us or a form of foreplay since she flashes us when in private as we do her bidding. Thanks

I think you should ask her. We don't know what is in her mind.

[Farmgirl]

Beautiful hotwives,
My wife and her boyfriend are now pretty committed in so far as they are regularly seeing each other once a week and have developed feelings for one another. This is all above aboard and its what we have discussed when we went into this lifestyle.
They have planned a weekend away , which is a big step . I trust my wife and am fine with this.
However my wives boyfriends brother knows me , and the thought of our arrangement becoming knowledge, even accidentally ,is causing me anxiety. My wife stays over near the brother's house
Our lifestyle is secret and it would be a disaster if it got out. Am i being to paranoid .

How does your wife feel about it, does it concern her? Seems if it was a disaster in the making, she would be concerned too.

[irishstag41]

Beautiful hotwives,
My wife and her boyfriend are now pretty committed in so far as they are regularly seeing each other once a week and have developed feelings for one another. This is all above aboard and its what we have discussed when we went into this lifestyle.
They have planned a weekend away , which is a big step . I trust my wife and am fine with this.
However my wives boyfriends brother knows me , and the thought of our arrangement becoming knowledge, even accidentally ,is causing me anxiety. My wife stays over near the brother's house
Our lifestyle is secret and it would be a disaster if it got out. Am i being to paranoid .

How does your wife feel about it, does it concern her? Seems if it was a disaster in the making, she wouldn't be concerned too.

No she is not too concerned . She's very easy going and is not anxious about it. She is from a different country and background tbh

[Farmgirl]

Beautiful hotwives,
My wife and her boyfriend are now pretty committed in so far as they are regularly seeing each other once a week and have developed feelings for one another. This is all above aboard and its what we have discussed when we went into this lifestyle.
They have planned a weekend away , which is a big step . I trust my wife and am fine with this.
However my wives boyfriends brother knows me , and the thought of our arrangement becoming knowledge, even accidentally ,is causing me anxiety. My wife stays over near the brother's house
Our lifestyle is secret and it would be a disaster if it got out. Am i being to paranoid .

How does your wife feel about it, does it concern her? Seems if it was a disaster in the making, she wouldn't be concerned too.

No she is not too concerned . She's very easy going and is not anxious about it. She is from a different country and background tbh

Since she isn't concerned, have you talked to her about why you're concerned?

[rodturn]

Hello hot wives!
Would love to know YOUR favourite thing about being a hot wife…. Not number 1’s favourite or the playmates favourite thing. Just yours. Expounding on it is not required but is definitely encouraged.
Rodturn

[irishstag41]

Beautiful hotwives,
My wife and her boyfriend are now pretty committed in so far as they are regularly seeing each other once a week and have developed feelings for one another. This is all above aboard and its what we have discussed when we went into this lifestyle.
They have planned a weekend away , which is a big step . I trust my wife and am fine with this.
However my wives boyfriends brother knows me , and the thought of our arrangement becoming knowledge, even accidentally ,is causing me anxiety. My wife stays over near the brother's house
Our lifestyle is secret and it would be a disaster if it got out. Am i being to paranoid .

How does your wife feel about it, does it concern her? Seems if it was a disaster in the making, she wouldn't be concerned too.

No she is not too concerned . She's very easy going and is not anxious about it. She is from a different country and background tbh

Since she isn't concerned, have you talked to her about why you're concerned?

Hi Farmgirl
Yes I have.
She says I'm being to nervous. I guess she has a point. She's going through the NRE part . Very much in love , so I understand her eagerness. Where I'm from this lifestyle is not common. I guess I will calm down soon
Thanks

[Farmgirl]

Hi Farmgirl
Yes I have.
She says I'm being to nervous. I guess she has a point. She's going through the NRE part . Very much in love , so I understand her eagerness. Where I'm from this lifestyle is not common. I guess I will calm down soon
Thanks

I think you're getting a better understanding now .
She has more "skin" in the game, so to speak, so I would defer to her on this unless you have reason to not trust her judgment. And, any distrust of her on your part would raise way more red flags than what you've been talking about (not that I think you're really doing that).

[irishstag41]

Thanks farm girl. Yes there is no distrust just support Thanks

[QueenHedone]

Hello hot wives!
Would love to know YOUR favourite thing about being a hot wife…. Not number 1’s favourite or the playmates favourite thing. Just yours. Expounding on it is not required but is definitely encouraged.
Rodturn

I haven’t been doing this for very long (only a few months), but I’d say my favorite thing about it is how much I’ve learned about myself, my sexuality, what I like and what I want. It’s given me such freedom to be as filthy and greedy in bed as I want to be without losing myself. And in fact, the deeper I go, the more clarity and confidence I have that I am becoming more and more myself.